Carrick

It’s funny just how fast your life can change. It had only been a few years since I got the call from Zac that had started everything. And now here I was, laying in bed between him and his brother. I had always loved Zac, in one way or another, and there’d always been a connection between Tay and me. And ever since our secret wedding, my feelings for both of them–all our feelings all around, really–have only grown. It wasn’t a normal relationship by any means, and Zac and I weren’t even publicly out yet. But that didn’t bother me. As long as I had him, and Tay, I was always happy… and always looking forward to the next twist.

I woke up to the familiar smells of Tay’s homemade breakfast and the feeling of Zac’s body curled up against mine. I nuzzled his neck, prompting him to burrow deeper against my chest. Some things never change, and thank god for that.

“Baby,” I whispered, kissing his cheek; he glanced up at me through drowsy eyes. “Mornin’,” I told him, nipping at his ear. He mumbled a response and tried to curl back up.

“C’mon babe. I give the diva five minutes before he calls us down.” Regardless of our ever-changing lives, our morning routine was one thing that had stayed relatively the same. It was comforting, really. But that didn’t make it any easier to drag Zac’s ass out of bed every day.

“‘S’enough time for me if it’s enough for you,” he said, grinning up at me. I kissed his nose, then his cheek, then his lips. Eh, breakfast is overrated anyway.

“Zac, Carrick, breakfast!”

Right on schedule. I chuckled against Zac’s mouth before pulling back.

“At least one of us is gonna have to go, or he won’t shut up,” Zac groaned. I sat up, rubbing his back for a moment.

“Better not keep him waiting.” I stood and offered Zac a hand, pulling him to his feet.

“Yeah yeah, alright,” he sighed. “Mornings make me really wish I liked coffee.”

I laughed as we headed downstairs. It might sound silly, but I’d come to live for moments like these, where we could be totally domestic, like any normal family. It felt good to be home.

 

Zac

It had taken us a while to fall into a routine at home. Most of our first year together wasn’t spent at home at all; we had an album to promote and tours to go on. Even now that we were at home, taking some time off to regroup and work on our beer thing while Carrick recorded his first solo album, we didn’t have a lot of time to ourselves. My two kids and Taylor’s four visited often and kept us all busy. When it was just the three of us and we could stay in bed late, though, it was perfect. So perfect that it took every bit of willpower I had to pull myself out of bed and walk downstairs.

The smell of breakfast cooking helped, though, and it only got stronger the closer we got to the kitchen. We joked that it was safest for Taylor to do most of our cooking, but the truth was that he enjoyed it, too. That was easy to see as he stood over the stove, cooking bacon, sausage and eggs all that the same time like it was the most effortless thing in the world to do.

“Zac, Ca–” He called out again, stopping halfway through as he spun around and saw us standing in the doorway. “Oh. Morning guys.”

There was something odd in his demeanor, but I wasn’t sure what. As much as he liked cooking, he still wasn’t a morning person, and so I chalked it up to that as I plucked a piece of bacon from the plate Taylor had sat at my spot on the island. He placed a glass of orange juice and the newspaper next to it, creating the perfect little domestic vignette.

Carrick speared a sausage and gave Taylor a rather pointed smirk as he took a bite from it. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the perfect domestic scene. We were still us, after all. It might have been a little twisted and more than a little abnormal, but I couldn’t imagine any other life.

“So…” Taylor said, nudging food around his plate but not eating a bite. “Did you see the paper this morning?”

“I’ve been awake for all of thirty seconds, Tay,” I replied. There was something serious in his expression, though, so I decided maybe it wasn’t the time to make a joke. Whatever was in the paper, it seemed to have rattled him.

I glanced down at the Tulsa World spread out in front of me, and quickly realized what had Taylor so shaken. On the front page, above the fold, was a headline proclaiming that gay marriage was now legal across the state. The state supreme court, it said, was expected to uphold an earlier court decision to overturn the state ban. I didn’t understand all of the legal details, but I vaguely remembered hearing something about the case before. I just didn’t expect it to turn out so well, not here… not in the bright red heartland of America.

Carrick chuckled, but the sound died off quickly, his head tilted to the side as he stared at me curiously. “What’s up, babe?”

Wordlessly, I nudged the paper toward him with the headline facing him.
He nearly spit out the bite of toast he had taken as he stared at it. His eyebrows grew comically higher and higher on his forehead as he scanned the page. After a moment, he glanced up at Tay. “For real, dude?”

“Mhm,” Taylor replied, grinning.

“Things are really changing, huh?” I remarked, a smile starting to spread across my face. This was no strange, mis-timed April Fools joke from my brother. This was real. “I mean, I know this doesn’t mean everyone… approves… but it’s hard to believe it’s happening here. This is fucking Oklahoma, not like California or something.”

The latter was directed to Carrick, with a bit of a smirk, but his response was an oddly sober nod and a hand placed over mine.

“So… you guys know what that means, right?” Taylor asked softly.

Oh. Of course. Still, the three of us could never make our real relationship legal, for obvious reasons, but this was one step closer to sharing our truth with the world. The whole world. It was a heavy thought, and of course, my reaction had to be a joke.

“Means I could make an honest woman out of him, finally,” I replied.

Carrick swatted at my shoulder, but he was laughing.

“Well, apparently, we could still get married even if we were both women…” I took a deep breath and tried to paste on a serious face so Carrick would know I really meant my next question. “So, I mean, do you wanna? For real?”

His eyes flitted to Taylor, who gave such a small nod that I almost missed it. While the three of us had moved closer and closer to an equal relationship, Taylor was still my brother. He still outranked Carrick in some ways that we couldn’t ever change.

With Tay’s obvious approval, Carrick looked back at me and took a deep breath of his own. He took my hand in his and brushed his thumb over the ring he had given me a year and a half ago in the backyard of my childhood home. “You know this would mean coming a lot closer to being out, right? Like, this is a huge fucking step.”

“I know,” I replied, chewing on my lip as I chose my next words carefully. “And you know, I’m not… I’m not trying to hide anymore. I haven’t been, honestly. Everyone who matters knows, and I think most of the fans have figured it out. Hell, some of them had apparently been hoping for us to get together for years.”

“Yeah,” Carrick replied, chuckling. “Pretty sure they knew before either of us did.”
“It’s your decision, Zac,” Taylor added, then glanced back and forth between the two of us. “But… I think you should. You know, if we.. if we could… But you’ve got the chance now. I think you should take it.”

I nodded, knowing this had to be hard for Taylor, but also not oblivious to how well he was taking the idea that his boyfriend was marrying someone else. I knew I would have to do something major to make this up to him later.

Carrick gave my hand a squeeze, drawing my attention back to him. “So… will you?”

I gave him a big grin. “Thought you’d never ask.”

 

Taylor

We didn’t take very long planning the courthouse wedding; Zac and Carrick had waited long enough already. Carrick called Austin and asked him to fly out from Nashville to be his best man. From what Carrick relayed, he wasn’t remotely surprised. About friggin’ time, he apparently said. We decided to skip the tuxes, opting for just this side of dressy-casual. After some debate, they made the decision to tell our parents; all our mom had to ask was what they wanted for dinner, and what kind of cake Carrick liked best.

Exactly one week later, Zac and Carrick walked into the Tulsa County Courthouse as boyfriends, and walked out a married couple. I took a few pictures for our personal collection, including a touching moment between them when they thought I wasn’t looking. Regardless of their decision whether to go public or not, I had no plans to post that one. Instead, I planned on framing it to place on our mantel. I could practically hear Zac laughing at how cheesy I was, but I knew he would love it just the same.

When we got to our parent’s house, the whole family was there. Zac and Carrick seemed truly touched by our family’s acceptance, and to be honest, so was I. Mac had even found a pair of Lego groom figures to use as a cake topper. Everyone had a laugh about how perfect it was, especially Carrick and Zac. It reminded me of the custom set Carrick had given him for our first Christmas together; I wondered if Zac had ever mentioned that to our younger brother.

When we headed home that night, loaded down with leftover food and cake as well as some heartfelt gifts, I asked Zac if he and Carrick wanted me to post anything.

“You should post that pic you took of the cake topper,” Zac said, grinning. I thought about it, and pulled out my phone to look at the picture. It was nice, but it was missing… something. A few minutes of searching later, and I found the perfect quote to accompany it. I showed Zac, and he nodded in approval.

“Hashtag ‘Team Zarrick,’” Carrick spoke up from the driver’s seat. Zac looked at him and giggled, but with such love that I could practically see the hearts in his eyes. I smiled and turned back to my phone, posting the picture, quote and tag to Instagram.

“I love you,” Zac said. I assumed he was talking to Carrick, but when I looked up, his eyes were on me. My breath caught in my throat as he laced our fingers together. “Seriously, Tay. I don’t know how to thank you for today.”

“I love you too,” I told him. Carrick glanced at me through the rear-view mirror and smiled, mouthing the same three words.

“Home sweet home,” Zac said as we pulled into the driveway. He looked at me and Carrick and smiled. I knew exactly what he meant. It wasn’t about the house; it was us, the three of us. It always had been, and it always would be. We were home.