Isaac
One week.
I had one week to not only fully come to terms with my brothers’ relationship, but help Carrick throw together a wedding for them… all three of them. It was a monumental task, and there were more than a few moments when I wasn’t sure how we were going to pull it off. Even with all the details we could forego–guests, wedding party, mailed invitations–the whole affair seemed like more than two guys like us could logistically pull off. I almost wished we had someone else to help us, but I had no clue who we could possibly turn to, especially when I already felt insane for even being part of this scheme.
One day, though, I made the mistake of letting my wife use my laptop when I had forgotten to close all of my browser’s tabs. Naturally, she had a few questions about just why I was looking at scripts for wedding officiants, and I had no good answers… other than the truth.
I had been sure that would be the end of my marriage, my career and my family, but I had underestimated Nikki. She quickly reminded me that I married a woman who had more than a passing familiarity with my band, and with that came knowledge of certain seedier parts of the fandom.
When she admitted that she had even wondered about Zac and Taylor years ago, before she really got to know them, I knew I’d found exactly the help I needed to make this wedding happen.
All too soon the day itself came, and I was a nervous wreck. Zac and Taylor were lucky they had no clue what was happening later that day, or I was sure they would be, too. While my wonderful wife worked to set up the decorations at our old house, something I didn’t trust myself to do at all, I was left with the task of somehow getting Zac to take a trip across town to said house.
Taylor’s absence in the studio was conspicuous as Zac and I ran through bass guitar parts for one of our new songs. It was no secret, though, that Taylor and I butted heads the most in the studio, so it was easy enough to convince Zac that I wanted to get a little work done without him. When Zac started tinkering with Taylor’s Hammond organ, I saw my window of opportunity opening.
“Hey, don’t we still have that L-100 in storage at the old house?” I asked, trying to act casual as I tuned my guitar. “Wouldn’t it sound better on this song than the B-3? Taylor’s been talking about hauling it out here and setting it up, anyway.”
“Like he could haul it out here on his own,” Zac replied with a snort.
I sat my guitar down carefully on the couch and stood up. “Well, why don’t we take your truck out there and load it up? We’ll pick up lunch or something on the way back.”
Zac was absolutely going to see through me; I had no doubt of that. Everyone knew I was a horrible liar, and the layer of sweat I could feel coating my forehead should have been a dead giveaway that I was hiding something. But to my utter relief, Zac just nodded and stood up.
“Yeah, alright,” he said. With a big grin, he added, “But since you’re making me drive, you get to buy lunch.”
We gathered up our things and headed to the back door, since Zac had parked in the alley that day. I knew I should have said prayers of thanks that my weak ruse had worked, and just left it be at that, but I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut.
Just as we walked outside, I grasped my brother’s arm and said, “Hey, Zac?”
“Yeah?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“It’s just, uh,” I mumbled, wishing I could just shut myself up. I’d learned years ago that I really couldn’t. Once my mouth started running, I was just along for the ride. “Well, you know…. this album. After everything this year, I didn’t really know how it was going to happen or if it was going to happen at all. It’s been pretty crazy, you know? But I’m glad it’s all worked out–not just the album, but everything. It’s been tough for the rest of us, because I don’t think any of us knew what you–all three of you–were going through, so it’s a big adjustment. But seeing how much better things are now, how everything is changing for the better, and how great I think the future is going to be… it’s just a big relief. And I know it’s the cheesy big brother thing to say, but I’m… I’m proud of you guys. You especially. I just wanted you to know that.”
Zac stared blankly at me for a moment, before a puzzled smile spread across his face.
“Sorry, I know that was a lot to just throw at you,” I said, trying to laugh it off. “I guess the more we work on this album, the one that probably just barely happened at all, the more I feel like counting my blessings. And you guys… you guys are two big ones. And hell, I guess Carrick is one now, too.”
“Yeah,” Zac said, still looking a bit confused. “Yeah, he really is.”
As we climbed into Zac’s truck and pulled out onto the street, I could only hope that Zac still felt the same way once he’d seen the surprise Carrick had prepared for him.
Carrick
The whole week leading up to the wedding, I was a nervous wreck. I’d never felt so unlike myself. In between going over the details with Ike, I kept wondering if I was doing the right thing. Would it fix the problems between us, or make them worse? Would Zac, and especially Tay, really want to go through with it? Especially having it sprung on them like this.
I was pretty sure Zac would flip, and I’d probably be paying for it later. I just hoped he’d wait until after the ceremony. Taylor, on the other hand… we’d talked about what was going on between us, but I hadn’t exactly proposed to him. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.
Sure, I didn’t come first in his or Zac’s hearts, and maybe he didn’t come first in mine, but did that mean I cared about him–that I loved him–any less? I realized it really didn’t. I did love him, in a weird way. He was the missing piece, the completion of the circuit.
I just hoped he felt the same way.
I barely slept at all the night before the big day. When my alarm did go off, I felt like I’d just closed my eyes. But I wasn’t the least bit tired. Maybe I was just running off nerves and adrenaline, but as long as that got the job done, it was worth it.
It didn’t take much convincing to drag Tay off early, as long as I promised him Starbucks. I drove around Tulsa aimlessly, waiting for the caffeine to hit his system. Once it did, I pulled the car into a small park… The same one Zac took me to on our first date, I remembered with a smile.
“Um… what are we doing here?” Tay asked, looking around.
“I just wanted to get out of the house for a bit,” I told him, getting out of the car. He stared at me for a minute, then sighed and followed me out. “Sure is nice out this early.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, nodding and sipping his latte. He jumped a little when I took his free hand in mine, but smiled nervously and let me walk him down the path. It was still pretty early, so the area wasn’t too crowded yet. We walked in silence for a while, down the trail that followed the river.
“Tay,” I started, thinking about how to say what I wanted to, without sounding too sappy. He looked up at me expectantly, the morning light making his eyes shine. I smiled, and touched his cheek. He blushed and glanced around quickly but didn’t pull away.
“You know I care about you, right?”
“Of course I do,” he replied, but it sounded so casual, I wondered if he really did. I shook my head and stepped closer, holding his face in both hands. He stared at me in confusion. I leaned forward and kissed him, as gently as I could.
“You know I love you,” I said, quietly. “Right?”
He searched my eyes for a moment. I tried to lay it all out for him, letting him see whatever he wanted. I held my breath; we’d never actually said the words to each other, and even though I was pretty sure I knew how he felt, I couldn’t help being a little afraid of his reaction. After a second his expression softened, and he smiled.
“I know. And you know I… I love you, too,” he said, his voice trembling just a bit. I smiled and kissed him again. I felt him tense, but only for a moment. I pulled back, taking his hand. I was making the right choice. I knew that now.
We walked around for a bit, until the princess complained about being hungry. We hit up the drive through and ate in the car, as I continued driving around. If Tay suspected anything he kept quiet about it, but I was still relatively new to Tulsa, so I guess wanting to sightsee wasn’t that weird. A couple hours later I felt like I’d covered every square mile of Tulsa, but it was close to time anyway.
“Hey Tay, how bout we check out your old house?”
“That’s right, you’ve never been to the MOE house, have you? Sure, we can check it out. We mostly just use it for storage, but we’ve got a lot of old tapes and stuff, it’s pretty neat.”
“Sounds like fun.” I grinned, and headed in the right direction. I casually checked my watch; the ceremony was supposed to take place in an hour, give or take. I just hoped Ike hadn’t had any trouble with Zac. Pretty soon we were there, and I saw Zac’s truck in the driveway.
“Huh… that’s weird,” Tay said, obviously noticing the familiar vehicle. He glanced at me, like he wasn’t sure if he should be suspicious.
“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Ike texted me earlier; said he wanted to talk to you and Zac. Something about the album photoshoot. I think he said your tuxes came in.”
“Oh… right.” He didn’t look like he totally bought it, but he followed me out of the car and into the house anyway.
“Hey,” I said to Zac, who was standing in the hallway. He turned and looked at me, obviously surprised and confused.
“Hey… babe?” He glanced at me, then at Tay, one eyebrow cocked.
“Carrick said Ike wanted to see us about the photoshoot,” Tay explained, and Zac’s other eyebrow went up. He looked at me, a smirk pulling at his lips.
“Did he? He told me he wanted to grab the L-100.”
Oh. Shit.
“Yeah, he mentioned that, too. But he wanted me to bring Tay by. He said your tuxes came in.” I grinned, hoping Zac wouldn’t see through the cover. I regretted not talking to Ike to get our stories straight, but I hadn’t thought it would be that big a deal.
“Right,” Ike said, coming up behind Zac. “Yeah, sorry I forgot to tell you that part.”
“Oh. Okay.” Zac chewed his lip but nodded. He could tell something was up, but with Ike backing me up, he couldn’t tell what.
“Hey, why don’t you go try ‘em on? Bet you’d both look handsome. And hot,” I added, winking at Zac but glancing at Tay, too.
“They’re up in our old room,” Ike said helpfully. Tay and Zac nodded, taking a step towards the stairs.
“Okay, sure,” Tay said, leading the way. Zac shot me a look, but followed his brother anyway.
Once they were upstairs behind the closed door, I grinned at Ike.
“We better get changed too,” he told me. “Nikki’s got everything set up out back. She–well, long story short, she knows, it’s fine.”
“Cool. I always did like her.”
Taylor
I closed the door behind Zac, then looked around the room. Just as we’d been told, there was a pair of tuxedos hung on the closet door. Other than that, though, the room looked the same as it always had. Same bed sheets, pictures on the dresser, a couple of soccer trophies on a shelf… I looked at Zac, and could see the same nostalgic smile I knew I was wearing.
“Wow. Brings back some memories, huh?” He said.
“Sure does.”
I smiled at Zac as he flopped down on the lower half of the bunk bed, where I’d slept for the first half of my life.
“Well, go on. I wanna see how you look, too.” He grinned, nodding towards the tuxes. I blushed a little, something about the way he was watching me, but I started to undress anyway.
“What about you?”
He sighed, but got up and started stripping his own clothes off. “You realize Carrick basically just told us to come in here and get naked?”
“I’d say that’s normal for him,” I chuckled. “Except usually he’d stick around.”
“Huh. Good point. That is unusual for him…” Zac tilted his head in thought as he stepped carefully into the dress pants. Once dressed, I sat on the bed, smiling at Zac.
“Feels kinda weird to be here with you… alone… after everything.” I smirked at him, but it was true. I’d gotten a lot better, but there were still times when I had trouble reconciling my feelings for him as a brother, and as a lover. He let out a snort, leaving his shirt half unbuttoned and sitting next to me.
“So many things in our lives I don’t think we could have imagined back then…”
“I’ll say.” I looked him up and down and sighed. When I laid back, my feet hung off the end of the bed. “Jeez, when did this bed get so short?”
“When you became a freaking giant,” Zac giggled. “So… 1999 or so?”
I laughed, pulling Zac down next to me and wrapping an arm around him. “Yeah… I hated it. Remember how for a while I kept slouching in pictures?”
Zac giggled more as he nodded. “Just drew more attention to it. But you’re the center of attention no matter what. You’d have to, like, get massive plastic surgery to change that.”
“Yeah, well now you’re the center of attention,” I told him, smirking. “At our house, anyway.”
“And you don’t think I planned it that way?” He grinned, then nudged my side. “Now come on, you gotta help me with this bow tie. Someone forgot to order a clip-on.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I sighed, chuckling and helping him to his feet. “One of these days you’re gonna have to learn.”
“Not as long as I’ve got you, I don’t.” He grinned, but held still as I tied the bow tie around his neck carefully. I took a step back and looked him over, and was struck by how beautiful he looked.
“Wow,” I breathed. Zac glanced down at himself nervously, then back up to me.
“What?”
“Nothing, just…” I took a breath, feeling myself blushing again. “You look really handsome.”
“No, I think that would be you.” He took a step closer, running a hand up my chest, but I placed my hand over his, stopping it over my heart. Seeing him dressed so formally, and being dressed the same, was bringing my thoughts into dangerously sentimental territory.
“Just makes me think…” I paused, then let out a sigh. I brushed my fingers against the ring around his neck, the one I’d given him on Christmas morning.
“Think about what?” Zac asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He knew what I meant, he had to; he just wanted to hear me say the words. I bit my lip, feeling my eyes water.
“About… if we could…” I hesitated, letting out a shaky sigh. “Get married.”
“You know that’s never…” Zac stopped himself, letting out a soft sigh. “I mean, maybe if we ran away and changed our names and…”
I frowned, nodding but staring at the floor. “I know…” And I did know. He hadn’t needed to say it.
“But you know we couldn’t just drop everything else, not even… Not even for that. It doesn’t make it less real because it’s not on paper, does it?”
I smiled at him, nodding. “No, you’re right.” It didn’t matter. We had each other; that was the important thing. I closed the distance, pressing our lips together. “Love you.”
“Love you too. And we know that. The world doesn’t need to know it to make it real.”
I nodded, taking a breath and stepping back. “Right,” I said, slipping my jacket on. “So, how do I look?”
Zac eyed me critically, a hand on his chin. “Eh, I guess you’ll do.”
I rolled my eyes, fiddling with my tie. I knew what he meant. “So, should we go show off?”
“I suppose,” Zac sighed, as if it was some great inconvenience. “I’m just surprised Carrick missed out on the nudity; that’s not like him.”
“Speak of the devil,” I said as someone knocked on the door. But when I opened it, Carrick wasn’t standing there–Nikki was. In a formal dress. Holding a pair of boutonnieres, one red, one blue. I blinked, and looked back at Zac, who gave me a shrug; he looked as confused as I felt.
“Nikki?” I said, but she just handed over the flowers and smirked in an odd way before turning and heading back downstairs. I turned to Zac, handing him the blue boutonniere, which I could only assume was for him. “Um… do you have any idea what this is all about?”
“Not unless you guys changed the plan for the video shoot without telling me.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No one told me anything.” I paused, the wheels turning. I remembered the romantic walk Carrick had woken me up so early for. Without Zac. And then randomly decided to bring me here. I sighed heavily, rolling my eyes.
“Carrick,” I said simply.
“Well,” Zac replied, tilting his head, “if he is behind whatever this is, you know we’re better off just going along with it. Wanna do the honors?” he added, holding his boutonniere out to me.
“Sure,” I said, smiling. I didn’t know what Carrick had in mind, and frankly that scared me, but Zac was right; it was best not to fight it. I pinned the flowers to Zac’s lapel, and thought about our previous conversation. “This kinda feels like…” I gave him a shy smile. “Well, you know.”
“Yeah,” Zac answered, grinning and pinning the red flowers on my jacket. “But the last time I pinned one of these on you, well… a lot was different then.”
I looked down and sighed; that was the understatement of the century. But I didn’t want to sour the moment.
“Well, should we see what your crazy boyfriend’s got planned for us?” I asked, and Zac snorted, giving me a nudge.
“Hey, he’s your crazy boyfriend, too.”
“Yeah, well. He’s your fiancee.” I offered Zac my arm; he took it as we left the room.
“And you’re mine. So let’s go, fiancee.”
I blushed more as we left the room; no one was in sight, so I felt safe not letting go until we were downstairs. I didn’t hear any noises from inside, so I headed for the back door, figuring the yard was the next reasonable guess. Once again my eyes were drawn to Zac; he looked so handsome, so happy. I wished I had my camera with me to capture the moment.
“Um… Tay?” Zac said as we stepped out onto the porch, his eyes going wide.
“Yeah?” I followed his gaze, and what I saw stopped me in my tracks. “Um… wow.”
There were flowers everywhere, an aisle of petals leading across the lawn. At the end of the path was a flower-covered archway. Under the arch stood Carrick, and Isaac, both in formal dress. I couldn’t help noticing the boutonniere pinned to Carrick’s lapel, identical to both mine and Zac’s apart from the purple rose. Off to one side of the archway were a trio of tables, one of which held a two-layer cake wrapped in varying shades of blue, red, and violet. The other two were set for a meal, complete with champagne glasses waiting to be filled. I looked to my right, where Nikki stood, holding a basket of rose petals.
A wedding. I was at a wedding.
I glanced at Zac. He looked as shocked as I felt, and possibly more. I glanced at Nikki again; she gave us a wink, then hit play on a stereo perched on the railing. The beginning notes of Elvis’ ‘Love Me’ started playing, and Nikki started walking down the aisle. I looked at Ike and swallowed hard; he gave a reassuring smile and a ‘come on’ gesture.
I was escorting Zac down the aisle. Where his fiancee–one of them, I tried not to think–waited.
“I’m gonna kill him,” Zac muttered. “I’m gonna marry him, and then I’m gonna kill him.”
I chuckled, and offered Zac my arm. He glanced at me as he took it, and together we stepped off the porch.
“And you had no clue about this, right?” he asked me, and I shook my head. It hurt a little that no one had told me, but everyone knew I was horrible at keeping secrets, so it wasn’t that surprising.
“Not a clue,” I told Zac. I swallowed hard, biting my lip as I looked at Carrick. He was grinning wide at us, especially at Zac, and biting his lip. He was even… blushing? “He looks so…”
“Shy,” Zac finished. “It’s weird.”
“I can’t believe Ike’s here, though.”
Zac’s step faltered as realization hit him. “Does that mean… Wait, is he… Ike’s marrying us?”
“I… I guess? That’s… really great.” I tried to smile, tried to be happy for Zac and Carrick. After everything we’d been through, the last thing I wanted to do was ruin such a happy moment with my stupid jealousy. But in the deepest part of my heart, I couldn’t help hurting just a little.
“I’m still gonna kill him,” Zac mumbled, continuing forward. Finally we reached our destination; Nikki stepped off to the side, and I turned to face Zac. I gave his arm a squeeze. There was so much I wanted to say, but now wasn’t the time or place. I was happy for him; I really was. I stepped back and stood next to Nikki, silently praying I could make it through this. Zac stepped up next to Carrick, giving him a stern look that conflicted with the loving smile.
“Uh-uh,” Carrick said suddenly, looking at me. “Get over here.”
I blinked, sure I’d heard him wrong. “Um… I-I’m sorry, what?”
“You heard me.” With a smirk, he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me to Zac’s other side. I looked at Zac, then at Ike, thoroughly confused and shocked.
“Well, now that we’re all here,” Ike began, then pulled a folded stack of papers from his coat pocket.
I looked at Zac, hoping he could make some sense of this. But all he did was shrug, and take my hand and Carrick’s in each of his. I gave another frantic look at each of the three of them, then swallowed hard.
“Surprise?” I heard Carrick say; Zac replied with a snort.
“Yeah, we’ll be talking about this later.”
Ike cleared his throat then, and gave us all a stern, ‘stop talking’ look. When we were sufficiently quiet, he glanced down at his papers.
“Welcome, friends, family and… family. We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Carrick, Zac, and Taylor. You have come here either because you were tricked into it, or because you’ve seen and understand the love these… three… share, and want to offer them your love and support.”
I coughed, practically choking for a second. There was no way I’d heard him correctly. Carrick chuckled and shushed me, and Zac let out a nervous giggle.
How was no one else freaking out about this?
Zac
Taylor looked like he was going to pass out, and I had to admit, I felt the same way. Was this really happening? I knew Carrick was full of surprises, but somehow he had not only convinced Isaac to be okay with this three-way relationship, but to… marry us? All three of us?
As Isaac continued his speech, I was still halfway convinced I was going to wake up and discover that this was all just a dream.
“Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging of all human relationships, as I think at least two of the… grooms… know all too well. It’s not something to take lightly, but neither is it anything that those outside of that relationship can truly understand. It’s a deeply personal thing. Every marriage is different, and this one more so than most. That’s not a judgment, merely a statement of fact. These three boys–men–are probably the only three who could understand each other the way they do. God knows I don’t understand them half the time. But what I do understand is the bond they share, and that’s what counts. That bond, and the love they share, will see this marriage through good times and bad.”
Isaac’s speech to me earlier, about how proud he was of me, was suddenly starting to make more sense. He was still struggling, I could see, but he had obviously done a lot of thinking and come to some interesting conclusions over the… well, I didn’t know how long he’d known about us. I mentally added that to the list of questions I needed to ask Carrick later, then glanced over at Taylor to see how he was holding up.
Judging by the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, not so well. I squeezed his hand, hoping to reassure him that this was all going to be okay. He glanced at me, a tiny smile gracing his lips, then at Carrick, who was more than returning his smile. I didn’t think I had ever seen Carrick look so in love… with both of us.
Isaac cleared his throat, presumably to draw our attention back to him. “Will you, Carrick McGovern Moore Gerety, take these men to be your wedded husbands?”
Carrick looked at Tay, then at me, his face turning oddly serious. “For as long as they’ll have me.”
“So,” I said, giving him a big grin and a nudge, “forever, then?”
“Forever sounds good,” Carrick replied, letting out a soft sigh, almost as though he were relieved at my answer. Maybe this was sudden, after only about six months of dating, but so what? Some part of me, deep inside, had known he was my soulmate–one of them–since the moment I met him. In a way, it had been too long of a wait for this day to finally come.
“Will you, Zachary Walker Hanson, take these men as your wedded husbands?” Isaac gave me a slight smile as he asked.
“Absolutely,” I replied, wasting no time at all and grinning from ear to ear as I said it.
Taylor bit his lip and smiled as Isaac asked, “And will you, Jordan Taylor Hanson, take these men as your wedded husbands?”
He took a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut, then glanced at me and Carrick. “I will.”
“Now, normally, this is the part where we would have some readings and whatnot,” Isaac said. “But I’m sure you guys don’t want me to ramble any more than absolutely necessary. And I know you haven’t all had time to prepare your vows, but I trust you’re good enough at improvising. So why don’t we skip ahead to that part? Carrick, would you like to go first to give my brothers a little time to brainstorm?”
Carrick didn’t miss a beat, but of course, he knew this was going to happen. On the other hand, it wouldn’t surprise me if he were making his vows up on the spot. Still, he seemed full of his usual casual confidence when he turned to my brother and began.
“Taylor. When I met you, you were….” Carrick paused. and chuckled. “You were trouble. It’s almost a shame I never got to find out how much. But you’ve been one of my best friends ever since. You’ve supported me, professionally and personally. And you took care of the one thing, the one person most important to me in the world, when I couldn’t.”
I didn’t have to guess that Carrick meant me, but he still gave me a quick glance just to make sure I knew.
“And when I moved into this whole… situation, maybe it was inevitable that we’d end up feeling more for each other. But I want you to know, those feelings didn’t come out of nowhere. You’re a good person, who’s had some not-so-good stuff happen to you. You deserved so much better. And now, you’re getting it. And I’m glad I can be one of the ones to give it to you.” Carrick paused and smirked, and I couldn’t help doing the same; I was sure he’d planned that little innuendo. After a beat, he continued, “I love you, Tay. Maybe not the same way as Zac, but no less.”
Not surprisingly, Taylor looked like he was going to dissolve into a puddle at any second. I gave his hand one last squeeze before placing both of mine in Carrick’s, giggling a little nervously in anticipation of what he might have to say about me.
“Zac,” he said, taking a deep, slow breath. “I technically met Taylor first; all three of us know that. But what you might not know is that the moment I met you, it was like he didn’t even exist. No offense, Tay. That first day, when we wrote that song together, it was like we’d known each other for years. We already knew how to make each other laugh, how to cheer each other up… how to get under each other’s skin. It just… wasn’t the right time. But I was happy just to be your friend, just to be close to you at all.”
I hadn’t known he’d felt that way at the time. I hadn’t even known I’d felt that way. Sometimes it hurt to think about all the time we had lost, but I had to believe it was all happening exactly the way it was meant to. If we hadn’t had time to grow so close, could Carrick have been so supportive of my relationship with Taylor? If I’d fallen for Carrick first, would I have ever had the chance to be with Tay? I didn’t know the answers to those questions, and that was okay. I didn’t need to know, because the way things were… maybe they weren’t perfect, but I couldn’t imagine any possible way to improve them.
“Over the years I watched you go through a lot. I tried to be everything you needed; a friend to laugh with, a shoulder to cry on. I wanted you to know I’d be there for you through anything. A few months ago, I got the chance to prove it… and then some.” Carrick paused for another deep breath. “It’s been a crazy ride, for all of us. But the important thing is, it brought us together, in ways I’d only ever dreamed of. I love you, Zac. With everything I am. I always have, and I always will.”
Now it was my turn to cry. I blinked away a few tears, then mouthed the words, ‘love you, too,’ not trusting myself to be able to actually speak them out loud.
I heard Taylor’s shaky breath and turned back to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. I was fairly certain I was holding myself up as much as I was him. He was the big sap of the three of us, but all of this was proving to be just a little more than I could handle. And if I was barely making it, I wasn’t sure how Taylor would be able to deliver his vows at all.
As if he’d read my thoughts, Isaac smiled and said, “Umm, Taylor next, I suppose?”
Taylor blinked at him, as though he’d suddenly remembered that our oldest brother was here, too. Then he looked back at me, took a deep breath, and turned toward Carrick.
“Umm… okay. Carrick, we….” Taylor nibbled on his lip, seeming to be lost in thought for a moment. “When I met you, I was in a pretty dark place. That’s no secret. But you… you made it just a little brighter. Every time I saw you, you seemed to have this glow that spread to anyone around you. You have such a love for life, so much passion in you, it’s nearly impossible not to feel it.”
Even though the two of them had seemed to be at odds with each other over the last few months, Taylor was absolutely right. I suppose it took one to know one, but Taylor and Carrick were both the sort of people you don’t meet every day. The kind who can’t help being the center of attention, whether they want it or not. But you can’t hate them for it. Somehow, it makes you love them even more, and you feel like a better person just for being near them.
Taylor glanced down, his eyelashes fluttering. “I can’t really explain when I fell for you. Maybe it was when you moved in… maybe it was even earlier than that, but I just didn’t see it. Either way… I can’t picture my life, our lives, without you now. You’ve become such a part of who we are… of who I am. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I… I love you, Carrick.”
At his last words, a tear fell down Taylor’s flushed cheek, and I just barely resisted the urge to reach up and brush it away.
“Zac,” Taylor said, turning back to me. His body was shaking, and he let out a laugh as a second tear crept down his face. “What can I even say? I’ve known you my whole life. And yet… it wasn’t until I met Sam that I met the real you. It took me a while to connect the two, but there’s no denying how I feel. When I found out who the man I fell in love with really was, it scared me so much. But what scared me the most was the fear that I’d never be able to hold you, to kiss you, to share with you everything we’d talked about and more. Knowing that I get to be with you, every day for the rest of my life… nothing else matters. I love you, Zac. I’m yours. All of me.”
Taylor’s tears were flowing freely now, and I was surprised to even see Carrick wipe a few off his own face. And of course, I was a mess. I wrapped my arms tightly around Taylor and held him to my chest while I tried to compose myself, not trying to hide my sniffles or my own tears. Finally, after what felt like ages, I managed to pry myself away from him.
“Okay,” I said, wiping my eyes. “You guys know I suck at expressing myself with words unless those words are song lyrics. So you’re going to pay for this later, but I’ll try. Here goes nothing…”
Taylor gave me a smile that I supposed was meant to be supportive, and Carrick gave me a little nudge and a chuckle. Knowing they wouldn’t wait for me all day, I decided to dive right in and hope for the best.
“Taylor. I have known you, like you said, literally all of my life. And for all of that time, I’ll be honest, I’ve been closer to you than any of the rest of our siblings. Sorry, Ike. I know you’re not supposed to play favorites, but I guess that’s the least of my sins. And even when things were strained between us, even when we were barely even speaking… you’ve always been my best friend, my idol. I looked up to you. I wanted to be you, and I never felt good enough. I wanted to have everything together, have it all figured out, have a perfect life like you.”
I paused and sighed. These were thoughts I had only scratched the surface of before, always kept somewhat hidden from Taylor. There was no better time to let them all out, I decided.
“Well, I’ve learned in the past year that no one is perfect,” I continued. “And that’s okay. God knows I’m not perfect. I don’t have to be, and you don’t have to be. Perfect would be boring. And I’ve learned that you can’t compare your struggles to anyone else’s, because you never really know the truth. All you can do, if you really love someone, is be there for them and help shoulder their burdens. And I promise you, for the rest of our lives, that’s what I’m gonna do.”
Taylor let out a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob, but the smile on his face assured me that what I had said was good enough. I turned to Carrick.
“Carrick. I haven’t known you for quite as long. I met you when I was newly married and trying to figure out how to be a husband. And you were the only person honest and blunt enough to question what I was doing and why I had chosen that life. Not that I ever listened to you anyway, but now I realize you had ulterior motives.” I gave Carrick a smirk, and he just chuckled, not refuting what I had said at all. “I didn’t know. All that time, I didn’t know how you felt about me, and I was trying so hard to deny what I felt for you. I tried to convince myself it was just some physical thing and wasn’t love. Well, since then I’ve learned that there are so many types of love, all of them real and valid. Even romantic love can come in so many different forms.”
I took a step back so that I could look between the two of them, taking one of each of their hands in my own so that we were all connected.
“I know now that every love is different, and that’s okay. That’s good. Of course I don’t love you both in the same way, but that doesn’t make one of those loves less than the other. Just different. We’re like… we’re like three weird, fucked up puzzle pieces, but it takes all three to fit together and make things right. And the truth is, I wouldn’t have to any other way.”
Carrick squeezed my hand, and Taylor nodded his agreement. Even Isaac seemed touched, his hand reaching up to dab at his eye.
“That’s… umm,” he stuttered out. “Okay. May I have the rings, please?”
Rings? I hoped Carrick had really thought of everything.
“Hope you guys don’t mind,” he said, turning toward Nikki.
She fished something out of the bottom of the flower basket, then held her hand out to Isaac. “Here ya go.”
Isaac quickly handed them over to Carrick. “I’ll let you sort out which one goes where. And if you could all repeat after me, I guess: I give you this ring, as a daily reminder of my love you.”
Carrick took Tay’s hand and placed a ring on his left finger. To my surprise, he blushed a little as he said, “I give you this ring, as a daily reminder of my love for you.”
I cleared my throat and placed my hand over theirs. “What he said.”
Taylor was shaking and crying still, but he managed to collect himself enough to take the ring Carrick held out to him. He slipped it onto my left finger, repeating the same words Carrick had said.
“Same here,” Carrick added, placing his hand on ours the same way I had. The whole thing was a little awkward, and certainly unconventional, but we were making it work somehow.
“Guess that makes this one yours, huh?” I asked, plucking the last ring out of Carrick’s hand. It matched the other two, a plain brushed silver band with stripes of red, blue and purple through the center. Subtle, but the meaning was clear. “I give you this ring, as a daily reminder of my love for you.”
Taylor placed his hand on ours. “Mine as well.”
And that was it. What little walls Carrick had left were gone. He bit his lip as his tears began to flow freely. I grabbed both him and Taylor and held them tightly by the waist, my face in pain from the huge grin spreading across it. It may not have been legal, but this was so, so real, and it was even better than I could have ever dared to dream.
After giving us a moment to at least attempt to collect ourselves–we mostly failed–Isaac cleared his throat. “By the power of your love and commitment, and the power you seem to think I have, I now pronounce you husband, husband and husband! You may now… uh… kiss each other.”
The last was added almost as an afterthought, as though Isaac hadn’t quite considered what he was getting himself into. If he survived this day, I realized we were all three going to owe him for the rest of our lives.
“So,” Carrick said, raising an eyebrow, his trademark smirk replacing the more sincere smile he’d wore all afternoon. “Who do ya want first?”
Taylor stifled a laugh, and I couldn’t resist smirking as well.
“Why do I have to choose?”
“You don’t, Zac,” Taylor replied, blushing. “And you never will.”
Carrick nodded his agreement, and I let out a relieved sigh. Suddenly, ‘You’re My Home’ by Billy Joel began to play, and I realized Isaac had slipped away to turn the stereo back on and probably to give us all some privacy, too.
I squeezed both of their waists and pulled them closer to me. Carrick leaned over and cocked an eyebrow at Taylor. Taylor responded with a smirk that had me a little worried, until they both leaned in and pressed their lips to my cheeks, one on each side.
It felt so right to be between them like that, with both of the men I loved the most right by my side. Taylor was right; I would never have to choose again. But neither would either of them have to be alone. It may not have been what any of us expected, but we were right where we needed to be… together.