Isaac

I was very, very drunk. No, that wasn’t really true, but I wished it was and that was why I kept refilling my glass, adding just a little more bourbon each time. If I were drunk, I would have an excuse for being so confused and seeing things that made no sense at all.

Unfortunately, my tolerance was too high for that, so even though my words were slurred, my mind was still working overtime, synapses firing faster than I could get my mouth to move in response to the strange words Taylor had just said.

“It’s… wha…” I finally managed to stutter out like the lush that I was.

Carrick gave Taylor a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and Zac’s eyes… well, they were the size of saucers. I would have laughed, but it didn’t seem appropriate.

Taylor cleared his throat. “I mean, we trust each other not to invade each other’s privacy. Personal space, all that stuff.”

“Yeah,” I replied, nodding a little. That made sense; after all, I had shared a bachelor pad with Zac many moons ago. “Could get awkward… personal space and all. I mean, what if you walked in on–”

I had said too much. I had said way too much. I may not have been homophobic, but I had no desire to think about my brother having sex with anyone, male or female. He was the one more likely to walk in on me entertaining someone when we lived together, but it was clear that he’d loosened up a bit since getting with Carrick, and their PDA was pretty shocking. It didn’t make me a bad person to feel that way, I thought; I just really, really didn’t need to know more about Zac’s sex life than I already did.

All three of them seemed just as flustered by my remark as I was; their eyes darting around nervously and Taylor’s face turning bright red. Oh god, what if he had walked in on them and I had just dredged up the awful memory?

“Umm, yeah…” Taylor finally choked out, while Zac and Carrick shared a look I didn’t understand.

“Yeah,” I coughed out. “Uh, sorry ‘bout that.”

Carrick gave a soft sigh. “You know, you’re not going to offend me if you mention it.”

“Mention–wha?” My face was burning up, whether from the alcohol or the fact that we really were discussing gay sex in my parents’ house. It didn’t matter that nearly everyone else was asleep, aside from my wife who kept wandering by to check on us but thankfully seemed to miss most of the conversation.

“I mean, we’re all adults here, right?” Carrick asked.

“Uh, yeah…” I took a big gulp of my drink. “We are.”

“Well then?” He asked. “Don’t feel like you have to censor yourself on my account.”

Taylor mumbled something that sounded like, “Lord knows you don’t.”

“It’s just, uh…” I fumbled for the right words to say what I meant without sounding like a close minded idiot. Just an idiot who needed to slow down on the alcohol. “Not really a comfortable subject. No offense.”

“None taken.” Carrick shrugged. “No one’s forcing you to talk about it. Just saying you can if you want.”

“I’d prefer if he didn’t,” Zac hissed.

“Zachary,” Carrick scolded, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. “Now that’s exactly the kind of repression that held you back. If Isaac wants to talk, let him.”

Did I want to talk? I wasn’t sure. This felt like something of a test, to see if I really was as accepting of their relationship as I claimed to be. I was, wasn’t I? They were happy; that was obvious and that was all I ever wanted for my brother. I just didn’t want to hear about his sex life, and he didn’t seem too keen to talk about it, either, no matter how much he had relaxed since coming out.

“I… umm…” Zac stuttered and Taylor muttered something I couldn’t quite make out. When Carrick gave Zac a wink, Zac smiled sweetly at him. “Why don’t you go make me one of those drinks, baby?”

Zac wanted a drink? That was new, too. Taylor seemed just as surprised as I was.

But Carrick just grinned. “Sure thing, babe.”

With a quick kiss to Zac’s forehead, he maneuvered out from under him and sauntered out of the room. Zac give him a sweet but teasing wave as he walked away, and Taylor just buried his face in his hand. A moment later, I heard soft voices from the kitchen–no doubt Carrick charming one member of my family or another.

“So,” I said. “Carrick’s uh… different, isn’t he?”

“Mhm,” Zac agreed, grinning. “He sure is.”

Taylor snorted. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“I can think of a few more ways of putting it…” Zac nearly whispered, still audible enough for me to make out the strange statement.

He was still stretched across the couch, his legs in Taylor’s lap and his feet hanging off the arm of the couch. Taylor squeezed his leg just above the knee, the gesture seeming a bit too… intimate for brothers. Of course, they had always been close enough for people to talk, and even I had heard the rumors. But no matter how strange they acted, they were brothers.

After exchanging a few strange grins with Zac, Taylor shook his head and turned his attention back to me. “Oh, so I took some nice family photos earlier.”
“Family photos?” I echoed, still trying to make sense of their gestures and expressions.

“Yeah,” Carrick replied, suddenly appearing in the doorway with a tall glass of eggnog in his hand. “Had us all lined up in our cheesy Christmas sweaters. Which I love, by the way.”

“The sweaters are kind of a requirement around here,” I replied with a laugh, thinking about the song we’d recorded for Christmas last year. Things had changed a lot since then, but we seemed to be coming back to some sense of normalcy… well, maybe that wasn’t the right word. But things were good, and we were even making more new music lately.

Zac accepted the drink from Carrick and took a delicate sip; he was always more of a smoker than a drinker, and I wondered if he was trying to loosen up enough to handle the direction our conversation had taken. While Zac sipped, Carrick plopped down in his lap and sighed contentedly. Zac just cradled his drink tightly so as not to spill it and wrapped his other arm around Carrick–who, I noticed, seemed to have his arm around Taylor. That was odd.

“Man, this is comfy,” Carrick remarked, prompting Taylor to giggle.

Zac poked him in the side. “Glad one of us is comfy.”

“Hey, now,” Carrick replied, squirming. “Save it for later.”

Taylor snorted, and Zac let out a sound that was uncomfortably between a whimper and a moan.

“Hey, guys, umm,” I stuttered out. “Umm. I’m still here. And so is Taylor.”

Carrick nodded, his face blank. “Uh huh.”

“Just saying…” I swallowed hard. “Might not be the time and place?”

He shrugged, still seeming unaffected. “Hey, I’m just sitting here. Your little brother’s the perv who keeps poking me. Really, Zac? In front of Ike?”

“I didn’t! It wasn’t… he sat on me!” Zac stuttered out, blushing.

“Well, yeah, you wouldn’t move!” Carrick replied as Taylor just snickered. Apparently he wasn’t as bothered by their shameless flirting and innuendo as I thought he would be.

“Well, but–I. Shut up!” Zac pouted.

As Carrick ruffled Zac’s hair, Taylor turned to me and sighed. “I’m sorry. Really.”

“Not your fault,” I replied, shaking my head. “Just uh, never seen this side of Zac before. Ever. At all.”

Taylor chuckled, the gave Zac a serious look. “Will you please move so Carrick can sit down? Please?”

Zac looked over Taylor for a moment, reminding me again of all the talk and rumors about their odd behavior, then finally sighed. Carrick stood, allowing Zac to move; he scooted to the opposite end of the couch from Taylor, then yanked Carrick down to sit in between them.

“Thank you,” Taylor said.

“You’re welcome.”

Carrick just giggled. He squirmed a bit, and I really didn’t want to know where Zac’s hand had vanished to, but I thought I could guess.

“Now, what was it you were saying, before someone was trying to revoke your freedom of speech?” Carrick asked me, giving Zac a pointed look as he did so.

“Umm,” I sputtered out. “I don’t even remember.”

Taylor covered his face with his hand again, but he relaxed somewhat when Carrick began to rub the back of his neck. It was an intimate, seemingly instinctive sort of gesture that would have made more sense if it were directed toward Zac. As for Zac, he didn’t seem to notice or, if he did, he didn’t mind.

“So,” I said, hoping I wasn’t crossing any lines by point out Carrick’s strangeness. “He’s uh, verry… affectionate, isn’t he?”

“Umm… I guess…” Taylor replied, trying to sound as though he hadn’t considered it before, but the blush spreading across his cheeks said otherwise.

Carrick just stretched his other arm across Zac’s shoulders, holding both of my brothers in his long embrace.

“You kind of get used to it after a while,” Taylor continued.

“I guess… I guess you would, yeah,” I replied. So maybe Carrick was just like that. It wasn’t much different from the way people liked to point out how Zac and Taylor stood too close or shared too many inside jokes. It was just the way he was, strange as it may be.

“It’s kind of nice, though.” Taylor smiled. “In a weird way.”

The three of them shared another one of their strange looks, making me feel left out of some secret that I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know. It was hard not to feel as though I were being replaced, especially after all these months of uncertainty about our future as a band. Was our future as best friends, as brothers, endangered, too? I had to remind myself that I wouldn’t feel so jealous if Zac were dating a woman; it was just something about the friendship, the deep connection they shared–all three of them, really–that made me feel excluded. It wasn’t a feeling I liked, and it made me feel guilty.

My thoughts were interrupted by a strange noise that, if I hadn’t known better, I would have described as a purr. Had it come from Taylor? Surely not. Whatever had happened, it made Zac giggle.

“So, umm…” Taylor began, tapping his foot nervously.

“Yes?” I asked, trying to ignore the way Carrick was playing with Taylor’s hair. Maybe that noise had come from Taylor. “So… umm…”

“Yeah?” Taylor replied, utterly distracted.

Zac turned to Carrick and mumbled something that caused Carrick to turn his attentions to him. Taylor took the opportunity to scoot toward the fire again and poke the dying embers. The fire crackled back to life, drowning out most of Zac and Carrick’s mumbled words, but the giggles and wiggling eyebrows were enough for me to get the gist anyway.

“Such a dirty mind…” Carrick muttered just loud enough for me to hear, confirming my suspicions, then nipped at Zac’s lips.

I coughed loudly, and the two of them quickly broke their kiss.

“No offense guys, but… can we tone the PDA down?”

“Sorry,” Carrick said, his sincere smile saying that I hadn’t offended him. “Not trying to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s just, uh…” I fumbled for the right words, “a little strange. And not very Zac-like to be so… so… uh… well, no offense, you’re just usually… more of a prude than this. At least, you used to be.”

Zac frowned. “I also used to be straight. Well, not really.”

“What can I say?” Carrick grinned, while Taylor just snickered. “I bring out the best in him.”

“Well, you do obviously make him happy,” I replied.
“I try.” Carrick gave Zac a smile.

“He really does, though,” Taylor added.

“Yeah,” Zac said, shooting Tay a smile before looking back at Carrick. “He does.”

Tay turned back to the fire, and I cleared my throat. “Well, that’s good. But all the… other stuff… is just kinda weird to see. Not because it’s, you know, two guys. But just because one of them is Zac.”

“What, you guys don’t share everything?” Carrick asked, a smirk on his face.

“Umm… no,” I replied. “Not exactly.”

“Just ex-girlfriends, right?” Zac asked, a smirk on his face as well. We didn’t joke about that very much, but I supposed the eggnog he was still sipping had loosened him up a bit.

“Yeah, umm,” I sputtered out. “Sorry about that?”

Zac laughed. “Yeah, me too. Me fucking too.”

“But you weren’t this, uh… like this… with her. I mean, in front of us and everything.” Although, looking back, perhaps that was because she and I had briefly dated first, before it became obvious that she hadn’t really been all that interested in me anyway and certainly wasn’t interested in any sort of sexual relationship with me.

“There’s a good reason for that,” Zac deadpanned. Of course. He hadn’t been interested in a sexual relationship with her, either, I supposed, although it had certainly taken him a long time to figure that out.

“Maybe because she was an unbelievable cunt?” Taylor mumbled.

To my surprise, Carrick and Zac both laughed at that. When I realized Zac wasn’t offended by that, I remarked, “You said it, not me.”

“I still wish I could’ve been there for that,” Taylor said.

Zac grinned. “Her face was fucking priceless, I swear.”

“What?” I asked, feeling like I was definitely being left out of the joke this time.

“My baby done good,” Carrick answered rubbing Zac’s shoulder and grinning proudly.

“I, umm, may have told Kate how much of a cunt she is,” Zac admitted.

“You… what?!” I gaped at him, then shook my head. “Wow… so that was the big fight, then?”

I had known, of course, that there had been some big blowup between them back in the summer; we were all made uncomfortably aware of that when she abruptly took their kids and ran back to her family. Carrick’s arrival seemed to play into it, although no one but myself seemed willing to express that opinion. How Kate being a cunt–something I wouldn’t have ever said but couldn’t really disagree with–played into that, I wasn’t sure.

“That was… part of it,” Zac answered, glancing at Carrick.

“Oh, I see…” So their relationship had been a part of the fight.

“Yeah…” Carrick replied. “I may have come up in conversation just a tad.”

“I see,” I replied admit Taylor and Zac’s chuckles.

“Apparently I was,” he said, putting the rest of his statement in air quotes that caused him to pull Taylor and Zac closer to him, as his arms were still around them both, “corrupting him.”

Like I said, it hadn’t taken me long to figure out that Kate was too much of a prude for me. She seemed fine for Zac, although I supposed we had all mistaken his unwillingness to face his real sexuality as simply being a bit uptight about sex. That Kate, the woman who constantly nagged him for drinking and smoking, would object to him having a relationship with Carrick… well, that didn’t surprise me at all. Even if he had cheated on her with Carrick–something I wasn’t sure he had done and wasn’t sure I wanted to know–she would of course find some way to not only object to that, but to take the religious high ground, too.

With a snort of laughter, I replied, “That… that sounds exactly like something that bitch would say.”

 

Carrick

For a solid minute, you could hear a pin drop. Tay and Zac stared at Ike, blinking and gawking; I was the first to laugh. Of all the people to call anyone a bitch, Ike wasn’t exactly in the top five.

“So, everyone else thought she was a bitch, too?” Zac asked glumly; Tay pouted, but with a hint of a smile.

“Sorry?”

“Well I did break up with her,” Ike reminded Zac.

“Point taken.”

“So,” Ike said, clearing his throat and directing his attention to me. “You were corrupting him, huh? No offense, but I can kinda see that.”

Tay let out an undignified snort at that. Ike had no idea how bad I was corrupting him… and Taylor.

“Just making life interesting.” I grinned, and Zac let out a giggle. “Anyway, it’s not like he was exactly an angel already.” I smirked at Zac, but he gave me a warning look.

“Um… he wasn’t?” Ike asked, tilting his head. Tay glanced at Zac with an amused smirk, and he turned bright red.

“Well I know he was already a stoner before I met him.”

“We all knew that,” Ike agreed; it was no secret Zac had been the pothead Hanson since his teen years.

“So I take no responsibility for that one, as much as I wish I could.” I paused, letting my smile fall as I thought about Kate’s accusations. “And it’s not like I turned him gay. Hell, I wasn’t even the one to bring it up to him,” I added; Tay cleared his throat in what I assumed was supposed to be a warning.

“No one turned me,” Zac said, looking my way. “Maybe I needed a little help admitting it, but… but…”

“I know babe, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant Kate tried to make it sound that way.”

“Well I’m glad someone made you see it. You know I was happy being your friend, but this…” I smiled at Zac, but also gave Tay a tiny squeeze. He smiled a bit, and I noticed Ike noticing.

“So… you… you and Zac… I mean…” Ike cocked his head to the side, trying to form a complete sentence. “I just thought… you… were the one that… that helped him, uh…”

“Nope. I may have helped him come to terms with it, and be okay with coming out, but he was already thinking about it. Surprised the hell out of me when he told me, actually. Not that he was, just that he was finally admitting it,” I clarified, and Zac pouted adorably.

“Yeah, because it was so obvious to everyone but me, apparently.”

“Don’t feel bad babe. You’re happy now, and that’s what matters.” Tay gave his brother a sympathetic smile, and I gave his shoulders a squeeze, ‘accidentally’ bringing him and Tay closer together. It was just a tiny bit evil. He smiled at me, but also risked a smile at Tay, blushing a little.

“Well, uh, I for one didn’t know… so not that obvious,” Ike spoke up. Zac quickly looked away from Tay, turning towards Ike.

“Thanks?”

“I didn’t know either,” Tay said, leaning his head towards Zac a tiny bit.

“Well yeah, but you still figured it out before I-” Zac snapped his mouth shut, everyone’s eyes going wide. I tried to suppress a snort as Tay shot him a warning look that was probably more obvious than what Zac had actually said.

“What?” Ike asked, looking back and forth between his brothers. “So… wait. I mean, I know you told him first, but…” I looked expectantly at Zac, wondering how he’d get himself out of this.

“Well, I mean,” Tay spoke up. “I came out to Zac first, you know. And he’d told me about his problems with Kate.”

“Yeah,” Ike said, nodding slowly, trying to follow Tay’s logic.

“And I just thought… maybe… I mean I didn’t know know.”

I smirked at Tay, proud of his articulation, and his careful lying by omission; Ike nodded, at least partly satisfied with the explanation.

“That… that kinda makes sense, I guess.” A few tense moments passed, Ike still eying us while Zac squirmed.

“So… yeah… Tay uh, helped me figure out why things were shit with Kate. I’d tried really hard not to uh… think about it before.”

Tay nodded in agreement, probably a little too enthusiastically, but I had a feeling Ike was too buzzed to pick up on it.

“Didn’t wanna admit that was why things weren’t working,” Zac went on. “I mean, other than the fact that she was a massive cunt,” he added, and I laughed thinking back to the argument when he’d called her out.

“That… would be a problem too,” Ike agreed, chuckling. Tay made a sound of agreement, then went back to poking at the fireplace.

“Such a pyro…” I smirked at him, pulling him a little closer. He smiled at me, and Ike tilted his head; apparently he wasn’t buzzed enough to miss that. Oh well.

“Yeah well, I don’t hear you complaining when I cook for you every night,” Tay said, rolling his eyes.

“True, true… I do love it when you feed me.” I loved teasing Tay and making him blush, which of course he did; I heard Zac giggle behind me.

“Well, I like feeding you…” Tay replied, taking even me by surprise.

“And you know I love returning the favor,” I shot back with a wink. We were really pushing it now…

“Zac, um…” Ike coughed loudly, and I glanced back at him. “Is your boyfriend… always this much of a flirt?”

“He’s usually worse,” Zac half-muttered, and Tay snorted, apparently in agreement.

“But.. um… I mean…” Ike stuttered. Here we were, finally getting to it. “It doesn’t… bother you?”

“N-not really…” Zac shrugged.

“It… doesn’t?”

I was feeling pretty ballsy, so I let out a playful snarl at Tay; he giggled and turned a brighter pink.

“I don’t think I could stop him anyway,” Zac said, but he didn’t sound upset about it. Of course the truth was I would stop in an instant if he asked me to, or even if I got the feeling he wanted me to. I hoped he knew that.

But luckily for all of us (except maybe Ike), Zac had given me free reign to be as flirty with Tay as I wanted. And right now, I was having a blast, leaning close to whisper in his ear.

“Have I told you how sexy you are when you bite your lip?”

“Once or twice,” he mumbled, trying to hide his grin, and probably wishing he wasn’t turning bright red.

“Are you… are you sure you’re okay… with them…” Ike was still going on, trying to wrap his head around our situation; I figured there wasn’t any sense in hiding it at this point. I pulled him closer and he leaned his head against me, his hand resting on my knee.

“Um… yeah? I guess?” Zac answered, shrugging.

“Really?” Poor Ike; I almost felt bad for messing with him. I decided to give Zac a break from the interrogation.

“Zac knows I love him,” I said calmly and softly, without taking my eyes off Tay.

“I’m… I’m sure he does… and t-that you do…”

I covered Tay’s hand with mine; we hadn’t talked very often about us, but we’d stopped pretending there wasn’t an us… or at least Tay had. I’d never had a problem with it, as long as Zac didn’t.

“I’m… I’m just gonna…” Ike didn’t bother finishing his sentence, choosing instead to stand up and walk quickly from the room… probably to get another, stronger drink. I turned around to smile at Zac.

“Hey.”

Tay reached over and touched his hand, but Zac pouted.

“Oh, you remembered I’m here?”

“Zac,” I said, frowning and touching his cheek. “You know I love you. And you’re always going to be first in my heart.” I wondered if maybe he wasn’t as okay with Tay and me as I thought, and I worried I’d hurt him. Yeah it’d been fun messing with Ike, and making Tay squirm, but if it upset Zac…

“I know,” he replied with a weak smile. “It’s just… all this with Tay, and in front of Ike…”

“I’m sorry,” Tay said quietly, frowning.

“Zac,” I sighed. “I know this is a little weird. And I know things are kind of… changing. And.. if you want, I’ll leave Tay alone.”

“I didn’t mean…” Zac paused, shaking his head. “I just mean right now. With Ike watching.”

“We both love you, Zac. You know that,” Tay said, giving a smile that looked mostly sincere.

“I know. And I love you both, too.”

I leaned down to give him a kiss. I felt so bad for hurting him, even if he said he was fine.

“So if you want me to back off from Tay, I will.”

“No, you don’t have to do that. Just, lay off while Ike’s watching?”

“Okay babe.” I smiled at Zac, and he looked happier. This whole situation was complicated, to say the least. But I’d meant what I’d said. Zac came first for me, no matter what.

“Really. I’m glad you guys are… getting along so well.”

“I’m glad you’re glad.” I gave him another kiss, then turned back to Tay. I would give him up if it made Zac happy. But that didn’t care about him.

“It’s okay,” Zac said when Tay glanced his way, silently asking permission. When he looked back at me, I kissed him softly, both of us sighing happily.

“I… what?!” Of course Ike would have chosen that exact moment to walk back in. Tay all but jumped back, his eyes wide as saucers. I glanced over, giving a sheepish grin.

“Tay… Carrick… what…”

“So much for not in front of Ike,” I joked, a guilty smirk on my lips.

“Ike, um…” Zac started, but his older brother shook his head, then downed his glass (of straight bourbon, from the look of it) in one go. Poor Tay was pouting, looking a little green.

“Okay,” I sighed, figuring someone had to explain, and neither Zac nor Tay looked up to the job.
“Let’s keep calm, no need to freak out. maybe you should have a seat.”

“Okay,” Ike said numbly, slumping down into his chair.

“I can’t tell you it isn’t what it looks like. Because it is.” Tay looked away finally, staring at the fire; he was biting his lip hard enough to turn the skin white. “It’s okay,” I said quietly to him, rubbing his back a little.

“So… I didn’t just imagine that you kissed Taylor…” Ike said; Tay cringed a little.

“No, you didn’t. I love Zac. With all my heart. And he knows that.” I glanced at Zac, and he nodded. “But, what I’ve realized is that I care about Taylor, too. maybe not as much as I care about Zac, but still a lot.” Tay smiled at me a little; he still looked like a scared bunny, but maybe not as panicked.

“B-but…” Ike started; I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. After a moment he turned to Zac. “And you’re… you’re not… mad?”

“N-no?” Zac answered, shaking his head a little; I reached out to rub his shoulder.

“He knows he will always be first in my heart, by a landslide. And nothing will ever change that.” I tried to smile, but as I thought about what I was saying, I had a feeling I didn’t look as happy as I wanted to.

“I know, baby,” he said, smiling and touching my knee, but his eyes hinting that he knew what I was thinking. I kept my eyes on him, choosing my words carefully.

“The person that comes first, is always going to be more important, more loved, held closer to the heart. And the person that comes in second, he’s not jealous, or sad, or angry.” I hesitated, swallowing hard. I’d never really voiced how I felt about our arrangement, not with this level of honesty; ironic I should be so forthcoming now.

“He’s just happy he places at all,” I finished softly. Zac gave me a sad smile; he understood what I was really saying. I knew he would.

“I… this is… I…” Ike stuttered again. I could only imagine how my words must’ve sounded in the context he knew.

“A little weird?” I finished for him, smirking. “You do know your brothers, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but this is…” He trailed off, and both Tay and Zac tried to stifle their giggles. “And you’re all… okay with this?”

“Yeah,” Zac answered, both he and Tay nodding.

“Yeah, we are,” I agreed.

“Oookay…”

I looked at Tay, giving him a quick kiss, then turned to Zac, kissing him a bit longer; partly to prove how okay with it we all were.

“Like I said,” Tay spoke up, softly. “It’s all about trust.”

“I’m not sure this would even make sense if I was sober…”

“It’s not as complicated as it sounds, really,” I said, my usual smirk back in place.

“Just… love,” Tay added, eloquent as ever. “As long as Zac is happy, that’s all that matters. I’d never want to do anything to hurt him.” If it wasn’t such a sweet sentiment, I’d almost be tempted to call Tay a copycat.

“I know,” Zac said, biting his lip. “And I am happy.”

“I… I’ve had a lot to drink, haven’t I?” Ike stared down at his empty glass, looking a little pale.

“Just a bit.”

“So I should probably not go back for another drink right now.”

“I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable, Ike,” I said. “I really am grateful you’ve accepted me into this family.”

“I’m just… really, really confused.”

“Ike,” Zac said, biting his lip again. I hoped I hadn’t driven some wedge between them.

“Like I said,” I spoke up, hoping to do some damage control. “If you ever want to talk, just talk.”

“I… maybe when I’m sober.” He stood up, swaying a bit.

“I think we’re just gonna crash here, if that’s okay?” Tay asked, looking at me and Zac.

“Yeah,” Zac nodded.

“Hey guys,” Isaac’s wife, Nikki, said as she entered the room, Monroe by her side. “Bedtime, sweetie,” she said to Ike, a somewhat knowing smirk on her lips as she glanced at his empty glass.

“Yeah, s’about that time. Night, guys,” he said to us with a lopsided grin.

“Merry Christmas,” Tay said, smiling and waving at the little one.

“Yeah, merry Christmas, man,” I echoed.

“Merry Christmas, Ike,” Zac chimed in.

“Merry Christmas, guys.” Ike gave the three of us one long look, then nodded and turned back towards his wife and child, following them out of the room.

Once he was out of earshot, we readjusted to a more sleep-comfortable arrangement, Tay reclining his side of the couch, and Zac stretching out across our laps. I pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and spread it out, covering all three of us as much as I could.

“As if we hadn’t already hurt Isaac’s brain enough,” Zac giggled.

“Good thing he didn’t walk in a few seconds earlier,” I pointed out.

“Oh god,” Tay groaned. We all had a bit of a laugh, then quieted down, settling in for the night.

“Night,” I said to Taylor, leaning over to give him a quick kiss. “Sweet dreams, babe,” I added, leaning down to kiss Zac.

“Goodnight, Carrick,” Zac smiled. “But for the record, you have been very naughty this year.”

“Merry Christmas, baby,” Tay said softly, giving Zac a long kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too, baby,” Zac whispered.

It didn’t take them long to fall asleep, but I stayed up a while, just watching them. I’d meant what I’d said before; I knew where I stood. But being here, with Tay and especially with Zac, I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.

“Love you, Zac,” I mouthed, before closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.

 

Previous | Next