Carrick
I’ve always loved Christmas; I grew up with the typical New England scene, snow and all, but since moving west I’d gotten used to a different vibe. Tulsa seemed to be the best of both worlds, and of course spending it with Zac and Tay made it that much better. The big day was only a couple weeks out, so of course the mall was packed. I loved it though–the noise, the chaos. Zac and I were running around like kids, taking in all the decorations, the music, everything. Tay was trying to play the grumpy grump, but I could tell even he was feeling the holiday spirit.
“Oh Carrick,” came my boyfriend’s voice from behind me. “Look what I found.”
I turned around to see him grinning like an idiot, wearing a mistletoe headband. Tay looked over too and chuckled, shaking his head.
“Well now… rules are rules, right?” I gave Zac a smirk, and he giggled.
“Yup. You know I’m all about following the rules.”
I glanced around, more for show than any actual care who was looking, then grabbed Zac and dipped him, kissing him. I held him like that for a solid few seconds, then let him go. It felt good to be able to do that in public; I knew Zac was still getting used to it, but his smile told me how much he loved it.
“You’ll get your turn later,” he said to Tay, who was looking a little red… and green. “How do you feel about mall bathrooms?” He added with a grin, and Tay’s eyes went wide, the red winning out. I laughed and nudged Tay, but he just huffed, turning to the shelf of toys behind him.
“Exhibitionist,” he muttered.
“You love it,” whispered Zac, stepping behind him, dangerously close.
“Yeah, yeah,” his brother sighed, failing to hide his sheepish smirk.
“Aw, someone’s jealous.” I chuckled, stepping closer. “Don’t worry, there’s plenty of me to go around.” I grabbed Tay’s arm and spun him around, catching him off-guard with a kiss. He made the most adorable surprised noise, kind of like a squeak, and Zac giggled.
“We’re so going to get kicked out of this store.”
“Damn nympho,” Tay muttered when I let him go, his face bright red.
“You weren’t complaining about that the other night, as I recall,” Zac reminded him, walking away to pick up a doll.
“Hm.. So Zac, what do you think I should get for Shep?” Tay asked. It was cute how he always tried to change the subject whenever he got too embarrassed. “How about some paint?”
“Yeah,” Zac snorted. “If they’ve got some that will wash off any surface. He is so my son.”
I laughed as I remembered the last time Zac’s kids had visited; poor Taylor had to spend an entire day scrubbing marshmallow fluff off the living room wall. He was a good kid, though; they both were. They called me Uncle Carrick… I liked it.
“Any of these he doesn’t have yet?” I asked, looking at the Lego sets.
“More like any Zac doesn’t have yet,” Tay teased, grinning at his brother.
“Hey, I’m just teaching him to share. They do have some new Star Wars ones out, though… Just saying…” Zac grinned, earning a playful nudge from Tay. “Anyway, I’m sure the kids will love whatever Uncle Tay and… Uncle Carrick… get them.”
I grinned at Zac; the kids were obviously way too young to understand what I really was to their dad, but being included as part of the family felt good. It felt… permanent.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Tay spoke up. “We should take a… family photo.” He turned a little pink, but smiled.
“A family photo?” Zac echoed skeptically. “Like, matching khakis and button down shirts family photo?”
“Nah, it’s gotta be ugly Christmas sweaters,” I said with a grin, and Tay chuckled.
“Could be fun…”
“Like, the three of us?” Zac asked. “Or all the kids, too?”
“Why not both?” Tay and Zac started debating the pros and cons of wrangling half a dozen kids for a photo shoot, while I let my mind wander. I remembered my family making photo greeting cards every year–Mom, Dad, my brothers and me. I wondered what they were doing this year; I made a mental note to call everyone and check in.
“I’m liking the idea of just the three of us, too,” Zac said with a grin. “I mean, what says Christmas like three big flamers in tacky sweaters?”
Tay gave one of his patented exasperated sighs and tried not to smirk, giving Zac a playful shove.
“You’re impossible, you know that?”
“I feel like I’ve been told that before, yes.” He glanced at me and I laughed out loud; I had a feeling I’d told him that once or twice.
“So Carrick,” Tay said, once again shifting gears. “Are you going to visit any of your friends in Cali? Not that… not that I want you to go, I was just… you know, wondering…” He trailed off, staring at the ground and blushing. Sometimes he was just too damn adorable for his own good. I smiled, and wrapped an arm around him.
“They can wait. First Christmas with my boyfriend.” I smiled at Zac and slid my other arm around his shoulders. Tay smiled, leaning against me a bit. I liked getting that kind of reaction from him; even though we weren’t exactly dating, making him smile was still on my daily to-do list.
“So,” Zac said, grinning at both of us. “To the Sears portrait studio now? After I buy that Ariel doll Junia’s been talking about… and those Star Wars Legos…”
“For Shep, right?” Tay chuckled; Zac put on his best innocent face.
“Of course for Shep. What kind of grown man plays with Legos?” We all had a laugh at that, but then I had a genius idea.
“Ooh, Ooh! Can I sit on Santa’s Lap? Huh? Can I?”
Tay just stared at me, one eyebrow cocked, and Zac gave me a suggestive grin.
“If by ‘Santa’ you mean ‘me’, and by ‘sit on his lap’ you mean-”
“Ehem!” Tay cleared his throat loudly, nudging his brother, then turned to me. “You’re not serious, are you…?”
“Oh come on, it’ll be fun! Hey, how about that for our family photo?”
“Yeah,” Zac snorted, grabbing the doll and Lego set. “That’ll look great. Very subtle and classy.” I just rolled my eyes as we waited to be rung up; Tay was usually the buzzkill, but Zac had his moments. But whatever; as soon as we were out of the store I dragged them towards the center of the mall.
“They’re not gonna let us,” Tay sighed.
“Hush, Grinch.” When we finally reached the winter wonderland setup, the line was pretty long; but we weren’t in any hurry today, so I dragged my boyfriend and his boyfriend along and stepped up. The line was slow, but I was in too good of a mood to be pessimistic.
“Tay, you really should learn that if Carrick says he’s gonna do something, he’s gonna do it. It’s easiest to just accept it.”
I glanced back and smiled; I wondered if he was thinking about the bison episode. A group of kids and their tired-looking mom got in line behind us. The kids all looked a little under-the-weather, coughing and sniffling; poor things, I hoped they felt better soon. If Santa was giving out candy canes, I’d give mine to them. I looked around some more, bouncing on my toes.
“I haven’t done this since I was like eight.” I grinned at Zac, and wondered how long it’d been for them. Had they been able to see Santa while on tour? Had he still believed in Santa at the time?
“You know, you scare me a little sometimes,” he said, eyeing me.
“Oh yeah?” I smirked and leaned closer, growling a little. Zac shook his head, but grinned anyway.
“You’re not just gonna get us kicked out; you’re gonna get us banned for life.”
I looked around, then gave Zac a smirk, leaned closer… and pinched Tay’s ass.
“Hey!” he yelped, jumping.
“Yup,” Zac said between giggles. “We’re going to Hell.” A few more minutes went by, and we moved forward a few feet. The music was nice, even if it was mingled with a chorus of coughs and sniffles. Tis the season…
“You know Tay, I was thinking… You should take the family photos.”
“Yeah?” Tay sounded a bit distracted; I followed his gaze to the kids behind us. Poor tykes still looked pretty rough, and the mom wasn’t faring much better.
“Well, I mean you’re a good photographer. And you won’t make it into one of those cheesy photo studio things.”
“Well…” Tay chewed his lip, tilted his head… his usual ‘thinking face’. “I did want to try out that new camera I got last month.”
“See? Perfect opportunity.”
“I’m sure it’ll come out great,” I agreed. From what I’d seen of Tay’s photography, he had some real talent there, too.
“Yeah, well you’re gonna be in jail for molesting Santa,” Zac teased. “So we’ll show you the finished product.”
“Mommy, I don’t feel so good,” one of the kids behind us whined. There was nothing worse than being sick around the holidays; I felt for the kid. Tay glanced at him too, looking a little nervous.
“Yeah,” he said slowly. “Maybe that’d be better than… this…”
“But Taaaaaay….” I pouted. I really didn’t want to leave, especially since we were halfway there.
“Yeah,” Zac agreed, following his brother’s stare. “You know it’s really not a good idea for us to be in such a big crowd anyway.”
I hated it when he had a point. But it was pretty packed, and I knew they didn’t do too well in crowds, Zac especially. I scrunched my nose and pouted, but sighed.
“Alright… You guys owe me one for this though.”
Tay breathed a sigh of relief as we started to move out of the line. We paused as one of the kids started crying suddenly, but an instant later we found out why. Whatever that kid had eaten for the last six hours or so was now soaking the entire front of Tay’s shirt, jeans and shoes.
Tay froze… Zac froze… I froze, not sure if I was about to bust out laughing or barf myself. Zac beat me to it though, cracking up.
The mother launched into a gold-medal-worthy apology, all three kids started wailing; I assured her it was fine, then dragged a still-laughing Zac and a shock-frozen Taylor out of the line.
“Guess we’re going to Sears after all,” Zac managed to get out in between giggles. “Because you are so not getting in my truck with that all over you.”
Tay finally snapped out of it, whining and trying not to breathe through his nose. We turned towards the department store, Taylor grumbling the entire way. I tried not to laugh too much, covering it with a cough… which turned into not so fake of a cough. Uh-oh…
Zac
Ring!
Under any other circumstances, I would have been very, very happy to have a distraction from wrapping Christmas presents with Taylor. Unfortunately, right then, the distraction came in the form of a bell Carrick managed to swipe from our pathetic Christmas tree. I didn’t even know it had bells, since Kate had taken most of the better ornaments, but leave it to my very sick boyfriend to find something he could use to keep us at his beck and call.
I tossed down the ribbon that wasn’t cooperating with me and groaned. “It’s your turn. I went last time.”
“Fine,” Taylor sighed. “But if he needs his barf bucket emptied, he’s your boyfriend.”
Ring! “Zaaaaaaaac!”
So much for sending Taylor this time.
“What do you need?” Taylor called out, his voice loud enough to carry down the hallway to what should have been his bedroom, or the guest room, but was now Carrick’s sick room.
“I need my Zaccy!” Carrick called back, and I thought I could actually hear him pouting.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I grumbled, but nevertheless stood up and walked down the hallway to the quarantine ward. I could feel Taylor following behind me, even though he hadn’t been summoned.
As soon as I walked into the room, Carrick gave me his most pathetic puppy dog eyes. “Can you pack me a bowl? Please?”
“Really?” Taylor asked, sighing. “You want to smoke now?”
“What? It helps,” Carrick replied. Turning back to me and turning on the pathetic charm again, he added, “Please, baby? I’ll share…”
He did have something of a point; pot did help ease nausea, and given the fact that Carrick had picked up a gnarly stomach bug from one of the little brats at the mall, I was sure he was plenty nauseous. He might have been the most pitiful, needy person in the world when he was sick–something I hadn’t experienced before–but I still loved him and wanted him to feel better.
“Anything to make you happy,” I replied, walking over to the nightstand where I was pretty sure he had stashed his, well, stash. Pulling out a baggie and a bowl, I added, very quietly, “And easier to tolerate.”
“Thanks, babe,” he said, once I had sat down next to him and packed the bowl. “Want a hit, Tay?”
“I guess,” Taylor replied with another of his patented long-suffering sighs.
Taylor sat down on Carrick’s other side, and I passed him the bowl. As I watched him pull out his own lighter and take a small, dainty hit, I remarked, “Sharing a bowl with the infected one. It’s a good thing we seem to be immune.”
“With as many kids as we have, we’d probably be immune to West Nile, smallpox and Ebola,” Taylor replied after exhaling a tiny cloud of smoke.
Carrick laughed, then let out a cough. I rubbed his back and replied, “Bird flu. Don’t forget bird flu.”
“Right, sorry,” Taylor said, then took another slightly longer hit.
Carrick took the bowl from Taylor and took a long hit. Still rubbing his back, I asked, “Better?”
“Yeah,” he replied, nodding. “Thanks, babe. Wanna shotgun?”
“I’ll get you another Sprite,” Taylor quickly offered, as though it would be imposing for him to be in the room while Carrick and I kissed. As though he hadn’t been present for–and participated in–worse. Sometimes my brother was just weird.
“Maybe some popsicles, too?” I suggested. I wasn’t stoned enough to have a craving, but the assortment of popsicles Taylor had bought for Carrick had been calling my name for days. With a sheepish grin, I added, “I mean, if Carrick wants one…”
“Sure, I’d love something to suck on,” he said with a wink.
“Right,” Taylor said, rolling his eyes. “Be right back.”
Taylor rushed from the room then, obviously still just a little too uptight for the sort of teasing Carrick and I constantly engaged in. I didn’t think it made him jealous. At least, I hoped it didn’t.
Once he was gone, I turned to Carrick. “So being sick does nothing for your libido, huh?”
“You tell me,” Carrick replied. He took a quick but deep hit on the pipe, then grabbed me by my shirt and crushed our mouths together, passing the smoke into my mouth… followed by his tongue.
I kissed him back, then pulled back somewhat reluctantly. “I think you need to slow down a bit. I might be immune, but I don’t have a deathwish.”
Carrick smirked. “Well, guess I better hurry up and get better, then.”
Taylor walked back in, his arms loaded down with all manner of snacks we hadn’t asked for–a can of Sprite for Carrick, a can of Pepsi, a sleeve of crackers, a bag of butterscotch candies… and a popsicle crammed into his mouth. Around the frozen treat, he mumbled, “Here ya go.”
I tried not to laugh. I really did. But there was just something about Taylor with a phallic object in his mouth. I couldn’t help myself. A loud snort of laughter escaped my mouth, causing Taylor to roll his eyes.
“Ooh, yay!” Carrick exclaimed, yanking all the goodies from Taylor’s arms and eyeing them carefully, like he couldn’t decide where to start.
Taylor ignored Carrick entirely, instead pulling the popsicle from his mouth and sticking his blue tongue out at me.
“Mmm, lemme try… that looks tasty,” I said, pulling his arm toward me so that I could wrap my lips around the popsicle and suck on it. If my motions were a little obscene… well, how could I not take that opportunity to tease Taylor a little?
From the corner of my eye, I noticed Carrick adjusting himself beneath his blankets. Taylor just stared at me, slack-jawed, before finally stuttering out, “I… got you… one…”
I let the popsicle fall from my mouth with a loud pop. “Oh. You can have this one back, then.”
Taylor just stared, while Carrick giggled.
“What’s so funny, huh?” I asked, nudging my boyfriend.
“Oh, just thinking,” he replied. “I might be sick, but Tay isn’t.”
Taylor raised an eyebrow. It took me a moment to catch on to what Carrick was suggesting–he wanted his own private porno, staring none other than myself and Taylor.
“Oh, you are definitely sick,” I replied.
“Come on,” he practically whined. “Favor your dear, poor invalid boyfriend?”
I shook my head. “I think your libido can wait until the rest of you is well. Wouldn’t wanna overload your system right now or anything.”
“Aww,” Carrick pouted, pulling a popsicle from the pile of food in his lap and sucking on it suggestively, no doubt trying to tease me into giving him what he wanted.
“You… are impossible,” Taylor remarked. Turning to me, he said, “You wanted to keep him.”
I ruffled Carrick’s hair, giggling. “Aww, he’s not so bad. Admit it. You like him, too.”
“Yeah, yeah, he’s okay,” Taylor replied, trying not to smirk and mostly failing.
“Aww, you know you love me.” Carrick gave Taylor a wink.
I giggled and curled up closer to Carrick. Mock whispering, loud enough for Taylor to hear, I said, “He’s just too shy to admit it.”
Taylor blushed, but there was a smile on his face that said it all.
“Good thing you’re not,” Carrick said quietly, wrapping his arm around me.
“Nope,” I replied, smiling. “You know I love you. Even though you are a miserable little shit when you’re sick.”
Taylor let out a snort of laughter, but Carrick’s smile fell. For a moment, I wondered if I had somehow managed to hurt his feelings.
“Speaking of which… ‘scuse me,” he said, his face turning just a bit green. He threw back his covers and bolted for the bathroom, and I didn’t have to guess what he was doing in there… because a second later I heard it.
Taylor grimaced and shot me a look. I just shuddered, hoping that just the sound of Carrick tossing his cookies didn’t make me sick, too. Screwing my face up in disgust, I said, “You’re cleaning this one up, Tay.”
“I just hope he makes it to the toilet this time…” Taylor shook his head, then shoved his popsicle back into his mouth.
I shuddered at the memory. Carrick had been a little off after we got back from the mall earlier in the week, but we were all tired from the marathon shopping trip. I didn’t think anything of it until we were sitting at the table, enjoying Taylor’s lasagna, and Carrick suddenly stood up, took a few long strides toward the doorway.. and hurled right there on the linoleum. I joked that he must really hate Taylor’s cooking, but it quickly became clear that he had picked up something at the mall, no doubt from the kid who barfed all over Tay.
I shook my head to wipe the memory away, then picked up the last popsicle, peeled off the wrapping and gave it a few licks. “Can you imagine if we had all gotten sick?”
Taylor paused, popsicle dangling from his mouth. “No. And I don’t want to.”
I watched Taylor, sure that he had no idea how sexual he made eating a popsicle look without even trying. I sucked on mine for a moment before speaking again.
“He’s kinda cute, though,” I remarked. At the sound of him puking again, I winced and added, “Well. Sometimes.”
Taylor rolled his eyes and glanced at me, not saying a word.
“Are you happy, though?” I asked, almost hating myself for opening my big mouth and turning a decent moment serious. “I mean… with him being here?”
Taylor seemed lost in thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah… I am. He’s something else, but… I’m glad he’s here.”
“You should tell him that sometime, you know,” I replied softly, noticing the way Taylor was blushing a little. “I think he’d like to know I’m not the only one who… appreciates him.”
Taylor eyed me, chewing on his lip. “Are… are you sure? I mean…”
I nodded. “You think I can’t tell that you two… have like, whatever going on. There’s a thing. You two definitely have a thing.”
“We have a thing?” Taylor asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Ha!” Carrick shouted rather triumphantly from the bathroom, causing Taylor to roll his eyes.
“You two so have a thing.”
“It’s not like… I mean…” Taylor sighed. “I love you.”
“And?” I asked. “I love you, too. But I also love him.”
Taylor glanced down, chewing hard on his lip again. “Maybe… I do… like him. A little.”
“Just a little, huh?” I grinned.
Taylor blushed deeply, his lips twitching like he was trying not to grin, and shrugged.
“It’s okay, you know,” I said, nudging him. “Whatever you feel for him. I mean, unless you hate his guts.”
“You mean the ones he’s currently spewing?” Taylor smirked. “And no, I don’t hate him. I… I’m not sure what to call it, really.”
“Yes, those,” I replied, giggling. “And it’s okay not to know what to call it. I mean, the way I feel for the two of you… it’s not the same, but they’re both… real.”
Taylor seemed to think about that for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. Same here.”
“Same here!” Carrick called out, the words punctuated by a hideous belch.
I scrunched up my face in disgust, then laughed. “Well, he’s just so lovable. How could you resist that?”
“How indeed…”