Taylor
I woke up slowly, the aroma of Sumatra coffee tempting my nostrils. I stretched my sore muscles, smiling when I felt a warm body next to me. My mind still half asleep, I pulled the figure close to me, snuggling. I then felt a set of fingers brushing over my stomach, and I let out a purr; I loved when Zac woke me this way, and I knew he found the noises I made adorable. A pair of lips found my neck then, kissing gently, and a second hand wrapped lightly around my morning erection. I groaned, leaning into the touch and turning to kiss my lover, who gripped me harder. There was something different about the touch, something I couldn’t quite discern, until I pulled back and opened my eyes.
“Carrick!”
“Morning, sexy,” he said with a smirk and a wink. I felt my cheeks burning, but he just laughed, laying back and sighing contentedly. I looked at him for a moment; he seemed so at home here, and I remembered that for a few months this had been his home. The thought made me a little sad, but unexpectedly, for him.
“I’m glad you could make it,” I said quietly.
“I’m sure you are,” he answered with a teasing tone, glancing at me with one eye. “I am too, though,” he went on, sounding almost serious.
“Zac really enjoyed seeing you. He wouldn’t say it, but… I know he missed you. When you left…” I bit my lip, aware I was probably bringing up some less-than-pleasant memories. “Out of curiosity, why did you leave?”
Carrick looked up at me then, with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. I was struck by how beautiful he could be, thoughts I’d forgotten returning briefly.
“He didn’t need me anymore. He needs you. Simple as that.”
“But what about what you need?”
“Tay…” Carrick sighed, closing his eyes again. The confident charade he constantly put on was faltering, and it made my chest ache. “When you love someone…”
“You do what’s best for them,” I finished for him. He looked up at me and nodded. “But Carrick… he does need you. I mean, me and him, we can’t…” I swallowed hard, looking down. I’d had a thought last night as all three of us curled up in bed after our romp, and now it was gaining more weight in my mind.
“There are things I can’t offer him,” I explained. “We’re brothers, and nothing can change that, for good or bad. And there’s a lot that can’t happen because of it. Things he could have… with you.” I took a deep breath and looked at Carrick; he was eying me curiously, running a finger lazily up and down my leg.
“So… what are you suggesting?”
“It’s a little crazy, but hear me out. I think… I think this could be good. For all of us.”
Zac was whistling a merry tune and pouring a couple glasses of orange juice when Carrick and I reached the kitchen. He ran back to the stove to flip a pancake onto an already heaping stack, then turned and smiled at us.
“Morning, Tay.”
“Well, someone’s up early,” Carrick teased.
“I see you dressed for the occasion,” Zac teased back, glancing at Carrick’s boxers and lack of anything else.
“As always,” the tall brunette replied with a wink.
“Here,” Zac said, handing me a steaming espresso. I took a sip and moaned; there was almost nothing better than a double shot to start the day.
“Damn,” Carrick mused, smirking.
“Geez, Tay, you don’t even moan that much when I fuck you,” Zac said, chuckling.
“Nah, only when I do,” Carrick joked, making me blush. Zac just shook his head and turned back to the stove, grabbing the plate of pancakes and grinning proudly.
“So, I made breakfast.”
“One of those new tricks you taught him?” I asked Carrick, who nodded, grinning at my brother.
“Among other things…”
“Thanks, baby,” I said to a blushing Zac as he handed me a plate of pancakes. He then handed Carrick his own dish, and the three of us sat at the table.
“So, sleep well?” Zac asked, directing the question at Carrick.
“Better than ever,” his friend replied, winking at me.
“And you?” I asked my brother.
“Yeah, did we wear you out?” Carrick said, poking Zac’s arm with a fork.
“Me? Nope, not at all. You’ll have to try harder next time.” Zac smirked, and I chuckled, thinking about the discussion Carrick and I had upstairs just minutes before.
“Oh believe me,” Carrick said lustily. “We will.”
“O-okay…” Zac stared between us for a second, then busied himself with eating. We all took our first few bites, and to my surprise, it was delicious.
“Wow, these are actually… good.”
Carrick snorted, but Zac pouted, and I regretted my choice of words.
“What?” he asked indignantly. “You were expecting shit?”
“Oh, I didn’t mean…” I frowned, kicking myself for hurting his feelings. “I’m sorry Zac, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know, I know,” he laughed, and Carrick chuckled.
“Shoulda seen the first time he tried.”
“I got more of the batter on you than in the pan,” Zac said with a laugh.
“Had plenty of fun cleaning it up, though.” Carrick gave him a lusty smirk, and I raised an eyebrow, curious about the story.
“Um…” Zac blushed, glancing at me; I tried not to laugh, chewing my food slowly.
“And of course,” Carrick went on, “It’s not pancakes without syrup.” He winked at Zac, who giggled, blushing madly and staring at his food.
“Aw,” Carrick said, nudging Zac. “We embarrassed him.”
“Cute when he blushes, isn’t he?” I asked, chuckling. Zac gave a half-hearted snarl, and I laughed lightly.
“Yeah yeah, settle down pup,” Carrick said, rolling his eyes. I snorted, eyes going wide, and Zac stuck his tongue out.
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Pup?” I asked; Carrick grinned, trying not to laugh with his mouth full.
“Apparently that’s how intimidating I am,” Zac explained. “Doesn’t know me very well, does he? He ought to see me when I’m really angry. Right, Tay? Most people never know what hit ‘em.”
My face paled a bit as I remembered the incident with Alex. I didn’t know if Carrick had ever seen that side of my brother, but I doubted it. I’d only ever seen it a few times, and as hot as it was, I wasn’t eager to see a replay any time soon.
“Alright,” Carrick sighed, smirking at Zac. “Who’d you kill?”
“Didn’t kill. Just… nearly maimed.”
I bit my lip and looked away; I really didn’t want to think about that night, or anything regarding a certain douchebag singer ever again. Carrick noticed my reaction, though, and became more concerned.
“Dude, what happened?”
“Alex Fucking Greenwald happened,” Zac growled, and I cringed.
“The fuck?”
“Just had to teach him a lesson,” Zac said, shrugging. I sighed heavily; apparently we were going there, whether I wanted to or not.
“What’d he do,” Carrick demanded, growling.
“Nothing,” I said shortly, in a last-ditch effort to end the conversation.
“Not for lack of trying,” Zac spat. Carrick looked between us, confused, but Zac just went on calmly eating his breakfast.
“He called,” he explained between bites. “Wanted to see Tay. Sent tickets and backstage passes to the offices and everything. So, I went.”
“Oh hell,” Carrick muttered, sensing where things were headed.
“I told you we didn’t have to go,” I said softly, trying to remind Zac that the whole thing had been his idea.
“And I told you we did. And I’m glad we did. So,” Zac went on, turning back to Carrick. “I gave them a little… privacy, so Tay could tell him to back off. And he didn’t back off.”
I cringed again, avoiding both pairs of eyes that I could feel on me.
“Dude,” Carrick said gently. “I’m sorry.”
“So I introduced him to my fist. He barely even got one hit in,” Zac finished, grinning proudly.
“My hero,” I murmured, smiling sadly at him.
“Damn right.”
“About time that douche got what’s coming to him,” Carrick chuckled, and we both stared at him. I knew the two of them knew each other, but now I wondered just how well.
“Yeah,” Zac said, eyeing Carrick.
“It’s not what you think,” his friend said, shaking his head. I stared between them, missing something. Zac noticed, and looked at me with an apologetic pout.
“I umm… I may have told him about you and Alex before…”
“Oh.” I blushed a little, but shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“If you say so,” Zac said, biting his lip.
“It’s okay,” I replied, smiling.
“You guys are just too fucking adorable,” Carrick chimed in. “You know that, right?”
“I think I’ve heard that before,” Zac laughed. “But anyway, Alex said he’d run into you recently.”
“Yeah, we were both at this show, talked for a bit. May have mentioned you…”
“Really,” Zac said suspiciously, staring at his friend.
“Not anything about you. Just that I’d seen you; you guys, I mean. Heard the demos, stuff like that.”
“Yeah, he said that,” Zac said, nodding. He bit his lip, glancing at his friend nervously. “Carrick?”
“Yeah babe?” Carrick replied, finishing his juice. The casual way he threw out the pet name made me feel a bit like an outsider, but I tried not to let it bother me too much. Especially considering what he and I had talked about.
“Um… what exactly is it, with you and Alex? If it’s not what I’m thinking.”
I was curious too; I knew they’d already been friends before Zac and I met either of them, but the way Carrick was acting was more than a little suspicious.
“We messed around a few times,” he finally said with a sigh. “Nothing serious.”
“From what I hear, he does that,” Zac spat, and I winced slightly.
“Yeah,” Carrick snorted. “He made it a point to tell me I didn’t mean anything to him. As if he was supposed to mean anything to me; such a fucking narcissist.”
“I’ll say,” I agreed. That sounded exactly like what Alex said to me; I just wish it’d been as easy for me to brush off.
“You know,” Zac spoke up, ”I am totally okay with being the only guy in this room who hasn’t fooled around with Alex Greenwald.” Zac laughed, and Carrick and I joined in; it did sound pretty ridiculous when put that way. “Anyway, this pup taught him a lesson.”
“Good,” Carrick nodded. After all that, I know I needed a serious change of conversation.
“So…” I started; Zac looked over, smiling.
“Yeah?”
“You really like your present, huh?”
“Yup, I do,” he answered, nodding. “Can we keep him?” he added with a giggle. Carrick chuckled, and even I had to stifle a laugh at the irony.
“I promise I’ll feed him and clean up after him,” Zac went on, making Carrick laugh out loud.
“I don’t know, it’s a big responsibility…”
“Aww, he won’t be any trouble. He’s already housebroken, too.”
“Mostly,” Carrick corrected, looking at me. He knew where this was headed as well as I did, and Zac was setting us up perfectly without even trying.
“Yeah, we might need to burn that couch,” Zac said, snorting, and the three of us laughed again.
“You sure you can put up with me?” Carrick asked him, smirking.
“I’ve known you for how long? Six years? And I haven’t killed you yet.”
“Well, if you’re sure you want him… he is kinda used…” I smirked at Carrick, who flipped me off while still grinning at Zac.
“Yeah, but that’s partially my fault,” Zac said, snorting again.
“Oh fine,” I sighed dramatically. “I guess we can keep him around…” Carrick grinned, and Zac beamed at me.
“Aww, Tay! You’re the best boyfriend ever. Always getting me the best toys.”
Carrick snickered, running a hand through Zac’s hair and making him purr. “You won’t regret it.”
Zac
I wasn’t sure when this conversation had gone from joking to serious, but there was something in Carrick’s words that really, really confused me. I turned to look at him, hoping he would explain himself.
He didn’t. He just grinned.
I turned back to Taylor, who shot me an innocent look and said, “What?”
“I’m… not sure,” I replied, my eyes darting back and forth between the two of them. “I feel like I’m missing something?”
Taylor gave a shrug that looked far more like Carrick than like Taylor. “You asked if we could keep him.”
“And he said yes,” Carrick added.
I stared at Taylor. “That… wasn’t a joke?”
Carrick laughed softly, running his fingers through my hair. Taylor just bit his lip and stared at me, which did absolutely nothing to help me make sense of what was happening. I could… keep him? He was going to stay? For good? It was far too amazing to believe.
“Taylor,” I said, staring at him. “Words. Use them.”
He laughed softly. “I meant what I said last night… about… sharing…”
Tay’s words trailed off there, his face turning pink. I was sure he thought that string of words made sense to me, but it didn’t. “Like… what?” I stuttered out.
He sighed, while Carrick chuckled. “He means you, doofus.”
“Sharing me?” I asked. Words and ideas were forming in my mind, but I didn’t trust them. There was no way this was really happening, not after the way things had blown up in all of our faces just a few months ago.
Taylor just nodded.
“I know all the words you guys are saying, but they just don’t make sense,” I said.
Carrick laughed again. “I think you’re gonna need to spell it out for him, Tay.”
Taylor smirked and nodded. After a short pause to collect himself, he grasped my hand softly. “Look. I know you love me. But…” He paused to look at Carrick. ‘I know you love him, too.”
I nodded slowly. Now that the afterglow was gone, it felt even stranger to acknowledge the fact that I was in love with both Taylor and Carrick. It seemed impossible and almost dishonest, but I could no longer deny it.
Carrick stroked my hair as Taylor continued, “He and I talked. And we came to an… understanding.”
“We don’t want to make you choose,” Carrick said. “So we’re not.”
I felt my eyes go wide. Just a few months ago I had been torn between the two of them, and I hadn’t even been allowed to choose. They had both made their own decisions about what was best for me, and I was simply forced to accept their reasoning. Now… now they were still making a decision for me, but it was a very, very different one.
“You’re… are you shitting me?” I asked.
“No, Zac,” Taylor said sincerely. “It actually… makes sense.”
I tilted my head to the side, truly trying to understand how Taylor could arrive at that conclusion. I didn’t disagree, but I also didn’t see how this was going to work… or exactly what it was.
“As much as any of this makes sense,” he added, a sad smile gracing his face. “See, you and I… there are things we can’t… that I can’t offer you. But he can.”
“Yeah, but…” I started to protest, but I knew Taylor was right. That had been why he had ended things between us before, and despite the logic of it, it didn’t stop me from loving him.
Taylor barely even noticed my interruption. “Going out, someone to bring around to the family, stuff like that…”
I snorted. “Carrick at Christmas dinner. Yeah, I can just see that now.”
“Scary, I know,” Taylor replied, and Carrick snorted.
“Tay’s still your alpha,” Carrick added. “Your numero uno.”
“Tay’s my what?”
“Your boyfriend,” Taylor said, the ever-present smile still on his lips. Sometimes I thought there was nothing I could do to make that smile go away, but then I remembered all too well the day we had broken up… and the way he looked when he walked into the control booth and found me with Carrick.
“Well, yeah… of course you are,” I replied.
“But… if you want…” Carrick cut in. “So am I.”
Still remembering how much my relationship with Carrick had strained things between Taylor and I, even though we weren’t together at all then, I ignored his smile and gave him a serious look. “Taylor… are you sure this is okay? I mean… this is…”
“I know…” Taylor said, looking down for a moment, seeming to collect his thoughts. “But it’s no weirder than the rest of our relationship, is it?”
I chuckled softly. “I guess not.”
“It’s up to you,” Carrick said, looking uncharacteristically shy. “I’m happy either way.”
“Yeah, I know you are,” I replied, wiggling my eyebrows.
“You know what I mean, ass.”
“Yeah.” I giggled. I just couldn’t take Carrick seriously, ever, and he knew that. It was a part of why we got along so well, and a part of why it scared me so much when he was serious… like he was very close to being right then.
“You guys…fit,” Taylor said. “You complete each other in a way.”
“And you guys complete each other too, in other ways,” Carrick added.
“Yeah… I guess so.” I nodded.
And it made sense, in a very, very strange way. They were both different, and I was different depending on which of them I was with. I liked the ways I had changed and grown since my relationship with Carrick, changes that I knew he was mostly responsible for, but I also liked being with Taylor. Being with him would always just feel right. The thought of being with both of them… it was starting to feel right, too.
“It’s a little… okay, it’s a lot weird,” Carrick said, then poked me in the side. “But then so are you.”
I pouted. “Yeah, well what does that make you?”
He shook his head “They haven’t come up with a word for it yet.”
“This is your decision, Zac,” Taylor said, pulling my attention back to him.
I nodded soberly. “I know.”
Maybe I should have taken more time to consider all the implications of this strange arrangement, but I didn’t want to. It felt right, and that was enough for me.
“And I think… I think…” I stuttered out, then gave Carrick a tiny smirk. “I wanna keep him.”
For perhaps the first time ever, Carrick gave me a sincere, maybe even loving, smile. It was different, but I decided that I liked it. If keeping him meant I got to see that expression more, then I knew I had made the right decision.
“Yeah?” Carrick asked, evidently not quite sure he believed I had made up my mind.
“Yeah,” I replied, smiling.
Carrick eyed me a for a moment, seeming to scrutinize my face for any sign that I wasn’t certain. But I was, and after a few seconds, he evidently accepted that. He leaned down and gave me a soft kiss. I felt Taylor scooting closer to me and squeezing my hand as I deepened the kiss, running my tongue along Carrick’s bottom lip.
He pulled back and whispered, “I love you, Zac.”
“Love you, too,” I said, no longer afraid or ashamed to admit that it was true.
Taylor tugged on my hand softly to get my attention. “I love you. So very, very much.”
I turned to face him. “And you know I love you, too.”
Taylor kissed me softly, and I was so relieved to feel nothing but sincerity and love in his kiss. I knew he was leaving this decision, the decision to have two boyfriends, up to me, but I also knew how much it could affect him. I didn’t want to do anything to hurt him, and so I was glad not to feel any apprehension in his demeanor.
It might have been an insane choice to make, but I was more and more convinced by the second that it was the right one… for all three of us.