Taylor
I watched Zac leave, wincing as he closed the door hard. I was starting to think maybe this had been a bad idea. Sure, I wanted closure with Alex, but was it really worth the risk? I’d always had a weakness for dark eyes and an evil smirk; it was something he and Zac had in common, and yet there was a world of difference between the two. Where Zac could look seductive, it was always with a playful edge. Alex stared at me like he wanted to devour me, leaving nothing behind when he moved on to his next meal.
“So, what? Couldn’t wait to get me back to the hotel?” There was that look again, and while I knew how wrong it was, I still felt that familiar pull. I knew I was blushing; I hated the fact that after all this time, Alex could still get to me without even trying.
“No, I… Um…” Try as I might, I just couldn’t seem to form thoughts let alone sentences. I took a deep breath and decided to try again, if Alex would let me.
“Yeah? What’s up?” Alex asked casually, leaning closer. I could smell his cologne, and underneath that something deeper, something I knew too well.
“I, um…” I licked my lips unconsciously; it was taking all my strength to concentrate on what I wanted to say. Everything in me was dying to just give in, to submit to the pleasure my body hadn’t yet forgotten.
“Yeah?” Alex was staring at my mouth, looking like a deadly jungle cat readying for the kill.
“Alex, wait.” I backed up a bit; I had to create some physical distance, or else I was afraid of what I might do.
“You never wanted it slow before…”
My eyes fluttered closed as I felt the shadows of touches past, the truth in his statement sparking physical memories of frantic, feverish nights of panting, grasping, clawing at one another until we were both bruised and broken. Or more accurately, until I was bruised and broken; I didn’t think Alex could be. I had to reconnect to reality before I was sucked back into his torrid world.
“I- I can’t.”
“Why not?” Alex asked, pouting; he was good at getting what he wanted, but his attempt at puppy eyes only reminded me of Zac.
“Look, it’s not that I… that I don’t…”
“Oh I know you do.”
I opened my mouth to deny it, but what was the point? It was true that I still wanted him; part of me probably always would, and he knew that. I was an alcoholic, and Alex was the finest of wines, tempting all my senses at once.
“Come on, we both know you want it, so what’s the problem?” Alex purred, moving closer again.
“I… I’m with someone,” I finally managed. I tried to give him an apologetic smile; part of me really was sorry, even though I knew he only cared about his own satisfaction.
“Never stopped you before,” he shot back with a knowing smirk.
“This is different.” I bit my lip, thinking; was it so different? Hadn’t I thought I was in love before? It turned out I’d been lying to myself more than anyone, but I’d had myself pretty well convinced. Still, this had to be different. With Natalie, I’d only been playing the part forced upon me; with Zac, I was risking everything to be with him. That had to count for something.
“Yeah?” Alex urged, his voice taking on a deep sultry tone that gave me goosebumps. “More… satisfying?”
“It’s not… about that.”
“Sure it is. You came to me, because your little wifey couldn’t give you what I could. And now, neither can the next one. They just don’t have what it takes,” he finished, grazing a finger up my leg, stopping just shy of the hardness I’d been desperately trying to ignore. Just in case I didn’t get his meaning. I looked away guiltily; my mind was trying, but my body was betraying me.
“So… now it’s another man, isn’t it?” Alex mused, his voice taking on a tone of realization. My eyes flashed to him as I started to panic. He couldn’t know it was Zac; there was no logical way he could come to that realization, right? I started racking my brain for any clues we might have inadvertently given him. I came up with nothing, and allowed myself to relax a bit.
“Is he good?”
The question was probably meant to make my resolve waver, but instead it strengthened it. I felt myself start to smile; suddenly everything started to become clear, the differences between Zac and Alex looking laughably obvious.
“Yeah, he is. He’s good to me.”
“As good as I was?” Alex’s words still held some sway, albeit diminished. Some people just had that magic quality, personality notwithstanding.
“I can’t… It’s just… different.”
Alex didn’t seem to agree; instead he was blatantly ignoring my pitiful attempt at rejection. He snaked a hand up my thigh, and would have kept going if I hadn’t backed away.
“Alex, don’t.” The quiver in my voice scared me; was I really this weak, this easily swayed?
“Oh, so this guy’s enough?” he asked, a hint of annoyance hidden behind the cockiness. “Enough to keep you from wandering?”
“Yes,” I answered after some hesitation. It wasn’t that I had to think about it; Alex was just too much, too persuasive, too intimidating. Still, I tried to keep my voice firm and sure. “He is.”
“If he’s that good,” Alex whispered, moving close enough for his breath to tickle my ear. “Then why are you alone with me?”
“Alex, stop.” I put a hand on his chest and tried to push him back, but he didn’t budge. My heartbeat quickened; Alex was strong, as he’d proven to me on more than one reluctant night. Letting Zac leave the room was sounding more and more like a recipe for disaster.
“See, I don’t think you really want me to stop.” Alex’s eyes sauntered up and down my body slowly and without shame. I felt myself start to tremble, not with excitement but with fear, as I tried again to physically remove him from my personal space.
“So, you still like it rough?”
“Look, I should go.” My eyes darted to the door and back, mentally begging Zac to come save me.
“Alright,” Alex sighed, leaning back some. “I know when I’m wanted and when I’m not.” That was probably true; he just didn’t usually care. I let out a sigh of relief, but I should have known it was too good to be true.
“But before you go…” Alex grabbed the front of my shirt and before I could resist, pulled me to him and crushed my lips with his own.
I should have reacted immediately; I should have shoved him away and ran for the door. A better man would have. But I’m weak, and his mouth had always been just as persuasive when kissing as when speaking. I didn’t know how many seconds went by before he finally released me from his brazen embrace.
“Just try to tell me I’m not wanted,” he growled, his voice fierce and animalistic and more than a little terrifying. “I dare you.”
“I… I…” I tried one last time to push him back, and my adrenaline must have been pumping because the next thing I knew he was tumbling headfirst into the coffee table. He collided with the glass furniture hard enough to send it crashing to the ground, sending shards flying across the room.
“Alex!” I shouted, and acting on reflex I flew to his side to help him up, spouting apologies. I heard a loud bang, and looked up; Zac was standing in the doorway, eyes wide, chest heaving as he took in the scene before him. Any doubt in my mind that facing Alex alone was a horrendous idea instantly evaporated into thin air. Zac’s jaw hung slack, his enraged gaze focused on Alex.
“What… the fuck?!”
Zac
I knew leaving Taylor alone with Alex was a bad idea. The only reason I agreed to it at all was because Taylor asked. It was difficult to impossible to refuse anything Taylor asked of me. The entire time I stood outside the dressing room door, hurriedly drinking my beer, I felt my worry and dread grow. The second I heard a crash, I burst through the door, fearing the worst. I had no clue what I would find behind that door, but if Taylor was hurt…
I didn’t want to even think about what I might do to Alex.
To my surprise, though, Alex was the one on the floor, laying amidst shards of glass that I realized used to be the coffee table. Taylor leaned over him, concern written all over his face. The scene in front of me was impossible to interpret.
“What… the fuck?” I asked as Taylor noticed me and stared up, wide eyed.
“It’s not… he just…” Taylor stuttered.
Despite his position, Alex smirked. “No, it’s pretty much what it looks like.”
Taylor’s head snapped back to Alex, his eyes widening even further. He pulled himself up to his full height, shooting Alex that characteristic bitchface I would have giggled at under other circumstances. “You… like hell it is.”
“What?” Alex asked, pulling himself to his feet and staring Taylor down in a way that made me feel sick. “Like you didn’t rush to my side just then?”
“I… that doesn’t mean…” Taylor muttered, then looked to me for support.
I just growled. I still had no clue exactly what I was witnessing, except that Taylor clearly was concerned about Alex’s wellbeing. And whatever had happened, it only seemed to amuse Alex.
“Zac… nothing happened,” Taylor said, holding his hands out to me in what looked more like surrender than anything else.
“Sorry you had to see your brother like that, man,” Alex butted in.
Taylor glared at him. “Shut. Up.”
Try as I might, I couldn’t make sense of what had happened, and that only increased my anger. I glanced back and forth between the two of them, trying to understand why they seemed to disagree about recent events and really wishing one of them would tell me the truth. I wanted to trust Taylor, though. Vaguely, I was aware that I was starting to shake with rage.
“Look, Zac, he just fell,” Taylor said. “That’s all.”
“Hey, he could have seen worse…” Alex mumbled, causing Taylor’s eyes to widen. “Like that one time… in the studio, remember?”
Taylor’s face turned bright red. “What the hell, man?”
Alex’s only reply was a smirk. Slowly, I thought I was starting to see what was happening. I believed Taylor. Alex was just stirring the pot, trying to make something that was probably perfectly innocent–or at least not Taylor’s fault–look worse than it really was.
At least, I really hoped that was the case.
“Zac…” Taylor said, panic written all over his face as he glanced back and forth between the two of us. “Seriously. Nothing. Happened.”
“Oh, I believe you,” I replied, still shaking in spite of Taylor’s reassurances. “It’s him I have a problem with.”
“Aww, now… I didn’t turn your big bro gay. Don’t get mad at me,” Alex said.
Taylor sucked in a breath and mumbled, “Oh fuck…”
I didn’t even try to hold back my growl that time. Even though my anger seemed to amuse Alex, there was no containing it. He was pushing buttons that he had absolutely no clue about and definitely no right to push.
“Zac…” Taylor said.
“Taylor,” I replied, my voice so calm it almost scared me. “Do me a favor?”
He cringed. “Y-yeah?”
“Give me one good reason not to punch him. Just one.”
“I–” Taylor said, then paused, his mouth hanging open.
“No reasons? None at all?”
“Just… calm down, okay?” Taylor pleaded. “He’s not worth it.”
“Well, you’re right about that,” I replied. “He is worthless.”
Taylor cringed again, and glanced at Alex. He’d remained uncharacteristically quiet through this entire conversation, probably trying to figure out what was going on. I knew I was running a risk by letting him see how angry I was, but I found that I really didn’t care.
“Hey, guys…” He said, the tiniest hint of a smirk crossing his face. “Look, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll lock the door first.”
“Not helping!” Taylor practically screeched, glaring at him. “Nothing happened! You fell on your ass because I had to shove you off me!”
As soon as the words left his mouth, Taylor slapped a hand over it to shut himself up. I could see the fear in his eyes; he’d just given me a very good reason to punch Alex.
“He what?” I growled.
“He… I…” Taylor stuttered, staring wide eyed at me. “I didn’t…”
“Taylor. I know.”
Taylor just squeaked. Apparently something in my tone of voice made that very not reassuring. But I truly wasn’t angry with him. Well, only a little bit, and that was just because he was covering for that asshole.
“But you still haven’t given me a reason not to bash his head in.”
“Aww, you wouldn’t damage a face this pretty, would you?” Alex asked, the question punctuated by a nervous laugh.
Taylor closed his eyes and slowly covered them with his hands.
“Good idea,” I said. “You probably don’t wanna watch this.”
He immediately uncovered and open his eyes, but I really didn’t care enough to tell him again not to watch. Before he could do anything to stop me, I strode across the room, glass from the broken coffee table crunching under my feet. As soon as I was within range, I swung my fist toward Alex’s face. He had no time to prepare at all, and the punch connected hard with his jaw. From the corner of my eye, I saw Taylor cringe.
“Motherfuck!” Alex spat, reeling backwards from the force of the hit.
I was vaguely aware of Taylor calling my name and telling me to stop, but he seemed rooted on the spot in fear. Alex, too, seemed dumbstruck and hardly fought back at all. Even when he tried, it was obvious that I was stronger, and with the rage coursing through my body, I didn’t even feel the few punches he managed to land.
“Can you call this maniac off?” Alex asked over my shoulder.
Taylor finally snapped back to life and rushed over, grabbing my shoulders and trying to pull me back. “Zac, come on…”
I shrugged him off easily and growled, “I’m. Not. Done.”
He pulled me back out of swinging range, but I could still feel him panicking. I hated to upset him, but it seemed that once I had started, I couldn’t stop myself. How fucking dare Alex lead him on for years, then refuse to give up once Taylor had finally found someone who appreciated him. And it was all just a joke to him, even now? I didn’t fucking think so. I yanked free of Taylor’s grasp and swung at Alex again.
Finally, when it was obvious to me that I’d won the fight, I yanked him up by his collar and held him close to my face. “Now… feel like hitting on my brother again?”
“N-not particularly.”
“Zac… please…” Taylor pleaded, pulling on my shoulder.
“Good. Remember that,” I said to Alex, ignoring Taylor completely.
I turned Alex loose, and he slumped back against the wall, breathing heavily and rubbing his jaw. “What… the fuck…”
“I… I’m sorry, Alex,” Taylor said, giving him an apologetic look. “We’re leaving.”
“You probably should,” Alex replied, “before I have that psycho arrested.”
Taylor groaned, but I wasn’t fazed at all by Alex’s threat. I knew I wasn’t really drunk, barely even tipsy, but it felt like I’d just had an out of body experience. The rage was draining from my body, being replaced by the adrenaline surge that a fight always brings on.
“Come on…” Taylor said, placing his hand gently on my shoulder, as though he was scared of me. I guess I’d given him reason to be, and I hated that.
“Okay,” I said cheerfully. I had no reason to fight with Taylor now.
Taylor looked me over, as if he wasn’t convinced that I was back to normal. After a moment he asked, “Okay?”
“Peachy,” I replied, smiling. It wasn’t even a fake smile. I felt one hundred percent better, especially now that Alex was beating a hasty retreat into the bathroom to lick his wounds.
Taylor smirked and shook his head. “You’re crazy, you know.”
I grinned. “It’s part of my charm.”
Taylor just laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder. I knew we had to look insane to Alex, but I didn’t really care. If he even tried to read between the lines of what he’d seen, I doubted he would believe his conclusions. Who would believe that he’d just been beaten up by his ex-lover’s jealous brother?
Jealous wasn’t really the right word, though. I knew Taylor was mine. I just couldn’t bear the thought of anyone hurting him. I’d always felt protective of Taylor, which was strange for a younger brother, but I had nearly always been the physically stronger one. Now I just wanted him to feel as safe and loved as he made me feel, and if that meant cracking Alex’s skull open, then that’s what I would do.
Once we were safely outside the venue and making our way down the alley to where Taylor had parked his car, hidden behind our studio, I felt the freedom to lean against Taylor. My head resting on his shoulder, I said, “I do feel kinda bad though…”
“What’s wrong?” Taylor asked, concern written on his face as he turned to look at me and came to almost a complete stop. “Did he get you?”
“You said he was stronger than he looked,” I replied. “But that wasn’t even remotely a fair fight.”
Taylor stared at me for a moment more, no doubt just to be sure I was telling the truth and wasn’t injured. I did feel a little sore, but I knew that would pass. After checking me over and letting my words sink in, Taylor smirked.
“I think he might have landed a girly little slap or two,” I added as we approached Taylor’s car.
Taylor snorted, but didn’t say anything. He unlocked the Suburban and we both climbed into it. I couldn’t help giggling as I settled into the passenger seat. I was definitely feeling the adrenaline rush now. I might have been a pothead, but I was a bit of an adrenaline junkie, too. I didn’t start fights just for the hell of it; when I did get into one, though, I poured everything I had into it and it was mostly for the feeling of euphoria that coursed through my body afterward.
“Seriously, though,” Taylor said, snapping me out of my thoughts. “You… didn’t have to do that.”
“Yeah, I did,” I replied, trying to ignore the adorable pout on Tay’s face. “Especially if he was… forcing…”
I trailed off, my words fading into nothing more than a growl. Apparently my anger wasn’t entirely gone.
Taylor shook his head. “He wasn’t… I mean, it wasn’t like forcing forcing…”
I stared blankly at Taylor. What the hell kind of justification was that supposed to be? Taylor cringed, and I realized that he was afraid my anger was going to turn on him. It wasn’t, though.
“Well, he obviously doesn’t have much force in him,” I replied, trying to make a joke out of the pitiful attempt at fighting back that Alex had made.
Taylor sighed, evidently not finding that very funny. “He wasn’t forcing. Just being… insistent.”
“That’s bad enough.”
He shrugged and looked away. I sighed, hating that this was turning into an argument between the two of us. I knew Taylor didn’t like that I had lashed out, but it truly hadn’t caused any harm, besides perhaps a little bit of damage to Alex’s ego. And his face.
After a moment, Taylor turned back to face me, a tiny smile on his face as he touched my cheek. “It was sweet of you.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded.
“I’ve been known to be sweet,” I replied.
“And…” He said, blushing. “And, well… you were kinda…”
I raised an eyebrow, watching curiously as Taylor bit his lip and turned bright red.
“When you were all aggressive like that…” He finally continued, smirking. “It was kind of… sexy.”
I grinned. “Was it?”
“Yeah…” Taylor replied, nodding.
“Why don’t you take me home and show me just how sexy it was?”
“Anything for you,” Taylor replied, giving me a lusty smirk. “My hero.”
I couldn’t stop myself from giggling. “You know that means you’re the damsel in distress?”
Taylor rolled his eyes. “I’m not wearing a dress, Zac.”
“Well, you aren’t right now…”
His eyes snapped back to me, and I just made my most innocent face.
“No, Zac.”
“No?” I pouted. I was really just toying around with him, but it was too much fun to quit. “But you said… anything for me…”
Taylor bit his lip and let out a tiny whimper. For a moment, I thought he was going to give in, but then he just sighed and shook his head, then started the car. “Let’s just go home…”
“Fine,” I replied, still pouting.
Just before he began backing the car out, he shot me a smirk and mumbled, “Maybe for your birthday.”
I just leaned back in my seat and grinned. I knew he was still frustrated with me for taking my anger out on Alex that way, but I had a feeling the night was going to end much better than it had begun. Even if it didn’t end with Taylor wearing a dress.