Taylor
It started out as any typical Friday morning for me and Zac. I made him breakfast in bed; he pulled me down and took me until we were out of breath. We took a shower, which included round two. I made him a fresh batch of breakfast while he took his actual shower. And now we were sitting on the couch, him playing HALO 3, me watching him play and browsing the paper. Things were going fine until my cell phone rang. I looked at it, thinking it would be Isaac or someone from the office. When I saw the number, my blood chilled. I let it ring for a moment, debating whether or not to answer. I glanced nervously at Zac; I knew if I didn’t pick up he’d ask who it was, and I didn’t want to deal with that, either. Finally, I took a breath as I hit the button to accept the call.
“H-hey…”
“Well hey there. Started to think you weren’t gonna answer me.” Alex’s voice filled my ears, smooth and familiar and a little too comforting. Zac looked over, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s… been a while…”
“Yeah, been busy; you know how it is.”
“Yeah…” I gave Zac an uneasy smile, which seemed to appease him. He probably thought it was Natalie; I wished it was, or anyone else for that matter.
“So hey, guess where I am?”
“Um, I don’t know.” I had a feeling I did know, but I was praying I was wrong. I glanced over at Zac again, who’d gone back to his game.
“Mother. Fucking. Tulsa. And there ain’t shit to do here. Seriously, how do you live here without dying of boredom?”
I laughed despite myself; there was just something about Alex that always managed to make me smile, and I hated him for that. Zac looked over again, curious.
“So listen, I’m playing a concert tonight.”
“Um… yeah?” My stomach dropped; I knew what was coming next.
“Well,” Alex said, his voice dripping with intention. “Don’t you wanna see me?”
Even though I’d expected it, Alex’s invitation still caught me off guard. My eyes widened and I coughed a bit, unfortunately drawing Zac’s attention. He mouthed the words ‘Are You Okay’, to which I could only nod unconvincingly.
“Well, um… I’m kind of busy…” Though I was trying to sound vague, my words only caused Zac to put his controller down and watch me closer.
“Aw, you don’t have time for little old me?” I could hear the smug grin through Alex’s words. He knew what effect he had on me; he’d always known, and took advantage of it at every opportunity. I sighed heavily, trying to assert myself.
“It’s just… it’s kind of short notice.”
“Aw, I’m sure you can find time in your schedule to… fit me in.”
“Actually,” I said, trying my best to sound more confident than I felt, “I don’t think I can.”
“What, too busy with the wife and kids? That’s a shame. We could have fun, you know.”
“Nat and I, we, um… We’re not… together.” I wasn’t sure why I was telling him, but it felt wrong to lie about that.
“No shit? About time you came out,” Alex teased. Zac tapped me on the knee, mouthing ‘Who is that?’. I shook my head and stood, pacing the room; I saw him pout, but I’d explain later.
“That’s not why,” I corrected Alex.
“Whatever you say,” Alex sighed, unconvinced. “Well if you’re not on Daddy Duty, then surely you can come see me.”
“I. Can’t.”
“Alright. Whatever, man. Call me if you change your mind.” He was mad at me now, and though it shouldn’t have mattered, it did. I started mentally kicking myself for what I was about to say.
“Hey…”
“Yeah?” he answered, a little too quickly. He knew I was going to cave; of course he knew.
“Um…” I sighed deeply; I needed closure, I told myself. That was all. “Maybe.”
“Knew you’d come around…”
“That’s not a yes,” I replied, rolling my eyes. Of course it was a yes… I just wished he wasn’t so damn sure about it.
“Alright, alright… I’ll let you know when and where. The rest… is up to you.”
“That’s not… The show. That’s it.” I was developing a migraine; I rubbed my eyes, but I knew it wouldn’t do much.
“I can work with that. I’ll have tickets and passes sent to your office. See you soon,” Alex whispered seductively, and I loathed the way his voice made me shiver. I hung up and sat back down, sighing heavily. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Zac glaring.
“Who. Was. That.”
I glanced at Zac briefly, but the heat of his stare made me more uncomfortable than I already felt, and I looked away.
“Alex,” I answered as quietly as possible. Zac growled, and I looked over.
“Tell me you didn’t just agree to see him.”
“I said maybe,” I said after a pause. “Maybe isn’t yes.”
“It’s also not no,” Zac shot back.
“It’s just a concert.” I looked away again, squirming under the heat of Zac’s stare.
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s all it is to him,” Zac spat, and I cringed. Of course he was right.
“I want to tell him… that I’m taken.” That seemed to calm Zac down somewhat.
“Okay,” he sighed. “I’m going with you.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I asked, turning to face him again. I was positive it was a bad idea.
“No. But I don’t give a shit.” Zac’s tone made my eyes widen, and I looked at him nervously.
“Zac, I’ll be fine.”
“I trust you. It’s him I’m worried about. And by ‘worried about,’ I mean I want to rip his throat out.”
My eyes bulged at the vicious threat. I knew Zac had a temper, so it shouldn’t have surprised me, and yet…
“Z-zac…”
“What? You think I won’t?”
“It’s really not that bad,” I said, trying to stem the anger I could see building in my brother.
“Taylor. He hurt you.”
“Not that bad,” I said, but my wince betrayed me. I looked away, ashamed of my vulnerability.
“Don’t lie to me,” Zac said, surprisingly softly.
“It doesn’t matter,” I answered, looking at him and smiling sadly.
“If he wants to try hurting you again, it does. He needs to learn his fucking lesson.”
“It wasn’t his fault.” I shook my head, looking away. It was true; if I hadn’t been so weak, so easy with my body and my heart…
“Don’t,” Zac said firmly, rolling his eyes. “You’re not to blame just because you… you… He’s a douche. End of story.”
“Please, Zac. Just don’t worry about it.” I gave him my best pout, hoping against hope he’d forget the whole thing.
“Too late. I’m going with you; you can’t talk me out of it.
“We don’t have to go.”
“No. You should tell him you’re with someone else and it’s over. And if he doesn’t get the hint, I’ll help him. With my fist.”
“And you don’t think that’ll look at all suspicious?” I asked, changing tactics.
“Defending my brother’s honor from some sketchy dude?”
“Defending your brother’s honor?” I echoed, rolling my eyes. “Yeah, that sounds normal…”
“Whatever,” Zac shrugged. “I’m sure he’ll find some way of pissing me off. I’ve punched people for way less than what he’s done.”
I snorted in response; it’s true my brother’s temper was somewhat legendary in the business.
“Remember that time I almost punched the pilot? Over where to put my guitar?”
“Not your brightest moment,” I laughed, nodding.
“He was being an asshole. And has anyone ever counted how many promoters and shit I’ve punched?”
“Okay, okay,” I said, still chuckling. “I get it; it doesn’t take much to set you off. Or get, for that matter…” I smirked, hoping to veer the subject in a more fun, less violent direction.
“Well you can worry about that after I’m done beating Alex to a pulp.”
I sighed, rolling my eyes; so much for changing the subject.
“What? He’s skinnier than you, I could totally take him.”
“He’s stronger than he looks,” I said half to myself, blushing, and instantly regretted it.
“So. Am. I. And I don’t exactly look weak, do I?” Zac asked, smirking and flexing his muscles. I eyed him, licking my lips and shaking my head. “That’s what I thought. Look, if anything, maybe he’ll be on his best behaviour with your weird little brother hanging around.”
“Maybe,” I said, doubtful.
“So I can watch out for you without having to throw any punches… unfortunately.”
“Zac,” I reprimanded my brother, giving him my best bitch face.
“I’ll only punch him if he really deserves it. Promise.”
“Trouble is, you’re the one that decides if he deserves it or not.”
“Yeah, yeah… but hey, make that face again,” Zac said, grinning. “That was hot.”
Zac
Of all the places in the world that I could possibly be, a concert for Taylor’s ex–if you could even call him that–was probably the last place in the world that I would have chosen. The concert hadn’t even been that bad, which only made me feel worse. Alex had a disgusting sort of charisma and stage presence. If that carried through to the rest of his life, I could almost see how Taylor had gotten tangled up in him. Almost.
Near the end of the show, a security guard walked over and informed us that the band said we were free to go on backstage. I knew “the band” meant Alex, but I tried to keep my mouth shut. As we made our way backstage, it just felt really, really wrong. We’d been to plenty of other band’s concerts at Cain’s, but never before had I felt so much like… like a groupie.
I didn’t like it.
The security guard escorted us backstage, then pointed us toward Alex’s dressing room. I didn’t like that, either. If we were meeting up with him in the green room, it would at least be a little bit public. There was another sort of implication altogether to hanging out in his private dressing room. Taylor shot me a look before knocking on the door. There was definitely a warning in his expression, but I thought I could see a little fear, too. I tried to give him a reassuring look, doing my best to appear calm and collected, even though I was anything but.
“Taylor?” A voice called out after his knock. “Is that you out there?”
He cleared his throat. “Umm, yeah.”
A moment later, the door swung open. “Well, come on… oh, hey Zac.”
Taylor gave him a nervous smile. I didn’t even bother with that much pretense. With just a slight nod, I said, “Hey.”
“Umm, great show tonight,” Taylor said. “You look–umm, you guys sounded great.”
I caught that little slip, and my fists tightened instinctively at my side. I wasn’t angry with Taylor; not really, anyway. His feelings for Alex, which obviously weren’t gone, weren’t his fault. I couldn’t get upset about that, could I? Still, I could feel my blood beginning to boil.
Alex caught that slip, too, I was sure. He gave Taylor the smarmiest smirk I’d ever seen and said, “Yeah… well, come on in. We’ve got plenty of beer and shit, so make yourselves at home.”
The courtesy was obviously directly mostly toward Taylor, but he still stepped back and allowed me to pass as well. Taylor shot me another look that I couldn’t quite read before following Alex into the room.
“Thanks,” Taylor said, grabbing a beer.
I followed behind him and grabbed a beer of my own, but decided it was in my best interests to be quiet. I didn’t even trust myself with small talk.
“So where’s Ike?” Alex asked. “Didn’t he come too? Sorry I couldn’t get tickets for the whole fam.”
Taylor shrugged. “It’s fine. He was busy.”
Alex nodded knowingly, even though I was sure he really had no clue. What the hell did he possibly know about our lives? He fell back onto the couch, lounging across it like a cat, and took a long sip of his beer. “So, how’re things?”
Taylor gulped down half his beer. “Umm… not bad…”
“Easy, tiger,” Alex said, with a chuckle. “I gotta pay for those.”
Taylor smirked, and I bit my tongue to keep myself quiet. Alex wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was flirting with my brother right in front of me.
“You always could chug a beer, though, couldn’t you?” He asked, smirking.
I watched Taylor blush, and it made me feel sick. He took a tiny little sip of his remaining beer, and I opted for chugging mine. Even though I already felt sick, I decided right then that being a little drunk would be the only thing that could possibly make this encounter tolerable. Taylor glanced my way and I gave him my best innocent face.
“Looks like someone took a few lessons from his big bro,” Alex remarked, chuckling.
Taylor blushed more, not meeting either of our eyes. I had no doubt he was thinking about all the other implications of Alex’s words, but at that moment, I didn’t find it very funny.
“Didn’t know you drank, Zac.”
I shrugged. “Guess I do.”
Taylor glanced at me, and I was sure his mind was full of even more questions than Alex’s, but he kept them inside. His eyes flitted back to Alex and he asked, “So, how’ve you been?”
“Oh, you know…” Alex replied. “Recording, traveling… same shit, different day.”
Taylor smiled and nodded. “Yeah, we’re working on a new album.”
“Yeah, I heard,” Alex replied.
“It’s coming along…” Taylor said, pausing slightly to take another sip of his beer, then smiling. “I can’t wait to get back out on the road, though.”
“Yeah… it’s always fun out on the road,” Alex replied. “Seeing new places, new people… old people…”
“Yeah…” Taylor replied, his smiling faltering a bit. I had to fight the urge to reach for his hand or place a reassuring hand on his leg.
“Not that you’re old,” Alex added. “I’m practically ready for the farm compared to you.”
Taylor smirked. Whatever it was in Alex’s last statement that had upset him, that little joke seemed to smooth it over.
“You still look the same, though. Haven’t changed a bit,” Alex said, leaning back and smiling. I could see the way he was looking Taylor over, like he was a piece of meat, and I really wanted to punch that smile right off his face.
“Thanks,” Taylor replied, smiling shyly.
My fist tightened around my empty beer can, crushing it almost unintentionally. The sound seemed to echo around the room, and Taylor eyed me nervously. I ignored him, standing up and walking over to the table full of food and drinks. Alex was right; I really didn’t drink that much, but this night definitely called for it. Taylor was still eying me when I sat back down, and I gave him an innocent look as I popped the top on my second beer.
“S-so, umm…” Taylor stuttered out, trying to drag his attention back to Alex. “The new band… it sounds really good.”
“Yeah?” Alex grinned. “Glad you like. Heard you guys have got some good shit coming out soon, too.”
“Yeah, we’re pretty proud of it,” Taylor replied, nodding and smiling. At any other time, I would have been happy to talk about our new music, too. With things finally settling down in our personal lives, we’d been able to get back into the studio. “It’s gonna be a few months, though.”
Alex nodded. “Well, from what I hear, the demos are sounding great.”
Taylor glanced up, confused.
“Oh, right,” Alex said, smiling. “Ran into Carrick the other day.”
“Oh… right.” Taylor’s face went pale and I really wanted to comfort him, but I wasn’t sure I could right then. I settled for just gulping down half my beer, avoiding Alex’s eyes at all costs.
“Yeah, you know… I’ve known him and Austin since back in the day.”
Taylor stared down at his empty beer and nodded.
“Wasn’t it my party where I introduced you guys to Everybody Else?”
“Umm… I think so,” Taylor replied, his face completely white. I didn’t think Alex really knew what he was doing, but I was pretty sure he’d reminded Taylor of a certain party I’d heard about. That was awkward.
“It’s hard to remember. So many drugs, man…” Alex trailed off with a chuckle.
“Yeah, well…” Taylor replied, clearing his throat. I didn’t really want to know how many of those drugs he’d taken, too. Then again, I would have been a little bit of a hypocrite for being angry about it. I just couldn’t win.
Alex smirked. “Good times.”
“Y-yeah…” Taylor replied, all the color returning to his face at once in the form of a bright red blush. I snorted a little at how cute he looked, and that was a sure sign that I was getting a little tipsy already.
“So listen…” Alex said. “There’s an uh, after party…”
That got Taylor’s attention. I watched him closely, still unable to bring myself to look at Alex’s face.
“Pretty exclusive guest list…” He said, and I didn’t need to look at him to hear the implication in that.
Taylor blushed. “Umm… I d-don’t…”
Alex’s eyes fell on me and I reluctantly looked back at him. With a mock sympathetic look, he said, “Afraid I didn’t get your name on the list. Just Taylor.”
I looked back at Taylor and saw the fear in his eyes as he watched me, waiting for my reaction. I chugged the rest of my beer and crushed the can tightly in my fist, pretending it was Alex’s smug little face. Taylor swallowed hard. I took a long, deep breath then said, “That’s okay.”
“I can’t,” Taylor blurted out, turning his head back toward Alex. “Umm, I mean… the thing is, Zac and I rode over here together… and I can’t just, you know, ditch him…”
“Oh, he’ll be fine,” Alex replied. “He’s a big boy now.”
A low growl filled my ears, and it took me a moment to realize it had actually been me. Where the hell had that come from? Maybe I’d drank those two beers a little quickly; I was a bit of a lightweight, after all.
Taylor looked at me, then back at Alex, and took a deep breath. “Look, Alex… I just… can’t.”
“I’m sure you can, you just…” Alex raised an eyebrow. “Don’t want to?”
“I… umm…” Taylor mumbled, glancing away nervously. The fact that he couldn’t just tell him no and be done with it made me even angrier, but I could see that Alex wasn’t going to make it that simple anyway. I couldn’t totally blame Taylor.
“You don’t have to be home to the wifey,” Alex remarked. “Can’t use that excuse.”
Taylor glanced at me, his eyes unreadable. With an apologetic look, he asked, “Hey, umm… do you think you could just… give us a minute?”
I wanted to say no. I should have said no. But that would have looked strange, I knew. There was no way for me to refuse, to stay protectively by Taylor’s side, without arousing Alex’s suspicion.
“I’ll be right outside,” I said, standing up.
I shot Alex a glare before walking away, grabbing another beer from the table on my way out. I had a feeling I was going to need it.