Zac
I knew that to Taylor, it must have seemed like a spur of the moment decision when I told him I wanted him to move in with me. It wasn’t. I mean, it wasn’t something I realized was actually a possibility until that conversation, but there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I wanted it to happen. While I knew Taylor hadn’t left Natalie because of or for me, there was a part of me that felt responsible for the entire chain of events that lead to the two of them calling it quits. Letting Taylor move into a tiny little condo after everything I’d done… it just wasn’t even something I was willing to consider. He had to live with me.
Thankfully, it hadn’t taken very much persuasion for him to see how great of an idea it was for us to live together. Once we came to that decision, it didn’t take us very long to set things into motion. Only about two weeks later, everything was prepared and he was on his way to my—no, our—house. Naturally, I had left a lot of the work until the last minute. I woke up early that morning to put a final coat of paint on my big surprise, as well as making sure everything else was perfect. There were dishes to be done, socks to be picked up, and lots of air freshener to spray around to cover that lingering hint of weed. It was a lot of work, but Taylor was worth it and more.
I was in the guest bathroom, trying to wash dried paint off my hands, when I heard a knock on the front door. A second later, the door opened with a creak and I heard Taylor’s voice.
“Zac?”
I wiped my hands hurriedly on my pants, not caring if I smeared paint on them since they were already old and worn out, and rushed down the hallway to meet Taylor. There was no doubt in my mind that I looked a little crazy, practically jogging down my own hallway, splattered with red paint, but I didn’t care.
“Hey,” I said, giving Taylor a huge smile as soon as he came into sight.
Taylor looked me up and down, then smirked. “If you were gonna kill the bitch, you shoulda called first.”
My eyes went wide as I took in his words. As soon as their meaning sank in, I doubled over with laughter. I knew it was horribly inappropriate to joke about killing my soon-to-be ex-wife, but I found that I really didn’t care. Once I managed to suck in a few deep breaths and stop laughing, I asked, “Why? You wanted to help?”
“Uh, duh.”
I snorted. “No one died, Tay. It’s paint.”
I expected Taylor to ask what that was all about, but I guess seeing me covered in paint wasn’t really that unusual. With a big smile on his face, he sat his suitcase down and said, “I know. C’mere.”
“Yeah?” I asked, walking over to him, watching his smile widen as I got closer.
“You really sure about this, Zac?”
“Absolutely,” I replied, nodding. There really was no doubt in my mind at all. Living with Taylor just made so much sense, and not just on a practical level. I didn’t totally feel like I deserved the sort of smile Taylor was giving me, but I tried not to shy away from it. I took his hands in mine and said, “I’m absolutely, one hundred percent positive that I want this.”
Taylor looked like he was about to cry, his bottom lip quivering as he dug his teeth into it in an attempt to stop it. There were no tears pooling in his eyes yet, but I knew that was coming soon. I had to do something to distract him, make him laugh.
“I mean, I cleaned,” I said. “If that doesn’t say serious, what does?”
Taylor glanced around the room, taking in the now somewhat unfamiliar surroundings. It hadn’t been exactly clean the last time he was here, and before that, the rooms had been filled with a lot more of the decorations Kate picked out. Those were mostly gone now, and I was gradually making the place my own. I liked finally feeling really comfortable in my own house. After taking in the entire living room, Taylor nodded and smiled.
“Doesn’t even smell like weed anymore,” I pointed out.
Taylor sniffed the air, obviously not quite believing me until he saw—well, smelled—it for himself. With a smirk, he said, “Nice. Is that lavender?”
“Yup,” I replied with a nod. It was silly, but I remembered an interview we’d done earlier in the year when he’d been asked about his favorite scent. Even though we weren’t together at the time, as far as we knew, it stuck with me for some reason. When I went shopping to get the house ready for him to move in, I went a little nuts and bought every lavender candle, stick of incense and air freshener that I could find.
Taylor’s hand brushed across my cheek. His voice soft, betraying all of his emotions, he said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied, smiling. There was so much more I wanted to say to him, to tell him how I really felt, but I still didn’t know quite how to put it all into words. Instead, I decided just to show him. I took a few steps backward and pulled him with me. “Come on. I know we’ll be sharing my room most of the time, but…”
I blushed a little then, mostly out of nervousness. The majority of my shyness with regards to sex was gone, but I was worried that Taylor wouldn’t like what I had done for him.
“I figured you kinda need your own room, too,” I finally managed to say. “So… I fixed up the guest room for you…”
Taylor tilted his head to the side. “Zac…”
“What?”
After a short pause, he smiled. “You didn’t have to do that…”
“Sure I did,” I said, practically dragging him the last few feet down the hallway and opening the guest room door. I gave him a nervous smile as he stepped into the room.
It was still a little messy since I had only just finished painting it minutes before he arrived. The walls had gone from boring beige to a deep red that reminded me of Taylor the second I picked up the paint chip. I wasn’t much of a decorator, so the bedding was a simple dark gray silk. Even I could tell that would look good with the red walls. Other than the bedroom suit and the drop cloths I’d yet to take up, the room was basically empty and ready for Taylor to move in. The Jordan painting leaned against the bed, where I’d hoped it would be safe from stray paint but still on display.
Taylor gasped, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad sign. I couldn’t read his face at all, and it kind of made me want to run and hide or start apologizing for everything.
“You uh…” I stuttered out. “You don’t have to hang the painting if you don’t want…”
He stepped into the room slowly, walking over to the painting and crouching down in front of it. The entire time, he hadn’t looked at me or said a single word, and that only made me even more nervous. I watched as he touched his fingers to the canvas. Tentatively, I took a few steps closer and I saw that he was biting his lip. His eyes were watering, and I really, really hoped that was a good sign.
“Zac… this is…” He glanced around the room, his eyes finally landing on me.
I stared back at him nervously. “Yeah?”
“Thank you,” he said, his eyes still full of tears but happiness as well.
“You’re welcome,” I replied, letting out a breath. “You had me worried for a second there. I thought you didn’t like it.”
Taylor’s mouth fell open. He stood up and walked back over to me. “Zac, are you kidding? I love it. It’s beautiful… all of it.”
I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I smiled through it. They were happy tears, though. Overwhelmed tears. The kind that happen when you just feel so much, so many different emotions at the same time, that your body has to get it all out. So you end up crying, even if it isn’t really appropriate and makes people look at you funny.
“I just though… you deserved it,” I said.
Taylor’s smile fell a bit. “Zac, I…”
“Don’t you even dare tell me you don’t,” I said, giving him a stern look. Whatever he was going to say, I didn’t want to hear it.
He smirked. “Or what?”
I shrugged, but returned his smirk with one of my own that I hoped looked dark and threatening. It must have, because for just a second, Taylor’s eyes widened. That little hint of fear didn’t last long, though, before it was replaced with what I recognized as love.
“Thank you,” he whispered, lacing his fingers with mine.
“You’re welcome,” I replied, smiling. “I didn’t really do anything besides cleaning and getting this room ready… bought new sheets…”
I mumbled that last part, regretting it even as the words came out of my mouth. Taylor’s eyes shifted away from me like it was just an instinct, and his cheeks turned dark pink. I hated that I had reminded him of Carrick. Even though that was in the past, it hadn’t been that long ago, and I knew it still hurt Taylor to think about. My feelings for Carrick hadn’t really gone away. I didn’t think they could. But what I had with Taylor was the present and the future, and that was what mattered right then.
“Umm, and food,” I quickly added, hoping to pull off a little diversion. “I went a little crazy at the grocery store, so… if you’re hungry… I’ve got it covered.”
Taylor laughed lightly, and I was glad to see my attempt at distracting him from thoughts of Carrick had worked for the moment.
“It appears I like shopping,” I said, returning his laugh. “I bought us some really nice wine. At least, I think it’s really nice. It was really expensive.”
Taylor raised an eyebrow. “You bought us wine?”
“…Yeah?”
He grinned and wrapped his arms around me. I waited for a reply, but it seemed that was all I was going to get from him for the moment.
“I did good?” I asked, smiling.
He nodded and kissed my nose. “You did good.”
I couldn’t help giggling; the kiss tickled, and it was just so typically Taylor. Absolutely adorable. I had missed that. He stroked my hair and I couldn’t stop myself from purring. Leaning against him, I said, “I’m glad you’re here…”
Taylor nodded. “Me too.”
“You wanna, umm, get a glass of that wine now?” I asked, suddenly feeling the need for another distraction before things got too emotional. “I could use a little break…”
Taylor glanced at his watch. “At two in the afternoon?”
“Why not?” I asked, ignoring his teasing smirk. “There are no rules in this house. Except no painting with peanut butter.”
His smirk turned into a grin, and then was overtaken by loud laughs. “I’ll try to remember,” he replied.
“Chocolate sauce, though… that’s different,” I said with a devious grin. A little softer, I added, “And I may have bought some today…”
Taylor bit his lip and smirked. “Is that so?”
“Maybe,” I replied with a dismissive shrug. “You’ll have to go see for yourself.”
He leaned in close and whispered in my ear. “Why don’t we start with some wine and see where that leads?”
Before I could answer, he caught my ear between his teeth and nibbled on it. It didn’t matter what he had asked; I was putty in his hands then, willing to do anything he wanted. With a whimper, I barely managed to squeak out my reply.
“Sounds good to me.”
I lead the way to the kitchen, even though Taylor obviously knew where it was. He hadn’t spent that much time in my house, but he still knew the basics. Once we made it to the kitchen, he immediately started throwing open cupboards and poking through the refrigerator.
“Quite the selection… what’d you do, buy the whole store?” He smirked.
“Possibly,” I said, returning his smirk as I plopped down onto one of the bar stools. With a giggle, I added, “Didn’t know what the chef needed.”
“Ooh, I see,” Taylor said, spinning around and giving me a look. He leaned against the counter. “So, you’re really holding me to that ‘cooking and cleaning’ deal, huh?”
“Maybe,” I replied with a shrug. “How do you feel about a French maid uniform?”
Taylor’s eyes went wide and his face paled. Somehow, that reaction only made me giggle. I did feel bad for teasing him about being the girl in the relationship, but sometimes he made it far too easy.
“Umm, how about that wine?” Taylor asked, obviously trying to ignore my giggles.
“Sure,” I replied with a grin. He turned his back on me then, resuming his exploration of the cabinets. “Tay… I was kidding about the French maid thing… mostly…”
He shot me another look, obviously not missing that last word. “Uh huh…”
I figured it was best not to push him any further, so I sat back and watched him trying to find what he was looking for. It didn’t take him long to locate the wine, but he seemed to struggle with the corkscrew. After he’d opened practically every drawer, I decided it was probably time to help him out.
“That drawer there, on the left,” I said, motioning toward one of the few that wasn’t open.
Taylor smiled at me over his shoulder, then opened the drawer in question and quickly located a corkscrew. I had to wonder why I even had one. It wasn’t like Kate ever kept any alcohol in the house. But, I had to remind myself, that didn’t matter. It wasn’t her house anymore.
“Guess I’m gonna have to get used to where everything is…” Taylor remarked.
“Should I label the cabinets?” I asked, giving him a big grin.
Taylor was less than amused. He gave me what can only be described as a bitchface, his lips set in a straight line and his eyes narrowed. It only amused me more.
“I’m sure I have some post it notes here somewhere…”
That seemed to amuse him, the evil look slowly falling off his face. He shook his head, but smiled, as he popped the bottle open and poured two glasses of what I really hoped was good wine.
“And no, you don’t have to do all the cooking and cleaning,” I added, deciding to play at least a little bit nice. “But if you’re expecting anything fancier than frozen pizza, corndogs or a sandwich… well, I’m not quite there yet.”
“You’ll get there,” Taylor said, laughing. “I’m told I’m a good teacher.”
He winked after the last part, and I couldn’t stop myself from grinning. As he handed me my glass, I said, “I can kinda make pancakes… oh, and brownies! I made a mean batch of brownies…”
I took a sip then just to shut myself up. Taylor didn’t need to know the brownies were full of weed and that Carrick and I had eaten them all in one sitting.
“Ah, ah!” Taylor cried. “Hold on!”
I glanced up, trying my best to look innocent and like I wasn’t thinking about stoned sex with Carrick. “…Yes?”
Taylor held his glass out and smiled lovingly at me.
“Oh,” I replied with a smile, realizing that he wanted to make a toast.
“To us?” He said.
I nodded. “To us.”
Taylor gave me a nervous smile, and I felt myself blushing a little as I returned it. I supposed that was as close to a wedding toast as the two of us would ever get. It was a nice new beginning for our relationship, though, even if moving in together was as official as it could ever be.
I watched closely as Taylor took a sip. As soon as the glass left his lips, I asked, “Good? You know I don’t know shit about wine…”
He nodded. “Yeah, actually. Really good.”
“Well, we know who’s doing the shopping,” I replied with a proud grin.
“We can do it together,” Taylor replied, giving me a smirk.
I had to laugh, not just as the slight innuendo, but at the memory it dredged up of one of the trips we’d made a few years prior. Stifling a snort, I asked, “Can we livestream it?”
“Hmm…” Taylor replied, trying to look thoughtful, like he was actually considering it, but mostly just smirking.
“What? That was fun, remember?”
“Yeah, it was…” He replied. “The fans loved it, too. They love the boring, random shit…”
I snorted. “Yeah, I saw what they said about it.”
Taylor raised an eyebrow. “What they said?”
I nodded, trying really hard not to giggle so that I could actually tell him. “That we… we looked like an old married couple. Shopping together like that.”
Taylor’s eyes widened, and for a moment I feared that he wasn’t as amused by that as I was. Luckily, his smirk returned.
“Apparently we have smart fans,” I remarked, laughing and causing Taylor to snort with laughter as well.
“Yeah…” Taylor replied, taking another quick sip as if to shut himself up from commenting further on the fans. I wondered what he was thinking, but decided it wasn’t important and took another sip of my own. Taylor watched me, blushing a little, then said, “So… tonight…”
“Yeah?”
He smiled, a smaller, shy sort of smile compared to the smirk he’d worn seconds before. “For the first time, we get to… well…”
“Actually sleep together?” I offered.
Taylor nodded.
“And wake up together,” I added.
“It’s silly, I know…”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, and once again, I began to worry. It seemed like every little fluctuation in his mood sent me into a panic, and I had a feeling it would be that way for a while. We were still rebuilding what we had, still learning and relearning how to be with each other. I just hoped that I could stay patient and find a way through whatever problems we might have.
Forcing myself to stay calm, I said, “Tay…”
His eyes flickered open.
“What is it?”
“Just… I’m looking forward to it,” he finally replied, giving me a genuine smile.
“Me too,” I replied, then took another sip of my wine.
We were silent for a moment, both of us taking sips of what I had to admit really was a pretty good wine. I’d done a good job shopping after all, even though I’d felt a little overwhelmed at first. I wandered through the grocery store aimlessly, picking up anything and everything that I thought Taylor might like. After a while, it started to be really fun, imagining what it was going to be like when he was really here.
And now he was.
He just looked so right standing there in what was now our kitchen, even if he didn’t know his way around it yet. That would take a while to learn, I supposed, but I thought it was going to be fun, too. A smirk began to creep across my face as I had an idea about how to make it even more fun.
“What?” Taylor asked, tilting his head to the side in what I was sure was confusion at my expression.
I ignored him, though. I was a man on a mission.