Zac
There was no possible way I had heard him right. Carrick did not just call me cute. Did he?
He leaned closer and said, “Cute.”
He did. He called me cute. I was starting to put two and two together in my mind, but I still wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to assume anything about him. Trembling a little, I said, “Carrick?”
“Yeah?” He replied, his eyes sweeping up and down me. If I didn’t know better – and I wasn’t so sure I did anymore – I would have thought he was checking me out. But maybe he was.
“You… are you… umm…” I stuttered out, hoping those few words were enough for him to know what I was asking.
Carrick raised an eyebrow. “Equal opportunity?”
I nodded. “You could put it that way, I guess.”
“I usually do,” he replied.
“I had no idea,” I admitted. I thought back to the day when I had assured Taylor that Carrick and I couldn’t be together because Carrick wasn’t into dudes. Apparently, I really needed to see about getting my gaydar fixed.
He smirked. “I know.”
“I feel like that might have been nice to know.”
“Would it have made a difference?” Carrick asked. “Not knowing didn’t stop you from flirting with me… whether you knew you were doing it or not.”
“I… I wasn’t… oh, for fuck’s sake.” I felt myself blushing and hid my face in my hands. Had I really flirted with him without even knowing I was doing it? How fucking oblivious could one person be?
Carrick laughed, which didn’t make me feel even the tiniest bit better, but the way he rubbed my back a little harder did. “What am I gonna do with you…”
“I really…” I began, looking up but not meeting his eyes. “Really wasn’t trying to flirt with you. If anything, I was trying not to…”
Carrick nodded. “That’s why I played it cool.”
“I swear to god, someday I will say something, anything, that surprises you.”
“Sure you will, kid,” he said, laughing lightly.
I returned his laugh, a little nervously. I could definitely say a few things that would surprise him, but I really, really didn’t want to. Surely there had to be a limit to what even Carrick could accept, and surely fucking my brother would cross that line.
“Anywho, that’s why I played it cool,” he said, giving me a wink. “Didn’t wanna scare you off.”
“So, you knew I was… gay?” I asked, forcing a weak smile.
Carrick seemed to give this serious consideration for a moment. Finally, he replied, “I didn’t know know. More like a hunch.”
“And you couldn’t have let me know?” I laughed a little at that. If only it was really that simple; but then, it kind of was. Wasn’t that basically what Taylor did?
Carrick laughed. “Dude, you would have knocked me out.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” I replied. It wasn’t pleasant to admit, but I knew he was right.
“So… now you know, huh?”
“Yeah,” I replied, nodding slowly.
“How’s it feel?” For all his jokes, Carrick really was a good friend. No one really ever got more than a tiny glimpse of his serious side, but his concern came out in direct little questions like that.
“Really good, actually,” I replied honestly. “Things just make more sense now. It’s kinda nice to tell someone, too..”
I deliberately left out the fact that one other person knew. I did want to tell him about that somehow, but I had a feeling it would take me a while to work up the courage to talk about it. Besides, coming out to Carrick was totally different than how I had accidentally come out to Taylor. This was on my own terms, and it felt really nice that way.
Carrick gave me a smile, still rubbing my back slowly. “I’m honored that you told me, Zac. It means a lot to me.”
“I’m glad you took it so well,” I replied, returning his smile. “I’ve been scared shitless about admitting it.”
He nodded. “It can be scary as hell.”
“I mean, I denied it and fought it for so long… years…” I admitted. “Since before Kate.”
“Yeah?”
“I just had a feeling back then,” I explained. “Something wasn’t right, you know? But I ignored it. And it… it was never a problem again. Not for a long time.”
Carrick sighed. Had I said the wrong thing? I didn’t think so. I supposed it just upset him to know how long I had hidden from myself. Everyone else – well, Taylor and Carrick – seemed so bothered by it, but it was just normal to me.
“I didn’t even…” I began, shocked at myself for even considering admitting this. But he had already called me cute. So what could it hurt? Softly, I continued, “I didn’t even think about another guy, like that, for years. Not until after I was married.”
“Anyone in particular you didn’t think about?” He asked, smirking.
I blushed and looked away. So he had caught my meaning. “Maybe…”
Even without looking at him, I could tell that he was trying not to laugh. As long as he kept stroking my hair like that, I didn’t mind at all. “Anyone I know?”
I let out the tiniest purr, but tensed up as soon as I heard myself. “Umm, I…”
Carrick laughed softly. “You really are just too cute, Zac Hanson.”
“Am I?” I asked, blushing more, and finally turning back to look at him.
He looked me right in the eyes. “Yes. You are.”
“You’re uh…” I said, smiling. “Not too bad, either.”
“I try,” he replied, winking.
I laughed. Was this the flirting he had talked about? It felt like flirting. And I had to admit, it felt nice. Carrick just put me at ease in a way that no one else ever did. Which is why I felt okay admitting the truth to him. “And uh, yeah… I think you might know that guy I wasn’t thinking about…”
“Mhm, that so?” He smirked.
“Yeah,” I replied, nodding. “Apparently I wasn’t very good at hiding it. Flirted with him all the time, or so I’m told.”
He leaned in closer, his hand still in my hair. “Yeah, well, if he flirted back, he must not have minded.”
“I guess not,” I replied. “He’s pretty awesome like that.”
“He’s not the only one,” Carrick said with a smile. He leaned in closer still, our faces barely a foot apart.
I felt myself blushing again. “I’m nothing special.”
Carrick slapped my head playfully.
“Hey!’ It didn’t hurt, but I still pouted.
“Learn to take a fucking compliment, dude.” He laughed.
“I’m trying,” I admitted. “It’s a problem I have.”
“Well maybe you just need someone to do it more often…” he suggested, his eyebrow twitching a little. I wasn’t sure exactly where the innuendo was in that, but that little movement suggested that there was one and it made me giggle.
“Maybe I do.”
Carrick looked me up and down again. Yeah, he was definitely checking me out, and I had to admit, I liked it. I still felt myself tremble a little under his gaze, though, but it was more from anticipation and excitement than anything else. He gave me a smirk. “Still waiting on that surprise, you know…”
I let out a nervous laugh. “That sounds like a challenge.”
Carrick raised an eyebrow, and suddenly I was second guessing myself. What if he just thought flirting with me was fun? Sure, he said I was cute and he was bi. But that didn’t necessarily mean that he wanted me too, did it? I was a little scared of what he might do if I tried something and he didn’t actually want it.
I looked him up and down the way he had me, and bit my lip. “I, umm…”
“Yeah?”
“Umm…” I stared at him, smirking a little. He hadn’t backed away yet, so that had to be a good sign.
When he gave me a smile, my fears faded a little. Before I had time to doubt myself again, I pounced on him and kissed him as hard as I could. I could feel him laughing against my lips, but he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. It seemed he was still one step ahead of me.
I pulled back and pouted. “You’re still not surprised, are you?”
“Sorry, Zac,” he replied, smirking. “I can read you like a billboard.”
My pout grew bigger. “Well, that’s no fun.”
Carrick’s smile fell. “That’s not… the only reason you did that, is it?”
“No… of course not…” I replied. And it wasn’t. I did like the challenge of trying to surprise him, trying to, in some weird way, prove myself to him. But I had imagined that kiss for years – and, not surprisingly, the reality of it was far better than what I dreamed up.
“’Cause that wouldn’t be cool…” Carrick added. He almost seemed genuinely hurt — almost, because I didn’t think anything ever ruined his good mood.
“No, Carrick. I just go around kissing guys just to surprise them,” I replied, smirking.
That did the trick. In an instant, his smirk was back. “Smart ass…”
“Yeah, so?” I grinned.
He leaned in closer. “Smart and hot…”
And with that, the blushing and trembling were back.
Carrick chuckled. “And fucking adorable.”
“You think shameless flattery is gonna get you into my pants?” I asked, giggling.
“Maybe,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Is it working so far?”
“Absolutely.” I grinned as I said it, even though inside I was an absolute mess. Where had I learned to flirt and be assertive like that? It seemed Carrick just brought that out in me.
“Good,” he replied with a nod, then leaned closer still. “I did hear you purr, didn’t I?”
“Maybe…” I blushed a little as I admitted it.
Carrick ran his fingers through my hair. He was an observant guy, after all, so of course he had picked up on that little trick of mine. On cue, I let out a little purr. He chuckled and cupped my cheek with his other hand. That little motion forced me to look him in the eyes, and I was surprised by the sincerity that I saw.
“You gotta make this choice, Zac. I’m not making it for you.”
Carrick
“What… what do you mean?” Zac trembled a bit, and I felt my protective side flare up a bit. I shrugged a bit, offering a smile to hopefully ease his fears.
“Whatever you want it to mean.” I cared about Zac way too much to risk losing him as a friend, especially over one little kiss. Zac just stared blankly at me, though; as much as I loved the kid, sometimes he could be so dense.
“I just mean, you’re still warming up to this,” I explained. “I’m not going to screw it up by pushing you to do anything you’re not ready for.”
“Oh… Oh.” Zac finally caught up, biting his lip; slow, but not stupid. “Carrick… It’s possible I still haven’t been entirely honest with you.”
“Yeah?” I wasn’t surprised; Zac was the kind of guy you had to be patient with. He’d open up to you eventually, but he’d take his sweet time doing it. I’d learned long ago that the best way to get him to talk was just to sit back, smirk, and let him get warmed up. And weed never hurt, either.
“Well how do you think I realized I was gay, anyway?” That got my attention. “I mean, it’s not just a hypothesis at this point.”
I pulled back a bit, my eyes going wide and my smirk growing. The dog.
“Really.”
“I was… with this guy… for a while.”
“Well.” I let out a breath; so little Zaccy found himself a man? “Congrats, you’ve surprised me.”
“Really? That’s what surprises you?” Zac asked, laughing.
“Well no offense, but you didn’t strike me as the ‘go out and get myself a boyfriend’ type.” Zac wasn’t the “go out and get myself anything” type, other than food and video games, but especially when it came to social interaction. The fact that we’d hit it off was mostly thanks to my “complete disregard for personal space”, as Taylor had called it once.
“Yeah, it kind of surprised me too,” Zac chuckled. I leaned back against the couch again, the smirk returning. Well, it never really left, but it went back to its neutral, non-surprised state.
“That’s cool, though. He makes you happy?” As long as Zac was happy, I was happy. But Zac didn’t look happy.
“He… did.” Zac frowned, his entire body losing its energy. Suddenly everything clicked, and the protective side flared up again.
“You… didn’t call me because you were upset about Kate, did you?”
Zac looked down, finally shaking his head, and I had the sudden urge to find this guy and hurt him. Bad.
“Oh, Zac…” I settled for pulling him into a hug, rubbing his back slowly.
“He, um… broke it off.” Zac’s eyes watered a bit, and I sighed.
“I’m sorry.” It was a shitty response, but it was the only one available.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I reached up to stroke Zac’s hair; it was something he’d mentioned liking, and right then I wanted to make him feel good, whatever it took.
“Not really.”
“Okay.” I had a feeling Zac did want to talk, but I wasn’t going to push. As upset as he seemed, it must’ve been bad, and recent. But sure enough, a minute later he sighed, opening up.
“He… didn’t think I was serious about it, I guess. Serious about him.”
“Were you?” It was a simple question, but at the same time, not. This was the way to get Zac to talk; gentle pushes, letting him lead the way. Sometimes I wondered if he knew how well I understood how to play his strings.
“I thought I was…” Zac trailed off, sounding not entirely sure. I pulled back to look at him better, watching his eyes carefully. Zac’s eyes were so expressive; they almost always gave him away, no matter how hard he tried to hide his real feelings. Or maybe I just knew him deeply enough to see through it.
“You thought?”
“I don’t know. I’m a coward. I didn’t want to… to come out.”
“And? Who says you have to?”
“Well, he kind of did.”
…What.
“He broke up with you because you weren’t ready to come out? Fucking asshole.” That slight urge to hurt was now a full-blown desire to maim.
“It’s a little more complicated than that,” Zac added. “I can’t really explain it.” I nodded slowly; I wasn’t sure what Zac was getting at, but I trusted he’d get to it eventually.
“I’m just… really confused. Not about…” Zac laughed a bit, trailing off shyly. “I’m definitely gay. But maybe… Maybe I shouldn’t cling to the first guy who’ll have me, either.” Zac smirked, his eyes suggesting an entirely different mood.
And with that, my mind went… places.
“I was gonna say… Might be a good idea to see your options.” I smirked wider, leaning closer. I was seeing Zac in a whole new light; well honestly, I’d always seen him that way. But now Zac wasn’t quite as oblivious as he’d always been. “Play the field a bit.”
“I think that’s… a great idea,” Zac replied, nodding. I brushed my fingers against his cheek, loving the way he trembled at the touch. As well as I knew him, I’d always figured I’d know exactly how to turn him on, what buttons to press; only one way to find out.
“Carrick…” The way he sighed my name, almost begging, was equally adorable, and a major turn-on.
“Yeah, Zac?”
“Kiss me.”
That was all the encouragement I needed; I nodded once, closing the gap to press our lips together. Apparently it wasn’t enough, because a moment later Zac was kissing me back with force, one hand tangling in my hair. I moaned, but laughed a bit inwardly; Zac never did anything half-assed, so I wasn’t all that surprised. I matched his enthusiasm, gripping his hair in one hand and his waist with the other. Almost as soon as my hand touched his hair he pulled back, and purred.
The boy purred.
“I can’t decide if that’s adorable, or sexy as fuck.”
“Why choose?” Zac laughed, a bit breathless in a totally sexy-as-fuck way. I laughed back, grabbing him and pulling him in for another kiss. I’d imagined this countless times, but as always, the imagination paled in comparison to the real deal. I kissed him hungrily, already growing addicted to the taste of his lips.
Zac moaned against my mouth, his tongue brushing my lips, and I didn’t hesitate to let him in. He tasted like weed and soda, a strange combination, but totally Zac, and I lapped it up like a starving man. My hands started to wander, the one on his waist going under his shirt; I’d always wondered if his skin was as soft as it looked. Turned out it was softer.
I pulled back just long enough to tug his tee shirt over his head, taking note of the way he blushed when I looked him over. Lips crashed together again, and I leaned Zac back against the couch, moving to his neck; the way he moaned and dug his nails into my back let me know I was on the right track. I couldn’t help chuckling at his eagerness, how obviously he wanted this.
“Something funny?” Zac asked, one eyebrow raised. I shrugged, biting his shoulder; he responded by gasping, his back arching, and I made a mental note to try that other places. “God, Carrick…”
“Nice to know your opinion of me is so high,” I joked, winking at him. It was corny, sure, but I’d never been one to take sex all that seriously. Not that it didn’t matter, but I never understood the need for it to be all somber and, well, serious. Zac laughed, though; it was good to know he felt he could still be himself around me. Just a less-dressed, hornier version.
My wandering hands kept moving, rubbing up and down his chest; I loved how smooth it was, how soft. I kissed him again as my hands parted ways, one going north to his hair, the other heading south to grip his thigh. He purred again, rolling his hips up; what little resolve I had slipped, and I slid my body over his, gripping his hip as I ground against him, drawing another delicious moan from his lips.
“Carrick… fuck.”
“Already?” I chuckled. “Someone’s an eager beaver.” The thought had definitely crossed my mind; or rather, planted itself there somewhere halfway through the first day at Fool’s Banquet. But thinking something, and expecting it to happen, were two different things. Zac blushed, catching my meaning, but failing to deny the implication. Interesting.
My mouth found his again, my hips grinding against his; his nails dragged down my back, not enough to hurt but enough to make me moan. He tugged at my tank top, pulling it up; I sat up just long enough to peel it off, pausing to stare down at him. He bit his lip nervously, and I hesitated.
“You sure you’re okay with this? No pressure if you’re not.” I smiled reassuringly; as much as I didn’t want him to stop, I wasn’t going to hold this against him if he changed his mind.
“I’m… I’m definitely okay with it.” Even though his voice faltered a bit, his eyes gave him away again; I didn’t need to ask again.
“You sure?” I didn’t need to ask; but a little teasing never hurt, as I slowly rolled my hips against his.
“Fuck… Yes I’m sure, you bastard.”
I laughed again, leaning down to kiss Zac hard. He grabbed my hips, pulling me even closer; I snaked one hand between us, gripping his dick through his jeans. I’d always wondered, guessing by the bulge in his jeans, but now I’d know.
“Damn, boy. Been holding out on me?”
“I guess you could say that,” Zac giggled, blushing. I leaned down and bit his lip, drawing another moan from him as I stroked him through the denim, laughing lightly against his neck as he cursed.
“You keep laughing at me… Not really good for a guy’s ego, ya know,” Zac breathed in between moans.
“Aww, poor baby,” I teased. Zac pouted adorably, and I planted a sweet kiss on his lips. “You know I tease ya ’cause I love ya, dumbass.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Zac said, smiling.
“And I know you can take it,” I added, gripping him tighter and smirking.
“Oh I can definitely take it,” Zac shot back, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I looked him up and down, my mind racing with thoughts of him taking it.
“Oh yeah?” I whispered against his mouth. “You sure you can take it?”
“Oh yeah… Definitely.” Zac nodded, but I caught the way he trembled.
“Well then?” I asked, laughing a bit. I leaned back against the couch, letting out a breath. I was curious what Zac would do if handed the reins. I threw him a wink for good measure, waiting for him to make the next move.
“Prove it, Kid.”
Zac
I looked Carrick up and down, still in disbelief that this was actually happening. Carrick was so different than Taylor, but at that moment, different was exactly what I needed. So if he wanted me to be a little more aggressive and show him what I could do, then I would.
With that thought in mind, I crawled up on top of him and kissed my way down his chest. He sighed happily, and I paused for a second to see if any snarky comments were coming. When he didn’t say anything, I decided I was doing pretty good. Feeling encouraged, I kissed and nibbled at his hip as my hand crept to the bulge in his jeans. That earned me a moan; was I that good or he was just that easy to please? Either way, I knew I had to keep going. I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and slid both them and his briefs down.
He lifted his hips to help me pull his pants and underwear down, and I glanced up to see his eyes on me. When he realized I was staring right at him, he licked his lips and gave me a little smirk. I wasn’t sure if that was a hint or not, but either way, I returned his smirk and kept my eyes trained on his as I leaned down to swirl my tongue around the head of his dick.
“Fuck…” Carrick gasped out, his eyes closing halfway.
I chucked softly. “Yeah?”
“Shut up and suck,” he said, winking at me as he placed his hand firmly on my head.
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” I replied, laughing, then sucking him into my mouth all at once. He wasn’t quite as big as Taylor, so it wasn’t exactly a challenge, but that was fine by me.
“Fuck, Zac.” He gripped my hair hard, throwing his head back against the arm of the couch.
I couldn’t help moaning a little at that – it was hard to purr with my mouth full – and knowing that I was turning him on so much only turned me on more. I already knew I was pretty good at this, but I wanted to make sure Carrick knew, too. Staring up at him, I bobbed up and down even faster until Carrick gave a soft moan. Giving him a little wink, I pushed that little bit further until I felt his dick hitting the back of my throat.
Carrick smirked. A little out of breath, he said, “I guess you can… take it…”
I pulled back and gave him a smirk of my own. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”
“Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” I replied with a nod, crawling up his body and leaning down to kiss him. I fumbled around for his hand and placed it on my ass, hoping he got the hint.
I could actually feel his smirk against my lips as he squeezed my ass. He definitely got the hint. With a slight moan, I slid my hands between us to unbutton and unzip my jeans. Carrick was still right there with me; he shoved my jeans and boxer briefs down quickly.
Our position wasn’t quite right, though. It reminded me too much of the first time with Taylor and I wanted desperately not to think about Taylor while I was having sex with Carrick. I scooted back on the couch until I could lay down, grabbing Carrick’s arm roughly and pulling him down on top of me. That was better.
As soon as he was on top of me, his lips were on mine again. His kisses were passionate, but unhurried; like him, really. One of his hands crept down to my thigh, his nails raking up and down it lightly.
“Fuck…” I whimpered, even though it was a pretty light touch. It only made me want more.
Carrick chuckled. “You like it rough, huh?”
He didn’t even give me a chance to answer before scratching harder. Moaning, I replied, “Maybe…”
“Figures,” he said with a smirk. He bit down lightly on my neck, the hand on my thigh moving to wrap around my dick.
Fucking finally. I moaned loudly, not even caring if I looked pathetic and needy, and thrust up into his hand. His lips moved from my neck back to my mouth, biting down on my lower lip as he began to stroke me.
I let out another moan. “Fuck, Carrick…”
He chuckled against my mouth. I didn’t even know what was so funny.
“There you go laughing at me again,” I said, pouting.
Carrick licked my bottom lip. “So shut me up, then.”
I giggled. “I’m good, but I don’t think even I’m good enough to shut you up.”
Carrick leaned his head against mine and laughed. “Yeah, well, nobody’s perfect, I guess.”
“I guess not,” I replied with a laugh.
He tightened his grip on my dick, trailing kisses down my neck and chest. It was weird, how he could go from making me laugh to being ridiculously hot in just a matter of seconds. But it was a good kind of weird.
“God…” I moaned, staring down at him.
“Yes?” He smirked.
Should have expected that one, but it still made me roll my eyes. Nudging his head downward, I said, “I think I know one thing that might shut you up.”
“Hmm, ya think?” Carrick asking, pressing a few kisses to my stomach.
I trembled at the touch of his lips, still not entirely comfortable with him – or anyone – being so close to my pudge. I forced a smirk and replied, “Yeah. Can’t talk with your mouth full, can you?”
“Wanna bet?” He raised an eyebrow. I opened my mouth to reply to that, but all words left my mind when his tongue flicked against the head of my dick.
“Fuck, Carrick…” I gasped out, unable to think of any other words at all.
He chuckled at that, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he sucked the head into his mouth completely. I let loose a moan and and gripped his hair tightly. He stared up at me and raised an eyebrow, but again didn’t say a word as he sucked more of my dick into his mouth, inch by inch.
“Finally shut you up,” I said with a grin.
“Fuck you,” he mumbled, his smirk somehow still visible even with his mouth full of, well, me.
I let out another moan. “You damn well better.”
Carrick’s eyes widened and I laughed. Had I finally surprised him?