Zac

A few days later, I found myself standing nervously on the doorstep outside Taylor’s house. He decided it would be a good idea for us to have an actual date. Obviously we couldn’t go out in public together for a date, but he had the bright idea to cook dinner for me at his house while Natalie was gone for the night, spending some time with her mom.

So there I was, feeling like a total idiot as I rang the doorbell and waited for him to answer. Since it was a date, I even dressed up a little – a nice pair of jeans, t-shirt actually tucked in for once, and a black button-up shirt over top of that. I tugged nervously at my collar as I waited for Taylor. I was certain I looked like an idiot. Finally, he opened the door and gave me a wide grin.

“Hey, Zac!” He pulled me in for a hug, then glanced around for a second. Evidently deciding it was safe to do so, he gave me a quick kiss, then pulled me inside the house.

I smiled and blushed at his enthusiastic greeting. “Hey, Taylor.”

He lead me into the kitchen, where I could see that he had been busy cooking. “Hungry?”

“Always,” I replied with a laugh.

I watched Taylor pull a few steaks off the broiler and spoon some mashed potatoes into a bowl. “Well, just help yourself. Just gotta finish the veggies.”

“You didn’t have to go to so much trouble, Tay,” I replied, piling a plate full of the steak and potatoes and making my way to the table.

Taylor followed me, giving me a shrug as he sat a plate of steamed vegetables down on the table in front of me. “It’s no trouble.”

It might not have seemed like any trouble to him, but to me, it most definitely was. I couldn’t cook at all, and Taylor knew that. I was pretty sure he planned this date just so that he could show off how much more domestically talented he was. I didn’t mind, though, as long as I got a delicious dinner. And this was most definitely delicious. I had been nervous about this date, so having a great meal to eat gave me a good excuse not to talk very much.

“How is it?” Taylor asked, eating much more slowly and giving me a little smile. “Steak done right?”

“It’s great. But you know you’re a great cook.”

He smiled and shrugged. “You look really nice, Zac.”

I blushed and gave him a dorky smile. “Thanks, I showered.”

Taylor laughed. “For me? Aww…”

“Maybe,” I replied.

Taylor’s eyes sparkled as he smiled at me again. I didn’t know what else to say, so I just gave him another smile, then dug into my steak again. He laughed. “You’re such a carnivore, Zac.”

“I know you’re not complaining,” I replied, causing him to blush and look away. “I just love your meat.”

Taylor groaned and rolled his eyes. Even though he covered his face with one hand, I could still see his smile. After a moment, he lowered his hand and stared at me. “Really?”

I giggled. “Do you really have to ask?”

He chuckled. “Just eat your food.”

“Yes, master,” I replied with a grin.

Taylor laughed and shook his head, then stuck his tongue out. “Brat.”

“Maybe,” I replied with a shrug.

We didn’t talk much for the rest of the meal. I still felt really awkward about the whole thing; I hadn’t been on a real date in years, and not only was this a date, it was a date with a man. And my brother. I felt awkward and unprepared and totally inadequate.

If Taylor noticed how nervous I was, he didn’t say anything about it. Once we had finished eating, he grabbed my empty plate without a word. I sighed happily and leaned back in my chair, feeling absolutely stuffed. Taylor gave me a smile before walking over to the sink with the dishes. With his back to me, he said, “I thought maybe we could watch a movie or something, if you want.”

“Sure… sounds great.”

He rinsed the plates off and stuck them in the dishwasher, then stepped back over to the table. He leaned down a bit to wrap his arms around my shoulders and said, “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

Instead of replying, he just leaned over my shoulder and kissed me gently. After a moment, he pulled back and gave me a smile. “Shall we?”

“Sure,” I said, returning his smile and standing up.

He took my hand and lead me into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. I sat down next to him, just close enough that our bodies were touching. Once we were both seated, he glanced at me and said, “You’re awfully quiet… everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

Taylor tilted his head. “Okay, when someone says it’s nothing, it’s something. Spill.”

I sighed. So he had noticed my nervousness. Great.

He pouted, concern written all over his face. “Baby… talk to me.”

“Oh, that’s not even fair,” I said, causing him to smirk. “Pouting, calling me baby… manipulative bastard.”

Taylor chuckled. “Is it working?”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Yeah…”

His face turned serious again, one hand reaching out to touch my cheek. As much as I still didn’t want to talk, I couldn’t refuse him when he was looking at me like that.

“It’s just… you know, the whole name thing?”

“Yeah?”

“I know I said it was okay, but… it’s really not. It’s still kinda bugging me.”

Taylor pulled back a bit. “Zac, talk to me. Tell me how to make it right.”

“You’re not not making it right. I’m just being… dumb. Insecure.” I mumbled the last word, embarrassed to even admit it.

He bit his lip and touched my arm. “You’re not dumb.”

“I kinda am.”

Taylor sighed. “Zac…”

I took a deep breath and tried to find the right words. I knew I would probably still mess it up, but I had to at least try to say what I was feeling, because I knew Taylor wouldn’t leave me alone until I did. “It’s just… when you wouldn’t call me by my real name, it made me feel like… like you didn’t really wanna be with me.”

Taylor gasped softly.

“And I mean, you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t want to be with me.”

“Hey. Stop.” He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him.

I pouted, but he wouldn’t relent. With sad eyes, he pulled me in for a deep kiss. I sighed, but I couldn’t resist kissing him back. Once he decided he’d made his point with the kiss, he pulled back and leaned his head against mine, staring intently at me.

“Now listen. I don’t care what I should or shouldn’t want. I want you. Only you. I don’t know how to make you believe me, Zac. If you want me to only call you by your name, I will. Please. Help me fix this.”

“I know you want me,” I replied. “I do know that. It just hasn’t gotten through my stupid thick skull yet.”

Taylor laughed softly. “Zac…”

“It just felt like… like it was still a game, you know? Because you wouldn’t say my name. And then – not that I didn’t love it last time. I really did. But…”

“But…?”

“Well, you still had me calling you something other than your name,” I said with a pout. “I know, I’m being dumb again.”

Taylor pulled back and looked at me in confusion. “But, Zac, you started the master thing. I only went along with it because I thought you wanted to.”

“I know,” I replied. “I told you I was dumb.”

He heaved a frustrated sigh, then knocked on the side of my head. “You. Are. Not. Dumb!”

I pouted. “Okay, just because I like it rough doesn’t mean you have to beat me up.”

He laughed, then kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry, ba – Zac.”

“You can call me baby.” I immediately regretted saying that, because it only caused him to sigh again.

“You know, you’re kind of giving me mixed signals here,” he said with a smirk.

I laughed. “I’m sorry.”

Taylor leaned over and kissed the tip of my nose. “I will call you anything you want to be called.”

I couldn’t help giggling at the kiss. It was the silliest, most adorable thing, and it was so perfectly Taylor.

“But no matter what I call you, it’s still you. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I know,” I replied, slowly beginning to smile again. “And I know I’m being stu– irrational right now.”

“Nice save,” he said with a smirk. “I love you so much, Zachary Walker Hanson.”

“I love you too, Jordan Taylor Hanson.”

He gave me a quick kiss, then said, “In all honesty, I don’t know how I feel about the whole ‘master’ thing, anyway. I mean, it was fun, and you’re definitely sexy as fuck when you beg… but, well…”

The way he blushed made me blush as well. I gave him a nudge. “What?”

“I’mmoreofasub,” he mumbled.

“More of a what?” I said, replaying his mumbled words in my head. When their meaning dawned on me, I blushed deeper. “Oh.”

He looked away, smiling shyly and nodding. “But, if it makes you happy…”

Taylor was always so selfless. I loved and hated it at the same time. It came so naturally to him, but not to me. But for him, I wanted to try. “Well, maybe… maybe we can just take it easy on that kind of stuff for a while. Just to give me time to pull my head out of my ass.”

Taylor laughed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. With a smirk, he said, “You really surprised me, you know.”

“Surprised you? How?”

He leaned in closer and whispered in my ear. “Something about my baby brother liking to get choked…”

I blushed, and he nipped at my ear. “I didn’t even know I liked that, until you.”

Taylor bit his lip and smirked. “Me either.”

“Thank you,” I said with a sigh, “for not nothing I’m dumb.”

“Don’t worry,” he replied, kissing my forehead. “We all know I’m the blonde one.”

I laughed, and Taylor shot me another wink. “I just get so insecure, and it is dumb. And I didn’t say I was dumb, so don’t even say it.”

He shut his mouth quickly and I grinned; I had anticipated that one. With a serious look, he said, “But I want to know why you feel that way. You know everyone loves you. You’re insanely talented. So… why?”

I sighed. I really didn’t want to go there, but I knew we had to. “We kinda talked about this, didn’t we? About… how Kate treats me.”

Taylor growled. I would have found it sexy if it weren’t for the context. I stared blankly at him for a second, until he said, “I hadn’t… put that together.”

“Yep, you’re still the blonde one,” I said, trying to laugh it off in the hopes that Taylor would as well.

He didn’t. Instead, he gave me a dark smirk and then the look I had long ago taken to calling his bitch face. It was funny, if you weren’t the person who earned it. I stared at him, eyes wide, and his glare only grew more intense. “If she ever, I mean ever, gets on your case again… you tell me. Got it? No one treats you like that. No one.”

“If I did that, we’d never have time to talk about anything else.” I still tried to laugh it off, but my laugh was a lot more nervous that time.

Taylor’s eyes went sad all of a sudden, his previous rage and intensity nowhere to be found. “Is… is it really that bad?”

“Well, considering she apparently told the whole world how much I suck in bed…”

Taylor shook his head. “Just Nat… I think.”

“That’s enough,” I replied. “Clearly Nat didn’t keep her mouth shut about it. I mean, I’m not mad that you know, especially since I kinda told you first.”

Taylor gave a sad sigh and began rubbing my back.

“It’s not just the Kate thing, though. I mean, I think I’d be insecure anyway.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my big brother is kinda perfect. And we both know I’m not talking about Isaac.”

Taylor blushed deeply. “I’m not… I mean…”

“Yeah, you kinda are.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m really not, Zac.”

“Well, to me you are.”

He smiled shyly. “And to me, you are. You’ve got such beautiful eyes, and a smile that can light up a room… and you’re so talented. I could never be as talented as you.”

I laughed. He couldn’t really mean that, could he? “Tay, seriously? You are so much more talented than me.”

He shook his head. “Am not.”

“Are too.”

He smirked. “Nuh-uh.”

Clearly we were just going in circles. I tried to think of a way to get us out of that cycle, and my brain dredged up a random snippet of one of our online conversations. Tilting my head to the side, I said, “Hey… I just had a thought.”

“Did it hurt?” He chuckled. I pouted, which only made him laugh more. “Aww, I’m sorry, baby.”

“Seriously, Tay. Remember when we talked about Across the Universe?”

He seemed to get lost in thought for a moment. “Yeah?”

“And we were talking about Oh Darlin…”

Taylor’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned red. “Y-yeah?”

“And you mentioned a cover of it that you really liked. Did you mean…?”

He gave me that shy smile again. “Umm, I don’t remember. What song were we talking about?”

“You heard me.” I poked him in the inside, prompting him to giggle. “I mean, I know I’m pretty awesome at that song. I just didn’t realize you’d noticed.”

Taylor gave me a genuine smile. “Of course I noticed. Zac, you kill that song. So amazing.”

“That…” I stuttered and blushed. “That means a lot to me.”

“I love all your songs, really. Your voice… it’s so much better than mine.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, now you’re starting to sound like a fangirl. Which is really cute, but you’re so wrong.”

He chuckled. “I mean it. Your voice… there’s a depth to it, and you’re so versatile. And your range… meanwhile, I’m stuck sounding like a high school girl.”

“Okay, I know I’ve called you the chick in Hanson before, but I didn’t really mean it. You have a great voice.”

Taylor rolled his eyes. “It’s good for some songs, but you can do so much more. You pull off ballads and rock songs just as good.”

“Like you don’t? God you might actually be more insecure than me, if that’s even possible.” I thought we could go in circles like that all night. I gave him a serious look and said, “This might sound weird, but I have always, like… wanted to be you. I mean, I always looked up to you, you know? Wished I could be more like you.”

Taylor blinked. “You… what?”

“Well, yeah,” I said with a shrug. “I mean, you’re my big brother, you know? And then we got famous and you were everyone’s favorite. I was just the goofy little one.”

His face turned serious, almost sad. “You make people happy, Zac. That’s a gift.”

I shrugged. It wasn’t a gift; it was a defense mechanism.

“And what about your art?”

“It’s alright.”

“Alright?” He echoed, staring blankly at me. “Zac, stick figures are alright. Your stuff is amazing.”

“If you say so,” I replied, giving him a smile.

“I do,” he said, leaning in close.

I couldn’t help trembling a little, both at his closeness and his intensity and honesty. “Tay… that really means a lot to me.”

He touched my cheek. “Well, you really mean a lot to me.”

“And you know you mean a lot to me too,” I said. I lowered my voice, trying not to show how close I was to crying. “I mean, I love you. I really do.”

He echoed my soft tone of voice. “I love you.”

“And I know you do. It’s just hard for me to believe I deserve it, I guess. I know, I’m being dumb again.”

He smiled. “I forgive you.”

“Thanks?” I said with a slight laugh.

“Just don’t do it again.” He smirked.

“Me? Not be dumb again? That would take a miracle.”

He rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he leaned in and kissed me, probably more to shut me up than for any other reason. It worked, at least for the moment.

 

Taylor

I let out a sigh; I wished Zac could just see how amazing he was. If there was one of us who was undeserving, it certainly wasn’t him. I was the inadequate one, flawed and jaded, far from the idol so many expected me to be. But for Zac, I would try.

“What?” Zac asked curiously, a slightly concerned pout on his lips.

“Nothing,” I reassured him. “Happy. Happier than I’ve been in… in a long time,” I finished quietly. I didn’t want to think about the past, not now. But Zac frowned, and I just knew he wouldn’t let my comment go without explanation.

“You know, I wanna be glad that it’s because of me, but I hate that you weren’t happy and I didn’t know.” The concern in his voice made me smile sadly, but I shook my head.

“Not your fault. I made sure no one knew.” I regretted my words as soon as they left my lips, and I immediately tried to backpedal. “I mean, it wasn’t that big a deal.” I tried to smile, but Zac saw right through it, poking me.

“Hey. Don’t lie to me. You suck at lying,” Zac added as I opened my mouth to protest.

“I’m not lying… exactly.”

“Your just not telling the truth?”

“Not telling unnecessary bits. It’s different,” I corrected.

“No it’s not,” Zac fired back. I leaned over, trying to distract him with a kiss, but he pulled back, eying me.

“Tay. I told you what I was upset about; now talk to me.” Zac stared me down unwaveringly, and I sighed heavily, changing tactics.

“I’m not upset though, not anymore.”

“I still don’t believe you,” Zac sighed, frowning. “Is this about…” I looked away, biting my lip; I hated how transparent I apparently was.

“Zac,” I quietly begged. “Really. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Zac pushed. I wished he would drop it; we were having a wonderful night, and the last thing I wanted to do was bring the mood down by talking about… my past.

“You really want to know?” I asked him, my tone a bit sarcastic.

“Honestly? Probably not. But it’s bothering you, so I want you to talk to me.” I could tell from his tone, and the look in his eyes, that he wasn’t going to quit. With a heavy sigh, I chewed on my lip, running a hand through my hair. I really didn’t want to get into this, but maybe it would help.

“Fine. You remember V-Fest last year?”

“He… he was there,” Zac said, nodding slowly. “I remember.”

“Yeah,” I said simply; memories were already starting to flood my mind, clear and vivid and bittersweet.

“Oh,” Zac said quietly, looking down; I wondered what he was thinking, but part of me wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“Um, anyway, we were… hanging out…” I cleared my throat nervously before continuing. “And we started talking.” I wanted to stop, to hold Zac and kiss him and never think about Alex again. But now that I’d started reliving it, I had to get through it. I watched Zac bite his lip, and felt my own lip shake as the feelings of that particular conversation echoed in my ears, every word as cutting as when it had been uttered.

“The short version is, I kind of stupidly let slip how much I cared. Open mouth, insert foot; must run in the family.” I smirked, and Zac laughed softly. His laugh eased the pain somewhat, and gave me the courage to get through the last part. I took a heaving breath before finishing.

“Well what it boils down to, is that he made it very clear that it was one-sided. ‘Fun is fun Tay. Leave it at that or leave it alone.'”

“Oh, Tay…” Zac pulled me into his arms, but I resisted at first, not wanting his pity.

“It’s fine, really. It’s no… no big…” My voice was shaking too much for me to go on; I couldn’t lie anymore, not to Zac.

“Jordan Taylor Hanson, don’t you lie to me.” I looked at Zac, my eyes starting to water. I realized I didn’t have to lie anymore.

“You really… care about him, don’t you?” Zac asked softly. I closed my eyes, hesitating, before giving a tiny nod.

“I mean, I did… God, I just feel so stupid.”

“Taylor,” Zac said softly. “You’re not stupid. You can’t help how you feel.”

“I just felt so used.” I shivered a bit, and Zac began rubbing my back soothingly.

“I’m so sorry, baby.”

I sniffed, and looked up at Zac. I was reminded how beautiful he was, and just how good it felt to love someone who actually loved me back. So Alex Greenwald didn’t care about me, so what? Who was he, besides a washed-up strung-out ex-fuck-buddy? Zac was my boyfriend. I smiled, only a little sadly, and reached out to touch Zac’s cheek.

“It worked out, though. Because now I have you. And you’re ten times the man he is.” I smiled sweetly at Zac, but he burst out laughing.

“He’s that small, huh?” It took a moment for Zac’s meaning to hit me, but when it did I laughed hard, scrunching my nose.

“Oh my god Zac…”

“I’m kidding. Don’t… I don’t really want to know.” Zac blushed a bit, and I matched him, smiling.

“You’re bigger,” I said with a wink, making Zac blush harder. I pulled him in for a kiss, smiling as I pulled back. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For making me talk about it. I hadn’t told anyone about it; never even said it aloud. God, he really is an asshole,” I realized.

“I never really liked him,” Zac said, nodding. “I didn’t know why; he just gave me a bad feeling. He is kinda pretty though,” Zac added, frowning.

“You’re prettier,” I replied, pouting a bit, then giggling at calling my brother ‘pretty’. Zac blushed, smiling shyly.

“If you say so,” Zac muttered; I responded by softly kissing him.

“I do,” I whispered against his lips. My own words echoed in my mind, their typical context making me blush. “Um…”

“What?”

“Um, nothing…” I blushed a bit harder, laughing at myself and kissing Zac’s nose.

“Okay… But you know, Alex better hope I never run into him,” Zac practically growled, his face serious.

“Same for Kate,” I muttered, my face just as serious. Zac blushed, giggling nervously, and I tried to laugh it off. I didn’t want Zac to know how much I hated her for what she did to him, but the truth was that when it came to Kate, I’d never trusted her. I never knew how bad it was, but I always had a feeling she didn’t treat him the way he deserved. But knowing just how far her abuse went, my mind raced with uncharacteristically violent thoughts.

“But I mean it,” Zac said, his face regaining its somber expression. “I will rip Alex’s tiny dick off and beat him with it.” It took a moment, but the grave expression gave way to laughter that I quickly echoed, albeit a bit nervously.

“Okay, I’m not that violent,” Zac reassured me, although I would have begged to differ. “But he still better watch out.”

“Right,” I answered, nodding slowly. “Well I doubt you need to worry about that. Not planning on seeing him anytime soon… or ever.”

“Good. And you know you don’t really have to worry about Kate, right?” I must’ve growled, because Zac giggled, blushing a bit. “Although not gonna lie, the thought of you two… chick fight…” Zac dissolved into a fit of giggles again, and I couldn’t help smiling.

“Oh she wouldn’t know what hit her,” I answered with a sneer. “Trust me, I can get… creative.” I smirked, dark thoughts whispering at my mind. I wasn’t used to being so protective, but I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone causing Zac pain.

“Tay,” he said slowly, his eyes going wide.

“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t get caught.” I winked at him, and his eyes went wider.

“I’m just going to assume you’re kidding,” Zac said, laughing nervously. I smiled innocently, and he seemed to relax. “You are cute when you’re all jealous and possessive, though.”

“Yeah?” I felt my cheeks turning a bit pink, and Zac nodded.

“Then again, you’re always cute. You are,” he added when I rolled my eyes at him. No matter how many times people called me that, I could never bring myself to believe it.

“Don’t start that again.”

“Start what again?”

“I’m not that cute, really.” I knew how red my cheeks probably were, but I couldn’t help smiling.

“Yes. You. Are,” Zac insisted. I sighed heavily, then turned to him, smirking.

“Like what? Like, what about me is cute?” I wasn’t the type to dig for compliments, but I was curious just what it was Zac saw.

“Well, there’s the way you always blush.”

“Okay, what else?” I leaned back, smirking more.

“Well… Those little wrinkles around your eyes, especially when you smile. And also, your smile.”

“My wrinkles?” I grimaced; over the past few years, age had started to catch up with me; I no longer had the boyish features I’d managed to keep for so long.

“Yeah,” Zac replied with a shrug, as if it were completely normal.

“Okay, you’re weird.”

“You’re fucking your brother. Pot, kettle.” Zac grinned, and I laughed hard.

“Yeah, I guess. Anything else?”

“Your pout.”

“Oh, you mean this one?” I flashed Zac one of my typical expressions I often used in photoshoots. Zac whimpered a bit, nodding.

“Yes, that one.”

“Or this one?” I gave Zac another look, similar but slightly different.

“That one too. And that thing you do when you run your hand through your hair.” I performed said motion, smirking, and Zac blushed a bit.

“You’ve practiced those, haven’t you?”

“Of course not,” I said innocently, smirking more.

“I bet you stand in front of the mirror and pout at yourself for hours.”

“Of course not… That would be… silly.” I felt my cheeks burning; it’d been a while, but I did remember times, early in our career, where I would practice certain poses and expressions. But I didn’t need Zac to know that.

“You totally do!” Zac laughed, and I blushed harder. “Don’t even try to claim you’re not silly. Which is also cute.”

“Then you’re freaking adorable,” I chuckled.

“Tell me something I don’t already know,” Zac fired back, smiling.

“So modest.”

“I’m not nearly as adorable as you, trust me.”

“Okay, okay, if you say so,” I replied, winking at Zac.

“Okay. That’s another thing on the list. Those fucking winks. Cheesy, but cute.”

“Too cheesy for you?”

“I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Good.” I grinned at Zac, who returned my smile. I knew I tended to be a little sappy, but I was glad he appreciated it.

“You realize I could keep this up for hours, right? Just listing everything awesome about you.”

“Okay,” I sighed, rolling my eyes and smirking. “I think my ego has been stroked enough for today.”

“If you say so,” Zac giggled; I leaned closer, kissing his cheek.

“Now it’s my turn.”

“Sounds good to me,” Zac said, smiling.

“Where to start…”

“Well there’s my fantastic body.” Zac smirked, and I looked him up and down.

“Indeed.”

“…I was kidding.”

“I’m not.” I ran a finger down the center of his chest, my eyes lingering over his broad shoulders, his wide chest, his strong arms. “Your arms.”

“Your arms,” he shot back.

“Nope,” I replied, shaking my head. “You’ve got me beat.”

“If you say so,” Zac said, shrugging. I was starting to get tired of him saying that all the time, as his passive way of disagreeing. It was cute, but I wished he would just believe me when I told him how attractive I found him. My eyes continued down his body, and I smiled.

“Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but…” I trailed my finger further down Zac’s chest as he stared blankly at me, waiting for me to finish. My hand settled over his stomach, and I blushed a little. “Your little pudgy belly. It’s cute,” I added when I saw Zac’s frown.

“It’s pudgy.”

“Yes, and pudgy is cute.”

“You are so weird.”

“This coming from the guy who says my crow’s feet are cute?” I asked, pulling back.

“That’s different,” Zac said, pouting. I smirked, looking at him.

“How?”

“Shut up, it just is.” Zac pouted more, crossing his arms over his stomach.

“Hey now.” I tried to pull Zac’s arms away; he huffed, but eventually relented. I leaned down, staring up at him as I kissed his stomach. “It’s adorable. I love it.”

“Okay,” Zac sighed, blushing. I sat up, but kept my hand on his stomach, my fingers just barely going under his shirt.

“On a related note, your, um…” I felt myself blush a little, as I brushed my fingers through the little patch of hair just below his navel.

“My happy trail?” Zac asked incredulously. All I could do was blush and nod. “You are so weirder than me.”

“What?” I asked, smiling innocently. “I think it’s sexy.”

“Okay, I guess.” Zac laughed a bit. “I mean, it’s not as weird as the belly thing.”

“Your smile. And the fact that you have different ones.”

“Well, unlike you, I don’t practice them.” Zac smiled at me, one of his more sincere smiles.

“Just naturally talented, then?”

“Not just at smiling,” Zac answered, his lips curling into an impish smirk.

“I’m aware of that,” I replied, giggling.

“You’re not so bad either,” Zac said, nudging me; I felt myself blush, and giggled again. “Your laugh is cute, too, by the way.”

“Well so is yours. And your…” I bit my lip, smiling shyly.

“My what? Go on, say it,” Zac urged, poking me in the side.

“Your hair. I’ve always been kind of jealous.”

“Why?” Zac asked, seeming honestly shocked.

“Well, your hair always looks good. You can cut it, grow it out, let it get sweaty or grungy, tie it back, leave it down… It always looks great. And I love the color it became.”

“If you say so,” Zac laughed.

“You say that a lot, you know.”

“Because I don’t really believe you, but I’m going to let you get away with saying it anyway.”

“Zac,” I sighed.

“I just don’t see myself the way you do,” he explained. “It’s no big deal.”

“I just wish you could see all the good I see in you,” I said softly.

“You don’t see what I see in you either,” Zac replied, shrugging.

“I guess not.”

“So don’t get on my case for it,” Zac chuckled, poking me again and making me giggle.

“Fine. Well, we could watch a movie as planned, or…” I smirked at Zac; if I wanted to convince him how attracted to him I was, maybe I needed to just prove it.

“Or?” Zac smiled innocently, but I didn’t buy it. I leaned over, planting a gentle kiss to his jawline, just below his ear. I heard him whimper, felt him shiver under my touch.

“Why don’t we go upstairs?” I whispered in his ear.

“To your bedroom?” The slight surprise and shyness to Zac’s tone was adorable, and I felt myself blushing as I nodded. “Okay.”

I pulled Zac to his feet, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him. As I thought back to the few times we’d been together so far, it occurred to me that things had been fairly rough. And as new to this as Zac was, that didn’t sit well with me. I pulled back to look at him, pouting a bit.

“Zac. I haven’t been very… romantic. You deserve that.”

“Romantic? Aw, Tay…” Zac blushed, but his tone was teasing.

“I’m serious,” I insisted, running a hand through his hair. “You deserve… better. Tenderness.”

“You’re too good to me,” Zac sighed contentedly, and I smiled.

“The kinky stuff is fun, but I want to share more than that with you.” It was true; I wanted to share everything with him. I wanted to show him how good it could be, the emotional connection making the physical one ten times as strong. I loved him so much it hurt, but I needed to show him that it didn’t have to be that way. He deserved so much better than me, but all I could do was offer him all I had to give. Love.

 

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