Taylor
A short while later, I followed Zac into his garage, through a door I’d forgotten existed, and up a small flight of stairs. There was another door there, which Zac unlocked, his hands fumbling with the keys a bit. He looked about as nervous as I felt, which was strangely comforting.
“So, here it is,” he said as he finally got the door open, stepping inside. I looked around; it was bigger than it looked from the outside. There wasn’t much furniture, other than a worn couch and a scratched up coffee table, and a mini-fridge in one corner. There were a couple of easels set up, and paintings of various levels of completion strewn across the floor and walls. There was a small bathroom through a door on the far wall, and a large window directly across from the door. It felt homey, and comfortable, and undeniably Zac.
“This is really nice.”
“It’s kind of a mess,” Zac said apologetically, but I shook my head, laughing lightly.
“I’ve seen worse.”
“I guess,” Zac shrugged, sitting on the edge of the couch nervously. “I’ve been spending… a lot of time out here.” I smirked, sitting next to him, a somewhat comfortable distance between us.
“Mostly at night?” I teased.
“It’s when I’m most creative,” he chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I laughed, blushing a bit, as my eyes travelled from one unfinished painting to the next.
“Wow. You really have been creative.”
“I guess… You know I’m always a bit ADD with the paintings, though.”
“Yeah,” I said quietly, standing and walking over to one of the easels. The image was a dull, grey landscape, with an old computer in the middle; through the monitor was the same landscape, but different, full of color and life. The meaning was obvious, and my breath caught in my throat.
“This is…” I couldn’t bring myself to ask, even though I knew the answer.
“Yeah,” Zac pouted, looking down. “It’s not that good.” I turned to look at him fully.
“It’s beautiful,” I corrected him.
“If you say so,” he mumbled. I sat next to him, a bit closer, knowing that now I had to hear him say it.
“Zac, was that… for…”
“Yeah,” he admitted, nodding slowly. “It was for you.” I bit my lip hard, feeling my eyes water again. I reached out, touching his cheek.
“I love it,” I breathed. Zac smiled a bit, leaning into my touch.
“I’m glad.”
“That’s… how it felt, wasn’t it?” I whispered. “Isn’t it?” I knew it was how it felt for me; over the time I’d gotten to know ‘Sam’, I’d felt more alive talking to him, sitting on my computer at two in the morning, than I felt in broad daylight.
“Yeah,” he said quietly, nodding. “Tay?” he asked, moving a bit closer. I smiled at him softly, running my fingers through his hair again. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of that feeling; the realization made me blush again, and I heard Zac laugh lightly.
“All that blushing is killing me, Tay,” he quietly laughed, and I smiled, biting my lip. He brushed his fingers against my cheek, then over my lips; I kept my eyes trained on his as I gently kissed the calloused tips. He smiled, moving his hand behind my neck and pulling me into a kiss, both of us whimpering. My hands wound in his hair, making him moan; he flicked his tongue out, deepening the kiss as I nipped at his lips.
“God, Zac,” I breathed, leaning my forehead against his, gasping for air. “I…”
“Yeah?” he replied softly, just as breathless.
“I… I want…”I swallowed hard, grasping for the courage to admit what I was feeling.
“Tay, what is it?” His eyes burned into mine. I let out a shaky breath, whispering against his lips the words that I finally allowed myself to accept.
“I want you.”
Zac
Hearing those words come out of his mouth made me shiver. I had never known I wanted to hear him say that, but now that I had, I was quite certain it was the best combination of words ever to come from his mouth. “God… I want you, too.”
He kissed my neck gently. I could see and feel his hesitance, and I wanted him to know it was okay. Not knowing what to say, I just moaned and ran my hands up and down his back in what I hoped was an encouraging manner. Taylor pressed his teeth against my skin, not quite breaking it but definitely biting. I couldn’t help responding to that. “Tay… fuck…”
He laughed against my neck, the vibration sending a chill through my body, and bit down on my shoulder. I couldn’t help whimpering. His lips moved against my skin as he said, “Zac.. this is…”
“Yeah?”
Taylor looked up sheepishly. “This feels… strange.”
I frowned. Was he trying to back out? If either of us had any sense of decency or morals left, then surely we would stop. But I don’t think I could have lived with myself if I let him end it. I needed this, needed him.
“But,” he continued, “not bad.”
“Oh, okay,” I replied, feeling a little bit of relief. I could still see the doubt and confusion on Taylor’s face.
“It’s just, you imagine something so much, and then when it really happens…”
That did little to soothe my worries. Had I disappointed him already? Aside from the shocking revelation of who I was, I hadn’t really had a chance to screw things up, yet. But maybe that was enough.
He leaned in and kissed me, smoothing my frown away. “…it’s so much better than you ever dreamed.”
“Yeah… yeah it is,” I said with a sigh. Still, I could see his brows furrowing. He wasn’t done with this train of thought, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe he still wanted this.
“It’s just, knowing that you’re… you. I guess I’m still adjusting.”
I nodded. I could understand that, I supposed. After all, I too had to deal with the fact that the man I loved was actually my brother. It was almost impossible to believe that the man behind all those wonderful words was really Taylor, but at the same time, it made a strange sort of sense.
“I had it in my head for so long that there was you, Zac, and then there was Sam. So, trying to put the two together…” He tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing a bit. “It’s just weird, you know? Isn’t it weird for you?”
“Of course it is,” I replied. It was weird beyond belief, in fact. Everything seemed to be happening so fast – I had only barely come to terms with my sexuality, only just fallen in love, and now here it all was in front of me, in the form of my brother. “I mean, I’ve never even kissed another guy before. God, I don’t even know what I’m doing. Not really.”
Taylor tilted his head further, smiling. “That’s what’s weird about this?”
“Well, that’s part of it.” And it was, at the moment, the scariest part. Whatever I felt for Jordan, for Taylor, whatever, it was too late to pretend that wasn’t real. It was too late to pretend I didn’t want it. But I had never even done it offline.
Taylor nodded, seeming to understand all that I had left unsaid. “But, I’m sure you pictured doing this with… with Jordan.”
“Yeah…” I replied, waiting for him to continue.
“And even though I’m Jordan, I’m also Tay, your brother. Who you’ve known your whole life. So it’s just… it still feels like two people, you know?”
He bit his lip as he waited for me to reply. I wasn’t sure what to say. It did, in a way, feel like two people. But I was sure that in time, it wouldn’t. It would be okay. It would make sense. It just had to. Finally, I replied, “Yeah, in a way.”
“I guess this is just going to take some getting used to. I mean, I never thought of you, the real you, like that. You have to believe me, Zac.”
“You mean, sexually?” I asked, blushing. I was pretty sure I knew that was what he meant, but I just had to ask. I needed all of this spelled out for me, to make it make sense.
Taylor blushed as well. “Yeah.”
“Well, I did notice how flustered you got when I tried to talk to you earlier,” I replied, laughing softly. Things had changed so much that it seemed that conversation was days ago, rather than hours. I realized Taylor was still staring at me, waiting for me to say something else. “You know I never thought about you like that, either.”
“I guess that’s why this is so…” he began, then trailed off. He began again, seeming to take a different approach. “I mean, mentally I want to. And physically, too. But it’s just… I look at you, and I remember what you looked like as a kid, and it’s just so strange to want you like that. You’re still my little brother.”
“I guess,” I replied. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to hear it. “Not that little anymore, though.”
Taylor smirked. “No, not from what you’ve told me.”
I glanced down, blushing, and mumbled, “Well… that wasn’t a lie, either.”
“Really?”
I looked up slowly. “Really.”
Taylor looked down shyly. “I wasn’t lying, either.”
I couldn’t help looking down. It was a natural reaction. My eyes traveled up and down the length of Taylor’s body, seeing him in an entirely new light. It wasn’t as though I hadn’t ever noticed that my brother was insanely good looking. It was just another one of the ways in which I didn’t measure up. Now, though, maybe it didn’t matter.
He laughed nervously and cleared his throat. “So, umm…”
“Yeah?” I asked, finally managing to tear my eyes off his body.
“Would it be weird if I… if I thought of you… as Sam? Just… just this once.” He didn’t meet my eyes until he managed to stutter out each word.
“Umm,” I said, absolutely stunned. It wasn’t weird, but it definitely wasn’t okay. Didn’t he want me? Why was he here with me, if some imaginary person was what he really wanted? But if I told him no, he couldn’t call me Sam, I feared he might walk out. I couldn’t bear the thought of that. I needed him, and I knew that I would do whatever he asked, if it meant I could have him. “Yeah, I guess that’s okay.”
“It’ll make it a little easier,” he said, swallowing hard.
“Okay,” I replied, my voice sounding small and weak. I was sure he saw through me.
He looked into my eyes. “I don’t want you to think I don’t want you.”
So he did see through me. I nodded. “I know…”
“I just…” he said, laughing nervously. “I’ve started to feel more myself as Jordan than I do as Taylor.”
“Yeah… I know what you mean.”
“I’ve been so honest with you, online. Well, except the name,” he said, laughing again.
“Yeah, me too.”
“Thank you,” he replied. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened them again. His entire demeanor seemed to change; he was even smiling.
I returned his smile hesitantly. He didn’t seem to notice that, though. He brushed his hand over my cheek and I stared into his eyes, waiting for his next move. I’m sure he noticed that I was shaking a little, but he cupped my face in his hands anyway, and barely brushed his lips against mine.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too,” I replied.
Taylor whimpered, then took a shaky breath. “Can you… say…”
His eyes were pleading with me, but I didn’t know what he wanted. “What?”
He closed his eyes and mumbled. “Name…”
My stomach turned. I had agreed to it, though, so I had to do it. It was what he wanted. “Oh… Jordan.”
Taylor moaned, his lips finding mine again and kissing me more deeply than before. I didn’t really understand why that name had such an effect on him, but I wasn’t going to ask. Instead, I moaned into his mouth, wrapping my arms around him. It wasn’t enough, though. I needed more of him, and soon I was clutching fistfuls of his shirt in my hands.
He gripped my hair in one hand and the back of my shirt in the other. I couldn’t help moaning again, and that seemed to spur him on more. His mouth moved down to my neck, kissing and biting at my flesh. “Sam…”
I moaned again, somewhat in spite of myself. “Jordan…”
He leaned me back against the couch, laying between my legs. I bit my lip in anticipation, willing to let him guide me along. He pulled at the neck of my shirt, kissing and nipping at the small patch of my shoulder revealed to him. A purr escaped my mouth and my hips rolled up against him all on their own. Taylor stared down at me, his eyes so full of emotion that it scared me a little. He touched my face gently, but it was enough to make me whimper.
Taylor’s hands continued on, running under my shirt and pushing it off. I could see that he was shaking and I was as well. I knew, rationally, that Taylor had seen me shirtless before and wasn’t going to run away scared. But I still felt so exposed and unattractive. I fought the urge to frown. “Please…”
He ran his hands up and down my sides, staring into my eyes. If he was disgusted with what he saw, I couldn’t tell. “Please what?”
“Just… please don’t stop.” It wasn’t what I intended to say, but it seemed appropriate. It seemed to do the trick, too, because Taylor just smiled and kissed me on the mouth again, then trailed his lips down my chest. He was moving ridiculously slow and I didn’t know if I could stand such torture.
“You are such a tease,” I said, growling.
“That…” Taylor said, eyes wide and blushing. “Umm, wow.”
I couldn’t help giggling at the way he kept blushing. “How come I’m the virgin, yet you’re doing all the blushing?”
Taylor stared at me for a second, then burst out into laughter. His head fell against my chest as his body heaved with laughter. I stroked his hair gently, my own laughs a little softer. He sighed and smiled up at me, purring softly.
“Why was I not aware you did that, too?”
He tilted his head for a second, then shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t know, either, until just now.”
“Well, you’re right. It is hot.”
Taylor turned even brighter red, averting his eyes from me and kissing my chest again. His lips trailed down even further, brushing against my stomach. Finally he looked back up at me. “So’s that growl.”
“What, this one?” I asked, then growled. I didn’t think it was that special, but he shivered and his eyes fluttered shut so I guess he disagreed.
“Yes… that one.”
“Just making sure,” I replied with a grin.
Taylor smirked up at me, then bit down on my side, sinking his teeth into the flesh over my ribs. I hissed out a curse at the feel of it. Taylor stared up at me, licking the spot. “Anyone ever tell you you’re sexy when you swear?”
“Umm, no, I don’t think so.”
“Well, you are.”
I giggled. It was a strange observation to make, but I wasn’t going to complain if Taylor found something attractive about me. “If you say so.”
“You’re cute when you giggle, too,” he replied, sliding back up my body and kissing the tip of my nose.
Leave it to Taylor to be so sappy and emotional right then. That stuff had a time and place, but right then I would have preferred a little more action. I smiled sweetly at Taylor and asked, “What about when I do this?” I rolled my hips up against his as I said it.
“Fuck!” He cried out, arching his back and gripping my hair.
“Hmm… interesting,” I replied with a smirk.
He glared down at me, then leaned down and bit my neck – hard. I growled again, running my hands down his sides and hooking my fingers into his belt loops. I rolled my hips up again. Taylor moaned out, “Fuck… Sam.”
I tried to ignore his words and only focus on his actions. Taylor’s hand crept down my side, finally coming to rest on my thigh. I could feel it shaking as he looked up at me nervously. I stared into his eyes, pleading with him, but it didn’t seem to have an effect. Finally, I said, “Please, Jordan.”
That did the trick. He closed his eyes and bit his lip as he moved his hand across my leg until it came to rest on my dick. His eyes popped wide open and he looked at me in surprise.
“I said I wasn’t lying…” I gasped out, the words punctuated with a moan.
“You weren’t,” he replied, his voice breathy. Hesitantly, he gripped my dick.
His touch was gentle but it was enough to make me whimper. No other touch – not my own, not Kate’s, not my imagined version of this very moment – measured up to the real thing. I wanted to tell him that, but I could only manage to say, “Oh God.”
He began rubbing me slowly, his lips finding mine again and kissing me impossibly gently. I moaned against his lips and thrust up into his hands, trying to encourage him. He gripped me harder, moaning, and leaned his forehead against mine. Staring into my eyes, he said, “Please… I need…”
“What? Tell me.”
He stopped moving his hand and grabbed mine, placing it on his leg. “Please, Sam.”
“Of course,” I replied. While I still didn’t care for the name, I found his shyness kind of sexy. I slid my hand between his legs, finding his erection and cupping it in my hands. “You weren’t lying either.”
Taylor shook his head, his hips bucking against my hand. I gripped him tighter and stroked him slowly. I was dying for him to touch me again. The way he shook as his head fell against my chest only turned me on more. Finally he began to stroke me again, and I struggled to keep up my pace. The sensation was almost too much for me to handle, and we had barely started. “God… Jordan…”
He moved his hand down my leg, around to the back of my knee, up my thigh, and finally came to rest on my ass. He squeezed my ass lightly. “Sam…”
I whimpered. “Yeah?”
Taylor leaned down and kissed me, then whispered, “I want your mouth on me.”
“O-okay,” I replied.
He stared into my eyes. “Are you sure? We don’t have to…”
“No, I’m sure,” I replied, though I was sure my blushing and stuttering said otherwise. “It’s just.. umm… what if I’m not any good?”
Taylor stared down at me, a hint of sadness in his eyes. He crushed his lips against mine. After a moment, he broke the kiss and said, “I love you so much. Nothing you do could ever be anything but amazing.”
“Okay, if you say so,” I replied, smiling at the way he rubbed his nose reassuringly against mine. “I really do want to…”
Taylor smiled and kissed my nose. I couldn’t help giggling, but his face was still full of concern. “Okay, just… if you want to stop, it’s okay.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He touched my face and kissed me gently. The loving look in his eyes told me it really was okay. Even if I hadn’t done any of this before, at least outside of my very vivid imagination, it would be okay. Taylor loved me and he would love whatever I did. Knowing that gave me the confidence to wrap my arms around him, kiss him back, and gently push him backward. He took the hint and rolled onto his back, one hand in my hair and the other on my hip. I continued kissing him, running my hands under his shirt and only breaking the kiss to pull his shirt over his head.
He shivered at my touch and tangled his hands in my hair as soon as his shirt was off. I couldn’t help purring as I kissed my way down the side of his face and neck, then hesitantly kissed his chest. Softly, he said, “Umm… sorry, about the umm… hair.”
I laughed a little. He was worried that would be a problem for me? Was he so deep into this Jordan and Sam roleplaying that he had forgotten that I had seen his chest a million times before, especially with the way he liked to wear his shirts half unbuttoned? If the sight of his hairy chest was going to bother me, it would have done so long ago. I glanced down at my own bare chest. “It’s okay. At least you’ve got some.”
He smirked and ran a hand up and down my chest, making me shiver. “I don’t mind, though.”
“And I don’t mind, either,” I replied, running my hand through his chest hair and kissing my way down his side.
He giggled. “If you say so.”
I paused at his hip, placing a small kiss on it before I glanced back up at him. “I do. You’re beautiful.”
Taylor turned bright red, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “No… no, I’m not. You are.”
I blinked. That wasn’t at all the response I was expected. I knew Taylor wasn’t as confident as he appeared, but I couldn’t believe he would completely disagree with me. And he thought I was the beautiful one? It was almost too much to believe. “If you say so. But you are so beautiful.”
He shook his head, his eyes beginning to water a little.
“Jordan?”
He looked away, chewing on his lip. I bit down on his hip lightly. “Jordan.”
“S-Sam,” He said, sucking in a breath and rolling his hips lightly, finally meeting my eyes. “I’m not. I’m just me.”
“Yes. You are. You’re gorgeous.” I couldn’t believe we were actually arguing over this.
He laughed, a tear falling. “God, you’re stubborn.”
I nipped at his hip again. “Yeah, and you love it.”
His eyes rolled back and his hips bucked up again. He nodded, looking at me again more seriously. “Yes. I do.”
I smiled. My confidence boosted a little by that, I slide my hands toward his waistband, willing them to stop shaking. They didn’t, but I still managed to unbutton and unzip his pants.
He must have noticed my nervousness, because he placed one of his hands over mine. “You don’t have to do this… if you’re not ready.”
“No, I’m ready,” I replied, my voice a little shaky but determined. I wasn’t going to come this far and not see it through. Absolutely not. Taylor stared at me for a moment, then nodded and returned his hand to my hair.
“Okay.”
I took a deep breath, then pushed Taylor’s jeans down a little, just enough to reveal his erection to me. It was every bit as large as I expected, and kind of… beautiful. That was a strange word, I thought, to describe a dick, but I couldn’t think of anything else more appropriate. I glanced up at him for reassurance, but he was blushing and looking away. Not knowing quite what else to do, I leaned down and tentatively licked the head.
“Fuck!” He threw his head back and gripped my hair hard. I couldn’t help growling at the feeling of it and his body jumped underneath me. “Fuck, Sam.”
That seemed like a pretty good reaction, I thought. Still staring up at him, I licked the head again. His hips bucked up and he tugged at my hair. He looked absolutely gorgeous, and it turned me on so much to know I was causing all those reactions.
“Please… don’t stop.”
I had absolutely no intention of stopping, not when he looked so amazingly erotic like that. I licked him from base to tip, then swirled my tongue around the tip. I only knew what felt good for me, but I hoped the same would work on him. His whole body began to tremble, so I knew I was doing something right. I watched the way he trembled and shook as I slowly closed my lips around him, taking a few inches at a time into my mouth.
Taylor groaned, and I could see his knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge of the couch. He still held my hair tightly and I couldn’t help moaning around his cock as I swallowed more of it. It wasn’t easy, exactly, but it felt way better than I could have imagined. Taylor mumbled incoherently beneath me, spurring me on. I wanted to see how far I could go. Finally, I felt him hit the back of my throat. I pulled back for a second, just to catch my breath, then dove back down onto him.
Taylor screamed out loud, his upper body lifting partway off the couch. It scared me a little, but I didn’t think it was a bad reaction. And I certainly wasn’t going to stop, not now that I had had a taste of him. I sucked his cock greedily. I wanted more. His hand slid up to rub up and down my back, then grasp my hip. I stared up at him, my head bobbing up and down as hard and fast as I could.
He slid his hand down to my ass and squeezed. “Sam… so good…”
I moaned around his cock again, vaguely aware that the vibrations probably felt really good. He squeezed my ass harder, his hips bucking upward and pushing his cock even further down my throat. I pulled back to catch my breath, panting hard. “God, Jordan.”
“Yeah, Sam?” He asked, breathless. “You like it?”
He had to ask? “Umm… yeah.”
“And you thought you wouldn’t be good,” he replied, smirking as he gave my ass another squeeze.
I moaned, and in spite of myself, called out his name. “Jordan…”
He smirked and squeeze my ass again, slower and harder this time. “Do you like that?”
“Yeah…” I gasped out.
His hand traveled back a bit further, slipping between my legs and pressing gently. Even through my jeans and underwear, I could feel his fingers pressing against me. My eyes fluttered shut and I whimpered at the feel of it. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough. “Jordan…”
“Yes, Sam?” he asked, pressing a bit harder against me.
I moaned. “God… please touch me.”
His eyes widened. “Are… are you sure?”
“Yes,” I replied, but I could still see his hesitance. Even though it pained me to do it, I knew how to get him to agree to it. “Please, Jordan.”
His eyes fell closed and he pulled me down for another kiss. He kissed me deeply, pulling back only as he began to unbutton and unzip my jeans. “Sam… god, I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I replied.
He pushed my jeans and boxer briefs down over my hips, stopping when he could reach no further. I sat up and wiggled the rest of the way out of them, and he took the opportunity to kick his off as well. As soon as we were both naked, he grasped my shoulders and pulled me back down onto him, kissing me again. The feeling of our bodies pressed together, flesh against flesh, made me moan. It seemed every new feeling was so intense that I didn’t know how I could ever cope with what was still left to come. I started to tremble. “Jordan… please…”
“Shh, it’s okay, baby,” he murmured, rubbing my back. After a moment, he held two fingers up to my lips.
It took me a second to realize what he wanted. I darted my tongue out hesitantly, licking the tips of his fingers. Like everything else, it just wasn’t enough. I sucked them into my mouth eagerly, swirling my tongue around them. Taylor moaned and rolled his hips up against me, our erections pressing together in the most wonderful way. “Fuck, Sam…”
I swirled my tongue around his fingers again, making sure they were completely coated, then pulled back. “Jordan…”
Taylor pressed his lips to mine before I had a chance to finish begging him again, but he already knew what I wanted. He reached his hand down, sliding it between my legs, just barely brushing up against my entrance. It was only the slightest touch, but it still made me whimper into his mouth.
He pulled back and stared at me intently, pressing his fingers up against me. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”
I moaned at the slight pressure, then shook my head. “No. Please don’t stop.”
“Okay, baby,” he replied with a nod. He pressed his fingers against me again, the tip of one just barely sliding into me. “God, Sam…”
I whimpered pathetically. It did hurt a little, but that feeling was quickly consumed by a wave of pleasure. “Fuck… Jordan…”
“Are you okay?” He asked, brushing my cheek with his other hand.
“Yes… please…” I couldn’t manage any other words. There simply weren’t any words that could adequately describe the need I felt, the wonderful ache building inside me.
He pushed more of his finger in, painfully slowly, until I felt his knuckles brushing against me. “Fuck, baby. So tight.”
“Oh god…” I gasped out.
Taylor leaned his forehead against mine. “You alright?”
“Fuck yes,” I replied.
He laughed lightly. “Good, huh?”
“So good,” I said. Even the times I had done this to myself couldn’t have prepared me for this. It was better than anything I could have imagined.
He slid his finger almost all the way out, making me whimper, then pushed it back in quickly. He began to pump it in and out, building a delicious rhythm. A white hot heat was coursing through my body, and I couldn’t focus on anything but that rhythm. “God… feels so good…”
Taylor ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my neck. The combination of sensations did nothing to quench my desire. I moaned loudly. “Jordan… more…”
He pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yes,” I reassured him.
Taylor bit his lip hard, and I knew he was afraid he would hurt me. But I didn’t care if it did hurt. I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything else. Slowly, he added a second finger, shaking nearly as hard as I was. “Oh fuck, Zac…”
I growled loudly at the sound of my name. My name. Not some pretend person Taylor wished I was. No, that was my real name that had just left his lips along with the most delicious moan I had ever heard. It was the same name I had heard him say as million times before, but never like that. It seemed to echo through my body, only serving to intensify all the other new feelings happening to me.