Tight Jeans
The next morning, I woke up alone. The bed was still warm, a tiny reminder that someone had been next to me all night long. Once my senses all came back to me, I heard the tell-tale sound of the shower running. I stretched my arms and stared up at the ceiling, slowly letting myself adjust to being awake.
It felt odd to be happy that the person I had spent the night with was still there, and it felt even worse to realize that. I didn’t like thinking of myself as a horrible person. I had done what I thought necessary to protect myself. Seamus made me reconsider all of that, though. Seamus made me reconsider practically everything I thought I knew.
I was still stretched out across the bed when the shower stopped. A few seconds later, Seamus wandered out of the bathroom with only a thin towel wrapped around his waist. He gave me a sheepish smile when he noticed I was staring and ran a hand through his damp hair.
“I don’t suppose I could borrow some clothes? I don’t really fancy the idea of wearing the same thing I wore yesterday or wearing this towel down the hallway to my room.”
I chuckled and pointed toward my duffel bag. I wouldn’t have minded at all if he wore nothing but that towel for the rest of the day, but I could at least see that it wasn’t really practical. What a shame. When Seamus dropped the towel and wiggled into a pair of my jeans, sans underwear, I didn’t even try to hide the fact that I was staring at his ass. He gave me a quick glance and a wink over his shoulder, because of course he knew I was staring, then pulled one of my t-shirts over his head. Faded jeans and a red shirt. It wasn’t terribly obvious that it was all mine, but knowing my luck, someone would probably still recognize that Seamus had gone shopping at Taylor Mart for the day’s outfit.
Our walk was scheduled a little later than usual that day, for no apparent reason other than to give us a half day off. Whatever the reason for it, I certainly wasn’t complaining. My only complaint was that I couldn’t spend the entire day in bed with Seamus; even if it was almost a day off, we still had to check out early. Still, it gave me time to take a nice leisurely shower – a luxury that I didn’t ever take for granted on tour.
When I came out of the bathroom, Seamus was lacing up his boots and his few bags were sitting on the bed next to him. From the corner of my eye, I could see him steal a glance at me when I dropped my towel and wiggled into a similar outfit to his.
I gathered up the rest of my things – clothes scattered around the floor, laptop and cell phone charging in a chair, toothbrush and so on in the bathroom – while Seamus finished lacing his boots. He was standing in front of the mirror, tugging a little on his – my – jeans when I finally rejoined him.
“Problems?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Only that I probably won’t be able to reproduce if I wear these all day,” he replied.
“I didn’t force you to wear them,” I said, throwing my bags over my shoulder. I took one last look up and down Seamus’ body before grabbing the room key, and smirked. “In fact, I’m usually trying to get you out of your pants.”
“True, true,” he replied, picking up his own belongings. “Come on, let’s go. I don’t feel like sitting around when I could be out exploring Richmond. Never been here before.”
For half a second, I considered offering Seamus my hand. I reconsidered it for two reasons. One, I was pretty sure it would throw my balance of completely if I tried to carry all my bags and keep him tethered to my side. Two, I just wasn’t ready for that. Being seen in public with him didn’t bother me; I’d certainly never denied the rumors and allegations about my sexuality. It was being seen by my brothers that bothered me. They could be worse critics than even the cheapest drugstore tabloid.
Naturally, they were both already waiting in hotel lobby when Seamus and I walked out of the elevator. I saw them both give Seamus a look from head to toe, and then a look at me. Isaac quickly turned his head back to Bex, who was rattling off our schedule for when we met back up at the venue that afternoon. But Zac kept his eyes trained on me, his silent judgment written all over his face. That struck me as more than a little odd; he knew this was happening. He even commented on it last night. I knew no one was a big fan of my tendency to fall into bed with our supporting acts, but something about the set of Zac’s jaw and the tight line of his mouth seemed different.
I didn’t have much time to think about that before Bex had brought me into the band meeting, though. I made a promise to myself to ask him what his deal is later, but I had no doubt that by lunch, I wouldn’t remember.
The mere thought of food had me suddenly acutely aware that I hadn’t had any coffee yet. I glanced around the room nervously until my eyes fell on the little continental breakfast stand on the far side of the room, well away from the couch we were gathered around.
Seamus must have followed my eyes, because he placed his hand on the small of my back and leaned in a little bit closer to my side. “You want a cup? Black, right?”
“Yeah, thanks,” I replied, giving him a little smile that I’m sure wasn’t as subtle as I would have liked.
Zac’s eyes left me for just long enough to watch Seamus walk out of earshot. When he turned back, there was an obvious sneer painted across his face. “Really, Tay? Wearing your clothes and waiting on you? Didn’t take long to train that one.”
“I didn’t train him. That’s disgusting,” I replied, crossing my arms. “What the hell does it matter what he does?”
“You mean who he does?”
“I mean go fuck yourself.”
Have I mentioned I’m not generally a pleasant person before I’ve had my coffee? Zac normally knew better than to bother me in my uncaffeinated state, but he also loved to push my buttons.
“You know, I thought those jeans looked a little tight,” Isaac remarked.
“Were you checking out Taylor’s boyfriend’s ass?” Zac asked.
“He’s not my – okay. Fine. He’s my boyfriend.”
I realized a moment too late that Seamus had walked back within earshot just in time to hear those particular words leave my mouth. A faint blush actually crept across his cheeks as he handed a cup of coffee to me. The moment threatened to be really awkward, but Bex interrupted it with the continued reading of our itinerary. I’ve never been more thankful for her presence than right then.
Although he didn’t say a word, he stayed close to my side while Bex finished running through her little speech. I could feel his body heat next to me, tempting me to look at him or touch him, but I had to resist. It took all of my strength and left me clutching so desperately at my coffee that I was lucky I didn’t crush the little paper cup.
When she finally finished talking, I was the first one out the door to load my bags back onto the bus. Seamus followed right behind me; I could still feel him there, like I had just developed this sense for when his body was near mine. Once our bags were loaded and our hands empty – except for the coffee cup I was still clinging desperately too – he placed his hand on the small of my back and gave me a look. I didn’t need to ask what the look was for; I could see the question in his eyes.
“I’m fine,” I said softly, trying not to let my eyes wander to see how much attention we were attracting.
“Are you?”
I sighed. “No, but I will be. Let’s go find some better coffee.”
Seamus gave me a little nod and used that hand on my back to steer me away from the bus. Neither of us knew our way around the city, but we were downtown. There had to be a coffee shop nearby. Even if there wasn’t, I didn’t think I minded just wandering aimlessly with him all day. Words weren’t even necessary, although of course Seamus couldn’t stay quiet for long.
“So… your brothers?”
“Sorry about them,” I replied.
“No apology necessary,” he said, giving me a little grin. “I ought to thank them, really. They finally got you to admit that we’re together.”
“I think you just like seeing me embarrassed,” I replied. Even though I was pouting, I didn’t try to shy away from his touch. I really didn’t even care if people saw us together, side by side with his hand still resting on my back. It felt too comfortable, too right, to worry about repercussions.
“Maybe I do. Is that a problem?”
“Would you stop if it was?”
“Probably not,” he replied with a hint of a chuckle, then gave me a more serious look. “But I don’t want to make you truly uncomfortable. If it’s bothering you or making your brothers get on your case…”
I shook my head, but that didn’t stop him from pulling back, his hand falling away from my back and the distance between our bodies increasing by a few inches. I didn’t like it. It was strange how quickly I had grown to love his nearness, and I found myself leaning closer to him, urging him to give me that little bit of affection again. He didn’t, but his face softened a bit.
“Seamus… no. It’s fine,” I said, but my voice gave away that it wasn’t really. “You know I come with lots of baggage. Unfortunately, my asshole brothers are just a part of that.”
He gave another little chuckle. “If I couldn’t handle the baggage, I wouldn’t have even tried. I think you’re the one who can’t seem to carry that load, and you don’t even see that I’m offering you a hand with it.”
“You definitely are a songwriter, aren’t you?” I asked. Before he could answer, I spotted the sign for a coffee shop, and placed my hand on his back to nudge him toward it.
“I suppose so,” he replied, wrapping his arm around me as well. “Am I getting through to you at all?”
“Nothing is going to get through to me before I’ve got some espresso in my system,” I replied with a grin, holding the coffee shop door open for him. I could feel the smile spreading further and further across my face as the glorious aroma of fresh coffee hit my nose; I was like a kid in a candy shop.
“Why does it feel like you’re cheating on me with a latte?” Seamus asked.
“Probably because I am.” I grinned, giving Seamus’ side a little squeeze before jumping in line.
He only laughed and shook his head at me. I didn’t even mind; I knew I looked ridiculous, grinning and rocking on my heels. My caffeine addiction had been the butt of jokes for years, and it had long ago stopped bothering me – as long as I was able to feed the addiction, of course. And who was I to deny my boyfriend a little amusement at my expense?
Boyfriend.
The word still sounded weird to my ears, still felt a little wrong in my mouth. But it was the good sort of wrong. The kind that makes your stomach do somersaults and tie itself up in knots. Something told me it had the same effect on Seamus. Maybe it was that little gleam in his eye as he watched me drool over the menu of drinks and pastries. Maybe it was the way he kept his hand a little possessively on my hip. Whatever it was, I liked it.