December 12, 1998

We had just come home from our first world tour, and yet somehow this was the least merry holiday season I could remember having so far in my life.

It was easy to pinpoint the reason for that. It all came back to Taylor. The day we came home, he found out his girlfriend Krystal had started seeing someone else during the tour. Taylor had spent literally hours trying to pick out the perfect present for her in Bali, finally settling on a pink and blue scarf and a handmade bracelet in every color of the rainbow. He was so excited to wrap them up and give them to her, but now he was stuck with them and his apparently broken heart.

What he was going to do with said presents had been a constant argument with our parents for the past week. I sat in the hallway while they went for round four hundred and thirty seven, with Mom still insisting the right thing to do was to give her the gift anyway, no matter how much she had hurt him.

Taylor reached such a high octave in his response that I wasn’t sure what he had said at all, but I knew it definitely wasn’t an agreement with Mom’s conclusion.

I decided that what I needed to deal with all this arguing was a big gingerbread man, so I pulled myself to my feet and headed toward the kitchen. Unfortunately, Taylor chose exactly that moment to round the corner, and he stomped right into me, hardly even noticing that I was there.

“Hey!” He shouted. “Watch where you’re going, Zac.”

“You’re the one who ran into me!” I squealed back.

Taylor rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Zac. I’ve got bigger problems than you right now.”

“Trust me, we all know,” I replied, rolling my eyes.

I braced myself for another shouting match or even a punch, but to my surprise Taylor seemed to crumble at my words. I thought he even looked like he might cry, and I didn’t want that at all. Maybe it made me a big sappy loser, but I hated to see anyone cry, especially my older brothers.

“I’m sorry, Tay,” I said softly.

He just shrugged. “Whatever.”

“Hey, look,” I said, suddenly noticing that we were standing right in the door frame, underneath the sprig of mistletoe that Mom insisted on hanging up every year.

Taylor glanced up, and something about the long line of his jaw and neck took my breath away. I knew it was wrong and weird of me to notice, but my brother was probably the best looking person in the world, boy or girl. While his eyes were averted, I stood on my tiptoes and planted a wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek.

“What—Zac?” He gasped, looking back down at me.

“Sorry,” I replied, glancing down at the carpet.

“No, it’s… it’s okay,” Taylor said. “And I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain lately. I just really liked her, you know?”

“I know,” I replied, even though I really didn’t. I was starting to think I was a late bloomer; I hadn’t really even had a crush on a girl yet, let alone my first girlfriend. I didn’t know why Taylor suddenly wanted to talk to me about Krystal, but I felt like I was supposed to say something. “You’ll be okay, Tay. There’s gotta be somebody way better for you than her out there.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Tay said, a smile creeping across his face. It was the first one I’d seen on it all week.

He leaned down and planted a kiss on my cheek, and I decided maybe this wasn’t going to be such a bad Christmas after all.

****

December 24, 2008

Last Christmas passed me by in a blur, but this year, I finally felt like I could relax and breathe again. Until the tenth of August passed me by and I could say that an entire, relatively uneventful year had passed since I had woken up in the hospital, I couldn’t feel like everything was okay.

But now, it was.

We were all gathered at our parents’ house for our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. Every year, the crowd was a little bigger, and this year it had expanded by three. I was still getting used to the whole being a dad thing, but so far, I didn’t think I had been so bad at it. When Shepherd woke from his nap and no doubt needed a diaper change, I sprang up before Kate, just to prove that I could do it and wasn’t totally incompetent.

I really wasn’t. With four younger siblings, I’d had plenty of practice. Still, I wasn’t surprised when I heard footsteps down the hallway, coming to check on me.

“I’ve got it under control,” I replied without turning around.

“I know you do,” Taylor said.

I jumped a little at the sound of his voice, not expecting it to be him. I gave Shepherd a soft kiss on the forehead, then turned to face Taylor as I threw out the old diaper.

“You’ve grown up a lot,” Taylor remarked, leaning against the door frame. “That sounds bad. I just mean… god, sometimes I wonder what happened to you, you know? When you were gone—in the coma. It’s like a different Zac came back from it and I’m still getting to know you again.”

“I’m still the same,” I said, taking a few steps toward him. “At least, I think I am. As crazy as it all was, would it really be that surprising if I were actually some parallel universe version of me?”

“With everything else crazy that’s happened in our lives, I don’t think I would even bat an eyelash if you said you were,” Taylor replied. “But you’re not the same. I mean, you are, but… just a different version of the same guy. Older, wiser… maybe even a little sexier.”

“Keep going.” I grinned. “I think you’re onto something now.”

“More conceited,” Taylor said with a smirk. His eyes flitted upward, and he laughed. “Would you fucking believe that?”

I followed his gaze, and saw a familiar sight. The same ratty old piece of mistletoe that I was certain was older than me. It was in a different location in an entirely different house, but this was where it had all started for us.

“At this point,” I said, leaning in and capturing Taylor’s mouth for a quick, but deep kiss, “I would believe anything.”