Dinner Rolls
Taylor could hardly believe that Shiloh had agreed so easily to dinner with his family. It seemed so simple that he feared there had to be a catch. She was going to ask something more of him. He knew, though, that whatever she asked – as long as it wasn’t for him to stay away from her forever – he would do it.
His mom hadn’t told him what she planned on cooking for the family, so he wasn’t entirely sure what he should bring. That left him with no option but to go shopping and buy everything that struck his fancy. Taylor justified the extravagant spending spree by reminding himself that he needed food for his house too and didn’t know when he would feel like venturing outside again.
Out of the bags and bags of food he brought home, he found the ingredients for a green bean casserole. He hadn’t even meant to buy those particular items, but it seemed that he had. Green bean casserole was Charlotte’s favorite, the dish that she always brought for big dinners with Taylor’s family. Even though it pained him a little to think about it, he decided it was a fitting tribute to her to cook her favorite dish.
A few hours later, with the casserole tucked into a fancy container meant to keep it warm that had been a wedding shower present, Taylor rushed around his bedroom looking for his other shoe. He had showered will the casserole was in the oven and now he was nearly ready to leave. He even looked pretty presentable; his clothes were still a little wrinkled, which he was sure his mom would comment on, but he didn’t think the dark circles under his eyes would stand out amongst his family right then.
He finally found the other shoe just as the doorbell rang. The sound itself was enough to soothe some of his fears; at least Shiloh hadn’t backed out at the last possible second, Taylor thought. He stuffed his foot in the shoe and hurried to answer the door.
Taylor flung open the door and gave Shiloh a smile practically before he even saw that it really was her on the other side of the door. “Hey, Shy. Are you ready to go?”
“Mhm,” she replied, looking uncharacteristically sheepish.
“What’s wrong?” Taylor asked, looking her up and down. She looked the best that she had looked since Taylor had returned to Tulsa. Not that she didn’t normally look good, but her bright blue sweater dress gave her that pregnant glow that she had remarked on a few days before and it looked like she had even tried to curl her hair. Taylor couldn’t help being happy that she had put in some effort into looking nice for his family.
“Nothing…” she said unconvincingly, shifting her weight around on her heels before finally pulling her hands out from behind her back and revealing a large tupperware box. “I made dinner rolls.”
“You made dinner rolls?”
Shiloh nodded. “I am capable of cooking, you know. I mean, these were just frozen. But I… it’s okay that I’m bringing something, right? I know how much it takes to feed the Hanson army.”
“Yeah,” Taylor replied, chuckling. “You’re allowed to bring food. In fact, let me grab my casserole and we can hit the road.”
“I bring frozen rolls, and you bring a casserole. Way to outdo me.”
Taylor chuckled as he scurried into the kitchen and picked up the casserole container. He grabbed his car keys from the table and hurried back to the door where Shiloh still stood waiting.
“You didn’t have to bring anything, you know,” he said, guiding her toward his car and opening the door. “I’m just glad you’re going. It’ll be good, seeing… everyone.”
Taylor let out a sigh of relief that Shiloh didn’t point out that one person would definitely be missing from the family dinner. He knew that she had to be thinking it, just as he was. He didn’t think they would ever stop feeling like someone was missing; if it wasn’t Zac, it was Charlotte. Their family would never really be whole again.
Their family, Taylor thought to himself. He liked the sound of that.
Shiloh cranked the radio up and sang along softly as they drove across town to Taylor’s parents’ house. Taylor wondered when the last time she had been to their house was, but he didn’t feel brave enough to ask. He had lots of questions that he wasn’t brave enough to ask her. As they drove on and neared his parents’ home, Taylor began to wonder if it had been a good idea to bring her.
The gate was open and even from the road Taylor could see that the driveway was packed full of cars. He recognized most of them – Isaac and Mollie’s, Jessica’s boyfriend’s – but a few weren’t so familiar. He supposed that was just a side effect of running away. Everyone’s lives went on while he was gone. They didn’t need him there to keep going.
He needed Zac, though. And he might never have him again.
“Tay?” Shiloh said. “What are we waiting on?”
Taylor glanced around and realized he had parked his car but still sat frozen in the driver’s seat. Shiloh was eying him a little nervously, her lips twitching like she wasn’t sure whether a smirk was appropriate or not.
“Nothing,” he replied. “Just thinking…”
“You might hurt yourself. Come on, now. Let’s get this show started.”
There was a hint of cynicism to her voice, and Taylor wondered if Shiloh were just as nervous about dinner as he was. What were they going to say? Did everyone even know that she was pregnant? If so, did they know who the father was? He busied himself with helping her out of the car and tried to bite his tongue to keep from asking those questions. He would find out the answers soon enough.
He wanted to take Shiloh’s hand, but he didn’t know how she would take it, and they were both too bogged down with tupperware, anyway. Taylor barely managed to raise his hand to ring the doorbell without splattering casserole all over the front steps. Only a few seconds passed before the door was flung open to reveal Taylor’s mother. She looked surprised for a split second, but that surprise was soon replaced with a characteristically diplomatic smile.
“Hey, mom,” Taylor said, scooting a little closer to Shiloh. “Sorry, I, umm… I forgot to call and tell you I invited Shiloh along. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course,” she replied, smiling and reaching a hand out to take the container of rolls from Shiloh. “It’s great to see you, dear. It seems like it’s been forever…”
“Yeah, months…” Shiloh trailed off, then plastered on a fake smile. “We brought food, though. I figured you might need some extra dinner rolls, so… well, it was the least I could do.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to. But come on in.”
Taylor gave Shiloh a little smile and lead her into the house behind his mother. That hadn’t been so bad, he decided. If only everyone were as diplomatic as his mom. He knew that wasn’t the case, though. He could only hope that whatever was thrown their way, Shiloh took it well.
Everyone was already gathered in the kitchen when the three of them walked in. Diana directed Taylor on where to sit the casserole, then raised her voice a little to be heard over the din. Taylor couldn’t remember the last time their house had been so full, but he had a feeling it was just after Charlotte’s funeral. He tried not to think about that as his mom led them all in a short prayer, then instructed everyone to help themselves to the food.
Shiloh stood back with Taylor and watched with amusement as his younger siblings and Isaac’s two boys helped themselves to food, then headed off to the living room to eat around the television. He nudged her toward the table and gave her a small nod of permission.
The dinner table was awkwardly quiet as everyone dug into their food. With so many people in the family, even Diana’s best attempts to teach everyone table manners hadn’t really succeeded. Taylor couldn’t remember a time, except perhaps right around Charlotte’s death, when they had eaten a meal in silence. He missed the mindless chatter, but he didn’t know how to possibly get it started. As it turned out, he didn’t have to.
“So, Shiloh,” Jessica said, smiling innocently at her. “When are you due?”
Shiloh glanced at Taylor, then back at Jessica. “Umm, about five weeks.”
“You know, I’ve been worried about you, dear,” Diana said. “You haven’t been around much lately and I just didn’t know how you and the baby were doing.”
“Zac obviously wasn’t very concerned,” Isaac mumbled.
Shiloh’s fork fell out of her hand and clattered noisily against her plate. It was the only sound in the room, as everyone turned to stare at Isaac. He might have intended for his remarks not to be heard by everyone, but Taylor doubted that. Did Isaac know? How could he?
Diana cleared her throat and gave Isaac something of a glare. “Yes, well, Shiloh has still been practically a part of the family for years, even if she and Zac aren’t together.”
“But why aren’t she and Zac together, Mom? We all know it, even if she won’t admit it.”
“You want me to admit it?” Shiloh asked, pushing her chair back to stand up.
Taylor gaped at her and grasped her arm, but she shook him off and stood up anyway.
“Okay. I’ll tell you. The baby is Taylor’s. Are you all happy now?”
No one said a word as Shiloh scurried out of the room.