A Heart Unfortified, A Mind Impatient
“All I’m saying is Sonic and Sally were the cutest couple ever,” Justine mumbled, taking a bite of her sandwich as punctuation to her statement. She nodded her head solemnly, as though she had just explained the meaning of life. Maybe she had.
I didn’t bother acknowledging her statement. She and Zac were locked in what looked to be an epic discussion of comic book characters and I figured it was hopeless to even attempt an interruption.
“So, the cast list gets posted today,” Whitley stated, evidently reaching the same conclusion.
I took a sip of my soda and nodded. “Yeah. Are you nervous? I have no idea what to expect.”
“Don’t be so modest,” she replied, giving me a small nudge. “You know you rocked everyone’s socks off reading for Ophelia.”
“Well, I suppose I did alright,” I conceded. “But I think Donovan’s socks were the only ones effected.”
“Whatever! Spiderman and Mary Jane are way more epic and you know it,” Zac declared, then leaned over my plate to grab a french fry. Still chewing on it, he turned his head to me and asked, “Did you say you find out what part you got today?”
“Sure do, Mr. Manners. Did I say you could eat that fry?”
“If you feel that strongly about it, I could give it back,” he replied, leaning over my plate and pretending to gag himself.
“Oh that’s disgusting. Why are we friends with boys?” Whitley cried out, dropping an already-ketchuped fry back to her own plate.
“Kidding, kidding,” Zac replied, a grin taking over his entire face. “And you obviously keep me around because of my rugged good lucks and winning personality.”
“Yup, that must be it,” I replied, poking him in the face with a fry. He just smiled and plucked it from my fingers, shoving it in his mouth before I could protest.
Justine looked up from her food, looking as though a thought had just struck her. “Hey, Toria, didn’t you say your mom was coming to visit soon?”
“I thought she was,” I said, frowning, but trying to keep my voice light and casual. “But I haven’t heard from her since just before the semester started. I don’t think she has called Aunt Patty either, so I really have no idea.”
“Oh,” Justine replied. She knew well enough what I was thinking, and thankfully didn’t feel the need to probe the subject further. “So, when can you find out what part you got?”
“The cast list gets posted… well, 20 minutes ago, actually,” Whitley replied, glancing down at her watch.
I looked down at my plate and felt my stomach filling up with tiny butterflies that would surely protest even one more bite of food. “I’m nervous. I never get this nervous. I don’t wanna look.”
“Well I’ve got class, so I’ll have to wait. Or you can tell me what I got. I’m not too worried,” Whitley replied, with a casual wave of her hand. Usually I would have been just like her, but being a small fish in a huge pond kind of changed that. I couldn’t be certain that I would get any part at all, let alone the one I really wanted.
Zac leaned against me, “I’ll go with you, if you want some moral support. But only if you let me finish those fries.”
“Aww, isn’t that sweet?” I replied, giggling. “Stuff your face and let’s go.”
“Yes, sir!”
Ten minutes later we stood in front of the Performing Arts Center, the butterflies in my stomach growing to terrifying size and threatening to come flitting up my throat. As I tried to steel myself to enter the building, Donovan pushed through the doors and shot me a grin.
“Congrats,” he said, coming unnecessarily close to my side as he brushed past us.
I raised an eyebrow but didn’t have the courage to ask what that meant. I had a feeling I already knew the answer, though, and it did surprisingly little to settle my stomach.
“Who was that?” Zac asked, poking me in the back and prodding me toward the door.
I wiggled out of his reach and pulled open one of the doors. “That was Donovan. He’s the star actor here, I guess. I’m betting he got the part of Hamlet.”
“Looks like what he really wants is you,” Zac replied, drumming on the back of my head as he followed me down the hallway. I was utterly convinced that it was impossible for Zac to be still for even one second at a time.
Swatting his hand away, I replied, “Stop being such a dork. He did ask me out, though. Kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“Well, he said we should run lines together or something. It was all very vague and non-commital, really,” I replied, shrugging it off.
I stopped in my tracks, seeing the bulletin board ahead of us with the words “CAST LIST” in giant curly letters and a long sheet of paper tacked up below that. Zac shoved me forward and I collided face first with the board. Directly in front of my eyes were the words I couldn’t quite believe.
Zac’s head landed on my shoulder and a second later he exclaimed, “Toria, that’s awesome!”
“Un-fucking-believable is more like it,” I replied, feeling a smile creeping across my face. I could feel my excitement building up inside and it felt like a jolt of electricity running through every single nerve ending. I had to do something. Spinning around to face him, I hugged Zac as tightly as I possibly could and squealed aloud. He lifted me up in the air like I weighed nothing and I squealed even louder and kicked my feet in the air.
“Careful now, or your boyfriend might get jealous of us,” Zac said, setting me gently back onto the carpeted floor.
I swatted at his face, “Not funny. He isn’t my boyfriend, he just plays one on stage.”
“Right, and I’m sure he’ll have to try really hard to make it believable.”
“Someone sounds a little jealous,” I replied, poking Zac’s stomach.
He feigned pain and clutched his stomach. Recovering quickly from his fictional wounds, he smiled. “Nope, not at all. Just trying to make sure you noticed the pathetic puppy dog eyes he was making at you. That boy’s got it bad, lady.”
“Right. Whatever you say,” I replied, shaking my head. “Here’s the plan – I’m gonna get my script now and you’re gonna shut up about Donovan.”
Zac mimed zipping his lips and gave me two thumbs up. Even when he wasn’t talking, the boy was verbose. His friendship would be interesting. There could be no other word for it.
“Come on, let me help you learn your lines!” Zac pleaded, plucking the script from my hands. I had been absent-mindedly trying to highlight my lines while also attempting to watch “Citizen Kane” for my film class. Neither one was getting the attention it deserved, mostly due to Zac’s persistence.
I stuffed my mouth full of popcorn and shook my head. “Not now, I’m trying to watch this film. We’re supposed to discuss it tomorrow in class and I have no idea what’s happening here.”
Zac ignored me and plunged ahead, flipping the book open to a random page and clearing his throat loudly. “Ahem – Lady, shall I lie in your lap?”
“Good lord, no,” I replied, laughing. I clutched the bowl of popcorn closer to my chest and scooted away from him.
“I mean my head upon your lap,” Zac replied, grabbing a handful of popcorn and stuffing his mouth full of it.
“Hey, my popcorn!” I screamed, shoving his face away.
With a mouthful of popcorn, crunching the kernels loudly, Zac forged on. “D’ya fink I meant country madders?”
“I think you’re disgusting, my lord.”
He grabbed the bowl of popcorn, but to my surprise set it to the side and flung himself into my lap. “That’s a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs.”
I poked Zac in the side. “Get thee to a nunnery! And off my lap!”
“Methink the lady doth protest too much,” he replied, giggling. “Oww, I’m ticklish!”
I smirked and slid my hands underneath Zac, making sure to tickle him as much as possible in the process. He writhed and giggled, and I gave him one good, hard shove. He tumbled out of my bed, a mass of still shaking limbs, and landed in the floor laughing.
“Fie on you!” He exclaimed, waving his fist in the air, then collapsing into another fit of laughter.
“Yeah, yeah, you bite your thumb at me, sir. Whatever,” I replied, picking up the script from where it had landed when I sent Zac rolling. The film was a lost cause, I decided, and pressed the stop button on the remote.
Zac picked himself up from the floor and grabbed the popcorn bowl. Shoving his mouth full, he spoke, “So, why’d you decide to come to VCU?”
“Oh, they gave me a scholarship,” I replied, wincing as the highlighter squeaked across the page, “Plus, my mom moved here last year to live with my aunt, after she divorced my dad. So she nagged me to come here.”
“Cool about the scholarship. Sucky about your mom, though,” Zac said. “My parents were all for me going here, since I’d have Tay here to keep an eye on me.”
“Keep an eye on you?” I asked, looking up from the script.
Zac climbed back onto the bed next to me. “Yup. They have this weird idea that I’m gonna go crazy at college. Start partying like crazy or something. I guess because Tay and Ike both did. Which makes one wonder why Tay would be the responsible one and watch over me, but whatever. So where are you from?”
“Blacksburg. And yeah, I could have gone to Virginia Tech. But going to the college my dad teaches at? Not my idea of fun,” I answered.
Zac nodded. “Makes sense. I’m from Arlington. Well, my family’s from Oklahoma originally and we’ve lived everywhere. But we liked Arlington best and ended up moving there for good when I was 8.”
“What are you guys, gypsies or something?”
“Or something,” Zac answered, smiling.
I swiped the highlighter across his face, leaving a bright pink streak across his cheek. “I’m just gonna assume you’re from a family of secret ninja assassins, then.”
“If I were a secret ninja assassin, why would I be in college?”
“Clearly it’s a cover-up,” I replied, nodding sagely.
“Riiiight,” Zac said, wiggling his eyebrows. “I’m actually stalking you, in fact. So, you gonna go out with that Donovan dweeb?”
“I dunno. Hadn’t given it much thought. I suppose, but it might get awkward. Dating other actors is never a good idea,” I replied. On second thought, I added, “Actually, dating in general is usually a bad idea for me.”