Such Perilous Circumstance
It felt so strange to be done with the play. Even though I still had classes in the theatre building for the rest of the semester, I was still overcome with this weird sense of freedom. My evenings were mine again. I could do whatever I wanted, which mostly meant that I spent even more of my waking hours with Zac. He certainly wasn’t complaining, though.
I hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to call either of my parents and see what their plans for Thanksgiving were. Instead, I called Aunt Patty and asked if me and Zac could come over for dinner at some point during the week, since I had my evenings free again. That way, I figured I could ask her about Thanksgiving first, and if she said I was welcome, I wouldn’t have to feel bad about telling Mom or Dad that I already plans. It wasn’t the most well thought out plan I’d ever had, but it seemed like the best way to go.
This time, Zac was far less nervous on the drive to her house, although he did still express concern that the dogs would try to eat him. But mostly, I could see that he was happy to spend time with my family. I liked that. My last boyfriend in high school had never wanted to see my family; maybe it was just because he knew the divorce was looming, but it still hurt my feelings that he would never come to my house. I liked that Zac was so eager to befriend what little bit of my family he had met.
We pulled into the driveway at her house right around dinner time, and there was a strange silence after I knocked on the door. Seconds later, Aunt Patty swung it open, a big smile on her face. “I already put the dogs in the basement,” she explained, obviously noticing our confusion. “Mo is just finishing up dinner, so come on in.”
I followed Patty inside, Zac trailing behind me with his hand securely in mine. Just as Aunt Patty said, Mo is standing over the stove, stirring something that looks and smells suspiciously like chicken and dumplings – one of his southern specialties. Aunt Patty ushered us to the table, where a regular feast was laid out for us, in the form of green beans, corn on the cob and macaroni salad. Zac’s eyes seemed to grow three sizes when he saw it all and he was filling up a plate before Patty had even finished telling him to help himself.
Soon we were all sitting at the table, enjoying the meal that Patty and Mo cooked for us. Zac kept telling them they shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble, but I could tell by the way he went back for seconds and thirds that he really doesn’t mind. And I know that Mo loves too cook and would have prepared as big a meal for just the two of them. Maybe he went a little overboard since he knew I was bringing my boyfriend over, but I don’t think anyone present was complaining.
After we finished dinner, Aunt Patty ushered us all into the living room and we sat around chatting over coffee and banana pudding. Naturally, she and Mo had tons of questions for Zac – how we met, where he was from, what he was majoring in, etc. Mo was a high school band director, so it wasn’t long before he had drawn Zac into an in depth discussion of marching band music. I took the opportunity to get Aunt Patty’s attention and ask her about Thanksgiving.
“Aunt Patty,” I said, trying not to sound too much like I was asking for a huge favor and mostly failing. “What are you and Mo doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Oh, we’re going down to North Carolina to visit Mo’s sister,” she replied.
I tried not to let my disappointment show. “Oh. Oh, okay.”
“Aren’t you going home to your dad’s?”
“I haven’t talked to him yet,” I replied, diving into my banana pudding with renewed interest just so that I wouldn’t have to meet Patty’s eyes.
I heard the click of her coffee cup being set down on the glass coaster. “Well, have you talked to your mama?”
I shook my head.
“Oh, honey,” she said, her voice low.
That did not sound good at all. Although I was afraid of what she might say next, I forced myself to raise my head and look back at her.
“I don’t like being the one to tell you, but Jeff’s taking her up to Snowshoe Mountain for the weekend.”
“Just the two of them,” I replied, and it wasn’t a question. It was obvious from the way she said it that Mom was going on some romantic vacation that she hadn’t even felt the need to tell me about.
Aunt Patty only nodded, concern and pity written all over her face. I hated that this whole divorce mess has caused so much of my family to look at me that way. It wasn’t my fault any of this was happening, yet I still seemed to be the one hurting most from it. It just wasn’t fair.
I stood up suddenly, clearing my throat. From the corner of my eye, I saw Zac turn back to look at me. With my voice raised a little bit, I said, “I’m just going to take my plate back to the kitchen.”
Aunt Patty offered me a small nod, still looking at me with all that pity on her face. Mo told me not to trouble myself with the dishes. Zac reached out for me, but I was already several steps away from him and he ended up with nothing more than a handful of air.
I dumped the rest of my banana pudding in the trash can, my appetite for it completely gone. As I turned to walk back to the living room, I found that I really had no desire to rejoin the dinner party. The staircase was located just inside the kitchen, though, and it provided me the perfect escape. I slipped up the stairs quietly, just out of view of the three of them in the living room, and hurried to the bedroom I had called mine for the summer.
There were times when, despite my age, I really felt like an old fashioned temper tantrum was perfectly called for. This just so happened to be one of those times. When everything else seemed to be going right, I still couldn’t escape this stupid family drama. Maybe my dad would be fine with me coming home for the weekend, but I couldn’t imagine it would be fun for either of us. And even that didn’t solve the problem of my mother and how she constantly put her boyfriend ahead of me. I didn’t even dare dream of calling her to talk about our Thanksgiving plans.
I wasn’t mad at Aunt Patty and Uncle Mo, though. Even though they knew what I was going through, it wasn’t up to them to fix it. I wasn’t their daughter. It was nice enough of them to take me and my mother in – even when there was really no reason for me to be there, too – but that was really all I could ask of them. No, I wasn’t mad at them at all.
And I also wasn’t mad at Zac.
In fact, his invitation to spend Thanksgiving with him was feeling more and more appealing. Maybe I would just go with him and not bother telling my mother or my father what my plans were. If I was childish enough to throw a temper tantrum at my aunt’s house, then running away to my boyfriend’s house for the weekend didn’t seem outside the realm of possibility, either.
As if he had known I was thinking about him, a knock came at the door, followed soon after by Zac’s voice. “Toria? You in there?”
I wiped away a few tears, hoping I hadn’t smeared my mascara too horribly. “Yeah, I am.”
He stepped through the door, but paused at the bottom of the couple of steps leading past the closet and into this big, weird attic bedroom. He shifted his weight back and forth, stuffing his hands awkwardly in his pockets. “You okay? Want some company?”
I scooted back toward the wall wordlessly, freeing up half the bed for him and hoping he got the hint.
He did, although he still looked sheepish and unsure as he shuffled across the room and laid down on the bed next to me. Without a word of his own, he reached for my hand, entwining his fingers with mine. I figured he was waiting for me to make the first move or say the first words, but I didn’t know what to say or do.
We lay there in silence for a while, and I knew Zac was dying to talk, but he probably had no clue what to say. I really felt sorry him having to put up with my constant drama. I cleared my throat and turned to look at him. “I’m sorry I ran out like that.”
“It’s alright,” he said. “Your aunt said you were probably upset… she didn’t say why, though.”
“She did? Oh…”
Zac nodded, chewing nervously on his bottom lip. “You wanna talk about it?”
I shook my head, but I could see Zac wasn’t going to let me get away with that. With a heavy sigh, I said, “It’s just this Thanksgiving thing. Apparently Mom already has plans with her boyfriend, which she told Aunt Patty about but not me. And of course Patty and Mo have their own plans – which is fine, really – so I can’t stay here, either.”
“And your dad?”
“Haven’t talked to him yet. I guess that’s the next step, and it’ll probably be okay, but…”
“But it’s still upsetting, I know,” Zac replied, wrapping his arm around my waist. “You know there’s still another option, right?”
I nodded. “I know. And it’s really sounding like the best choice now. Not that it sounded bad before.”
“Nice save,” he replied, a little smirk playing at the corner of his lips.
“You know what I mean,” I said, returning his smirk. “Of course spending more time with you sounds good, but it’s just… a big step, isn’t it? We haven’t even really been together for that long.”
“A month on Tuesday, if you don’t count when we were fighting.”
My smirk turned into a genuine smile at the realization that Zac had kept a close count of how long we’d been together. Even I hadn’t thought to mark down the exact date we’d begun dating; granted, it was tough to really say when it started, but I couldn’t argue with Zac picking homecoming night as our anniversary.
“A month really isn’t that long,” I pointed out.
He shrugged. “I know. But I’ve loved you for longer than that.”
I blinked, certain that I had heard him wrong. He could not have possibly just said that he loved me. If one month was too soon to spend a holiday with his family, then it was also most definitely too soon to say the L word. Yet, he had. It had rolled of his tongue as casually as though he were asking what was for dinner – more casually than that, in fact. And that’s how I knew he meant it. It was just a simple fact to him, nothing worthy of blowing out of proportion.
That seemed somehow backwards, yet exactly as it should have been. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth.
“I love you, too, Zac.”
He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, then looked me in the eyes. “We’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Whatever happens over Thanksgiving break, whatever you decide, it’ll all be okay. I promise.”
“I love how positive you always are,” I said.
“It’s just how I am,” he replied with a shrug, as though being endlessly optimistic in everything wasn’t a huge, admirable skill. “Now come on, let’s go back downstairs. I’ve still got half a plate of banana pudding that somebody took me away from.”