In Apprehension How Like A God
The Halloween party was a turning point. My cowardly lion stood up for us and our relationship and it only made me appreciate him more. Not only that, but it seemed to make Christin back off. That surprised me, because she seemed far too stubborn to give up that easily, but I certainly wasn’t going to complain.
The rest of that night passed by without incident, the seven of us spending most of it sitting on the couch ignoring everyone else around us. We were in our own little world and it was perfect. That sense of bliss carried over into the following week; we ate lunch together, hung out in the coffee shop together, and were just generally inseparable. Everything was wonderful.
But something always has to come along and interrupt things that are wonderful.
On Wednesday afternoon, Zac and I were sitting in the coffee shop after class as we nearly always did. Taylor was regaling us with a ridiculous story from his heavy partying days his freshman year while we sipped on lattes. Well, I sipped on a latte; Zac was more of a soda drinker. We were both in stitches from Tay’s story, so we almost didn’t hear Cecily’s approach.
“Hey, Victoria?”
I spun around on my stool to face her. Although I recognized her voice, we didn’t really see each other outside of the theatre, so I was a little surprised and worried about what she might possibly want. “Yeah?”
She gave Zac a small smile, then looked back at me. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I always have a little cast party at my parents’ cabin out by Swift Creek Reservoir. It’s too cold to swim or anything, but the cabin – actually, cabins – are really nice and everyone always has a good time. Much more relaxed than Kelsey’s parties.”
I didn’t have to ask what she meant by more relaxed. Despite not being that close, Cecily was certainly still aware of everything that had happened between me and Donovan; I still recalled that tipsy conversation I had with her at the first party where she tried to warn me away from him. A more relaxed party than that one sounded absolutely perfect to me.
Of course, it wasn’t entirely up to me. I wouldn’t let Zac tell me I couldn’t go, but if he didn’t want to go with me, I would have had to seriously reconsider telling Cecily I would go. That makes me sound horribly codependent, but I don’t really see it that way. Even though I am a theatre kid, my best friends weren’t necessarily all theatre people. I wouldn’t have fun at a party with only them. So if Zac didn’t go, the party lost a lot of its appeal.
Cecily seemed to guess what was causing my reluctance. She offered the two of us another smile and said, “Of course, you can bring anyone you want. It’s going to be a small group, but boyfriends are definitely welcome.”
“A small group, huh?” I asked.
She nodded knowingly. “Some of the more… dramatic, shall we say, cast members won’t be there. Kelsey’s hosting a party as well.”
Cecily didn’t need to spell it out. I understood perfectly. Zac did too, because he rubbed my back gently and said, “Well, I think it sounds like fun. If Toria wants to go, then I’ll be there, too.”
I nodded at Zac, then looked back at Cecily. “Sure. We’ll be there.”
“Great,” she replied. “I’ll give you the directions when I see you at the theatre, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
With another smile, Cecily turned away from us and rattled off an order to Taylor. I leaned further into Zac’s touch and gave him as smile as well. He kissed the top my head then gave me a serious look. “You did want to go to the party, right? I didn’t mean to just accept the invitation for both of us.”
I shook my head. “No. I mean, yes, I did want to go. It sounds like we won’t have to deal with… certain people. So it will be fun.”
“Good,” Zac replied. “I like parties that are fun.”
“Those are generally the best kind.”
Minutes later, Cecily’s drink made and paid for, Taylor returned to lean against the counter next to us. He was lucky if he ever got to take a real break, but there were enough people working that afternoon that he did occasionally have a moment free to spend with us. He wiped a stray drop of whipped cream off his shirt sleeve, then glanced up at me. “So, what are your plans for Thanksgiving? I know it’s still a few weeks away, but we get a pretty long break.”
I honestly hadn’t thought about it at all. I supposed I had a few options, and none of them sounded that pleasant. I could finally give in and meet my mother’s boyfriend, despite the fact that I hadn’t even spoken to her in weeks. I could spend a very awkward weekend with my dad and the cat, most likely eating frozen dinners the entire time. Or I could spend the weekend with Aunt Patty. That was the most likely option, I figured.
Realizing that Taylor and Zac were both staring at me, waiting for an answer, I finally offered them both a shrug. “I don’t know. Hadn’t really thought about it. My family is kinda… scattered around the state.”
Zac nudged his stool closer to mine and wrapped his arm more tightly around me. “Have you even talked to any of them about the holiday yet?”
I shook my head.
He glanced up at Taylor for a second and they shared some weird, secret look that I didn’t understand. When Taylor nodded slightly, Zac turned back to me. “Why don’t you come home with me?”
“Better question. Why should I?”
“Because… you’re my girlfriend and I want you there?”
Well, he had me there. I couldn’t very well argue with that, but I didn’t totally agree with it either. It was one thing for us to spend every waking, and most sleeping, moment together here. It was another thing entirely for me to go home with him and meet his entire family. But I didn’t know how to put any of that into words without seriously hurting his feelings. So instead, I grasped at straws. “Where will I sleep?”
“In my room,” Zac replied immediately, and I had a feeling my eyes went just as wide as Taylor’s. Zac quickly added, “Well, actually, it still has the twin beds. So Tay can move back in there with me and you can have Ike’s old room. He and Melissa live close enough that they won’t stay the night.”
“You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you?”
Zac shook his head. “Nope. But the plan came together pretty nicely, didn’t it?”
“I guess so,” I replied softly.
And it did seem like a good plan, but the thought of meeting his family – the ones I hadn’t already met – scared me. I suddenly felt really sorry for him having to met my aunt and her dogs the past weekend. He had seemed a nervous wreck that day, and I had a feeling it wasn’t just the gigantic dogs to blame for that. Maybe I deserved a taste of that, too, as payback. But an hour or so versus an entire weekend? Didn’t seem entirely fair.
But it wasn’t about being fair, was it? It was my boyfriend trying to do me a really big favor because he knew how awkward and potentially miserable my Thanksgiving break could be. After all, Zac had somehow always been the one who showed up when I was at my lowest because of my stupid parental drama. He had comforted me, literally rocking me to sleep on one occasion, and helped me to believe that things would be okay. It was in those moments together, I think, that I really began to fall for him.
What wasn’t fair was my immediate gut reaction to his invitation when he obviously meant well. I didn’t want to absolutely say yes right then, but I did want to at least let him know that I appreciated the offer. That was the least I could do. He deserved that much.
I gave Zac as sweet and sincere of a smile as I could manage. “I’ll think about it, okay? I’ve got to talk to my aunt… and I guess my mom and dad too…”
Zac nodded. “It’s been a while since you’ve talked to any of them, hasn’t it? Besides your aunt.”
“Yeah,” I replied, grateful that Taylor seemed to have gotten the hint and wandered off to actually do his job. “Maybe we can go see Aunt Patty again, and I’ll talk to her about it all. Then I’ll figure out what I’m going to do for the holiday.”
Zac gave me a small grin. “Sounds like a good plan. As long as the dogs don’t try to eat me again.”
“Who said you were going with me, mister?”
He pouted. “Well, I mean, your aunt really seemed to like me. Will you let me go if I promise not to look at any more baby pictures of you? Tempting thought it may be…”
I nudged him gently, but I wasn’t really upset at all. I was glad Aunt Patty liked him; I really was. He looked so at home in her house, at least once the dogs were out of sight. Of course I had imagined him going back there with me to visit again, even if I hadn’t vocalized it. I grinned at him. “Yeah, okay. No baby pictures or I will sick the dogs on you.”
“It’s a deal.”
I turned back to my drink, which had gone cold during our conversation but I didn’t really mind. All of my enthusiasm for the cast party had vanished as well. Of course Taylor hadn’t known that would happen when he asked a seemingly innocent question, so I wasn’t angry with him. I was just frustrated with my circumstances and the fact that, even when things with Zac were going so well, other things could still go wrong and ruin my entire day. But that was just life, right?
Zac sensed my mood, I guess, because he continued to rub my back gently. He didn’t speak for several minutes, though. Instead, he left my alone with my thoughts. It was probably a smart move on his part, because I feared if I started to talk again, I might just burst out crying. Finally, my lukewarm latte gone, I turned back to him and tried to change the subject. “So, are you sure you want to go to the cast party?”
“Whatever you want to do,” he replied. “That’s not a cop out. I’d like to go to a nice party, but I’m just saying, I want to go only if you do. And I don’t want to go if you don’t. Whichever one makes you happy.”
I nodded. “I think I do want to go. A nice, less stressful party sounds fantastic.”
“Definitely,” he replied. “And speaking of no stress… don’t worry about Thanksgiving either, okay? Just do what you want to do. But the offer is still open.”
I remembered a time when I felt like I was suffocating under all the expectations Zac seemed to have for me. I don’t know whether he changed, or I did, or we both did, but this felt completely different. Maybe he hadn’t ever really forced me to do anything but admit what I wanted and then go for it. And I didn’t really mind being forced to do that, I realized.
“I’ll think about it, okay?” I said, and I meant it. I would think about spending Thanksgiving… with my boyfriend. I had to admit, it was starting to sound pretty nice.