Love’s Fine Wit
I thought Christin’s jaw might actually hit the floor, and it took all of my strength not to laugh in her face. That would have been cruel, after all. I scurried out the door before she could collect herself and found myself falling right into Zac’s arms.
“Happy to see me?” He asked, laughing.
I giggled. “Surprisingly, yes. And I’d like to get out of here before Christin tries to kill me.”
Zac raised an eyebrow. “Do I even want to know?”
“Oh, I wasn’t that horrible to her. She made the mistake of asking who bought the flowers,” I replied.
“And you told her…?”
“That they were a present from my wonderful boyfriend,” I said. I couldn’t help blushing a little as the last word passed my lips. Even though I had just said it to Christin, it was a different beast entirely to say it to Zac and truly mean it.
“Oh? Who is he?” Zac teased, nudging my shoulder gently. “Is he a good guy? ‘Cause you deserve way better than you’ve had.”
“Maybe I do; maybe I don’t,” I said. “But he’s definitely a good guy. Even if he can be a twat sometimes.”
His sheepish grin began to spread across his face, his confidence obviously growing. “So you’ll take me back?”
“Of course I will!”
Without a word, he scooped me up into his arms and spun me around. I giggled and struggled to hold onto the vase of flowers, even though the water was splashing out all around us. But I didn’t even care. All I cared about was being in Zac’s arms again. I had forgotten how wonderful it felt – how wonderful it had always felt – to be held by him.
The dressing room door opened and brought us back to earth. It was, of course, Christin. She shot us both an evil look, but didn’t say a word; the look on her face and the way she stomped down the hall said it all. Once she was out of sight and earshot, Zac and I both cracked up.
He took my face in his hands and tried to steady his own laughter before kissing me. It wasn’t forceful, despite the way he held onto me. It was a little possessive, but I didn’t mind. After all, I was his again. But he was mine, too. He ended the kiss far sooner than I would have liked, and simply stood there, his forehead pressed to mine.
“We should probably get out of here… after all, you’re not even supposed to be back here.”
“Alright, let’s hit the road,” Zac said, stepping back and offering me his hand.
My hand slid into his easily, like the two of them were meant to fit together that way, and we walked on down the hall toward the theatre’s lobby. All of our friends were waiting for us, and it seemed that they all glanced down at our entwined hands at the same time. I couldn’t help returning their smiles; suddenly, I found myself no longer shy or nervous about this relationship with Zac. Even though we had only barely begun to move past our fight, being with him – again – felt more right than anything else ever had.
“You were amazing tonight!” Whitley said. “Not that I had any doubt that you would be.”
“I just wish you were up there with me,” I replied.
“Oh, I will be next semester. Don’t you worry about that,” she said.
The way that Evan ran his hand across Whitley’s back didn’t pass by me unnoticed. He offered her a quick look, then turned back to me and Zac. “So, we’re all going out for pizza. Want to join us?”
I glanced up at Zac, who looked down at me with those big puppy dog eyes that no one could deny. “I think we’ll just stay in. Bring something back for us?”
“Sure thing,” Evan said, then slyly slipped his hand into Whitley’s. “We’ll see you guys later. Great job tonight, Toria.”
We said goodbye to everyone else, which took a while, since they all wanted to congratulate me for having a good opening night. Most of the rest of the show’s crowd had dissipated, or else we might have been stuck in the lobby forever, making small talk with anyone who recognized me from the stage. Instead, we only had to speak to a few people, and as soon as I found Adrienne and checked out for the night, we were on our way back to the dorm.
The two of us walked across campus in a comfortable silence. Normally, one or both of us would have been trying to fill the silence, but it felt right then to just be together. Neither of us spoke until we reached the dorm and Zac pulled his key card out to open the door.
“So, your room or mine?” I asked, attempting to wiggle my eyebrows suggestively and failing.
“Well, since I splashed half the water out of those flowers, you should probably refill the vase. Sorry about that, by the way,” he replied.
“It’s alright,” I replied as I pulled him into the dorm and toward the elevator. “You were excited. You’re allowed to make a mess.”
Zac giggled. The elevator opened for us and he yanked on my arm to pull me into it, pushed the button for my floor, then backed me against the wall. “I missed you so much. Let’s not do that ever again, okay?”
“Okay,” I replied breathlessly.
He smiled at me, but only briefly, before pressing his lips to mine again. His strong arms held me against the elevator wall, even though we both knew I’d never try to get away from him, especially not when he was kissing me like that. I tugged at his shirt, trying to pull him even closer. Just as he began to nibble on my lip, the elevator stopped on my floor.
Zac pulled back and smiled at me, then took my hand again and practically drug me down the hallway toward my room. I fumbled to pull my keys from my backpack and unlock the door. Zac followed right behind me as I walked into the room and flipped the lights on. He flung himself onto the bed with such ease that it was hard to believe he hadn’t been there in days.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, tossing my backpack down and holding up the vase. “Just gonna fill this up at the water fountain.”
“Okay, babe.”
I blushed at the way the word rolled of Zac’s tongue so easily, and I had to turn away so he wouldn’t see. My shyness and reluctance to be with him was gone, but it was all still pretty new. It had been such a whirlwind, I thought to myself as I walked down the hall to the water fountain. It might have been building for a while, below the surface, and bursting out at inopportune times, but it had only been a week since we had finally acknowledged the truth. And then, I had to go and ruin it. Although, the flowers in my hands and the boy on my bed told a different story. I hadn’t ruined it at all – only delayed it a little more.
With a grin that I thought might never leave my face, I walked back to the room with my now fully watered flowers. I pushed open the door and found Zac still sitting on my bed, a book in his hand. He stared at the pages intently, his brow furrowing adorably. I recognized it as the book of Shakespearean sonnets that I had bought him for his birthday.
“So the crayons aren’t the only part of the present you’re getting some use out of,” I said, setting the flowers on my desk and then joining him on the bed.
“Nope,” he replied. “I’ve think I’ve already read this whole thing like five times.”
“Really?” I asked, scooting closer to him, close enough that our legs were touching. “Which one is your favorite?”
He looked up at me. “I haven’t picked one yet. Which one is your favorite?”
I reached across his lap and flipped the pages back until I found just the right one. “It’s not my favorite, necessarily, but I think this one is pretty appropriate right now.”
“Read it to me,” he replied.
I took the book from his hands, stared at the page, and cleared my throat. I gave Zac one last small smile before I began to read.
As an unperfect actor on the stage,
Who with his fear is put beside his part,
Or some fierce thing replete with too much rage,
Whose strength’s abundance weakens his own heart;
So I, for fear of trust, forget to say
The perfect ceremony of love’s rite,
And in mine own love’s strength seem to decay,
O’ercharged with burthen of mine own love’s might.
O! let my looks be then the eloquence
And dumb presagers of my speaking breast,
Who plead for love, and look for recompense,
More than that tongue that more hath more express’d.
O! learn to read what silent love hath writ:
To hear with eyes belongs to love’s fine wit.
When I finished, I continued to stare down at the page, unsure what Zac would have to say. His large hand reached out and pushed the book down, forcing me to come face to face with him again. We stared each other again, wordlessly, for a moment, before he broke out into the same crooked smile I knew and loved.
“I think that’s a great one,” Zac replied. “But to me, you’re a perfect actor.”
I shook my head. “That’s the problem. I’m too glad at playing parts, and horrible at playing myself.”
“You know you can be yourself with me, though. Right? You do know that?”
“I guess,” I replied, setting the book in the floor and inching closer to Zac again. “In theory, I know that. But in practice, it’s so much easier… no, that’s not true. It’s not even easy; it’s habit. It’s just habit to do what I think everyone wants from me and not what I want.”
“You never did what I wanted,” he said.
“Which was?”
Zac ran his hand through my hair. “Be true to yourself. That’s all I wanted. I was pretty hopeful that meant you’d be with me, though.”
I shied away from his touch. “I was horrible to you, though. Even before we were together. I don’t know why you wanted me at all.”
“Maybe you were,” he replied, nudging my chin up so I was again forced to look at him. “I didn’t really notice. Honestly, just being around you, even when we were fighting… it always felt right. You might make me want to rip my hair out sometimes, but when you’re gone, it feels even worse. The past few days have been hell, Tor.”
“They’ve been hell for me, too,” I admitted.
“I could have made it easier on us, though,” he said. “I’m so fucking sorry I blew up at you the way I did.”
“I’m sorry I accused you like that.” I finally allowed myself to relax into his touch, my head lolling to the side a little as he continued to absentmindedly stroke my hair.
He shrugged. “We both fucked up a little. I should have just told you to begin with, but you know I didn’t do anything more than make out with her, right? I was angry with you, but I couldn’t… I’m not that kind of guy. Drunken hookups at parties aren’t really my thing.”
“I know,” I replied. “It was stupid. I realized too late that she was just trying to push my buttons and get between us. But it worked at first, because it played right into my insecurity. After all, I had… well, you were right to call me a hypocrite, and you probably could have called me worse.”
“But I wouldn’t have,” Zac said, pulling my face to his and kissing me softly. “I know you were struggling, and I didn’t make it easier for you, even though I wanted to. I was a jealous little bastard, though.”
“Were you? I didn’t notice,” I said with a grin.
“Absolutely,” he replied, kissing me again. He gently nudged me backward until we were lying down. “But I don’t have to be jealous now, do I? You’re all mine.”
I couldn’t help relaxing against him. It felt like I was finally at home. When I thought back, I’d been at home in his arms practically since I met him, but I hadn’t known how to describe that feeling. I just hadn’t had the vocabulary for it. It was all so new, the way that Zac made me feel. I smiled. “Absolutely. And you’re all mine.”
“I have been all along,” he said.