July 2008
For the next three days Avery stayed barricaded in her bedroom, ignoring almost everyone for fear of making them upset or mad or even for fear of running into Zoe and setting her off again if she was still in whatever mood she had been in the day after the fourth.
The one person Avery wasn’t ignoring though was Paisley but it seemed Paisley was ignoring her. Hadn’t returned any of Avery’s calls or texts and Avery had a weird sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. That somehow maybe things were over between them and she had no clue why or even what had happened.
Maybe she had done something wrong or maybe she hadn’t and she just wasn’t good enough for Paisley anymore. All Avery knew was her girlfriend was giving her the silent treatment and it fucking sucked. Made her feel horrible because right now all she wanted was to hear Paisley’s voice telling her things would be okay.
Telling her that she was just crazy and imagining things but Avery knew it wouldn’t come. Not with this ignoring that Paisley was doing to her.
Heaving a sigh Avery moved from her bed, deciding to shower and try to end the ignoring. At least go and see Paisley and confront her.
Not wanting to leave for the second part of her trip in two days with whatever this was hanging over her head like a storm cloud that refused to let out rain just yet.
Wanted to rip off the band aid and get the painful part over even if maybe it would put a damper on her mood when she left for the second part of her trip.
But at least she’d have the rest of her trip to heal until she came back to Tulsa and had to deal with things again like maybe running into Paisley if they were indeed breaking up.
Something Avery hoped wasn’t happening even if the sinking feeling told her it was happening.
“Are you going out?” Jessica asked curiously some time later after Avery walked downstairs after her shower. Dressed in a loose tank top and shorts that were maybe a bit too short but it was hot today so she didn’t care.
“Yeah,” Avery answered with a raised eyebrow as she turned to Jessica who was standing in the entryway of the living room. Zoe sitting on the couch as she turned to watch the scene unfolding. “Why?”
Jessica shrugged her shoulders, “Just you’ve kind of been hiding in your room for days and I guess I suspected it would continue until you left is all Avie,” she frowned looking like she was genuinely worried for her and at least someone was.
“I haven’t been fully hiding away. I come out to eat and use the bathroom,” Avery defended knowing that was mainly the only times she had left her room. “But I’m tired of hiding and I need to see someone,” she spoke before walking towards the door.
“Are you going to be back for dinner? Mom invited a new couple from her church over tonight,” Jessica said as she chewed on her lip softly. “I think she wanted all of us kids still at home to be there just to make a nice impression. That and she says they have a son about your age that you may like. I know she’s been looking for a good boy for you since you and Jeremy broke up in May.”
Avery laughed bitterly at that because of course her mom would care more about finding her a boy than the fact that something was bothering her enough to keep her in her room for days.
Something that clearly Jessica could see but was too afraid to ask what it was probably. That or she knew Avery wouldn’t tell her but Avery wished her mom noticed or at least asked her if she was okay instead of wanting to find her a nice boy and using tonight as an opportunity to try and play matchmaker.
“I’ll try to be but no promises,” Avery told her sister before finally slipping out the door before Jessica could say anymore.
Soon making it to her car where she got in and turned her car on. Turning her radio up to almost full blast as she pulled out of the driveway, wanting to drown in her music rather than her feelings as she drove to Paisley’s house knowing that she’d be off work now.
Paisley having found out her schedule for the week she came back while she had been traveling with Avery.
Arriving at Paisley’s apartment complex Avery parked her car but she didn’t get out right away. Instead she sat in the car and took several deep breaths. Trying to work herself up for this confrontation, trying to get the nerves that she swore she had.
But she had no nerves at all it seemed but even with that knowledge she still finally got out of her car. Walking slowly to Paisley’s apartment. Much slower than before because again the no nerves thing.
When she finally made it to the apartment she raised her hand and knocked three times before lowering her hand and waiting on an answer. Feeling like now she wanted to be sick or maybe like she should just turn and run.
Even if she knew having this conversation now was better than waiting and prolonging it until she got back. Because being ignored for much longer while she so desperately wanted her girlfriend to talk to her would kill her.
Looking up as the door opened Avery was about to open her mouth and say something but paused when instead of being face to face with Paisley, she was face to face with Ellery who was only wearing a t-shirt with panties and Avery was sure her heart had literally dropped into her stomach.
“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to be there. Was expecting it would be the pizza Pai and I ordered,” Ellery smirked as if she was rubbing her very existence right now into Avery’s face and in a way she probably was.
Was telling Avery that she had fucked her girlfriend because why else would she be clad in so little?
“Yeah well I wasn’t expecting you to open the door so we’re even,” Avery muttered out rather harshly, making Ellery’s smirk grow.
“You want to see Pai?” Ellery asked though it came out more like a statement.
Avery rolled her eyes, “I think we both know that’s why I came,” she said trying to sound stronger than she actually felt right now.
“Of course,” Ellery nodded as she moved aside so Avery could come in and Avery swallowed hard as she stepped inside the apartment, hearing Ellery shut the door behind her once she was in. “I’ll just go and get her,” she said before walking past Avery and heading down the hall to Paisley’s room.
A place Avery knew well and a place Avery hated to think of as somewhere, where Ellery had probably been before Avery knocked on the door. Hated imagining Paisley and Ellery tangled together in bed just like Avery and Paisley had been days before.
Before something had changed somewhere in the universe and literally decided Avery needed to suffer.
Coming out of her thoughts as she heard footsteps getting closer Avery crossed her arms over her chest as she watched Paisley come into the room. Clad in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a loose fitting band t-shirt.
“Avery,” she whispered out softly as she looked Avery over and Avery shook her head feeling tears already coming to her eyes.
“You cheated on me,” Avery stated with a shake of her head. “You fucking cheated on me with Ellery,” she said her voice getting a bit louder now.
Paisley paused at that, her eyebrows furrowing slightly as brief confusion flashed across her face before it changed to a more neutral look. “I did,” she nodded her head having the audacity to look Avery right in the eyes as she admitted the truth. “I cheated on you with Elle.”
At Paisley’s admission the tears that had been welling in her eyes came out and onto her cheek, something that Paisley must have seen because she started to walker closer but Avery moved away, holding her hand up to stop her.
“I..is that why you’ve been ignoring me for days?” Avery asked her tone coming out harsh as more tears came out. “Is that why you left my house in such a hurry? Because you made plans sometime on our trip to fucking cheat on me?!” she questioned and now all she saw was red.
Which if emotions were a color all she felt was red too. Just plain red.
Paisley now looked away from Avery and Avery watched as she swallowed hard. Like now it was beginning to get hard for her to look Avery in the eyes when just minutes before it was fine for her to look Avery in the eyes and admit she had cheated.
“Yeah, I made plans to cheat with her while we were traveling together,” Paisley spoke and her words made Avery feel like she had been punched in the gut. Like someone had literally taken their fist and struck her hard right in the gut. “While we were in Paris to be exact,” she continued as if she were filing in gaps or telling Avery a story. “The night after you said you wanted to come out. Remember I snuck out on the balcony to take a phone call.”
“You said that was Cal,” Avery reminded her as her breath hitched and new tears found their way down Avery’s cheeks.
Tears she didn’t even try to wipe away. What was the use right now when she knew she’d just keep crying? She didn’t see an end in sight.
“Isn’t it obvious, I lied to you Avery,” Paisley told her and again she avoided Avery’s gaze though she let out a bitter sounding laugh. “Did you really think I’d stay faithful?” she asked Avery as she finally turned to look at her. “Me of all people? I warned you not to fall in love with me Avery. Now I guess you have to live with the consequences don’t you?” she asked with a shake of her head before she looked away again.
Avery feeling like she was going crazy because before Paisley looked away it seemed like she had tears in her own eyes.
Which why would she? Especially when her words made it seem like she didn’t care at all.
“Fuck you Paisley,” Avery muttered out angrily watching as Paisley jumped at her words though she still stayed facing away from Avery. “Fuck you!” she repeated before turning on her heels and walking towards the door.
Not even having to say the words because she knew them already. Had known them before she even came here. She and Paisley were over.
Opening the door she slipped outside and went back to her car. The walk there seeming to take no time compared to the walk to Paisley’s apartment and when she made it to her car she had to bend over.
Feeling slightly sick from all of her crying. Her stomach soon losing its contents which were whatever small thing she had for lunch. Probably just a yogurt maybe because right now in her mind Avery couldn’t even remember what she had ate just hours prior.
All she knew was how much she hurt. How much pain she was in emotionally.
When she did get in her car Avery just rested her head against her steering wheel, her mind replaying Paris and her coming out conversation. Now no longer sure if she wanted too because she didn’t feel comfortable…didn’t feel safe or ready.
Instead she felt like the same lost girl she had been before Paisley except maybe ten times worse. Hating the fact that she had made Paisley her home, her rock….her soulmate.
Making it home well after dark thanks to driving down one too many Tulsa back roads, Avery pulled her car into the driveway beside a car she didn’t recognize.
Briefly remembering that Jessica had mentioned something about her mom inviting new people from church over to dinner. Avery only heaving a tiny sigh because she was sure she looked like a mess and she didn’t want to meet strangers while looking like shit.
So she’d just have to bypass the kitchen on her way in.
Getting out of her car in a hurry, Avery headed towards her house going inside as quietly as she could. Heaving a sigh of relief when she successfully made it upstairs her room in sight.
Though the moment she made it to her room she became a sobbing mess again as she went to her bed and reached for her laptop which she turned on.
Quickly pulling up pictures of her trip with Paisley as she opened Itunes and put on the saddest music she could deciding to drown in her feelings as well as music now.
Something she must have gotten lost in doing until she heard a knock on her door and she looked up to see Zoe standing there holding a plate in her hands.
“Mom wanted me to bring you dinner,” Zoe told her as she stepped into the room a bit apprehensively.
“I’m surprised she even realized I was home,” Avery stated as she took the plate from Zoe, watching as her sister’s eyes landed on the picture she had open on her laptop.
A picture of her and Paisley right after they got their tattoos. Proudly showing them off to the camera which Hannah had been holding.
“She’s our mom of course she realized,” Zoe spoke as she finally looked back at Avery, a tiny frown passing her face. “I..is something wrong?” she asked which surprised Avery given how Zoe had treated her days before.
Avery shook her head as fresh tears once again went down her cheek, “Paisley and I are no longer friends,” she answered being honest. “I guess mom’s God answered her prayers and ended our friendship.”