March 2008
Avery kept her sunglasses on even though she was inside a restaurant in Texas eating breakfast with her mom and Zoe. Everett seated in a high chair next to their table.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Diana asked which made Avery turn to look at her mom, knowing she was talking to her because she had been asking her if she was okay all morning. Ever since she had seen her and said that her daughter looked like death warmed over.
Probably became even more suspicious in Avery not feeling well when Avery had turned down an early morning slice of pie from the birthday pie that Natalie had bought Taylor at some point yesterday. Slices both her mom and Zoe had taken and Avery hadn’t understood how they could both still want to eat right now.
But Avery had played it off as just not going well with the diet she was on right now which she hadn’t been the only one to turn down the pie. Zac had too using his fasting as an excuse which Avery thought was bullshit because their mom had so readily dropped hers for a piece of pie.
Then again Zac seemed to be more into fasting than their mom was. Kate being the same because for some reason they clung to religion as if it was the cure for all the bad things in their life. Like losing their baby which had in Avery’s opinion been the catalyst for them finding God again and clinging to him and the church like a lifesaver.
Maybe a bit too much of one but then again Avery wasn’t even sure God existed so she was just a bit jaded at times it seemed.
“I’m fine,” Avery lied because she had, had a bit of a headache since waking up. “Just not a morning person is all.”
Her mom just looked her over, like she didn’t believe a word out of Avery’s mouth. “You’re lying to me Avie,” she finally spoke in between bites of the bagel she had ordered. “You know how I feel about lying but then again you’ve been doing that a lot haven’t you?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.
A raised eyebrow of judgement in Avery’s opinion and she really hated that they were even having this conversation in front of Zoe.
“I guess I have yeah,” Avery admitted her voice coming out small. Like a child instead of the seventeen year old girl that she was.
Diana nodded her head still keeping her raised eyebrow of judgement, “I can’t help but feel like it’s because of your new friend,” she said again and now even her words sounded judgemental. Like she already hated Avery’s friend that she didn’t even know. “You know the one you spent all night with instead of being at Juniper’s and honestly I feel like I shouldn’t even let you out of the house if you’re going to keep this attitude up. At least not until you let your father and I meet this friend of yours. Just so my mind can be put at ease that she isn’t the one making you act out.”
Going silent at her mom’s words, Avery looked down picking slowly at the egg sandwich that she had ordered, “But mom…” she started before her mom cut her off.
“Don’t but mom me Avery Laurel Hanson. Either your father and I meet this friend of yours or you won’t be leaving the house until your eighteenth birthday in November,” Diana spoke her words coming across stern and Avery knew she meant business.
She also knew there was a deeper meaning to this than just her lying too. Deep down her mom was doing this as a way to meet Avery’s friend because she felt upset that Avery finally had a friend that she didn’t know about and she wanted to change that.
Wanted to meet this friend to see if she approved and Avery was afraid of what would happen if she didn’t. Because luckily so far her mom had always approved of her friends.
Sighing visibly Avery rolled her eyes almost glad she had sunglasses on. “That’s bullshit,” she stated not even caring that she had just cursed in front of her mom but before her mom could get onto her she stood from the table and just walked away.
Quickly heading outside of the restaurant and stepping onto the busy and somewhat crowded streets of downtown Austin. Glad that their hotel was close enough to walk to because that was where she wanted to go.
Just needed to get away from her mom for awhile, just needed to breathe and think and maybe draw. Go to her happy place because she was far from it right now.
Though Avery knew she shouldn’t have cursed in front of her mom, shouldn’t have ran off especially when she was supposed to be watching Everett but she knew he’d be in good hands with Zoe and her mom just like she knew she’d get in more trouble than what she already was for what had just transpired in the restaurant.
The good child that everyone claimed she was had finally snapped. Been pushed a bit too much by her mom’s demands or maybe it was just a combination of everything lately. Avery wasn’t sure but she was sure that she needed her art.
Needed to draw and release her feelings that way.
Once Avery was back inside of her hotel room she found her sketchpad, grabbing it and a few pencils as well as her iPod before going out on the balcony and sitting down.
Opening the sketchbook to a new page she put her earbuds in her ears before starting her iPod, putting it on the Travis song Flowers In The Window and the moment the music started Avery began to draw. Not even sure what she was going to draw.
Deciding that for once she was going to wing it and she began to draw she let her mind wander. Feeling herself relax, her shoulders even loosening some as she did so.
Eleven year old Avery laughed loudly as she ran through the kitchen of her parents main house. Running alongside their dog Jack as she followed him outside. It was a nice summer day and one of the rare ones where most of her family was gone.
Taylor still in Hawaii for his honeymoon with Natalie, Isaac probably god knew where but a girl was probably involved and her parents were still in Georgia. Helping to pack up Natalie’s belongings so that most of them would be here when Taylor and Natalie got back from their honeymoon.
Which meant that for now at least Zac was in charge of everyone at least until Isaac came home tonight. Then Isaac would be in charge but for now she’d much rather have Zac. He was the brother who knew how to have all the fun even with the way he’d been acting all weird and moody since coming back from California.
Stopping though when she made it outside, she saw Zac by the pool. A CD player plugged in nearby as he worked on a painting. Something she hadn’t seen him in do in ages and something that Avery was sure he didn’t do often. Not like her anyway because lately Avery was discovering that art was something she liked.
Something she could do to escape her family’s busy life and something she had done a lot of during Taylor and Natalie’s wedding planning because that had been hard on everyone in some way and it had been too much for Avery.
Biting her lip Avery slowed down, walking over to Zac as Jack ran off to somewhere else which wasn’t surprising as the dog had never really been fond of Zac for some odd reason.
“Hey Zaccy,” Avery spoke once she was close enough to get her brother’s attention. “Can I sit out here with you?” she asked curiously her voice going all small and soft because she was afraid of his answer.
Afraid that he’d say no even if he’d always been nice to her and let her do whatever she wanted. There had to come a time when eventually he’d find her too young to let just hang out with him. There had to come a time when he’d find her presence annoying.
Taylor already sort of did and Isaac had never really been close to her. Not like he was with Taylor or Zac anyway which was probably good since Avery herself found Isaac a bit boring but of course she’d never tell him that. She was nice and the eleven year old wanted to spare her brother’s feelings.
Zac turned to look at Avery a curious look on his face, “You want to just sit out here with me?” he asked sounding a bit confused. “You’ll just get bored watching me paint.”
“No more bored than sitting inside and watching Mackie play video games can be,” Avery told him with a tiny smile. “Maybe a bit less boring than that actually because you’re kind of my favorite brother.”
Laughing at that information, Zac shook his head softly looking happier than Avery had seen him look for the first time in months.
“Then have a seat Avie baby,” Zac told her using the nickname that she swore he’d always use for her though everyone else had stopped using it over time.
Smiling Avery sat down in the chair beside Zac, watching as he turned away from her and went back to his painting and Avery watched with interest as he did so.
Feeling a bit taken aback at how sad his painting was. It was full of dark colors a stark contrast from the bright colors that she used when she painted or drew stuff. But maybe just like her this was somehow a way for Zac to get his feelings out and maybe he was full of sad feelings.
A thought that made the eleven year old sad herself because she hated thinking of Zac as sad. Her brother deserved to be happy especially with everything that she knew was happening with the record label.
“You know Avie baby you should probably keep the fact that I’m your favorite brother to yourself,” Zac spoke again breaking the silence that had gathered between them. “Not sure Isaac, Taylor or even Mackie would take that too well.”
“Probably not which is why I did have no intentions of telling them you doofus,” Avery replied a hint of sarcasm in her voice. “I’m not stupid Zac.”
Zac only turned to look at her with a look that said he doubted her words, “You’re a Hanson, Avery and I hate to break it to you but we are all stupid from time to time. Some of us more so than others.”
“Taylor takes the cake in stupidity though,” Avery told Zac. “I mean he had to be stupid to get Natalie pregnant like he did.”
Pausing Zac chewed on his lip like he was thinking of a way to answer her. “I think it’s more to it than that. You’ll get it one day when you’re old enough,” he smiled and for once Avery didn’t feel like he was saying it to be mean like most others who said that to her when it came to stuff that she didn’t get at eleven.
After Zac said that things fell silent between them again at least until Zac was done with his painting and the CD he listened to had replayed once more. Now starting a song about flowers in the window and this time when the song started, Zac stood from his chair as he looked down at Avery.
“Dance with me Avie baby,” Zac spoke as he held out his hand to her and Avery just looked up at him skeptically.
Which Zac must have taken as her answer because he bent down and picked her up so effortlessly, making her giggle as he held her and began to dance with her almost comically to the song playing. Her eyes closing as she tried to commit this moment to memory.
Because again it was the happiest she had seen her brother in so long. Too long almost.
Coming out of her thoughts as the song which she had on repeat ended for probably the millionth time Avery looked down at the drawing she had just finished. A drawing that was an old memory to her now.
Dancing with Zac out by the pool on a June day when she had been eleven. Them listening to the same song she had been listening to as she drew and as she looked back on the drawing now both people she had drew felt like strangers in some ways to her.
Just like that time felt like so long ago but at the same time it was probably one of her favorite drawings she had done in awhile. Because it seemed her art had been suffering slightly with her mood so in between and now as she looked at the finished piece she almost wanted to sit down sometime after getting back home to Tulsa and painting it.
Maybe putting this in her room like the painting she had made in 2004 of her and Ezra at the beach was hung up in the family’s living room.
This painting could be just hers and hers alone or maybe one she’d feel okay enough with sharing it with Zac one day. But sharing her paintings with her family was just weird for her at times. Letting them into parts of herself she didn’t like letting them into.
Standing up with her sketchpad in her hand, Avery headed inside right as the door to her hotel room opened and she saw Zoe come in slowly. Her eyes landing on Avery as she gave her a suspicious look.
“Mom’s upset with you,” she spoke plainly stating what Avery already knew. “Never seen her that upset Avery.”
Avery looked down feeling guilty as she closed her sketchpad. “I know,” she sighed feeling like she knew she had to go to her mom’s room. Try to make things right with her. “I’ll apologize sometime tonight,” she nodded her head and though she knew she would do and needed to do it. She was dreading it.
Knowing her mom was probably going to let her have it because of how rude she had been and not to mention she had done it in a public place and if there was one thing Avery knew her mom hated it was a public spectacle.
One that made her look bad anyway.