July 2010
“You aren’t moving out on me?” Ethan questioned as he sat on Avery’s bed and watched her pack to go see Cordelia for the weekend.
Two weeks had passed since kissing Ethan twice and also running into Paisley and Avery had kept her scheduled visit to go see Cordelia for this month.
Something they had decided upon in February, that they’d spend one weekend together each month because if they didn’t do that with their busy lives they’d probably never see each other. Their relationship would never survive that.
Hell it was barely hanging on most days as it was it felt like.
Avery almost being so close to calling it quits after Cordelia’s shit while she was in Tulsa. She hadn’t though she was still hanging on and going to see the girl who she was still sort of pissed off at.
The girl who she now had secrets from because ever since two weeks ago she had continued kissing Ethan. Just kissing, nothing more because Avery didn’t want to cheat again…or at least do worse cheating than kissing.
It wasn’t like she wanted to even continue kissing Ethan but his kisses made her feel alive as well as forget most days that Paisley was engaged to be married in just a few months.
“No,” Avery answered with a shake of her head. “I just don’t know what all Cordy has planned so I’m packing everything I own I guess,” she teased him as she stuck her tongue out at him playfully.
Rolling her eyes when he raised a hand to flip her the bird.
“Are you going to tell her about running into Paisley?” Ethan asked so innocently.
“No,” Avery sighed as she shook her head. “Why should I? It was just a run in and nothing happened that could ruin my relationship with my girlfriend,” she reasoned though she felt guilty when she said that.
She knew her kisses with Ethan could ruin stuff with Cordelia. She just wasn’t ready to admit it. Didn’t even really like talking about them which was why she was glad Ethan never brought them up.
Ethan nodded his head as he ran a hand through his long brown hair. His hair long enough that he was starting to resemble her brother Zac.
Except Zac had cut his hair around Christmas a few months back and it was still short. But if Zac’s hair had been long the resemblance would have been even stronger.
“Is there something you want to say?” Avery asked him getting the feeling Ethan did want to say something more but that he was holding off on it.
Felt that he was holding out on her which was unusual because they usually told each other everything.
But that was before they had started playing tonsil hockey like it was going out of style.
“I do want to ask you something but it has nothing to do with what we’re even talking about right now,” Ethan confessed as his cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink.
Avery even hating that she had that thought. That she was finding it cute when he blushed.
“Well, what is it?” Avery questioned feeling apprehensive about whatever it was he wanted to ask her. As well as hoping it wasn’t just him wanting to kiss because she really didn’t want to kiss him hours before she saw her girlfriend.
It would probably make her hate herself even more when she saw Cordelia again.
Ethan took a deep breath as he ran his hand through his hair again, doing his best to avoid making eye contact with Avery.
“I was wondering if you’d come to New York with me next month when I go to visit my mom and sister for my birthday,” he told her and Avery just paused.
She wasn’t sure why she was shocked by the question but she was. Maybe it was because in all of her time since becoming friends with Ethan, she had never met his family. Though he always talked so lovingly about them and how nice they were.
Even raved on about his mom’s home cooked meals and how Avery should trade recipe secrets with her one day.
Chewing on her lip Avery knew she should say no. It would be the best answer but as she opened her mouth to speak she also knew that wouldn’t be what she said at all. “I…sure,” she agreed with a nod of her head. “I’d love to go and maybe I can finally trade some recipe secrets with your mom.”
Ethan grinned at Avery’s response as he stood from her bed. Walking to where she was he soon enveloped her in a hug that she returned.
Her eyes falling shut as they hugged because it felt nice. It felt good and she didn’t feel like she was suffocating at his touch.
It was also the last time she’d probably feel that way this weekend since Cordelia did make her feel suffocated even from a simple touch.
When Ethan pulled away Avery returned his smile though neither said another word. He left her room to let her continue her packing.
Something that she continued and had almost gotten done when her phone which was laying on her night stand signaled that she had a text.
It was only after she finished it up that she went to check her phone. Surprised to see a text from Juniper because well distance and busy life made them not as close anymore.
That and Avery was sure that Juniper had sided with Cordelia when she had found out that Avery had cheated with Paisley. Regardless of Juniper’s girlfriend being Paisley’s best friend.
Opening the text from Juniper she read it over.
Hey, sorry if you’re busy but I was just wonder is your email still ArtsyAvie@gmail.com?
Yes, but why are you asking? You rarely email me Junie.
Just…I was just wondering. Wanted to send you a few old pictures I found the other day when unpacking some boxes in mine and Cal’s new house. Which speaking of you and Cordy need to get your asses to North Carolina at some point to come and see us.
Laughing at the last bit Avery only shook her head. Because at least she knew it was true. She and Cordelia did need to go and see them.
But as she reread the text again she couldn’t help but doubt the first bit. Wasn’t sure at all if the pictures were the true reason that Juniper wanted her email.
She knew better than to press the issue though.
I’ll mention it to Cordy and see what she says. Hopefully we can work something out. That or you and Cal can come to California to see us.
Yeah, that would be good too. I know Cal wants to get out that way to see Pai and Pai’s partner.
Frowning at the last text, Avery put her phone back down. Hating that it hurt just how casually Juniper could bring up Paisley in a conversation with her now. Hated how easy it was for her to text about Paisley and her soon to be wife.
As if Juniper didn’t think it would hurt her and maybe she didn’t think that. Maybe she was under the assumption that after all this time Avery had moved on when she hadn’t.
Though she was trying now. She was doing what Paisley had told her in the bathroom and she was trying to move on even if it killed her.
Sitting on Cordelia’s couch with her laptop hours later, Avery chewed on her lip as she clicked into her email. It was the only chance she’d get to check it tonight.
She knew once Cordelia got back with their Chinese food order that they’d both be preoccupied. They were going to binge watch romantic comedy movies and then they were going to have sex. The sex Cordelia had said was because she felt awful still for canceling their Skype plans when she had been in Tulsa.
Avery wanted to believe her but she didn’t in the end.
Shaking her head she came out of her thoughts though as her email inbox finally opened. Not in the least bit surprised to see no email from Juniper but she was surprised by one of the emails that was waiting for her and also equally as surprised at who had sent it.
To: ArtsyAvie@gmail.com
From: PhotosofPaisley@gmail.com
Subject: Fuck You, Hanson
July 23, 2010
Honestly, just like the subject of this email says, fuck you. Fuck you for saying what you did at that damn club. Fuck you for getting under my skin again and opening old wounds I thought I had closed. I was doing so well, I was so happy with Sloan and now. Now everything feels so damn wrong and my world feels like it has been turned upside down.
This was the last thing I needed. I’m getting married on the damn fourteenth of November for fucks sake. I don’t need to be so affected by you and your damn words. I don’t need to be craving just to be in your presence again because I got that two weeks ago and somehow you’re like a damn drug.
When I get one hit I need another right after. I’m not even sure why I’m sending this either to be honest. Maybe because I want you to know what you did to me and feel bad about it. Knowing you though you won’t because see, you may have said you would have chosen me had Cordy’s dad not came out when he did back then but you fucked me up so bad that I don’t know if I can trust a word you say.
You’ll probably just get this and not care because in the end you never truly cared about me did you?
Swallowing hard after she read Paisley’s email to her. Avery had to blink several times to keep tears from coming out of her eyes.
She wasn’t even sure where to begin or how to respond to it. If Paisley even wanted a response at all. Though now her text with Juniper made sense it seemed.
Juniper had no intentions of sending her pictures. She was just playing the person in the middle so Paisley could have Avery’s email address.
Taking a deep breath Avery just looked at the email some more. Hitting on reply but before she could even start typing a response the front door of the apartment opened and Avery shut her laptop quickly as Cordelia stepped inside.
Avery hoping beyond hope that she could keep her composure now. That somehow her face or her emotions didn’t betray her because the last thing she needed was to have to tell Cordelia about the email she had got today.
Knew in her gut it would just make them argue and even though she may have been mad at Cordelia. May have been holding on to anger she didn’t want to argue.
She loved it when they didn’t argue. She loved it when they just played pretend and pushed all their real thoughts and feelings to the side.
Even if it meant her being stuck in a dead relationship.