July 2010
Smirking as she kissed Cordelia, both of them tangled up together on the couch. Whatever movie they had been watching on Netflix long forgotten, Avery let her eyes fall shut when her girlfriend’s hand found its way into the pajama pants she had changed into after dinner.
A loud moan coming out as she broke the kiss when Cordelia ran her index finger slowly over her pussy.
It had been ages since she had been touched like this by her girlfriend or okay it had only been a month but a month was too damn long.
Just like it felt like heaven having someone else’s hand on her besides her own hand.
“You sound so good when you moan for me,” Cordelia spoke softly as she once again let her index finger move over Avery’s slit, which was beginning to get wet. Her arousal for her girlfriend growing by the second and even if the love wasn’t there on Avery’s part at least she had lust.
She always had lust and sexual needs which needed filling.
Of course though she’d never admit that to her girlfriend though. That all she ever truly felt for her was lust and sometimes even that was rare.
Because most times when she did get off it wasn’t her girlfriend she was thinking about.
As wrong as it was it was the girl who had emailed her today that she still pictured just to get an orgasm.
“Oh yeah?” Avery asked softly as she leaned in to kiss Cordelia softly. “How about making me moan some more then,” she requested with a wink.
Her head falling back when Cordelia finally inserted a finger inside her. The finger moving slowly as she began to fuck Avery with it.
Avery’s mouth falling open when Cordelia’s lips moved down to her neck, leaving little kisses as she continued to move her finger. A second finger soon joining the first inside of Avery.
“You took your necklace off,” Cordelia said as her breath hit Avery’s skin creating goosebumps and of course she’d notice the necklace was gone.
Avery was sure the damn necklace was something Cordelia had wanted gone forever. Now that it was gone she noticed and somehow her voicing that was enough to end whatever sexy mood Avery was in right now.
Reaching down she removed Cordelia’s hand from her pants, not missing the confused look her girlfriend gave her.
Cordelia either acting or not truly knowing that her saying that would ruin the moment they were having.
“Is something wrong?” Cordelia asked and at least Avery was sure she heard genuine confusion in her voice.
Then again Cordelia was an actress and she could have learned to fake genuine confusion too.
Sighing, Avery sat up some which forced Cordelia to get up as well. “I’m just…I’m not in the mood now,” she admitted knowing damn well where Cordelia’s mind would go.
She’d bring Paisley up, something she hadn’t done in years. She also wouldn’t be wrong either in her assumption because it was Cordelia mentioning the necklace that Paisley had given to her being gone that had ended her horniess on the spot.
“Because I mentioned the necklace?” Cordelia asked though it was more of a statement.
Nodding her head Avery had to look away from Cordelia. Not even having it in her to deny the truth for once which was maybe a good thing.
Maybe being honest with Cordelia about something for once was a step in the right direction.
Cordelia let out a long suffering sigh. Acting as if she was the one who was upset which maybe in ways she was. Avery had once again done something to make her jealous of Paisley.
Which once again mad her angry because her mind flashed to Tulsa and Cordelia’s dinner with Jane.
“Did you cheat on me with Jane?” Avery questioned knowing she was changing the subject but she didn’t care. The thought was back in her mind and she had to ask it.
“Why are you asking me that Avery?” Cordelia questioned and just like she was acting upset she sounded upset. Yet, even in her upset she hadn’t denied what Avery asked her.
Hadn’t said no that she hadn’t cheated on Avery with Jane.
Avery looked away from Cordelia as she ran a hand down her hair, “I’m asking because I want to know and I’ve wanted to know since you canceled our Skype date. Did you fuck Jane after having dinner with her?” she asked this time being more blunt in how she asked if her girlfriend had cheated.
Again Cordelia sighed which made Avery turn to look at her girlfriend and the silence as well as the guilty look on her face was all she needed to know to answer her question.
Cordelia had cheated on her with Jane. She had canceled their Skype date to have sex with another woman and now maybe Avery felt less guilty for her kisses that she shared with Ethan.
Maybe she felt less like she was always the one screwing up because Cordelia had too. Cordelia had turned to another woman.
“Did you even have plans on telling me?” Avery asked which she knew was a funny question coming from her.
She had planned to never tell Cordelia once upon a time about when she had cheated with Paisley a year ago.
“No,” Cordelia admitted her voice all soft which let Avery knew she was close to tears. “It was a mistake but god, it was something..it was something I couldn’t control. Being around her felt nice. It felt good and it was what I needed after…it was just what I needed.”
Closing her eyes Avery took several breaths as she tried to compose herself. Not sure why this conversation hurt so much.
It wasn’t like she loved Cordelia too much to feel deep betrayal but maybe in the end she had expected better from her.
“It was what you needed after feeling dead inside for so long,” Avery told her because wasn’t that how she felt now every time she kissed Ethan. “Because we have a dead relationship and it’s slowly killing us Cordy.”
Cordelia reached up to wipe at her eyes, the action being the thing to let Avery know that she had finally broken. That Cordelia was now crying.
“Is this your way of breaking up with me?” she asked her voice still soft but also choked up.
Avery wishing she could cry but even if this conversation and the revelation that Cordelia had cheated hurt her, it still wasn’t enough to make her cry.
In actuality despite the pain it was a long time coming really, she guessed. Knew Ethan would say as much when she got back home and told him about this.
Almost expected he’d throw a party because that was just how Ethan was.
Taking a deep breath Avery let her nails dig into the palm of her hand. Trying to do anything that would make her cry. Yet even that failed.
“I guess maybe it is,” Avery confirmed with a frown. Hating that once the words left her mouth that Cordelia broke down crying even more.
Hated that Cordelia was taking this so hard even though she clearly knew the truth as well. She knew just like Avery that their relationship was dead. Had always been that way but they had been two kids stubbornly hanging on.
They still were two kids but that didn’t mean they had to stubbornly hang on either. They both deserved better.
Things fell silent between them again minus a sniffle from Cordelia every so often which only made Avery feel worse. Even if she knew this was the right thing to do.
It was enough that she wanted to reach over and comfort the girl who had been her best friend long before she had ever been her girlfriend. She didn’t though because she knew Cordelia wouldn’t accept it.
Knew that she’d only push Avery away.
“I…umm…I’m going to go to my room,” Cordelia finally spoke once she had composed herself enough. “You can sleep on the couch and I guess head back home tomorrow,” she said as she stood from the couch.
Avery frowning as she looked up at Cordelia who only offered her a sad little smile before turning to walk away. Leaving Avery alone in the living room in even more silence.
As well as leaving her with her thoughts which was a bad thing.
It was with that knowledge that Avery soon moved to get her laptop which was still on and opened to the email which she hadn’t been sure what to even say to it. Still wasn’t sure but she found herself responding anyway.
To: PhotosofPaisley@gmail.com
From: ArtsyAvie@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Fuck You, Hanson
July 24, 2010
I probably deserved everything you said to me in your email and I’m sorry I’ve effectively ruined you so much. Especially when you were the goddamn sun. So bright and happy and I was the moon. I was the one that had a dark side.
I guess I still do though don’t I? I mean look what I made you become. Look what I’ve done to you.
I hope this feeling doesn’t last long for you, especially since you have Sloan and you’re marrying her.
I just wanted you to know I did care…I do care even now. I will always care about you Paisley Brianna Chambers and nothing is ever going to change that.
I’m also going to take your advice and try to move on. In trying that though I had to end things with Cordelia and I have done that tonight. I’m officially single and it was probably a long time coming, my ending things with her. But I did it and it hurt. I think it hurt her more than me but it had to be done and again I guess that goes to show all I do is ruin people.
I ruined you and I ruined Cordy. I’m probably going to lose my friendship with Junie when she has to pick sides because the sad reality is I don’t know if Cordy and I can even remain friends anymore. I mean you and I didn’t remain friends.
I wish we had though and if you ever want to call me or hang out here is my number. 435-554-5555. I know I don’t expect a call or that to even happen but I guess I can hope, especially since I am starting a new chapter in my life and I’d love you to be in that chapter somehow.
Love Always,
Avery