July 2010
Avery nervously chewed on her lip as she sat at the kitchen table with Cordelia at breakfast. The tension between them so thick that she was sure it could be cut with a knife.
It almost made Avery regret breaking up with her. Though she knew it was the right thing to do. She was also sure Cordelia knew that too.
It just didn’t seem like Cordelia wanted to admit it yet. Not with the glares that she was giving Avery from across the table.
Heaving a sigh Avery took a long sip of her coffee. “Will you tell me what’s on your mind?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.
Avery wasn’t sure if she should have been the one to break the silence, but someone had too and Cordelia it seemed was going to be stubborn. Wasn’t going to be the first to break in this situation.
So Avery would be the one. Just like she was the one who had cut the cord and ended their relationship.
“I’m trying to understand how I could mess up once and you want to end things. But when you did the same thing to me last year I was the bigger person and gave you another chance,” Cordelia answered and Avery was right.
Cordelia was refusing to admit to herself this was right or even acknowledge the true issue they had. Their relationship had been dead and they were both suffering because of it. Both drowning and someone had to be the first to throw the towel in.
It just so happened to be Avery who was.
Avery once again took a sip of her coffee. This time as an excuse as she tried to find the right words to say. Words that wouldn’t make Cordelia angrier at her.
“This has nothing to do with you cheating,” Avery told her after she had swallowed her coffee. “It has to do with the fact that our relationship was dead. There was no spark there, both of us were feeling it. Otherwise you wouldn’t have felt that rush when you slept with Jane. I just…we both deserve to be happy and have relationships that make us feel alive and we both deserve to be free.”
Cordelia made a face but she fell silent. Avery letting the silence stay as she finished her coffee and food. Standing from the table once she was done.
Though she hadn’t even gotten to the sink when Cordelia spoke up, breaking the silence.
“I bet you’re going to run back to Paisley, aren’t you?” she asked so snidely. Sounding like somehow Paisley was responsible for this. “Probably have been wanting to end things with me so you could run right back into her arms.”
Avery shook her head as she finished the walk to the sink. Putting her dirty dishes in it, she just stood there and stayed turned away from Cordelia as she composed herself because the last thing they needed today was both of them angry and saying words that would hurt.
Not if they could somehow be friends again once the dust settled and Avery wanted that in the end. She didn’t want to lose a girl who had been one of her first ever friends way before she was her girlfriend.
“This has nothing to do with Paisley,” Avery countered as she finally turned to face Cordelia. “This is all about us and the fact that what we had wasn’t working. It was slowly killing us and I can’t take just going along in a dead relationship anymore,” she said as she shook her head. Tears finally welling up in her eyes and finding their way down her cheeks. “I just hope some day in the end we can be friends like we used to be,” she finished before moving to head to the living room.
She needed to get her things and head home. Was afraid if she stayed Cordelia would say worse and Avery wouldn’t be able to hold herself together.
She didn’t want angry words to be said and for them to go too far that they couldn’t come back from things. They had to come back because once upon a time they had been best friends forever.
Sitting in her room with Cordelia after the festivities of her tenth birthday had calmed down, Avery looked over at the other girl who was casually flipping through some teen magazine. Trying to find posters of Britney Spears because for some reason Cordelia was a fan of her.
Though Avery thought her music was kind of eh. Then again Avery was also a Backstreet Boys fan so she had no room to talk.
“Hey Cordy,” Avery spoke watching as Cordelia looked over at her. “Can you promise me we’ll be friends forever?” she questioned with a raised eyebrow.
She wasn’t even sure why she was asking really. She just wanted confirmation that as they grew up and got older that Cordelia would always be there.
Her mom still had girls she was friends with from her childhood days and Avery even with as young as she was saw how much Diana cherished those friendship.
Cordelia only grinned, “Always Avery. It’s you and me until the end,” she told her and both girls broke out laughing at that.
Probably because they realized how cheesy those words had sounded.
“You and me until the end,” Avery repeated though once their laughter had died down. “Always.”
Letting herself into her apartment, Avery felt exhausted and not just from the drive back home but also emotionally. Maybe mentally as well.
It was the kind of exhaustion she felt in her bones and one she knew she wouldn’t get enough sleep to even fix it. Though a part of her wanted to sleep for a month.
Something her brain reminded her she couldn’t do because of her job and then before she knew it come early September her college classes started back up.
Break up or not her world couldn’t be put on hold.
“Avery?” Ethan asked as he came out of the kitchen, a confused look on his face because of course she hadn’t called him and told him she was coming home early.
Hadn’t told him that she had ended things with Cordelia yesterday night. She knew he’d gloat and then she hadn’t wanted his gloating and this morning after the way Cordelia had acted it had just slipped her mind. Avery having gotten too caught up in just wanting to leave and not make things worse.
“Surprise,” Avery told him with a half-hearted smile as she sat her bags down by the couch. Not even stopping herself as she walked to where he was. “I broke up with Cordelia,” she revealed as she let out a sigh. “She cheated on me with Jane but that wasn’t the reason. It’s just…the relationships been dead for so long. I don’t…you were right I don’t love her.”
Ethan frowned though he didn’t say anything. He just reached out and pulled Avery into a hug. Avery allowing him to do so and the moment she was in his arms she broke down crying finally.
A part of her not sure if she was crying over the lost romantic relationship and the what if’s of if she had really loved Cordelia or crying because she was scared that she had lost a friend in the process.
“You’ll be okay,” Ethan murmured as he rubbed her back. The action being enough to calm Avery some but not enough to stop her tears. “How about you go take a nice relaxing bubble bath and I’ll make you my famous scrambled eggs with the ham bits thrown in that you love so much,” he spoke as he pulled away.
The suggestion sounding nice to Avery.
“O..okay,” she croaked out watching as he started to turn to walk back into the kitchen but before he could get too far she reached out. Grabbing for his arm and when he turned to face her, looking confused again she just leaned in to kiss him.
Her lips connecting with his in a kiss. Her whole body almost relaxing at the simple act of just kissing him. Of feeling his hands going to rest on her waist as he returned the kiss after a few seconds.
Avery feeling sure that while it seemed she wouldn’t survive this, she was sure that she could survive it. She had Ethan and she had his lips which she now liked kissing.
It was only when she heard someone clearing their throat that Avery pulled away from Ethan. Her eyes going to the entryway of the kitchen where Paisley and Sloan both stood.
Avery whipping her head towards Ethan so fast, watching as he just looked at her with a guilty expression. But she didn’t give him time to explain why Sloan and Paisley were in their apartment. She just walked away, heading into her bedroom where she quickly gathered her things for a bath.
A part of her wondering when he had planned to tell her that her ex and her fiance were in the kitchen or if he had hoped that they’d be gone by the time Avery was done in the bathroom. Avery having been none the wiser to who had been here.
Yet she had to go and kiss Ethan, which left his guests to come looking for him and they had seen her kissing Ethan. Paisley had seen her kissing Ethan.
It was a thought that made her want to be sick. Which was why she left her room without her clothes. Locked herself in the bathroom as she fell by the toilet though all she could do was dry heave. Nothing wanting to come out.