November 2010
Sitting at the bar where she cradled an alcoholic drink in her hand Avery pouted as she looked out at the dance floor where Ethan was dancing with some man. Had been dancing with the same man now for the last hour and wasn’t paying Avery any attention.
Which was new because ever since the day they had come home from him picking her up in San Fran they had been walking a fragile line of flirting and kissing again. Both of them it seemed having forgotten about the clear boundary they had set up to not kiss anymore.
Something Avery knew was playing with fire but then again wasn’t that her life since realizing she liked girls? She played with fire and didn’t seem to care about the burn she’d get in the end.
Was almost afraid that she sort of liked the burn.
A burn she was feeling right now watching Ethan with that man and ignoring her. He was fucking ignoring her on her birthday of all days. Her official twentieth birthday.
She was no longer a teenager though she sure as fuck didn’t feel like a mature adult either. Not yet anyway though she hoped that would come soon enough. Maybe when she had her shit together or something.
Taking a long drink from the fruity concoction that she had in her hands, Avery reached inside her purse which was on the stool beside her when she heard her phone vibrating from inside the purse. Knowing someone was trying to call her because before leaving tonight she had set her phone to vibrate.
Hitting talk once she had the phone out of her purse Avery held the phone to her ear, wondering who was calling her because everyone who was important had already called her.
Well everyone except her mom and Paisley but she didn’t expect a call from her mom, not when she had missed her last birthday and Paisley seemed slim to none since they hadn’t talked since September when Paisley had essentially chosen not to pick which in and of itself had been a choice.
She had chosen to stay with Sloan and now in a matter of days she’d be marrying her. It was something Avery tried to forget.
“Hello?” Avery questioned loudly once she had the phone to her ear. Covering her other ear so that she’d be able to hear whoever was on the other side better.
“Avie,” Juniper’s voice giggled slightly and Avery raised an eyebrow because Juniper had already called once today. “So, you know how when I called this morning I said Cal and I were in California?” she asked sounding all sweet. “Well we’re in LA for two nights before going to San Fran where we’ll stay until Pai’s wedding and I..we…we were wondering if you’d like to hang out tonight?” she asked and though she still sounded sweet Avery knew there was more in her tone.
Got the fact that she was asking for other reasons and Avery almost had a hunch what they were.
“But aren’t you guys busy doing things with Sloan and Pai?” Avery asked before taking a long drink of the drink she had barely finished.
Knew she’d need more alcohol in her system.
“Sloan’s out of town. Her friends decided to throw her a bachelorette party this weekend,” Juniper revealed which of course didn’t shock Avery.
She half suspected Sloan wasn’t in town. Especially if her hunch was correct.
“Paisley could have asked me herself,” Avery sighed deciding to cut to the chase. “Instead of having you ask me to hang out.”
Juniper went silent at that, like she was surprised by Avery’s words. Like she almost hadn’t expected Avery to see through things but well Avery wasn’t dumb. Her friend should have known she’d see through things.
Paisley should have fucking known she’d see through things.
“She was afraid you’d say no,” Juniper finally spoke and Avery sighed again taking another long drink. “I told her you could still say no but she believes you’d never tell me no which is funny because you tell me no all the damn time. It’s her you’d never say no too.”
Laughing as well Avery shook her head even though she knew Juniper couldn’t see her. “I’d love to hang out with you guys but I’m at a bar with Ethan right now,” she said looking over to see him making out with the guy he was still attached too and she hated the way it hurt to see that.
Hated that she was jealous because she had no reason being that way.
“Though I highly doubt he’d notice if I left right now,” Avery added on as she chewed her lip. “One of you guys would have to come pick me up.”
“I’m sure we can arrange something,” Juniper spoke. “Just give me the name of the bar,” she spoke sounding like she was moving around.
Probably trying to find something to write down the bars name.
Avery once again nodded her head giving Juniper the bar name before finally hanging up her phone. Slipping her phone back in her purse, she finished her drink before paying her tab and going outside.
Not even seeing the use in telling Ethan she was going. Because like she had told Juniper she highly doubted he’d notice her missing and she highly doubted he’d care.
Not when he had a boy toy to occupy him.
Sitting in the passenger side of a car almost twenty minutes later, Avery ran a hand through her hair as she did her best not to look at the driver. Not sure why she was surprised that it was Paisley who came to pick her up.
After all it was Paisley who had wanted to spend time with her tonight. It was Paisley who had used Juniper to get her to hang out with them.
“You going to stay quiet all night?” Paisley asked almost as if she had been inside Avery’s head. Knew that she was thinking of her. “Because the silent treatment is fine by me Hanson.”
Sighing Avery shook her head as she gazed out the window, “I’m not sure you’ll like what I say if I speak right now,” she said deciding she might as well be honest.
Paisley let out a small snort, “Oh Avie,” she muttered almost sounding like she was trying to patronize Avery. “Just tell me so we can get this argument out of the way,” she told her and Avery chewed on her lip, staying silent as Paisley pulled the car over on the side of some Los Angeles back road.
Avery wondering if Paisley had taken a back road because she knew they’d end up arguing. Gave her an excuse to pull over if she had too.
“I wish you’d stop showing up in my life when I’m trying to get over you,” Avery finally spoke as she unbuckled her seat belt. “I know the first time in July it was happenstance or some shit but tonight it wasn’t. You deliberately had Juniper call me so you could see me. You know what’s going to happen by the end of the night,” she said as she shook her head finally looking at Paisley. “We’re going to have sex and then tomorrow morning I’m going to have to decide to stay your side whore knowing you’ll be marrying Sloan in a few days or just walk away from you and once again try to move on until you find your way back into my life and I still wind up with the short end of the stick because you’ll still be married by then and I’ll still be your side whore in some way. You made a choice and that was not choosing and now you’ll be marrying a woman who you can’t even see yourself marrying and you need to let me move on.”
After she finished her speech Avery kept her gaze on Paisley, watching as a guilty look crossed the other woman’s face. Like the reality of Avery’s words sank in.
“I’m sorry I screw everything up for you Avie,” Paisley retorted and despite her guilt there was a bitterness in her tone that Avery heard. “But like I said you’re a drug for me and I need a hit of it…of you every so often. I know I shouldn’t and I know I need to live with whatever mess I made but I missed you too much today and it’s your birthday.”
Avery shook her head slightly, “You don’t screw everything up for me Pai,” she told her as she reached for her hand. Feeling a bit of relief when Paisley let her take a hold of her hand. “I’m just…I’m asking you if you still can’t make a choice to let me walk away from you at the end of the night without compromising my feelings. Don’t give me false hope.”
Feeling Paisley squeeze her hand, Avery looked down at their interlocked hands, a sad smile on her face.
“I won’t do that,” Paisley said and Avery looked back at her. Hoping that she was telling the truth.
Before she had time to answer her though Paisley let go of her hand so Avery stayed silent. Watching as Paisley started the car and drove off again. Heading to a place Avery knew well.
It was the same apartment where they had first had sex after reconnecting again. Avery only hoping she could make it through the night without succumbing to her own need for Paisley.
Hoped that somehow she wouldn’t end up with false hope at the end of the night.