November 2010
Avery looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror at Ethan’s mom’s house. She had just finished getting ready to head to his grandparents house and she had taken extra care to make herself look nice. She somehow found herself wanting to impress Ethan’s grandparents just like she wanted to impress his mom now.
She had met his mom just a few months back but she had always felt they had gotten off on the wrong foot and now this felt like a redo. She could fix whatever mistakes she had unknowingly made before.
That and maybe she also wanted to look good because Ethan’s mom had invited Gideon and just seeing Gideon since yesterday when they had arrived had made her jealous. As did knowing that Ethan and Gideon had shared the guest bedroom last night. Though Ethan had sworn over breakfast in a whisper in her ear that nothing had happened between them.
Avery did believe him but how long would it stay that way? They were exes and she knew how hard it could be to let go of an ex, especially one you felt was the one who got away and she knew Ethan felt that way about Gideon.
Ethan felt like Gideon was the one who got away and how long until Gideon won him over again?
Whenever that happened Avery would be alone again with no rock after losing Paisley and Avery wasn’t sure she wanted that. She needed Ethan much more than she cared to admit and maybe that wasn’t healthy but that was just the way things were now. Maybe they had always been that way since she had met him really.
“Avie?” Ethan asked from the other side of the door. “Are you almost ready? I need to get in there and get ready too.”
“Yeah, just a second,” Avery told him as she gave her makeup another once over before looking down at the dress she had on. Smiling at the way she saw it fit her body.
It showed all her curves in a way she liked, which was good since she felt a bit self conscious every time she saw Gideon. The last thing she needed was to feel fat.
Taking a deep breath Avery walked to the door and opened it, a smile playing on her lips again when she watched Ethan’s mouth drop some. “Do I look awful?” she asked teasingly.
She knew he didn’t find her awful looking but some narcissistic side of her wanted him to say he didn’t find her awful looking.
“You look fantastic,” Ethan told her as he stepped in to leave a light kiss on her cheek. “I want to take you to bed and ravish you actually,” he whispered so only she could hear and his words made her blush as well as turn her on slightly.
“We don’t have time for that,” Avery told him with a smirk. “Anyway even if we did you couldn’t because your mom still thinks I am fully lesbian,” she told him knowing they hadn’t even had a chance to tell Caitlin about them. Not with the surprise of Gideon being here being strung on both of them and they had decided on the way to New York that they wouldn’t do anything until his mom knew.
It was the only way Avery could think to go about it as not to freak Caitlin out.
“Yeah, yeah but I make no promises for when we get back whether my mom knows or not,” Ethan told her pointedly before slipping into the bathroom and leaving Avery alone in the hallway.
Blushing Avery turned and headed into the living room not missing the curious look that Ethan’s sister Norah gave her. It was almost like Norah knew that she and Ethan were hiding something, she just hadn’t put all the puzzle pieces together.
Feeling her blush grow after noting that look Avery turned her head to Gideon who was seated by Norah on the couch and from the glare that he was giving her she was sure he had put the pieces together already.
Gideon knew that Ethan was fooling around with Avery and it probably made him jealous because he wanted Ethan back. Probably had every intention of getting him back while he was home for Thanksgiving. A thought that turned Avery’s stomach some as she imagined it.
Blushing even more Avery averted her eyes away from Gideon as well as she went to sit in a free chair. Everyone now waiting for Ethan to get ready because of course he had chosen to get ready last.
It was like him, the fucking diva.
Sitting at the dinner table by Ethan, Avery furrowed her brows as she watched him looking at his mother and sister. The both of them in a heated discussion in the living room now.
Caitlin had taken Norah in there after Norah had announced her pregnancy over dinner. A pregnancy where the father of her baby just happened to be her ex-fiance. Norah and the man having broken up sometime in October and now here she was pregnant and seemingly happy.
Though Caitlin did not seem to be happy for her daughter and everyone else here did not know how to react. Avery knew it seemed like everyone else was happy. Even Gideon seemed happy at the news but yet they were all holding it in for Caitlin’s sake.
“Do you think your mom will come around?” Avery asked in a hushed voice. Afraid that somehow Caitlin would hear her and involve her in whatever argument she was having with her daughter and that was the last thing Avery wanted.
Not when she was still trying to make a good impression with his mom.
“I think she will,” Ethan answered sounding not so sure of his words. “My mom is usually rather accepting of everything. I mean she loves me for me and I don’t label my sexuality. I love who I love so I don’t see what the difference would be between me and my sister getting pregnant by a guy she is no longer with. Women get pregnant out of wedlock all the time and they do fine raising babies as single mothers.”
Avery had to bite her lip to keep from telling Ethan that not all mothers were like that. Her mother would never approve of a daughter getting pregnant out of wedlock. Not with how she had handled Taylor getting Natalie pregnant.
With Isaac, Avery wasn’t sure her mother had reacted too badly but then again Isaac had been a grown adult and older than Taylor and Natalie.
Also not to mention Diana had not reacted well to Avery being a lesbian whereas Caitlin was okay with Ethan’s sexuality so Diana Hanson was no Caitlin Winston. Maybe Caitlin would come around to Norah’s news even if it wasn’t by the end of the night.
Maybe all the woman needed was to sleep on it.
“You know she will come around Ethan,” Gideon piped up before Avery could even say anything and Avery hated that it made her angry a bit. She should be the one saying that to Ethan, she had been the one to ask the question after all.
“I hope so but I have never seen her this angry,” Ethan frowned as he nodded towards the living room. Avery reaching down for his hand which she squeezed once he let her tangle their fingers together.
“Oh I have seen her this angry,” Irene, Caitlin’s mother piped up. “The night your father told her he was leaving her for his mistress but she finally got over that Ethan so this too shall pass.”
“Yeah and she slashed his tires before she came around to what my dad did,” Ethan muttered though he sounded amused by it and Avery had to admit the image of it made her want to laugh.
She could also see where Ethan got his quirky side from. It came from his mother obviously.
“Well let’s all hope she doesn’t slash your sister’s tires,” Irene said which made everyone laugh. Their laughter seeming to make the fighting in the living room stop as both Norah and Caitlin turned to look at them and Avery could see when they did they both looked guilty. Like they felt bad for their argument and that everyone had seen it.
She almost wished things had been so simple between her and her own mother.
It seemed after the laughter that was what Norah and Caitlin needed to come to their senses though because both of them came back into the kitchen and Caitlin actually congratulated her daughter. Though to Avery’s ears it sounded a bit forced but it was a small step in the right direction and that was a start.
Squeezing Ethan’s hand after his mom had done that, Avery gave him a smile when he turned to look at her and Avery was thankful when things stayed civil and people returned to eating. Ethan’s sister finally getting congratulations from everyone as well now that her mother had seemingly broken.
“So you and my brother?” Norah spoke as she came to sit down beside Avery on the couch at the Winston household once they were all back from Caitlin’s parents house. “You two are together this time, aren’t you? Even though you are a lesbian.”
“I wouldn’t say we are together,” Avery said as she looked away from Norah, feeling her cheeks getting hot. “But I guess we’re sorta fooling around.”
“Sorta,” Norah laughed softly. “You either are or you aren’t so I am going to say that you are. I just hope you two use protection or you will end up in my situation. Pregnant and my mother will probably be disappointed again. She always thought I’d be married when I had my first baby.”
Feeling her cheeks getting hotter Avery kept her gaze off Norah, “We haven’t..we aren’t having sex yet,” she said not sure if she should tell Norah that but maybe she wanted to ease the girl’s mind after the night she had. “Just fooling around. Doing other things.”
“But you two will have sex eventually, trust me from the looks he has been giving you since you’ve been here you will be and just use protection, okay?”
Avery nodded at Norah’s words, pretty sure that her face now resembled a tomato from how embarrassed she felt about this conversation.
“We’ll use protection,” Avery told her even though she wasn’t sure they would have sex no matter how Ethan was looking at her. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to go that far with him again or if she would ever be ready. She had told herself she hadn’t liked the sex much and maybe over time she had made herself believe it.
“Good,” Norah said and as Avery finally looked back at her, she saw the girl smiling. It was a smile Avery returned though hers felt kind of fake.
After she had returned the smile Norah stood from the couch and headed down the hallway to her room, leaving Avery alone in the living room and Avery stayed there for a bit. Trying to forget what Norah had said and how guilty she felt for knowing she could probably never have sex with Ethan.
Maybe it would be best if Gideon did take him back in the end.
Getting off the couch after a while Avery slowly walked down to the guest room and once she had entered and turned on the light, she paused when she saw Ethan on the bed.
“E?” she asked not surprised when he raised his head to give her a smirk. “How long have you been waiting in here?”
Ethan shrugged nonchalantly, “A few minutes at least,” he said as he sounded like a school boy getting in trouble but she knew from the smirk he had he wouldn’t mind the trouble. “I had to wait until Gideon was asleep because I didn’t want to face a ton of questions about where I was going.”
“Ah so you had to be stealth?” Avery asked as she walked to the bed where Ethan was, shutting the door behind her as she did so.
The last thing she wanted or needed was someone aka Caitlin to come down the hall for something and find Ethan in her room. Not after how that woman’s night had been. She’d probably be disappointed all over again and wonder what was happening. Why Ethan was with Avery when he could have been with Gideon.
“Stealth is my middle name,” Ethan teased as he pulled Avery down onto the bed once she was close enough to reach. “I thought you knew that already.”
“Sure it is,” Avery retorted teasing Ethan right back. “I think Gideon knows about us anyway so you could have just told him. Unless you don’t want too.”
“I wouldn’t mind telling him but I just don’t like answering all the questions I know he’d ask me,” Ethan shrugged and Avery let Ethan pull her into a cuddle. “He’d get personal and I’m not in the mood to be too personal right now.”
Raising her eyebrows Avery looked at him and the way Ethan’s smirk went away she knew he realized he had said the wrong thing. That his words would cause her to get personal right now.
“How would he get personal?” Avery asked not even thinking over what she wanted to ask.
“He’d ask me if I loved you,” Ethan said and Avery felt a weird feeling at her chest at the thought of that. “He’d know if I lied because he knows me so well.”
“And you do love me,” Avery stated because it was a fact. She knew Ethan loved her, maybe more than he ought too, especially when Avery wasn’t sure she was in love with him or that she could ever love him. Even if he did make her get funny feelings in her chest and her stomach.
“I love you,” Ethan repeated saying the words with a certainty that scared Avery. It scared her so much that she didn’t want to continue this conversation right now.
They could finish it tomorrow.
Smiling softly Avery leaned in to kiss him on the lips, “How about ravishing me now?” she asked knowing she was changing the subject but hoping Ethan didn’t call her on it…or well she was more like praying that he didn’t.
“You just changed the subject,” Ethan spoke doing what Avery hadn’t wanted him to do and calling her on it. “But I’ll never pass up a chance to ravish you so this conversation can be backburned until tomorrow,” he whispered before kissing her again and as they kissed Avery let her eyes fall shut.
A small part of her hoping that while they fooled around her brain could shut down too cause boy did she need that. She needed her brain to shut down at the idea of Ethan loving her and her not deserving that love. Not when she couldn’t return it, though she wanted too and she knew she could.
She could if things were different but they weren’t or so she liked to believe anyway.