November 2010
Looking in the mirror at her reflection Avery sighed as she ran a hand through her short hair. Having decided on an impulse after work yesterday to get it cut.
After all cutting her hair it seemed was the one thing she could control. She had no control over her love life, she had no control over Paisley who today was off marrying someone else. But her hair she had control over so she had decided to cut it.
Going for a bob which was a look she hadn’t had in years. At least since she was fourteen maybe. She just preferred her hair long but sometimes you just had to step outside of your comfort zone which was what Avery had done. She had stepped outside of her comfort zone.
Shaking her head Avery reached for a hair dryer so that she could dry her hair and then leave the bathroom. Knowing she just needed to get out of the house today.
Ethan was already gone, having decided to go to the wedding. Something she had given her blessing too though even with that it he had been wary. But she had given him her best smile and a long kiss on the lips and told him to go.
It wasn’t her place to tell him not to go. It never would be her place to do that.
Once her hair was dry Avery left the bathroom, walking to the living room where she slipped on a pair of shoes before getting her purse and keys. Heading out of the apartment.
She still wasn’t sure where she was going to go. She just hoped wherever she went she could get her mind off what today was. That she could forget that the person she felt so deeply inside of her was still hers was marrying someone else.
Paisley was choosing to marry someone who she couldn’t even fucking see herself marrying and giving up the person she could.
Making it to her car, Avery got inside, turning the car on as well as turning the music up before taking off. Just driving as she rolled the windows down. Hating the way that her mind just kept going back to what today was instead of forgetting and maybe on her way home tonight she’d buy some wine or some shit.
Hope the alcohol could be what made her forget.
Avery who was sitting in the sand at the beach, her sketchbook in hand as she drew the water, was broken from whatever trance she had been in from drawing when her phone rang.
Making a face she laid her sketchbook down as she reached for the phone. Not even having to check the id because she knew from the ringtone it was Ethan calling. Which made sense because the wedding was probably over though she had suspected he’d go to the reception as well.
“Hello?” Avery asked after she had hit to talk, bringing the phone to her ear.
“Avie darling, I’m just calling to say the wedding is done,” he informed her and he paused, probably giving her time to take in that Paisley was now married. “I would have gone to the reception but the label wants to have a meeting on a fucking Sunday. Probably to figure out what they want the first single to be and when they want to release it. After that, I think I’m going to run by the studio where Brandon is at. Help him with a few of his songs and if you want to come you can,” he told her in a ramble almost.
Avery knowing she should have taken him up on the offer to hang out but what she really wanted was to just be alone. Wanted to cry and be alone.
Shaking her head despite knowing Ethan couldn’t see her, Avery sighed, “I think I’ll pass,” she told him honestly as she swallowed over a lump in her throat. “I’ll see you when you get home though,” she said hanging up before he could even say anything else.
Laying her phone back down Avery didn’t go back to drawing. Instead she broke down crying, bringing her knees closer to her chest as she buried her head in them.
Avery who had went to bed as soon as she got back home. Opened her eyes when she felt someone crawling into bed beside her, her body turning to face the person, though she didn’t know why she had too. She knew it was Ethan because there was no one else it would be.
The only other person who’d be getting into bed with her had married someone else today.
“What time is it?” Avery asked sleep still apparent in her voice.
“A little after one,” Ethan informed her as he moved a bit closer to her. His hand going to push some hair out of her face. “Did I wake you?” he asked, sounding a bit sorry.
Avery shook her head though they both knew it was a lie. He had woken her but to be honest it had been a fitful sleep anyway.
“You’re a shit liar,” Ethan laughed softly as he slid an arm around her waist. “I woke you up. You should just admit that.”
“Fine you woke me up,” Avery relented playfully feeling a bit content in Ethan’s arms. “Why’d you come in my room anyway?”
“Because it felt weird not seeing you in my bed,” Ethan stated bringing up the fact that since they had started fooling around again she’d been sleeping in his bedroom with him.
Even on nights when they didn’t fool around.
“Just wanted to make sure you were okay and if you weren’t I wanted to make it better for you.”
Raising an eyebrow Avery caught Ethan’s green eyes in the dark, “And just how did you plan to make me feel better?” she asked though she had an idea what he meant.
“You know what I had in mind,” Ethan told her as his voice went low. “I was going to make you come because orgasms temporarily make things better.”
Laughing Avery rolled her eyes, “Only you would think I’d need an orgasm to feel better because Paisley married someone who wasn’t me.”
“But you probably do,” Ethan said his voice still low and Avery hated to admit how much that turned her on. “If you do I’m offering my services.”
Feeling a blush come to her cheeks Avery laughed again though it was kind of forced because he may have had a point. Maybe she did need an orgasm to get some of her feelings out. But it was late and he had a busy day from going to the wedding, to the meeting with his label which she still wanted answers about, then going to help Brandon in the studio.
“Aren’t you tired?” Avery asked him curiously.
“Never too tired for sexual favors. Does that mean you want some?”
Pausing Avery blushed a bit more before sighing. She knew there was no use in denying what she wanted and needed. “Yeah,” she answered hating how soft and needy she sounded. “Please,” she added on and fucking hell she was begging Ethan in a way to get her off.
This was new and maybe he had accomplished his goal of wrecking her in ways.
“Then your wish is my command,” Ethan spoke before leaning in to kiss her and as she returned the kiss Avery let her eyes fall shut.
Her body was moving so that she was laying on her back and somehow the kiss with Ethan never broke. He just moved with her. His hand eventually making it’s way inside the pajama shorts she had on. A small whine escaping her mouth as he rubbed her already embarrassingly wet flesh.
Which was an easy task as she hadn’t put panties on tonight. Something that was rare for her and she wasn’t even sure why she hadn’t tonight.
“What do you want me to do?” Ethan asked as he pulled away from the kiss. His hand still rubbing at her, causing her to move her hips into his touch every so often. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want you to eat me,” Avery admitted as her blush came back. It was something he hadn’t done for her ever and she wasn’t even sure he liked eating pussy because they had never talked about what they liked and didn’t like. “I mean if you want too,” she added on after a few seconds. “I know some men don’t like it.”
Avery watched as Ethan smirked some as he looked down at her or at least it looked like a smirk from what she could make out in the dark.
“I like eating pussy though Avery,” he told her as slipped two fingers inside of her. Causing her to let out a loud moan at the intrusion. “Been dying to taste you since that first time. Regretted not doing it then and never expected I’d get to do this but fucking hell I jerked off to the thought enough.”
Smirking at that Avery could only moan though again as his fingers began to fuck into her hard. Ethan obviously not seeing the use in going slow.
Not that Avery was complaining. Maybe she wanted something hard, wanting to hurt physically just like she hurt emotionally too.
It made sense in her mind anyway or so she kept telling herself.
Leaning up she kissed him again. Her eyes falling shut as he kept fucking her with his fingers, her hips soon catching onto his rhythm and moving with them. Chasing a feeling that would make her feel good. Make her come apart before he even had time to use his tongue.
But there was nothing wrong with having two orgasms. Hell, she could use two orgasms right now or so she told herself.
Anything to make her feel happy when all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry…or die. Either option had their benefits in her opinion.
If she were dead then she wouldn’t have to always know in her heart that Paisley was officially someone else’s. Had pledged her life to someone else and if she was crying well, then she could just get some of her emotions out.
Emotions that Avery knew sex would numb for awhile but not forever. Nothing could make her truly stop feeling so hurt and maybe slightly betrayed by Paisley.
Because if Paisley really loved her, how could she have married someone else?
Then again maybe Paisley wanted her like this because maybe this was how she felt when Avery had chosen Cordelia over her.
“I’m close already,” Avery whispered into Ethan’s mouth which only made him work his fingers more. Letting Avery know she was right about her assumption then. He was going to give her two orgasms tonight and she swore if she wasn’t fragile..if Paisley hadn’t broken her that she could love him.
She could fall in love with Ethan.
Kissing him a bit harder as her orgasm hit, Avery bit down on his bottom lip to keep herself from screaming because even during her orgasm he found a way to move his fingers. Found a way to hit that one spot she really liked being touched and her whole body almost felt like jelly.
A small part of her not sure she’d survive when he was between her legs but she’d find a way goddamn it. She would find a way.
After her orgasm had settled down, Ethan slipped his fingers out of her as he pulled away from the kiss. His hand going to push her pajama shorts off her then and Avery just watched as Ethan then moved down her body. His hands spreading her legs as he moved in between them.
Kissing the lips of her cunt and her eyes fell shut at that. Her head falling back as he continued to kiss at her flesh, teasing her and making her on edge because even though she had just came she needed more.
Wanted more from him.
“Ethan,” Avery whined out finally as she opened her eyes again to look down at him. “Please,” she told him as her voice went all soft the moment they locked eyes. “Need you to eat me now.”
Ethan only gave her a wink and Avery swore she saw a slight smirk on his lips before he moved closer into her. His lips doing more than just kissing her now. His tongue coming out as he made contact with her and as he started to lick at her, Avery let her eyes shut again.
A small moan coming out at how good he was at what he was doing. Avery wondering just how many women he had done this too..but then again also not wanting to know either because she was sure it was a lot and if she knew she’d just be comparing herself to all of them.
Which was something she didn’t want since in the end Ethan didn’t have any men to compare himself to when it came to her and she doubted he was comparing himself to Cordelia, Paisley or Harper.
Then again maybe he was. But that still didn’t mean she wanted to know the exact number of women he’d been with or even men for that matter.
All she cared about or wanted to care about was that he was here right now between her legs. That he was the one making her feel good when her day had been shitty.
“Oh, Ethan,” she muttered out as she felt his tongue go to flick at her clit. “I’m..fuck,” she sighed out as she moved her hips up some. Knowing she was pathetically already close to another orgasm.
“You’re what darling?” Ethan asked as he moved away from her and their eyes locked again. “Are you close already?” he asked her with a laugh but it wasn’t a mocking one. It was more just him being cocky which was why she hated it when she nodded.
Knew she was making his ego grow.
“Then come for me yeah,” he told her as he leaned back in but he didn’t move to do anything. “Come and let me know how well I’m doing,” he spoke before finally licking at her again.
His tongue not even working her for long before she was coming undone again. Her legs tightening around his head slightly as her body stilled for a bit.
Ethan only moving from between her legs after she had loosened her legs some. Avery chewing on her lip as she watched him move to lay beside her. The bulge in his boxers apparent to her.
“Do you need me to help you with your little problem?” she asked him watching as he blushed slightly. His hand slowly slipping inside of his boxers at that.
Avery feeling her eyes getting a bit bigger as she watched the movement after that. Knowing what he was doing. He was jacking off right beside her.
“No,” Ethan smirked as he turned to look at her. “Tonight was all about pleasing you. But if you want you can watch as I get myself off,” he whispered so filthy that Avery felt a shiver run down her spine as well as knowing again if she could, she would most definitely fall in love with him.
She’d be content falling in love with him but she just wasn’t sure that would ever be in the cards when she felt too broken to love anyone.