December 2008
After Viggo’s birth and the stress of that day. Not just Natalie’s labor but also Avery finding the present and being texted by Paisley, Christmas came way too soon it seemed.
Christmas Eve being upon her family already. Avery being the dutiful little helper to her mom in the kitchen for most of the day because Jessica had went to celebrate at Joe’s house that morning since she wouldn’t get to see him tomorrow and Zoe well she of course somehow found a way out of the cooking as well.
Which just left Avery alone with her mother in the kitchen, doing the cooking before everyone else arrived with their respective families in tow. Something Avery suspected would get bigger each year as her siblings kept having babies or getting married.
“You know I almost wished you had invited Ethan,” Diana spoke up breaking the silence they had been cooking in. “He was such a sweet boy and I’d love to have gotten to know him better.”
Avery forced a smile at that, “He had a bunch of tattoos though mom,” she reminded her. “You nearly had a heart attack over mine.”
“Maybe I could come around to it if I had a future son-in-law with them,” Diana told her, making Avery turn her head to see an almost hopeful look in her mom’s eyes. Realizing then that her mom did indeed have hopes that she’d get with Ethan.
“Yeah well Ethan isn’t going to be your future son-in-law,” Avery said as she kept her forced smile. “We’re just friends.”
“Oh but Avery that’s how every good relationship starts,” Diana told her as her smile and the hopeful look in her eyes grew.
Avery went silent at that, deciding it was best just to not argue with her because of course she knew how things truly were. She was the one living her own life.
She knew she’d never end up with Ethan. Anyway when they had talked last week he had reconnected with his ex-boyfriend. Sounded hopeful that maybe they could reignite the flame they still had according to him.
Going back to helping her mom cook, Avery fell silent. Almost glad when she heard Jessica come back. Her mom calling out for her eldest daughter to come help.
Which Avery was thankful for because maybe with three people they could get everything her mom wanted to fix done on time.
Later that night after everything had been cooked and her brothers and their respective families had arrived Avery couldn’t help but smirk to herself as Zoe and Mac got tasked with the duty of helping put things on the table.
Served them right for not helping she figured. Made her also relieved that once again she wasn’t the one who had been roped into helping. Especially when she had been the one who had helped make most of the food. Except for what little Jessica had done when she arrived back home.
Though Avery didn’t speak much during Mac and Zoe helping to get the table ready. Instead she took it upon herself to keep the kids entertained until it was time to eat.
Asking them all questions about how excited they were for tomorrow and what they wanted Santa to bring. Not surprised when Penny of course mentioned wanting clothes because at three the girl was already becoming her own little fashionista.
Something Avery probably blamed on Natalie as Natalie loved to dress her in high end things and treat her like a girly girl. Which Avery wasn’t sure she could blame Natalie since Penny for the moment was her only girl. The one she got to do fun things with.
Whereas the others were boys and Avery just figured Natalie loved having a daughter to spoil more so than boys.
Once it was time for dinner, Avery helped usher the kids into the living room before sitting at the table herself. Fixing her plate in silence. Though after she had fixed her plate she fell into a steady conversation with Mac. Both of them realizing they had snuck some of the alcohol to drink.
Both also praying they didn’t get caught drinking it because as Mac had put it, they’d be dead and buried six feet under by eight am on Christmas morning.
Something that made Avery burst out laughing only because she agreed with him.
It was no secret that while all of the kids experimented with smoking and drinking before leaving home they all did it in private. Their parents making it clear if they knew they’d make sure they faced a pretty serious punishment.
Which was almost laughable to Avery but she did like breathing so she never let her parents see her doing that stuff. Usually never even came home plastered either because she knew her limits. Knew when to quit so she wouldn’t get in trouble.
After she had finished eating though Avery left the table once a few others had. Going into the living room where she found Kate sitting on the couch with Shepherd snuggled into her lap.
“Hey,” Avery smiled softly as she sat down beside them. “How is the little man doing?” she questioned watching as Shepherd looked up at her with his big brown eyes, looking so much already like a good mix of both his parents.
“Oh just getting sleepy already,” Kate spoke as she looked down at her son with a grin. “Had a big day today, that’s for sure,” she said as she turned to look at Avery. “How is the aunt of the little man doing though?”
Avery heaved a sigh, “Better than I was a few months ago,” she shrugged before pushing some hair behind her ear. “Life is finally calming down for me it seems.”
“So you’ve gotten over Paisley being gone from your life?” Kate questioned obviously having taken what Avery said to mean she was doing better than she was after that but well she had meant since before that even but she didn’t see the use in correcting Kate.
“Yeah I have,” Avery lied because a part of her wasn’t sure she’d ever get over it.
Not when somehow Paisley always seemed to still insert herself into Avery’s life every so often.
“That’s good because I still miss her,” Kate laughed as she shook her head. “Was kind of nice having someone so different in the mix.”
Avery had to look away at that, her eyes landing on her sun tattoo, “Mom’s happy though,” she spoke as she looked back up. “I mean it’s no secret she wasn’t Pai’s biggest fan.”
Kate rolled her eyes, “Your mom is just well…she has her ways,” she muttered out. “I think she tries her best but sometimes it’s too much.”
“That’s an understatement,” Avery added on sarcastically before looking down at Shepherd again. Seeing that he had apparently dozed off during their conversation.
Kate looking down too as she let out a tiny chuckle, “I think that means it’s our cue to leave this shindig a bit earlier than planned. If only I could remember where my lovable idiot of a husband ran off too.”
Avery smirked at the way Kate described Zac, “I don’t remember where I last saw him either but I can help you track him down,” she told Kate before standing up.
Heading off in search of her brother who like herself had a penchant for hiding away at times during family functions.
When she made it to the kitchen, Avery smiled at the sight of Zac, “There you are,” she muttered before walking over to him. Taking a cookie from a nearby plate on the counter and taking a bite before speaking again. “Kate was looking for you. I think she’s almost ready to leave. The baby’s already asleep.”
“I’ll go find her soon,” Zac spoke as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m just about ready to leave too.”
Avery paused at that as she made it to him, “Did you have any of these cookies?” she asked him with a tiny hopeful smile. “They’re really good, especially the chocolate chip. You should take some with you.”
When Zac shook his head, Avery eyed him more closely, “Did you eat anything at all?”
“I’m really not in the mood for a Christmas interrogation Ave,” Zac told her as he sat his glass of eggnog down with a loud thud.
Almost making her jump and Avery felt slightly bad for upsetting him but she was only worried. Had his best interest at heart because she felt like she was watching the brother she loved dearly slip away.
“Yeah well I was kinda hoping Christmas would be the one you could put aside this…” Avery started but stopped as she tried to find words. None coming to her. “Whatever this is…and just try to be happy. Or at least fake it for everyone else’s sake.”
“You think I can just turn it on and off like that?” Zac questioned as he raised an eyebrow. “Like there’s just some switch I can flick?” he finished with a hiccupy gasp making Avery afraid that he was going to cry.
Again making her feel slightly bad because she hadn’t wanted to make him cry on Christmas Eve.
Avery looked down, away from him as she shook her head, “I’m sorry, I know it’s not like that,” she mumbled before looking back up. “But take it from someone who does a lot of pretending. Sometimes it’s necessary. It isn’t fun but it’s necessary,” she sighed because god had she learned that lesson hard. “I know my situation is different, but we all have our things, you know? Our secrets, our pain, our whatever. The stuff that drags us down. What it is may be different, but the way we deal with it is pretty similar. Especially you and me,” she trailed off again before giving Zac a bittersweet smile.
“Or I guess that would be the way we don’t deal with it,” she finished hearing Zac stifle a laugh at that.
“I think don’t deal with it, is definitely an accurate characterization,” Zac agreed which made Avery smile a more genuine smile.
“Yeah, well, maybe we need to start. Or at least put on a better face,” Avery shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe if you fake it enough, it gets easier. If it does, let me know, okay?”
Zac nodded his head, “Will do. If you do the same for me, Avie baby,” he told her making her wince slightly at the nickname.
“You’re never going to stop calling me that, are you?”
“I hadn’t planned on it,” Zac spoke with a smile that Avery felt was one of the more honest ones he had given her tonight.
Opening her mouth to speak Avery stopped though when she heard footsteps. Not wanting to say anymore because this conversation well it was one just for them.
Not them and a third person. A third person who happened to be Kate, finally tracking down her husband in the only place that really made sense for Zac to be in.
“Thought I’d find you here,” Kate spoke as she looked between Zac and Avery. “I didn’t interrupt anything important, did?”
Avery shook her head, watching as somehow Zac seemed to shake his head right at the same time as her. Proving just how similar they could be.
Kate though stayed silent for a bit after that, seeming not to care that either of them could be lying. Instead she only walked a bit closer to Zac. “Had enough of the holiday spirit?” she asked him before tapping his glass. “Or should I say, holiday spirits?”
“No, I think I learned my lesson on that front,” Zac answered leaving Avery feeling confused.
Like she had missed something but she knew better than to ask. Some things were best left not known in this family.
“But yeah, I think I’m ready to head home,” Zac continued as he sighed softly. “I foresee a long night of assembling Christmas presents from Santa in my future.”
Kate let out a soft chuckle, “You know I’ll help.”
“I know,” Zac told her. “You always do,” he smiled again, leaving Avery with the feeling that he meant that in more ways than one.
When Zac turned back to her, Avery watched as he kept his smile, “I’ll see you soon, okay? Keep in touch.”
“I will,” Avery spoke before turning to Kate. “And you take care of my big brother. He’s…he’s something else, you know.”
“I know,” Kate replied in a solemn tone which surprised Avery. Though Avery again didn’t ask anything, just watched as Kate linked her arms with Zac. “And I think it’s far past time for me to get him and his son home. Bye, Avery.”
Before Kate or Zac could leave though, Avery leaned in to hug Zac quickly. Her eyes growing wide when she felt just how tiny he was.
A fact that made her almost afraid she’d break the man she always saw as invincible in half.
Pulling away from him, she caught his eye and saw that he must have felt the same. That she would have broken him but neither of them spoke of it.
Instead she watched him and Kate leave, only moving after they left to throw the eggnog out of the glass he had left sitting on the counter.
A task that after she had finished it, she slipped out of the kitchen, catching the tail end of an awkward conversation between Zac and Isaac.
Getting the sense that there were so many things going on in this family. Things that well made her feel that she was glad she wasn’t privy to everything.