January 2009
After eating the take out food that Paisley had ordered Avery slipped outside on the balcony of the hotel room cell phone in hand as she texted Cordelia. Who somehow must have heard about her getting kicked out because when she had turned on her phone during dinner she had found a text waiting on her from her girlfriend.
Asking how she was because she had heard through the grapevine that Avery had been kicked out. Wanting to know where her girlfriend was staying at.
How did you find out? Like who in the grapevine told you?
After sending that text Avery sighed softly as she pulled the hoodie she had stolen from Paisley closer to her body. Tonight being colder than the past few nights had been.
Which maybe Avery deserved to be cold, especially after so carelessly cheating on the girl she was now texting. Someone who hadn’t deserved it. Had done no wrong.
Avery being convinced that Cordelia deserved better but also still wanting to try to be better. Even after being with Paisley and even after knowing she hadn’t been cheated on. Feeling like she owed Cordelia for their last missed chance.
Owed it to her to try more so maybe after tonight when she left Paisley she’d tell the other girl that they needed to cut ties for good. That they just needed to say goodbye so that she could work on being a good girlfriend.
No matter how much they truly loved each other or the fact that they had the proof of that love and commitment tattooed on them.
Hearing her phone alert her that she had a new text Avery looked down, seeing Cordelia’s response.
Nat told me which was a bit weird. I mean why did I have to hear it from Taylor’s wife who I don’t even talk to much but she was just telling me that you’d be staying with them starting tomorrow night. Which makes me wonder where you are tonight. Please tell me it’s not your car.
It’s not my car. I’m staying with a friend. I’m sorry you had to hear it from Nat first though. I would have told you but things have just been hectic. Crazy hectic.
I’m sure it has been. If I was there I’d let you stay at my house.
I know :(. I wish you were here Cordy.
I wish I was too. Maybe call me tomorrow. I just wanna hear your voice and know you are okay and not depressed.
I’m fine for now. Well taken care of so don’t worry. But talk to you later babe.
Later. Love you so so much Avie.
Frowning at the last text that Cordelia sent her, Avery turned her phone off, laying it beside her on the concrete ground of the balcony. Feeling even more guilty at Cordelia’s loving her as well as the fact that Cordelia didn’t even question what friend that she was with.
Hating that Cordelia seemed to just blindly trust Avery.
“The girlfriend?” Paisley’s voice sounded and Avery looked up from where she was sitting. Not even having heard Paisley come outside.
Avery nodded her head as she watched Paisley sit down beside her.
“Natalie told her about everything,” she confessed as she ran a hand through her hair. “She was just worried about me.”
Paisley laughed softly with a roll of her eyes, “Does your family besides you anyway not know how to keep secrets?” she asked with a bitter edge to her voice. “I mean I’m guessing someone found out about us too and ratted to your mom. Otherwise she wouldn’t have confronted me the day after the Fourth of July when I was leaving your bedroom.”
“Zoe saw us having sex and told her,” Avery revealed as she made a face. “Still isn’t sorry she told mom either.”
“Of course she isn’t,” Paisley sneered out. “Always knew your baby sister reminded me of someone else in your family. Though I couldn’t place who until now. She’s your mom made over.”
Avery shrugged her shoulders, “I hope there is still hope for Zoe. She’s ten and she can still learn and grow,” she defended even if she herself had told Zoe the same thing yesterday.
After saying that Avery reached for Paisley’s hand, sensing that Paisley was a bit pissed from that revelation. A part of her just wanting to calm her down some.
The action of her taking Paisley’s hand causing them to lock eyes and Avery squeezed her hand as she gave her a smile. “Tell me what you’re thinking Pai.”
Paisley took a deep breath as she squeezed Avery’s hand back, “I’m thinking of how beautiful you look in the moonlight.”
Sitting in a chair outside on the balcony of some random apartment in downtown Tulsa, Avery sighed softly not even sure why she had agreed to this. Coming to a party with a bunch of older people.
Lesbian girls at that mostly but then again maybe Avery did know why she had agreed. She had been gone to Greece for weeks and she had missed her friends. Hoping that by agreeing to come to this party she’d get to spend time with them.
Something that wasn’t happening because both Juniper and Cordelia had found older girls to hang out with. Lesbian girls to entertain them while Avery was just well she felt like mashed potatoes really…or an odd third wheel.
Not sure where she fit in since she wasn’t a lesbian and her friends were ignoring her for cute, older lesbian girls so she had found a way to sneak outside. Almost glad it was dark so no one could see her sitting alone like some pathetic loner.
Though a part of her was tempted to get her cell phone out and call her mom to come and save her. Knowing her mom would jump to do it. Even if it meant her mom finding out that her two best friends were lesbians. A fact she had been keeping to herself.
Afraid if her mom knew it wouldn’t go well and Avery would lose Juniper who was like her sister as well as Cordelia who sometimes felt way more than that. Which confused Avery because how could someone be more than a sister?
Before she could reach for her phone to make the call to her mom though Avery froze when she heard the sliding glass door open. Turning her head slowly to see well she thought it was a boy coming outside. Looked like a boy anyway especially with the haircut and baggy clothes.
A fad most teenage boys wore to look cool and tough and to fit in. A fad Avery thought stupid but well maybe on this boy it didn’t look too bad.
Then again maybe Avery was just desperate to see a male that she’d find the only male in a house party full of lesbians cute.
“Didn’t think anyone else had bailed on the party yet,” the unnamed boy spoke but Avery was surprised at how soft his voice was.
Making her wonder just how old he was…maybe his voice just hadn’t changed yet.
“Friends kind of ditched me,” Avery confessed with a tiny smile as she watched the boy sit down in a chair that was right next to hers.
Their shoulders barely touching which had butterflies building in her stomach.
“Your friends ditch you too?” Avery asked before the boy could say anything to her words.
The boy only laughed though it sounded bittersweet, “Girlfriend ditched me,” he sighed with a shake of his head. “Didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t giving her all my attention.”
Avery rolled her eyes at that, “But she doesn’t have to worry,” she told the boy with a tiny smile. “I mean everyone in there is a lesbian,” she spoke not missing it when the boy just gave her a weird look.
But she didn’t question it. Was afraid too almost.
“In fact I think she’s an idiot for ditching you. I mean…” Avery stopped as a blush took over her cheeks not wanting to admit that she found this guy attractive. She didn’t even know his name. “Never mind,” she muttered with a shake of her head.
“No go on,” the boy prompted as he rested his hand on Avery’s arm and Avery felt goosebumps form on her skin.
Her blush growing even more.
“Maybe I find you attractive which is silly as I don’t even know your name.”
The boy only smirked at that, “My name’s P,” he told her which made Avery curious because she couldn’t help but wonder what P stood for.
Was it short for Peter or Preston? Maybe even Paul.
But before she could even question it P spoke again.
“And it’s not that silly,” he whispered as he leaned a bit closer to her. Making the goosebumps from minutes before come back to Avery’s arms. “No more silly than me thinking how beautiful you look in the moonlight,” he told her before leaning in and kissing Avery.
The kiss taking Avery by surprise since it was her first and she hadn’t pictured it happening like this. But then again she wasn’t going to complain because it also was semi romantic especially with what P had just said to her.
Words she’d probably remember all her life.
“Oh,” Avery muttered as she blinked several times before squeezing Paisley’s hand back. A realization hitting her finally.
Something she probably should have realized a long time ago. Paisley had been P from the party and her first kiss had been with a girl.
“Oh?” Paisley questioned as she leaned a bit closer to Avery. Close enough that Avery swore she saw stars in Paisley’s blue-green eyes.
Avery gave Paisley a smirk before speaking, “Just wondering how long you knew that I was the girl you kissed ages ago at some party?” she asked watching as Paisley returned her smirk.
The stars in Paisley’s eyes shining just a bit brighter, “Realized it the moment you walked into the record store where I worked,” she admitted with a sheepish look. “But since you thought I was a boy I wasn’t really sure if you were straight or not. But the moment you walked into that store after I had, had another fight with Ellery it almost…it felt like fate.”
“Yet it took you a whole year to even talk to me,” Avery teased her as she leaned in to peck Paisley’s lips softly. “A fucking year,” she repeated keeping her face close to Paisley’s.
“I never said I wasn’t chicken shit even if I was bold enough to kiss you on that balcony,” Paisley told her as she squeezed Avery’s hand again. “It was only hearing your sexuality confusion that even gave me the balls to proposition you and I don’t regret that actually.”
“I don’t regret it either,” Avery told her before leaning in to kiss her again and this time it was longer than a peck.
Avery not being stupid. She knew they’d stay out here and kiss until they decided to make their way inside and she knew once they were inside they’d be sexually intimate again. Knew they’d do more than just Paisley fingering her.
She’d once again cheat on Cordelia and she didn’t really want to stop it either right now. Which made her such a shitty girlfriend.
Maybe she would have just been better off being Cordelia’s friend but she couldn’t change things now.