August 2010
“So you mean to tell me you just left Harper like it was nothing?” Ethan questioned as he raised an eyebrow and looked at Avery rather judgmentally after she had finished giving him all the details.
“Because it was nothing,” Avery answered plainly as she felt her cheeks turn pink.
She had known he wouldn’t like that detail of her one night stand but she had hoped that maybe he wouldn’t judge her so harshly. He did know that she still had feelings for Paisley.
Those feelings were why he had dropped his plans on seducing her himself. Did he really think she should let someone else in?
“I’m not sure you should have that attitude,” Ethan spoke as his green eyes locked with her brown ones. “What if you miss out on something good?” he asked sounding genuine in his curiosity. “Do you really want to do that?”
Shaking her head Avery looked away from his gaze. “No, but you know how I feel about Paisley,” she reminded him. “It’s why we’d never work out. Because I’d never love you when I love her.”
“That may be true but Paisley’s engaged to another woman Avery,” Ethan said like that explained everything. “And she wants you out of her life for the time being,” he added on his words making Avery blush.
The blush that was coating her cheeks not being from embarrassment though. It was guilt because she hadn’t told Ethan about any of the texting they had done in the last few days. Didn’t really want too because she feared she’d be judged.
His response to what she had done with Harper almost confirming she had a right to have some fears.
“I know,” Avery finally relented deciding to keep the lie up. It was better than telling him and having him judge her yet again. “I know that but would you really want me to hurt someone you consider your friend if I can’t love her like I should?”
Ethan seemed to fall silent at that and Avery knew deep down she had him there. He didn’t want her to do that to Harper.
“No,” Ethan confirmed as he let his gaze go back to her. “But I’m still saying you should try. Find someone who can make you forget Paisley. At least until maybe she comes to her senses or who knows until maybe you move on from her yourself.”
Avery nodded her head because again it was better to go along with this. “Okay,” she told him as she forced a smile. “I’ll try if only to make you happy,” she added on teasingly.
Though she knew deep down she wouldn’t try. Ethan too had to know she wouldn’t. He wasn’t dumb, he knew her better than most people did.
“Do you mean that Avery?”
Chewing on her lip at that question she felt Ethan’s gaze intensify the longer she was silent. The longer she left him waiting for an answer, that she knew she couldn’t truthfully give him.
“I’ll try,” she finally spoke hating the way her words tasted like acid in her mouth. Hated the fact that she was lying.
How could she try when she was already crossing lines with Paisley right now?
Ethan still just looked at her for what felt like the longest time before smiling, his green eyes shining as he did and Avery once again felt hatred.
She hated that he seemed to be buying her lies when he should know her better than that.
“Good,” Ethan spoke before standing from where he sat, leaving her alone in his mom’s living room. Avery waiting until he was fully gone before leaning back on the couch and sinking into it.
A hand going to run through her hair as she thought of all the ways she’d fail Ethan when she tried to do what he wanted. Thought of all the ways he was going to judge and be so disappointed in her once everything was said and done.
Later that night as she stood in the guest room packing for her and Ethan’s return back to California tomorrow, Avery startled some when her phone rang though once her heart rate had settled back down Avery paused what she was doing as she walked to her phone.
Picking it up she saw Paisley’s number and before she could even stop herself she answered the phone. Knowing she’d regret this decision in the end.
“You’re so fucking cruel,” Paisley said before Avery could even say anything to her. “Sending me a picture like that.”
Blushing Avery walked back to the bed where she sat down. “Do you want me to apologize for sending it Pai?” she asked her so casually like this was just any normal conversation.
She was acting like Paisley wasn’t giving her mixed signals because it was easier that way. Easier to con herself and make her forget.
“No,” Paisley answered her response making Avery smile softly. “I liked the picture but it was so damn cruel,” she sighed and Avery could almost picture her shaking her head. A smile playing on Paisley’s lips as well.
It was such a nice image that Avery wanted to keep it in her head for awhile.
“Good because I wouldn’t have anyway,” Avery told her being brutally honest. She knew the picture was wrong to send but she wouldn’t apologize for it. “But did you call me just to tell me how cruel the picture was to send?” she asked curiously.
She had a gut feeling Paisley had other reasons for calling. She just wanted to know what they were.
Even if it was something she wouldn’t like, like Paisley telling her to back off. Though she also knew that one seemed less likely.
There was no way Paisley was going to shut her out with the way she was acting right now.
Paisley sighed once again, “When you get back to Los Angeles can we meet up?” she asked so soft that Avery almost had to strain to hear.
Avery wondering if Sloan was somewhere nearby and she didn’t want her to hear. That or maybe even if Sloan wasn’t nearby she was afraid somehow she’d hear and know Paisley was asking someone who could never be truly just a friend to meet up.
“Any specific day?” Avery asked not saying yes or no. “Ethan and I come back tomorrow.”
“Just…whenever I can get free,” Paisley answered and Avery wasn’t dumb. She knew Paisley meant whenever Sloan wasn’t around.
Avery would have to wait until she was free from her fiancee to even know when Paisley would want to hang out.
“I’ll try to keep my schedule open,” Avery told her honestly. “But I do have school and work at a bakery not far from where Ethan and I live at. I’ll try to keep a spot open for you though,” she admitted already hating herself.
Today it seemed was just the day she was going to hate all her actions.
“O..okay,” Paisley said almost like she had expected Avery to say no to her. “I’ll be in touch with you then,” she said softly again.
Before Avery could respond though the line went dead and Avery just closed her eyes as she moved the phone from her ear. Knowing she should get back to packing but right now drowning in self hatred seemed much better.
What kind of person was she to willingly be so reckless with Paisley again? Especially when Paisley was engaged to be married.
Avery knew it was better if she just changed her phone number when she got back to Los Angeles and cut off contact with Paisley.
Not be with Paisley until they were both free but that may never come. Not if she really married Sloan.
But even with that thought Avery knew it wouldn’t happen. She’d never change her number, she’d keep her schedule and her heart open until she could have Paisley again.
It was just who Avery was.