“I can’t believe you have to leave again already. I knew it was coming, but it feels so soon,” Nikki wrapped her arms around me and looked at the suitcases on the floor.

“I know, but it’s only a couple of weeks, then I’ll be here for most of the summer.” I pulled her in close and gazed over the top of her head at our son sleeping in his crib. It was so hard to leave them. Nikki’s mom would be here for the rest of the month, and my parents were just a phone call away, so I knew that I wasn’t leaving her completely without resources. Still, I would miss seeing their faces every day. I would even miss waking up in the middle of the night with Everette because it was more bonding time for us.

“Alright,” she said.

“By the fall leg of the tour you’ll be able to travel with him.”

She nodded. “I guess Natalie can give me tips on that.”

“She can. And I know she would love to. And if you don’t want to start tour with me, maybe you can plan to come visit together.”

“That’s a good idea. It would be nice to have company the first time I travel with him, too. Ok,” she pulled back. “You had better get on the road before you are late.”

“Alright.” I loaded the suitcases in my SUV and came back for one more kiss goodbye. Then I was off to the airport for an overnight flight to Ireland.

Our instruments were already in route, so all we had to do was show up for sound check late the next day. Taylor and Zac flew in two days before, but they understood that I wanted to spend as much time with Nikki and Everette as I could. Besides, Kate flew in with Zac and Natalie and the kids came with Taylor. I couldn’t wait until my little family could start traveling with me. It wouldn’t be long, only a couple more months. In fact, I already had a stash of things Natalie recommended for traveling with kids at Taylor’s house. I would give them to Nikki as soon as she felt she was ready to travel with Everette. I wasn’t opposed to trying to persuade her to make that happen sooner rather than later, but for now she needed to get used to his personality and see how he acted at home before we took him on the road.

The Tulsa airport was growing, but still very small in comparison to hubs like Atlanta and LA. There were very few places that we could fly direct from Tulsa, and Dublin wasn’t one of them. I had a very short fight to Dallas, then on to Ireland to start the international part of our tour.

I hoped that Zac would be ok, he wasn’t his usual self, and I worried that non-stop pace of tour would make him worse. I needed Taylor to come out of his Natalie bubble to help me keep him on track. I let out a huge sigh. No need to get myself worked up over something that might never happen. I called Nikki once I got through security to see how things were going. She seemed to be in good spirits, her mom was keeping her company and they were watching a rom-com together. I was glad that her mom was there to distract her from me being gone. They didn’t always get along, but maybe they decided to put their differences aside for the time being. Something about a newborn baby made everyone happier and calmer. When you have a new little life to protect, all of the trivial things get put into perspective.

I settled in at the gate to read a book, but I couldn’t concentrate for wondering how my family would deal with me being on tour. Part of me hoped they went along just wonderfully, and I know that was the right thing to hope. Another part of me, the part that felt like being a caretaker was the only thing I was truly good at, hoped they would need me. Or at the very least miss me a little. And I knew that was wrong. What kind of father and husband would wish anything but good for those entrusted to his care?

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that it barely registered when the airline announced boarding for my flight. As I gathered my things back into my bag, I knew that those conflicting thoughts would keep me occupied throughout the long travel day.