The One With The Ladyparts
The next day at work could only be described with one word—hell. It was my fault, as Zac felt the need to constantly remind me, that we were there early, doing numerous menial tasks for Ruby. He wasn’t wrong, and that was the worst part. Zac was often insufferable, but he was at his worst when he was actually right about something. He wallowed around in his rightness, and my wrongness. He was absolutely the definition of smug, and it was the most annoying thing ever.
On this particular occasion, though, even being right didn’t make Zac all that happy, since it didn’t change the fact that he was stuck at the club hours before it opened for the night, scrubbing practically every surface in the entire building. As soon as we arrived, Ruby slapped buckets and rags into our hands and sent us off to the restrooms.
The women’s room wasn’t that bad, so naturally we’d started with it. Sheer dread had kept us out of the men’s room until we could absolutely put it off no longer. When we finally could find no other reason to delay—we’d already taken a longer break for lunch than Ruby would have preferred—we steeled ourselves and pushed open the door.
We’d no sooner set foot inside than Ruby called out, “Don’t forget to take a look at the faucet too! It’s leaking again.”
“That’s my cue,” Zac said with a smirk. He knew I was useless with a wrench, so I was stuck scrubbing the floors while he worked up a sweat fixing the same sink he would no doubt be fixing again next week.
What Zac hadn’t counted on, though, and neither had I, was that very few people actually used this men’s room aside from us dancers and the bouncers. It wasn’t clean by any means, but it was definitely a lot less used than the restroom in a club that catered to men would have been. It seemed obvious, but it had somehow passed both of us by. I didn’t dare let Zac know how much easier I had it than I’d expected. While he slaved over the dripping faucet, I dropped to my knees and made a show of scrubbing that floor like my life depended on it.
“For the record,” Zac said, grunting as he fiddled with the pipes under the sink. “I am never going to any bar with you ever again. Or getting drunk with you ever again. It never ends well.”
“Ended well plenty of times in college,” I replied.
“Funny, I don’t recall a single time we went to a gay bar in college.”
I poked my head around the side of the stall I’d been scrubbing and gave Zac a grin. “Well, you never asked me to take you to one.”
I ducked back into the stall before he could reply, or worse, throw something at me. Before either of those things happened, the door swung open and Ruby asked, “Could one of you guys come wash up the shot glasses? I forgot we’re going to be shorthanded at the bar tonight. Just whenever you’re done in here. No rush!”
“Go on, Tay,” Zac said to my complete and utter surprise. “I’m just going to make even more of a mess in here anyway trying to fix this damn thing.”
“If you insist…” I stared at him for a moment, waiting for the punchline, but there didn’t seem to be one. Maybe he was just so angry with me that he would rather have me out of his sight than lighten his own workload. I didn’t really care the reason why, though, as long as it meant I was done scrubbing bathroom floors.
The bar was completely deserted, which was no surprise given how early it still was. The bartender, Rob, wouldn’t be there for a while and he had evidently skipped out on the clean up the night before. There was a huge pile of shot glasses, and practically every other sort of glass too, for me to wash. It didn’t really bother me; I usually ended up doing all the dishes at our apartment, anyway, and Zac made a bigger mess than a few sticky glasses.
I’d made it halfway through the pile when the sound of the door opening caught my attention. The bar wasn’t open yet, so I assumed it was just another one of the dancers, and I didn’t even bother turning around from my position at the bar’s sink.
From behind me, someone cleared their throat. “Excuse me, but is Ruby here?”
“She’s probably in her office, but the club isn’t…” I began, spinning around to see who that strangely familiar voice belonged to. It was the guy from the gym. “Open yet,” I managed to finish.
“I know,” he replied. “She said she would leave the door open for me, though. I wanted to warm up a little early.”
“Warm up?” I repeated, his meaning taking its sweet time sinking in. When it did, I grinned. “You work here now?”
“Starting tonight. I’m Cade, by the way.” He stuck his hand out, then drew it back when he saw the soap bubbles still clinging to mine.
“Taylor,” I replied. “I’m sure Ruby won’t mind if you go ahead and start. Do you need any music or…?”
He shook his head. “I’ll just start with some stretches and stuff. I’ve got my routine down, I think, but I’m definitely out of practice. Need to get loosened up, you know?”
Oh, this was good. This was fantastic. I leaned across the bar and gave him a big smile. “So, you’ve stripped before?”
“It’s how I put myself through college,” he admitted. “Computer science. I worked at a software company for a while, but it shut down and I’ve been at Best Buy since last year. When your boyfriend mentioned working here, it seemed like a good way to make some extra cash.”
I knew I should have corrected him. Zac wasn’t my boyfriend, despite how often he was mistaken for exactly that. Instead, I found myself just watching Cade as he dropped his duffel bag near the stage and began to stretch.
“You don’t see a lot of couples working together at clubs like this,” Cade remarked as he stretched to one side, the muscles in his arms flexing.
I sighed. It really wasn’t good to keep up the pretense. “We’re not a couple, actually. Just roommates. Sorry for giving you the wrong idea.”
“Oh, I… you’re not?” He paused, head tilted to one side in confusion. “I just assumed.”
“Everyone does,” I said, absent-mindedly wiping down the bar with my dishcloth. “Seriously, you wouldn’t believe how often we get that. Zac hates it.”
Cade blushed a little. “So you mean, I not only hit on a straight guy, but a homophobe? Usually my gaydar is better than that.”
“He’s not a homophobe,” I replied, then frowned. “Well, he’s not much of one. He just hates how much our bromance is ruining his love life. Or so he says.”
Cade rolled his eyes at that, and I had to admit that I agreed. I would never really understand why Zac made such a big deal out of people’s stupid misconceptions. It wasn’t like any male stripper had a great love life; it was one major downside of the job. Even when you could find the time to date, it rarely worked out. Girls got way too jealous of the other women who got to touch you every night. People thinking the two of us were a couple didn’t help, but it certainly wasn’t the only reason Zac and I were both perpetually single.
As much as I was interested in watching Cade prepare for his debut at Double Entendre’s, I knew Ruby would kill me if I didn’t finish washing the glasses. I turned back to the sink to make my way through what was left of the small stack. Once they were all washed, I took the opportunity to spin back around and face the stage while I dried them. They had to be stacked behind the bar, anyway, so it was just practical. I had an excuse; I wasn’t just checking out the competition.
He wasn’t really dancing, anyway. Just as he’d said, he was going through a series of stretches that made me wonder if he hadn’t taken dance classes as a kid. I was too busy staring to ask, though.
I wouldn’t have even noticed the door opening if the sound hadn’t also been accompanied by a wolf whistle that could belong to no one but Eduardo.
“Who’s the new guy?” He asked in a lower tone as he approached the bar. “And when did you get demoted?”
“Long story,” I replied. “New guy’s Cade. Zac and I met him at the gym a few days ago. Well, Zac met him. And you might want to invite him to the bar next time, not us.”
Eduardo stared blankly at me for a moment, before bursting out into laughter. “Honestly, I didn’t even think about it. You guys really aren’t dating, though?”
I shook my head. “You’re not the first to think so, if it makes you feel better.”
“Huh.” He said, then laughed again. “And to think, I’ve spent years thinking you two were the cutest couple ever.”
With a groan, I tossed my dishcloth at him. “Don’t let Zac hear you say that!”
He tossed the cloth back at me, then headed off through the small doorway to our ready room, laughing softly to himself the whole way.
“Couldn’t help overhearing,” Cade said once Eduardo had disappeared behind the curtain. “I’m guessing he’s another dancer?”
I nodded, carefully stacking up the last of the shot glasses. “Yup. And apparently he thought Zac and I were dating, too, even after working with us for years.”
“Wow,” Cade replied. “Are you sure you aren’t?”
“That would require us to be gay, so… yeah, pretty sure we’re not.”
Cade blinked. “Well, Zac’s not, but you…”
I stared at him, and he trailed off awkwardly, his cheeks tinged red once again.
“You’re not?”
“Why does everyone think I’m gay?” I asked calmly. I definitely didn’t whine. It was simply a question.
Cade tilted his head to the side. “Are you sure you’re not? I mean, no offense, but usually my gaydar isn’t this far off.”
I huffed. “Just because I did theatre, and I like to dress well and… honestly, aren’t all of those just stereotypes? Isn’t metrosexual still a thing?”
“Sure it is,” Cade replied, smirking a little. “I’ve had sex with several of them.”
“Well, not this one,” I replied crossing my arms. “Unless you’re hiding some ladyparts under there, you’re not my type.”
He looked me up and down, his smirk never going away, then shrugged. “Maybe not. But I bet I’m closer than you’d think.”
Before I had a chance to ask him exactly what that meant—because I had a feeling there were several layers of meaning there—a loud voice boomed through the whole club.
“Ruby! I’m done with the bathroom; is there anything else you require of us lowly peasants?” Zac’s body soon followed his voice through the door, and thankfully, he lowered it slightly before he spoke again. “Tay, have you seen—”
He stopped in his tracks and stared at the stage, eyes narrowing.
“Are you actually stalking me?”
I rolled my eyes. “He works here now, Zac. He used to strip, and since you told him you made good money here, he decided to try it again. Also, his name is Cade.”
“Well, aren’t you two just BFFs now?” Zac asked, spinning around to face me.
Cade shot me a look over Zac’s shoulder that I couldn’t even begin to decipher. There was definitely a hint of amusement to it, though. Other than that, I had no clue what he was trying to communicate.
“I’m sure we’ll all have a good time working together,” he said.
Zac spun back around to face him, and though I couldn’t see the look on his face, I could imagine several possibilities. None of them were good, but to his credit, Cade smiled the entire time that Zac stared him down.
With one last glare at me, Zac turned on his heel and walked back down the hallway toward the bathrooms. From somewhere down the corridor, he yelled, “Ruby! I Quit!”
I glanced back at Cade, whose smile had faded into a worried frown.
“It’s alright,” I replied with a dismissive wave of my hand. “He threatens that at least twice a week. Not once has he ever followed through.”