The One With The Big Scary Cocks
The best thing about living with the same person for nearly a decade was that you learned each other’s routines. It was more than that, though; you became a part of those routines and your lives practically revolved around each other. The worst thing about living with the same person for so long, though, was that you learned exactly how to get under each other’s skin. If Zac and I had been a couple, things would have been different. We would probably still want to rip each other’s heads off on a fairly regular basis, but we’d have something—namely, making up—to look forward to. As two straight dudes living together, though, all we had to look forward to was eventually cooling off and not hating each other again.
Going to the gym after an argument was a good idea, and I was glad I’d thought of it. It was the perfect way to work off a little frustration without actually punching each other’s faces in. Ruby tended to frown upon that sort of thing; the last time we’d gotten into enough of a fight to leave bruises, she’d lectured each of us while applying a heavy coat of stage makeup to cover up the marks. Being an actor, I didn’t mind the makeup as much as Zac, but Ruby could lay on a guilt trip like no one else. We quickly learned that a trip to the gym killed two birds with one stone, and kept us from killing each other. It was a win-win situation.
In addition to being open twenty-four hours, which was handy in our line of business, the gym was also just down the street from our apartment. It was yet another bonus that they’d given us a discounted shared membership rate. I was pretty sure that meant the guy who signed us up thought we were dating, but we decided not to fight it if it saved a few bucks. Given the neighborhood we lived in, that was probably more likely than two straight dudes sharing an apartment; it was also no surprise that the gym was usually filled with guys, guys and more guys. A few of them worked at Double Entendre’s, too, but most of them were strangers to us.
As soon as we were inside the gym, we went our separate ways. I decided to do a few laps in the pool to warm up. It was a good way to blow off steam. Some days I would save it for cooling off, but right then I just wanted to relax. Zac had been unnecessarily mean to me over the groceries—the stupidest possible thing to argue about—so I really, really needed to calm down.
“I’m going to hit the punching bags,” Zac said as we parted ways, each headed to a separate part of the gym.
“That’s how you’re going to start?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Better that than your face,” he replied.
I decided not to even dignify that with a response.
Without Zac by my side, judging my every move and decision, I instantly felt better. Once I’d stripped down to my swim trunks, I felt like a completely new person. Swimming was the one thing resembling a sport that I hadn’t totally failed at as a kid, and it still gave me comfort.
My parents had encouraged me to try every possible extra-curricular activity; they were former hippies, so they drew no line between “boy” activities and “girl” activities. I liked soccer well enough, but I was the smallest kid on the team, so that didn’t work out for me. Swimming, being less of a team sport, was a better choice. Better still was theatre. I certainly never had a problem being myself, but getting up on stage and being someone else… there was nothing else like it. From the very first children’s theatre performance of The Wizard of Oz, I knew the stage was the place for me.
Still, if I couldn’t be on stage, a few laps around this gym’s small pool were almost as good to make me feel like myself again.
I swam just until my arms began to burn from the exertion. I knew I still needed to do some lifting, so I didn’t want to wear myself out in the pool. Stripping required staying in good shape, and that meant more weight lifting than I’d ever done in my life. The dancing itself was a pretty good workout, but it took more than that to be, frankly, the most popular attraction at the club.
Figuring I could wait until I was finished with the entire workout to shower, I quickly dried off, put my clothes back on and made my way into the weight room. A quick glance around didn’t reveal Zac, which was fine by me. Let him go on pretending the punching bag was my face; I didn’t care. While he, presumably, did that, I found a leg press that wasn’t in use and started my workout.
I hadn’t been at it for very long when Zac finally walked in, his thin white t-shirt already soaked through with sweat. I didn’t know what I’d done to upset him so much, other than just exist, but evidently he’d been in a worse mood than I thought. He shot me a glare before settling in at a shoulder press not too far away from where I was. The look on his face told me that he would have preferred not to even be in the same building. I rolled my eyes hard, hoping he saw the gesture, and returned to my workout.
At some point, I made my way over to an empty bench and started lifting a few weights. Zac was still on the same machine, locked in a conversation with a guy who seemed to have materialized out of nowhere at his side. The stranger was tall, dark and definitely in better shape than either of us, if his arms in that black wifebeater were anything to judge by. He offered Zac a bottled water, so I figured he probably worked at the gym. Or he was just friendly. Very friendly.
Zac seemed too consumed with his workout to really notice how close the guy was standing, but it got my attention. His eyes—a blue bright enough that even I could see how stunning they were—were trained on Zac’s throat as he tipped back the water bottle and took a long sip. They remained trained on Zac as the two of them talked, but I wasn’t quite close enough to make out much of the conversation.
My arms slowed down their motions as I strained to hear the conversation that I had a feeling was about to become hilarious—for me, at least.
“I really don’t think I’ve seen you around here before,” the guy said, his eyes positively sparkling as they trailed up and down Zac’s body. “Because I’m sure if I had, I would remember you.”
“Well, I’m here all the time,” Zac replied with a shrug. “If I’m not at work, I’m probably here.”
“Oh, what do you do?” He asked.
“I work at Double Entendre’s.” Zac sounded less than enthused about it, but that didn’t surprise me. I knew he was still sore about Ruby’s decision to start renting us out for parties.
The guy blinked a few times in what I could only assume was surprise before replying, “Oh. The strip club?”
“Mhm,” Zac replied. “It pays well, though.”
“I bet it does,” the guy replied, shamelessly looking Zac up and down again.
If Zac had missed it before, he was starting to catch on now. His shoulders tensed and he paused for just a second. I doubted his new friend noticed, but I saw his hesitation as the gears in his mind finally started to turn and figure out why this stranger was being so friendly.
Undeterred by Zac’s reaction, he leaned against the machine and asked, “So, do you usually just stick to the weights, or…?”
“Usually,” Zac replied, the word coming out as something of a nervous squeak.
“Well, a few of us play basketball here once or twice a week, and we could always use a few more guys,” he said. With what I could have sworn was a wink, he added, “I’d love to have you on my team.”
It took every bit of self-control I had to contain my giggles and not roll off the bench and onto the floor in a fit of laughter. A small snort of laughter still escaped my lips despite my best efforts. Zac locked eyes with me, and I could see how terrified he was. That did nothing at all to stop me from laughing. I gave him a grin and a little wave. His face turned even brighter red, but he was up like a shot, practically sprinting across the room toward me as he blurted out some excuse about being too busy. His new friend took a look at me and evidently thought better of following Zac, instead shaking his head and walking away.
“I swear to god, Taylor if you—”
“If I what?” I asked, giving him my best innocent look and batting my eyelashes.
Zac rolled his eyes. “What the hell was that, anyway? Since when do I get hit on here instead of you?”
“I dunno, I guess you were right about being in everyone’s league,” I replied, giving him a huge grin.
Zac swung his legs angrily over the bench next to mine, and to my surprise, he didn’t say anything else. I fully expected some witty remark, but instead, he just hoisted up a few weights and got to work.
“Hey,” a voice suddenly said. I glanced up and saw that it was the same guy who’d been sizing Zac up only moments before. “Sorry about… umm, I didn’t realize you were with someone.”
“What?” Zac asked, blinking. “Oh, I’m not—”
With a sigh, he cut himself off. I tried not to giggle, only grinning more when Zac shot me an angry look.
“Totally understandable,” I cut in, grinning up at the guy. “He’s just irresistible, isn’t he?”
“He’s definitely a catch,” he replied, giving Zac one last look, followed by another apologetic smile for both of us.
The guy was barely out of earshot before Zac reached over and slapped my arm.
“The fuck, Zac?” I screeched, dropping the dumbbell and rubbing my sore arm.
He scowled. “You basically just told that guy you were my boyfriend.”
“It got him off your back, didn’t it?” I replied with a shrug. “Besides, you could do worse.”
“Maybe I could. When I figure out how, I’ll let you know.”
I picked the dumbbell back up and did a few reps while I thought. After a moment, I said, “Tiffany.”
Zac blinked. “What?”
“Tiffany,” I repeated. “That ginger bitch you fucked junior year.”
“What about her?”
“She’s an example of how you could, and have, done worse than dating me.”
Zac smirked. “Yeah, but she was a freak. I mean, you’d probably let me tie you up too, but…”
“For you, baby? Anything,” I replied, then made a kissy face at him. That earned me another slap on the arm, but it was worth it just to see his disgusted face.
“Come on,” he said, finally picking up his own weights again. “Let’s just get this workout done and get the hell out of here. With the way my day’s going, I’m not sure it’s even safe for me to take a shower in this place.”
“It’s okay, sweetie. I’ll protect you from all the big scary cocks,” I replied as sincerely as I could manage.
“Ugh! Not every guy in here needs to think we’re fucking, Tay. But if you keep that up…”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”
He ignored me, his face twisted up in a scowl.
“Oh, come on, Zac…” I pleaded. “Will you forgive me if I buy you one of those nasty peanut butter protein shakes you like?”
He considered it for a moment before he finally sighed. “Yeah, okay. But one more joke about us being butt buddies, and I swear to god, I’m leaving your ass here and you can walk home.”
It was a pretty empty threat, considering how close the gym was to our apartment. Walking home was almost worth it if I got to annoy Zac more. For the moment, though, I decided to give him a break. Considering how often we seemed to be mistaken for a couple, I knew there would be more opportunities to piss him off.