The One With The Mystery Of The Missing Zac
I stared blankly at Zac for a moment, certain I had heard him wrong. He hadn’t just confessed to loving me. He’d threatened to kill me or chop my roaming hands off or… but no. He hadn’t said any of the harsh words I’d come to expect from him, words that I realized were his defense against his real feelings.
“I mean, that’s cool, not like I was expecting you to say it back or anything,” he said, looking more vulnerable than I’d ever seen him look. He hadn’t even looked so hurt when I found him at the bottom of a bottle of Jack after his high school girlfriend told him she was engaged.
Springing up from the couch, I shook my head. It took all of my self control not to launch myself at him as I hurriedly replied, “No, Zac, I… you know I feel the same. Isn’t it pretty damn obvious by now?”
He let out a strangled laugh. “I’ve spent the last twenty eight years pretty damn sure I was straight and now I’m telling you I’m in love with you, so no, Tay. Nothing is really obvious right now.”
“Well, now I’m telling you I’m in love with you,” I replied, taking a hesitant step closer to him.
Zac stared down at his feet for a moment, his hands stuffed in his pockets. His hair had fallen in his face, so I had no clue how he was reacting to what really shouldn’t have been a shocking revelation at all after the last few weeks. Finally, he lifted his head and gave me a faint smirk. “So, does this mean we’re, like, boyfriends now?”
I chuckled. “Do you… I mean, is that what you want?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I think… hell, we already have been boyfriends for years, anyway. You were right.”
“But is it what you want?” I asked, stepping in closer to him, close enough to smell beer and cigarette smoke on him. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “Ugh, you stink.”
“Thanks, honey,” he replied, smirking. “Look, you’re not… gonna make this weird, are you? I mean, weirder than it already is?”
I shrugged. “Can it get weirder?”
Zac looked thoughtful for a moment, then replied, “Probably not.”
The words were barely out of his mouth before he’d closed the distance between us and pressed his lips to mine. At least I could tell then that he wasn’t drunk. He really wanted this, I was certain. He didn’t even protest when I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, seeking permission to deepen the kiss. As we kissed, I felt his hands creeping around my waist, finally coming to rest on my hips. I could tell he was still a little unsure, but I was certain we’d turned a corner in our relationship.
The simple fact that both of us were now calling it a relationship was a pretty big milestone.
Zac pulled back from the kiss before either of us got too carried away, but he was still smiling. It was the most real smile I could remember seeing on his face in months. I couldn’t even remember the last time he’d looked so happy, and it felt incredible to know I was the cause of it. Thinking of it that way made me feel conceited; it wasn’t just me, I knew. He had to be feeling a huge weight off his shoulders now that he’d finally come to terms with how he felt.
Sensing that he wasn’t quite sure what to do next, I offered, “So, hey, you wanna watch the next movie?”
“Are you going to try to grope me again?” Zac asked.
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“I might not stop you this time.”
“Thanks for the warning,” I replied, giving him a quick peck on the lips.
The pizza had gone cold, but we settled in to watch the next movie anyway. In spite of Zac’s words, I didn’t get too close to him–only just close enough for our legs to brush together. I couldn’t contain my smile when I felt his arm creep across the back of the couch. It never quite made it to my shoulder, but it was enough for me.
When the movie ended, we sat in awkward silence as the credits rolled. I glanced at Zac to see if I could tell what he was thinking. He tapped his fingers on his knee like he was waiting impatiently for something, but I had no clue what. After a moment, he leaped up and mumbled something about cleaning up our mess. I grabbed a few of our discarded beer bottles and followed him to the kitchen, where we silently worked at washing the dishes and throwing out the trash.
Once that was done, we descended into awkward silence again, only this time we were staring at each other.
“Well,” Zac said, clearing his throat and stepping in closer to me. He placed a hand lightly on my waist and gave me a quick kiss. “Umm, goodnight, I guess.”
It felt like the end of the most awkward teenage first date ever, and it was more than a little adorable. I watched Zac walk down the hallway to his bedroom, and contemplated telling him he was welcome to join me in mine. At the last second, I decided that was probably a bad idea. I had thought that Zac needed someone to drag him forcibly out of his closet, but maybe baby steps were needed.
I just hoped I had enough patience.
The next day, it was back to work as usual, but I could tell there was really nothing usual about it. After all, Zac and I were finally on the same page… finally boyfriends. How could that not change things?
The change wasn’t all that obvious at first. Zac was still grouchy until he’d had his coffee. He still whined that I took too long in the shower. He even still pouted until I made him a panini on the sandwich press he had bought last year as a Christmas gift to himself. The only difference was that after I handed him the plate, his “thank you” was accompanied by a quick kiss to my cheek.
I was glad that things hadn’t changed much between us. Zac needed to see that, I think. He needed to realize that being together didn’t actually change anything about who we were as individuals.
After a normal, lazy day at home, the two of us headed to work. Once again, everything was as usual, no change to our routine at all. If I could pinpoint any difference, it was only that Zac didn’t seem to bitch as much about my singing in the car.
We arrived at the club with plenty of time to get ready for our set, but I led the way to the back door anyway. To my relief, Zac didn’t even complain when I held the door open for him, although I did detect a hint of an eyeroll. Once inside the club, he seemed to vanish into thin air. I wasn’t worried, though. Right then, I didn’t have any worries or cares at all.
“Somebody got laid last night,” Ruby said, nudging me as we passed in the hallway. “Wipe that shit eating grin off your face before you go on stage. I won’t have my men looking that dorky.”
“You know you love me, Rube,” I replied. “And for your information, no, I did not.”
She put a hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side. “I know you didn’t come to work high, because unlike some people, you don’t have a deathwish. So, what’s with the Cheshire grin?”
If it were possible, the smile on my face kept spreading. “That’s for me to know and you to find out… pretty soon, considering how fast gossip flies around here.”
“Can’t wait!” She clapped enthusiastically. “Now go get your pretty little ass into costume.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I gave her a mock salute, then scurried off to the ready room.
As soon as I walked into the room, the Mystery of the Missing Zac was solved. He and Cade were huddled in a corner, their chairs pulled close together as they had what looked to be a serious heart to heart conversation. Under any other circumstances, I would have been curious–even jealous–but I had a feeling I could guess exactly what they were discussing.
Trying my best not to eavesdrop, I started hunting out my first costume for the night. The two of them were still talking when I started to strip out of my street clothes to put said costume on, but as soon as my jeans hit the floor, I could feel two pairs of eyes on me.
“Really guys?” I asked, hand on my bare hip. “Like you haven’t seen aaalllll of this before?” My free hand circled around my body, highlighting the area their eyeballs couldn’t seem to look away from.
Zac blushed and averted his eyes quickly, but Cade just laughed. “You gotta love a job where you can ogle other men’s boyfriends and get paid for it.”
While I was trying to formulate a reply to that–and waiting for Zac to freak out over the “boyfriend” part of the comment–a loud, very distinct wolf whistle alerted me that Eduardo had entered the room. I shook my head and hurried to put on the costume pants.
“Aww, you don’t have to get dressed just because of me,” Eduardo said. “It’s just a shame to cover that up.”
“Just talk about me like I’m a piece of meat,” I huffed, even though I really wasn’t all that upset.
“You are a stripper,” Zac pointed out, suddenly appearing behind me and putting his hand on my shoulder.
I glanced over my shoulder and smirked at him. “Oh, and what are you?”
“In over my head, probably,” he mumbled, but he was still smiling.
I attempted to wipe the smirk off my face and lowered my voice. “You know we can take things slowly. There’s no rush, even after this long.”
“When have you ever taken anything in your life slowly, Taylor?” Zac asked.
“First time for everything.” I shrugged.
He leaned against me the tiniest bit so that I almost felt like the strong, protective one in the relationship. Right then, maybe I was. He gave a little sigh then smiled again. “If we took it any more slowly, we’d both have gray pubes by the time we got laid again.”
“Yet another reason why you should start shaving yours too,” I replied, giggling at the face he made. I knew he was recalling that one time he’d walked in on me in our shared bathroom back in college–razor in hand, one leg propped up on the bathroom sink. It wasn’t my finest moment, but Zac’s embarrassment and revulsion, which I supposed now were partially an act, were worth it.
From somewhere behind us, Eduardo heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Aren’t they just too cute?”
“The cutest,” Cade agreed. “You know I almost felt bad for trying to pick Zac up when I saw how cute they were together.”
“Almost?” Zac echoed.
Cade shrugged. “I never claimed to be perfect. Just… almost.”
“You know,” Eduardo said, drawing the words out and grinning. “I think Ruby could have a sideline in matchmaking…” He let his voice trail off, and when I glanced over at him, his eyes were looking past me and were instead focused on Cade.
“If it would make her a buck, she would consider it,” Zac replied, still leaning against me.
“But you know we’d have to be the advertisement for it,” I said.
“Then forget it,” Zac replied. “And no one else say her name. Two more times and we’ll summon the demon.”
As if to prove his point, Ruby appeared at the door. “Costumes on, boys! Let’s get this show on the road.”
After we all mumbled some sort of affirmative reply, she scurried away as quickly as she’d appeared. Zac glanced around, presumably to see what Cade and Eduardo were doing, then pressed a quick, almost non-existent kiss to my lips. It wasn’t much, but I would take it. We might have still been moving at a glacial pace, but it was better than not moving forward at all.