Not-So-Happy Birthday
For the next few days, I did my best to distance myself from Zac, and it seemed that he had chosen to do the same. I understood why I would feel the need to avoid him, but I didn’t understand his motivations for avoiding me at all. Then again, that was nothing new. When had I ever understood why he did the things he did?
It wasn’t like I didn’t have plenty of other things to occupy my mind. I had Layla, of course, who was still the number one priority in my life. And I had my other job at the record store, which admittedly wasn’t that taxing. Since I had come to terms with being in that contest, Tobias and I spent most of our free time behind the counter refreshing the website to see if my position had moved and critiquing all the competition.
When I walked into the record store a few days later, Tobias was behind the counter as usual. Next to his iPad was a conspicuous little package covered in shiny wrapping paper and half a dozen glittery bows.
“Umm, Tobias?” I asked, poking the package with my finger. “What’s this?”
“This,” he said, looking almost as sheepish as he had when he told me about the contest, “is the official first physical copy of your self-titled EP. And your birthday present.”
“My birth…” I trailed off. I had completely forgotten that today was my birthday.
Last year, I had spent my birthday wallowing over the fact that I had ruined Avery’s wedding. Tobias had brought cupcakes and a wide array of Chinese food to my apartment—I had called in sick to work even though I wasn’t any sicker than the average pregnant woman—and we had watched dvds all evening but not talked about why I was in such a bad mood. This birthday had completely crept up on me unnoticed. I had been so focused on everything with Zac that I hadn’t thought about just how close my birthday was. The days without Zac just blended together, leaving me standing stupidly in front of Tobias as he handed me a gift for the birthday I had forgotten.
“I know it’s not much,” he said, inching the package toward me. “Especially since this is the big two-five. But I thought you’d like it. We might wanna name it and get some prettier cover art printed before you go on tour, you know.”
“Why are you so convinced I’m going on tour?” I asked, finally snapping back to my senses and walking around to the other side of the counter to clock in.
Tobias shrugged. “Because you deserve it. I don’t know any of these other people’s stories, but you deserve it. Not just because of the music thing, but you deserve to get away. Since he’s moved here, you look like the life’s been sucked out of you, even worse than before he got here. You need to get away from that and live your own life for a while.”
“I don’t think being cooped up in someone else’s tour bus, again, counts as living my own life,” I shot back.
“And I think you’ll be surprised how good it will make you feel.” Tobias just grinned at me.
I decided to drop the issue for the moment, since it was obvious we weren’t getting anywhere. For once, the store was fairly busy, at least for a while. By the time my stomach started rumbling and begging for lunch, things had calmed down a bit. No one was around, so I carried my hot pocket out into the store with me, munching on it as Tobias popped my CD in the store’s stereo system and I got to hear the final mixes of my songs.
It was real. I had really made an album—an EP, sure, but still an album.
I was just shoving the last of the hot pocket into my mouth when the bell above the door rang to announce a customer. I rushed to swallow my lunch so I wouldn’t look like a huge pig, but when I looked toward the door, I saw that the customer was actually Taylor.
“Tay?” I mumbled around pepperoni and cheese.
“His brother?” Tobias mouthed, and I nodded.
“Hadn’t seen you in a few days,” he said, pulling a package out from behind his back. “So I thought I would deliver your paycheck in person. And these, since a little birdie told me it was your birthday.”
“Would that little birdie happen to be your little brother? I wasn’t aware that he even knew that much about me.”
Taylor chuckled. “No, actually it was Avery. Zac had no clue, because Zac never has any clue. About anything.”
“Truer words,” I replied. “So, what did you get me? Which, by the way, you didn’t need to get me anything.”
“Cupcakes from Magnolia,” he said, setting the box on the counter. “And maybe I didn’t have to, but since it was clear that my idiot brother hadn’t planned anything for you, I figured it was the least I could do. Plus, I wanted to see why you haven’t been around.”
Tobias took a few protective steps toward me, which I would have appreciated under other circumstances, but I wasn’t upset with Taylor. He hadn’t done anything wrong, and I wasn’t even sure how wrong Zac’s actions had been. They hadn’t been good, sure, but they also hadn’t been unusual for him. I should have been used to Zac by now.
“Did you ask your brother why I haven’t been around?” I asked.
“I did, and he claims that he doesn’t know. That you’re just being dramatic.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course he would turn on me now; hadn’t I figured out that was how he worked? He needed someone other than himself to blame for his problems. “Yeah, well, he would say that. I can assure you, I’m not.”
“I wasn’t really inclined to believe him, anyway, since I had to fight through a cloud of vodka fumes to talk to him in the first place,” Taylor replied.
I sighed. I gave Tobias a quick look that I hoped he would understand as a plea for privacy. He gave me a nod, and I assumed that he understood. Turning back to Tay, I asked, “Do you mind stepping into the back for a sec? I know nobody else is here, but…”
Taylor glanced at Tobias, who stuck his hand out and said, “Tobias Henry. Colby’s partner in crime.”
Taylor raised an eyebrow at that, but I just dismissed the statement with a wave of my hand and a roll of my eyes, hoping Taylor wouldn’t notice that it was actually my voice playing over the store’s PA system.
“Come on,” I said, motioning toward the back room. “Come around the counter. It’s alright.”
He followed me into the back, and I waited until the door was shut behind us to speak again.
“Do you think Zac… and I know maybe it’s not my place to say anything, but… do you think he has a problem?”
“He has a lot of problems,” Taylor replied with a slight chuckle. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”
“No, I mean,” I paused, sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I mean, like… a drinking problem?”
“We all drink a lot,” Taylor replied. “It’s not a sin. Well, I guess it is. That’s beside the point.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “It just seems like, you know, whenever things don’t go his way, whenever he’s upset or pissed off or whatever… it’s what he turns to. Every time. If I see the pattern, I don’t know how I can be the only one. Maybe because he runs to me when he does it, too.”
Taylor seemed to consider my words for a moment, running a hand across his stubbly chin and furrowing his brow. “I don’t know, Colby. You know, you spend a lot of time with someone, you get used to their flaws and bad habits. Especially when it’s family. You make excuses for it to the point that you don’t even know if it’s wrong anymore. So I don’t know. Have you talked to him about it?”
“I tried to,” I said. “I don’t think I really succeeded. I mean, I know enough to know that he has to be the one to decide he has a problem before anything can change. So what would it even matter if I told him? He’s already upset with me, clearly. He would just take offense if I so much as implied he drank too much.”
“You might be right,” Taylor agreed. With a sigh, he added, “I don’t know what to tell you, or what to tell him. Let whatever he’s angry about blow over and maybe you can talk about it civilly, huh?”
“Yeah, we’ll see,” I mumbled. From where Taylor stood, that probably seemed reasonable, but I knew it wouldn’t be that simple with Zac. Nothing ever was.
Taylor gave me what I was sure was supposed to be a reassuring pat on the arm. “Well, anyway, happy birthday. If you want me to talk to him…”
“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “I don’t think that would fix anything.”
“Alright, if you say so,” Taylor said, taking a few steps toward the door. “But don’t stay away just because he’s being an ass, okay? See you later.”
I mumbled later as he retreated, not bothering to tell him that if it weren’t for Zac, I wouldn’t have much reason to be there in the first place. I don’t think he understood just how much of an ass Zac was. Just like Avery, it was all too easy for him to take his brother’s side, and I didn’t blame him for that. If I had siblings, I would probably be the same.
I stayed in the back until I was reasonably certain Taylor was gone. I could only imagine how awkward any conversation that might have occurred between him and Tobias would be, and I really didn’t want to be a part of that. After a few minutes, I shuffled back into the store, only to see Tobias opening the cupcake box.
“Hey,” I said mock sternly. “You don’t get to eat one of my birthday cupcakes before me.”
He gave me a sheepish smile, closing the box and sliding it toward me. I opened it carefully and surveyed the contents—a half a dozen in a variety of flavors—before plucking out a peanut butter and jelly and taking a bite. It was glorious. I hadn’t indulged in one of their cupcakes since Avery’s twenty-second birthday, when she had been too busy with classes to go back to Tulsa and celebrate with family. It was every bit as good as I remembered; there was a reason, besides Sex and the City, that Magnolia Bakery was a New York City staple.
“So,” Tobias said, in between bites of what looked like Devils Food. “What was that all about?”
I shrugged it off. “Same drama, different day. Trying to convince me to come back to the studio, even though Zac is the one throwing a tantrum and acting like I offended him.”
“And did you?” Tobias asked accusingly.
“Probably,” I replied. “But only because I dared to call him out for his shit. So if I hurt his feelings, I’d say he earned it.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Tobias said. “Anyway, he’ll be out of your hair soon enough, huh? I mean, hopefully. If you win this thing, that’ll buy you some time away from him.”
My mouth suddenly felt very dry, and I didn’t think I could blame the cupcake for that. I nodded and mumbled yeah, but I wasn’t as excited about that prospect as Tobias made it seem like I should be.
Away from Zac… it was where I should want to be, wasn’t it? And at times, like right then, it definitely was where I wanted to be. But then I thought back to how Zac had been just a few days before that, and I wished he could be that guy all the time. If he was, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but by his side. But it just wasn’t that simple.