Aunts and Uncles
It was a fairly peaceful night, all things considered. There was only one late night feeding, and when Layla decided to cry for no particular reason, Zac rocked her and sang to her until she drifted off again. In fact, he was the first one out of bed every time she stirred, even though I woke up every time as well. At some point, I gave in to exhaustion and the next time I woke up, her crib was empty and I could hear Zac talking in the other room.
At first, I thought he was talking to her, but his voice kept rising in volume in a way that I didn’t really think was appropriate. As I crept into the room, I saw that he was actually talking on his cell phone.
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he grumbled. “I just think, you know, it might be nice for you to meet her. That’s all.”
I padded to the refrigerator, trying not to listen to his conversation… or at least not seem like I was listening to it.
“Well, can she just not come?” He asked. “I don’t know, Avery can take her out to lunch or something. She can go shopping. I don’t care, Tay. If she’s going to be weird about it, then she doesn’t have to be there…. yeah, I know. Trust me, I’m grateful. I know.”
I closed the refrigerator door a little too loudly and it caught Zac’s attention. He spun around and gave me a weak smile. I gave him a little wave that I was sure came off as sarcastic, but I was really just embarrassed to be caught eavesdropping in my own apartment.
“Yeah,” he spoke into the phone. “Yeah, okay. Noon? Okay. I really appreciate it, Tay. I’ll call you back and let you know for sure.”
He stuffed his phone back into his pocket with a heavy sigh, then gave me another smile that seemed even more forced than the first. I tried to return it. “Not to be nosy, but what was that all about?”
“Don’t hate me,” he said. “But I was just thinking… well, I talked to Tay about it, and he really does want to meet Layla.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, it sounded like it.”
“He did, it’s just… you know, Nat. She and Kate are best friends, so I’m already kind of overstaying my welcome just by crashing at their place. Honestly, they’re probably moving to New York just to get rid of me.”
“Seems a little excessive,” I replied.
Zac grinned. “I can be clingy.”
“Hadn’t noticed,” I mumbled. “So, what? He wants to meet her?”
He nodded. “Yeah, umm… if it’s okay with you, I mean. We could meet him for lunch. I don’t think Nat’s going to come, but… Tay will. So that’s good, right?”
I found myself nodding, even though it didn’t sound good to me at all. Before I said something stupid or threw up all over Zac, I rushed out of the room and into my bathroom. I shut and locked the door behind me and collapsed onto the toilet.
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t see his family again. Seeing Avery and Zac was bad enough, but I couldn’t imagine trying to talk to anyone else in his family. I had almost considered Taylor a friend at one time, but I always suspected he was judging me. He was the first person to guess, somehow, what was happening between Zac and I, and it had always made me feel so exposed and dirty every time he made some vague reference to it. I couldn’t face him at all now.
“Colbs?” Zac asked from outside the bathroom. “Are you okay?”
“Fucking peachy,” I replied. “I gotta shower if we’re going out for this lunch date, don’t I?”
“I don’t hear water running,” he said.
“Just fuck off!” I snapped. “God, does everyone in my life always have to tell me what to do? Like I’m not capable of making my own decisions?”
There was an audible sigh, then a thump that I suspected was Zac’s head hitting the door. “I didn’t say that, Colbs. I didn’t even imply that. He’s just, you know, wondering why I spent the night and I tried to explain to him, just… just how much I love this little girl already. If Tay could see her, he would get it. And she is his niece. I didn’t really think about how you would feel about it.”
“Well, you should have.”
“I should have,” he agreed. “And I’m sorry. If you don’t want to go, then we won’t go.”
I sighed. “I’ll go. But only because you’re being reasonable about it now.”
“Thank you,” Zac said. “You want me to get Layla cleaned up while you shower?”
“Nah, she’s going to be crying for some milk any minute now. You can go first.”
Still a little hesitant, I stood up and unlocked the bathroom door. Zac stood there with Layla resting easily in his arms; it melted my cold little heart every time I saw him holding her like that was exactly where she was meant to be. I supposed it was. He gave me a little smile and kissed my forehead. “Thank you so much, Colby.”
“It’s for her,” I replied with a shrug.
And it was. I had already realized that everything about my life had to be. Zac saw that, too, I thought. Even though he was clearly still suffering, he seemed to have come alive in the hours he’d been with me… with Layla. If seeing her was what he needed to pull himself out of the funk Avery said he’d been in, then that was good.
Between the feeding, two showers and getting Layla cleaned up and as presentable as a gassy two week old baby could be, it took us quite a while to leave the apartment. I put on a summery dress I’d bought for the trip to Italy; it wasn’t really made for a post-baby body, but it was loose and flowy enough that I felt comfortable in it. With Layla strapped to my chest and Zac carrying the diaper bag, there was no more reason to waste time. I knew, instinctively, I’d drug my feet because I was still nervous about seeing Taylor again, but there was no point putting it off. It had to happen eventually.
The restaurant Taylor had chosen for us was a little grill in Tribeca. It wasn’t exactly upscale, but I still felt awkward and weird walking into it with Zac and our baby. I was terrified of fans or paparazzi spotting us, but Zac had assured me during the entire cab ride there that it just wasn’t going to happen; so far, the news that they were in New York hadn’t gotten out. I hoped he was right. In any case, by the time we arrived, Taylor had already found a secluded little booth in a corner and ordered his own food.
He jumped up when we approached and practically grabbed Layla’s carrier from my arms. With a grin, he said, “Okay, she’s way too cute to be related to Zac.”
“You haven’t heard some of the noises that come out of her,” I replied, smirking.
“Thanks,” Zac huffed, throwing himself into the booth.
His mock offense passed in seconds and he motioned for me to sit next to him and put Layla on the table. I knew I would have to move her once our food arrived, but for the moment, I didn’t mind putting her on display for her uncle. Like Zac, he seemed to have bonded with her instantly. I knew everything couldn’t be perfect, but moments like that, with Layla cooing at the faces Taylor made, were deceptive in their perfection.
A few moments later, the waitress came along and took our orders. Taylor slid Layla into the booth next to him; I figured if we were lucky, any fans who saw us then would just assume she was one of his forty seven offspring.
“You guys realize this is kind of crazy,” Taylor said once the waitress was gone.
“What do you mean?” Zac asked.
“I mean, you’re still married, and here you guys are… I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but it’s just crazy. Acting like you guys are a little family.”
Zac’s brow furrowed. “Well, aren’t we? I mean, that’s my daughter, Tay. I can’t pretend she isn’t.”
“I know, I know,” Taylor replied. “I’m not telling you to. I couldn’t. But you guys are just… I mean, anyone who saw you would think you guys were together. You look like a little newlywed couple with your baby. It’s kind of disgustingly cute, actually.”
I looked at Zac. Did we look like a couple? I supposed we must have, with him doting on Layla, carrying the diaper bag, holding doors open for me… It was part of that strange gentlemanly side he had, and I took it for granted. I didn’t think it really meant anything about how he felt about me, though.
Taylor forced a smile. “Whatever, let’s just enjoy lunch, okay? It might be a crazy situation, but I wanna get to know this little girl.”
After a little small talk about what her first few days and weeks of life had been like, our food arrived. Taylor talked around bites of his French dip, telling me what he could remember about his babies early days. Zac was even more animated, and I tried not to be jealous. It was silly. I knew he was married. I knew he had three kids. I knew he loved those kids more than anything, but it was evident that he loved Layla, too. There was nothing to be jealous of.
Was there?
In between bites of my hummus and pita, I attempted to ignore that jealousy and answer all of Taylor’s questions. He had never struck me as a particularly attentive parent, but I was beginning to think that was an unfair assumption. Then again, maybe he was just a really good uncle. Since I was an only child, I was glad that Layla was at least getting to know two of her many aunts and uncles.
“And Daddy’s been good to her?” Taylor asked, eying Zac with mock suspicion.
I nodded. “He’s been… great. Burping her, getting spit up on, helping me bath her, changing diapers…”
Zac just shrugged and mumbled, “Least I can do.”
“Well, once we move here, I hope I can see her some more,” Taylor said. “She needs an uncle to spoil her. Isn’t that right, Layla?”
“If she develops a premature Starbucks addiction, you know who to blame,” Zac said, leaning over as if he were sharing a secret with me.
Taylor rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to fire off what I was sure would be a smart ass reply of some sort, but he was cut off by Zac’s phone ringing. I recognized that ring tone. I’d heard it before.
Kate.
“Hello?” He answered nervously. “Yeah, I am but how did you… oh. Of course. Of course she told you.”
I could read between the lines of that, and I felt myself getting sick. Taylor looked as uncomfortable as I did, but he didn’t say a word.
“Well, what does it matter?” Zac asked, his voice rising a bit in volume. “Of course I’m going to see her! How can you even say that?”
I didn’t dare ask if the her in question was me or Layla. I didn’t want to know. The fact that Kate was even trying to make demands was ridiculous. They were separated and she knew Layla was his daughter. I could understand being upset, but did she really have any right to keep him from seeing her? But of course, Zac was all too willing to jump back under her thumb. I could see it all over his face as he lowered the phone from his ear and covered the speaker.
“So, your wife told mine about our plans,” Zac said, practically spitting the words out at Tay.
Taylor threw his hands up. “Not my fault. I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret. Was there a gag order she should have signed that you forgot to tell me about?”
Zac growled and rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Tay. I don’t need to argue with you right now, too. Can you let me out?”
The last part was directed at me, and I had no choice but to comply. He looked like he would climb right over me if I didn’t step aside to let him out of the booth. His phone was back at his ear as he walked away, but his steps were too quick for me to keep eavesdropping on his conversation. I could see the tension in his shoulders as he vanished out the restaurant’s doors, though, and I knew it wasn’t a pleasant conversation.
I turned back to Taylor. “He’s not coming back, is he?”
“I don’t know,” Taylor replied. “Probably not. But he’s not been all here for a while now.”