It had been nearly two weeks since the dinner party, and Taylor’s thoughts had been occupied by nothing so much as the fifth Marquess of Radnor. He thought of the marquess’s soft blue eyes, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, and how wonderful it felt to kiss him. He could only dream of how wonderful it might feel to do other things with him.
In short, Taylor had been completely useless for two weeks and was beginning to wonder why he even bothered getting out of bed and going to the office each morning.
Still, until it was proven that Isaac wasn’t returning and his title passed instead to Taylor, then Taylor must go to work as he assumed normal people did. He was sure his family would have allowed him to stay home, even before the business with Isaac, but he didn’t dream of it. Staying occupied with a career kept him out of trouble, even if it made him a bit unique amongst his class. God knew he needed all the help he could get to stay out of trouble, if his fantasies about Nicholas Wellesley were anything to judge by.
He finally wandered into the dining room just as the day’s post was being handed out. His father murmured knowingly as he glanced at the addresses and passes the letters along to their intended recipients. Taylor was surprised to receive one from a name in London that he didn’t recognize. Unsolicited letters asking for his attendance at this event or that, or his help with this legal matter or that, were not especially uncommon, but those tended to arrive at his office, not at the manor.
There was nothing particularly interesting to this letter; it was the usual request of his presence at an event along with an underlying hint that there might be an interesting legal matter for him to take a look at while he was there. Taylor doubted it was interesting at all; they rarely were.
What did interest him, though, was the second letter tucked discretely in the envelope and written on a different piece of stationary altogether—a piece that looked far, far more expensive. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but—
To the Honorable Taylor Hanson:
I hope you will not think I have tampered with Royal Mail to ensure that this letter reached you. I assure you I have far more above board means of doing so. Nevertheless, I thought it best that this letter be received by you privately lest we encounter prying eyes and curious minds.
The matter for which the addressee of this letter writes to you is of little consequence, but as he mentions, there is a great to-do the same week at which your presence is greatly requested by himself and of course myself as well. Indeed I am sure it would be requested by all in attendance were they to know you the way I do, although I must also be grateful that they do not.
Please write back to Mr. Evans at once, as I’m sure he will be anxiously awaiting word from you, as am I. If you accept his invitation, I will take that also as an acceptance of mine. I am sure we will all have a wonderful and productive time. We will surely make a London man of you yet.
Yours,
Nicholas
Taylor carefully folded the letter, taking care to rearrange his face as well as he tucked Nicholas’s missive back into the folds of the far less interesting note. In truth, there had been nothing particularly salacious in Nicholas’s own letter, but the pure fact that he had signed it with only his name, while addressing Taylor by his proper title was enough. It wasn’t a mistake of etiquette; a marquess, even a brand new one, would have known better than that. No, Nicholas was making a specific point of putting Taylor above him.
It made Taylor want even more to be underneath him.
He forced out a fake cough, covering his face in hopes of also hiding the blush he was sure must be creeping across it. He had it terribly bad, he realized, if his own thoughts were embarrassing him. Jessica raised an eyebrow at him, but no one else seemed to notice anything amiss. She would notice, though. They had always been close, and had grown moreso in the absence of both Isaac and Zac. She might not know exactly what he was thinking right then, but she could form her own opinions about the letter, and Taylor suspected she wouldn’t be far from the truth.
“Right,” Taylor said, clearing his throat. “I think I best be off. I’ve an invitation for an event next week, and I’ll need to clear out some things at the office first.”
“An invitation?” Lady Hanson asked.
Taylor nodded. “A charity thing in London, which is really just a ploy to have me look over some legal papers of some sort. But the party sounds interesting enough.”
“Will Lady Natalie be there? You should bring her along if you’re allowed a plus one.”
Just barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Taylor replied, “I’m sure it would all bore her to death. Perhaps I’ll have time to call on her while I’m away, though.”
“I’m sure she’ll love that.”
Taylor nodded, then glanced toward Jessica. “Shall I walk you down to the hospital then?”
“Yes, thank you,” she replied.
Taylor stood and waited for Jessica to push back her chair and hold out her arm to him. He knew there was no reason she would turn him down; they had taken to walking together nearly every day. Still, it gave him more of an excuse to leave and cut the conversation with his mother short. The more they talked, the closer she would get to the truth of his plans in London, he was sure. The last thing he needed was for his parents to be questioning his budding friendship with the marquess.
“London, is it?” Jessica asked once they were out of the lord and lady’s earshot. “You don’t know many people there, do you?”
“I’ll have you know I have friends everywhere,” Taylor replied, matching Jessica’s teasing tone.
“Anyone Lady Natalie would know, then?”
Taylor stopped in his tracks. “You’re a smart cookie, aren’t you?”
“Just observant.” Jessica grinned. “He was handsome, but much more your type than mine.”
“And I’ll trust you to keep that opinion to yourself,” Taylor replied.
Jessica nodded, her expression turning sober. “Of course. But I do expect to hear any good news from the trip.”
“Of course,” Taylor replied. “It will certainly make a better topic for conversation that what you do with your days.”
Jessica just chuckled in response, as the two continued to walk down the path toward the hospital and Taylor’s office. He was infinitely lucky, he realized, that his sister didn’t judge him. Between her and Natalie, he could almost convince himself that he was safe. He could almost let down his guard, and live his life as he wished.
Almost.
A few short days later, the guests had left and Beasley Hall returned to business as usual, as they best could. They were British, after all. If there was only one thing at all they could do, it was carry on even when the world was falling down around them. Jessica imagined that even God himself would have trouble ridding the world of the British empire at the end of all things.
As for Jessica herself, she went back to the hospital and carried on with her own work. Time spent at the manor only drove home the fact that things there were very, very wrong. She might have been able to carry on, but she wasn’t much of an actress. Zac being home, turning everything on its head, only further drove home the fact that Isaac was still missing. Jessica didn’t dare voice her opinion but she feared that with Taylor at the helm, their family was doomed.
But none of that mattered when she was at work. All that matter then was making sure the soldiers under her care received the best care she could possibly give them. There was one, though, who worried her more than the rest. He still hadn’t woken from his comatose state, even though his body appeared to be healing well, if slowly. Whatever injuries he had were deep inside, unable to be seen by the naked eye. When other duties didn’t take her away, Jessica found herself lingering by his bed, even though there was nothing she could do.
When she had long stretches of free time, Jessica simply sat by his bedside and read to him. She had secreted away a copy of My Antonia, and read it to the soldier three times over. Jessica knew nothing of pioneers and prairies, but reciting the words aloud seemed to give life to them so that she could lose herself in this mystical world of the American west. She hardly even noticed the strange looks other nurses and doctors gave her.
Whether or not her patient heard a word of it, she didn’t know. There was simply no way to tell, but she had to believe. She had to convince herself that somehow, reading to him made a difference. If she considered the possibility that it didn’t, that was there was nothing at all that she could do, then she might as well give up entirely and go home.
Day after day, she read the book to him, over and over, until she was sure that she had it memorized and could have performed a pantomime of it, playing every single part herself. Still, he didn’t stir, although in moments of fatigue, she thought she saw a glimmer of movement out of the corner of her eye. But when she looked closely, the nameless soldier was as still as ever.
She was all set to begin her fourth reread of the book, but when she opened her mouth to read the first words, she found that she just couldn’t do it. It was pointless and hopeless. He was never going to wake. She sighed and sat the book down on his bedside table.
“I must be losing my mind,” she mumbled. “Everyone else here certainly seems to think so. Reading to someone who can’t hear, or at least can’t respond, to a single word I’m saying. I might as well sit here and tell you all about the boring minutia of my life, for all that you’ll get out of it. How about that, then? Ah, this morning my brother Taylor had a letter asking him to come to London. Highly suspect, but I think I’m the only one who noticed. Perhaps Zac. But the rest will turn a blind eye all too happily. Zoe stepped on the dog’s tail and nearly caused a domino effect of footmen and trays. It was rather impressive, really. Zac was in a rare mood, and that’s saying something for him. And don’t think I haven’t noticed the way he looks at my ladies’ maid. Between him and Taylor, we’re all doomed, I’m sure. And even moreso if anyone hears what all I’ve just said. Good thing you’re unconscious, then, isn’t it?”
“Good thing indeed,” a hoarse, unfamiliar voice croaked out.
Jessica nearly jumped out of her chair. His eyelashes fluttered so that his eyes hardly even seemed to be open, but there was a faint smile on his cracked lips. He was awake. And he had presumably heard every word she had just said.
“Oh, god,” Jessica groaned.
“Not entirely the reception I was hoping for,” the soldier replied.
Jessica pulled herself to her feet and straightened her uniform. She tried in vain to rearrange her face into something of a neutral expression. “I should—I mean, I must go find the doctor. He’ll need to check you over now that you’re awake.”
The soldier reached for Jessica’s hand. “Wait. Before you go, can you tell me your name? I’ve listened to you for days, your voice was… it’s all I’ve known. At least give me a name I can put with your voice and your face.”
“Jessica,” she said softly.
He smiled. “Teddy. You can call me Teddy.”
Jessica returned his smile, then scurried away to find the attending doctor. In only seconds, the soldier who she now knew as Teddy was surrounded by doctors and nurses, and she felt herself suffocating. She rushed outside, practically gulping in the fresh air that smelled nothing at all like hospital. It was refreshing, physically, but it did nothing for Jessica’s frame of mind.
What had she done? How much of her ramblings had Teddy heard? She was sure she had made other, nearly unconscious comments about her family before, not thinking that anything was truly getting through. She had obviously been very, very wrong.
She stayed outside for how long she couldn’t say, but she wasn’t really hiding. Eventually, someone would come looking for her. Knowing that, Jessica took a deep breath, steeled herself and walked back into the hospital. There were other soldiers who needed her attention, and she tried not to even glance Teddy’s way as she tended to her other charges. Even though she didn’t glance his way once, she could feel his eyes on her, following her every step around the room.
Jessica knew she had to do something. She wasn’t entirely sure what but that much she knew. Once the furor sounding the soldier had died down, she felt safe in approaching his bed again. Although he still appeared weak, he was propped up against the pillow and had a faint smile on his lips, the smile of one who knows he has survived something terrible.
Jessica stepped up to the side of his bed and tried not to meet his eyes, which were, as she expected trained on her. Taking a deep breath, she said, “Teddy.”
“That is my name,” he agreed, his smile growing. “Do you need something, angel?”
“Angel?”
The corner of his lips twitched. “Isn’t that what you are? My guardian angel?”
“I’m simply a nurse,” she replied.
“Oh, I hardly think so,” he said. “Have you left my side at all? I think I’ll hear your voice in my head for the rest of time.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied, although she wasn’t sure why she felt the need to apologize for that.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean it like that at all. Only that for days and days, you were it. You were my entire world. I didn’t know anything but your sweet voice, and I think a part of me was perfectly content with that, happy to stay in that fictitious little world where there was nothing but you. But I had to put a face and a name with the voice.”
“Don’t say you woke only for me,” Jessica replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “You can’t pin that on me. That much responsibility… I’m not made for that.”
“Aren’t you?” Teddy asked. “You’re a nurse. Saving lives is what you do, I presume. And it was mine you concerned yourself so much with, wasn’t it?”
“It was,” Jessica conceded, glancing down so that he could not see her face.
“I won’t pretend to know what you were thinking,” he said. “But I feel confident in saying that whatever it was, it went beyond the normal duties of a nurse. If I’m overstepping, please tell me and I swear I won’t say another word.”
Her eyes still focused on the floor, Jessica said, “You’re not.”
“I didn’t think so,” Teddy replied. “Now, won’t you sit down and tell me more? About yourself. I want to get to know my guardian angel.”
Jessica shook her head. “I think I’ve already said more than enough.”
“You don’t trust me,” Teddy remarked. “I understand that. After all, you don’t really know me at all. Not in the way that I feel I know you now. Won’t you take a chance and get to know me? What can it hurt?”
“it can hurt any number of things,” Jessica replied.
Teddy let out a hoarse laugh. “Yes, yes I suppose it can. But that’s the risk you’ll have to take, isn’t it?”
Jessica looked up at him. Although there was a hint of amusement on his face, she also saw sincerity. Judging by his accent, he wasn’t from the area at all. He might truly have no idea who she was; although he didn’t speak indelicately to her, he didn’t display the sort of deference that the lower class soldiers, aware of her breeding, seemed to give her. She was effectively anonymous, it seemed. If that were the case, then perhaps it would hurt nothing at all to talk to him, although she would be careful not to implicate her family in any way. Still… what could it hurt just to talk?
She pulled her chair closer to his bed, sat down and took a deep breath. Where to begin?