Taylor was not particularly athletically inclined, although he could shoot as well as any other earl’s son. He just tended not to hit anything, and considered it enough of a success that he did not cause any injury to himself or others during a shooting party. Thus he was relieved to be paired with Natalie for the first day of shooting. She knew him well enough to forgive his lack of skill, and it gave them a chance to be alone.
He supposed some might have found it odd how close they were considering—well, simply considering. But she truly was his closest friend in the world, and had never been anything but understanding of the fact that their relationship would never been anything more than close friendship.
Taylor was not unaware of how lucky he was.
As the two of the tromped through the woods, they were quite silent. Once they were sure they were alone, Taylor turned to Natalie and said, “I saw you talking to Zac last night. I am sorry you were stuck with him.”
“Oh, no,” Natalie replied, shaking her head. “It’s quite alright. Although I do fear I said too much.”
“He can have that effect on people,” Taylor remarked. “What was the subject at hand?”
“Kathryn.”
Taylor raised an eyebrow. “She hardly seems like his type.”
“Don’t you think? She’s female. Isn’t that enough for him?”
“Female, yes, but equipped with at least as much stubbornness as him. On the other hand, I suppose I do see the appeal.”
“Yes, well, I am not sure I believe her that she is entirely uninterested in him,” Natalie remarked.
“Natalie,” Taylor said, pausing and grabbing her arm. “If you know something—something to do with Isaac—and you’re not telling me—”
“I know you’re certainly not threatening me,” she replied, then glanced down. “But I do know something. And I fear I did tell Zac. Although it may be nothing, and I do hope it is nothing.”
“What is it?” Taylor implored.
“Kate was—she had feared Isaac found another woman. In America. Now he’s chosen to go there rather than come home, and she’s certain of it. It may mean nothing. But he had spoken to her multiple times of this heiress or that whom he met during his trip to the states. She thought nothing of it at first, but with this latest development…”
Taylor nodded. It certainly didn’t look good, he had to admit. Isaac had always been rather romantic, even though he had been promised to Lady Kathryn practically since birth. This was too much, though, even for him. Taylor could hardly believe it.
“I do hope it is nothing. And more than that, I hope I have not done something terrible by telling Zachary.”
“Oh,” Taylor replied, glancing at Natalie again. He forced a weak smile. “I’m sure he won’t do anything. He is—well, you know how he is. But he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Isaac or the family. He’s impulsive, but not an idiot.”
“I hope you are correct.”
“I hope I am as well,” Taylor admitted.
“Shall we get on with it then? We ought to at least pretend to be hunting.”
Taylor chuckled. “I ought to let you have a go. You’d do better than me.”
“I might do,” Natalie teased, giggling.
The two lapsed into silence again as Taylor made a few pathetic attempts, all of them missing the mark by quite a bit. He truly didn’t know why he had bothered. Of course, his absence from the shooting party would have caused even more of a stir than his obvious affection for Nicholas. He hoped the two of them had a chance to be alone later, but he certainly wasn’t counting on it. There would be an even larger dinner party that night, supplied at least partially by whatever was shot that day. Everyone would have to be in top form, and Taylor didn’t think that would leave much time to spend with his—well, he wasn’t sure what to call him. Lover sounded to tawdry. Whatever they were to each other, they would be little more than host and guest that night.
Several hours later, with nothing to show for their efforts, Taylor, Natalie and the valet they’d been assigned to carry their belongings, headed back toward the castle. They let the valet continue on ahead of them, affording them a little more privacy to continue talking before they were back in everyone’s company again.
“What will we all do now?” Natalie asked softly.
Taylor didn’t have to ask what she meant, but he didn’t have an answer for her. “Carry on and pretend this is all normal, I suppose.”
“You know, depending on what becomes of Isaac and Kathryn, there may be more pressure on us to set a date.”
“I suppose so,” Taylor replied. “You’ll forgive me if I say that I don’t want to rush into it. Shouldn’t we wait to see how the cards fall?”
“Should we?” Natalie asked, then shook her head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t demand anything of you. Only I worry we’ll cause even more talk if we do nothing.”
Taylor sighed. “You may be right. Perhaps—if this is not too soon—we could have something arranged for Christmas?”
“Only if you’re sure it’s what you want,” Natalie replied, sounding a bit sheepish. “I know—I can’t say this without something conceited—but I know you’ll never find another woman. It’s been somewhat of a relief to know that. But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I thought I’d forced you into anything.”
“You wouldn’t be forcing me at all,” Taylor said, pausing to grasp both of her hands. “I do love you, Natalie. And you know that no matter what, I’ll never stand in the way of you finding something that makes you happy. Once we take this step, I hope, we’ll be free of so many prying eyes. We’ll be able to make our own happiness, together and otherwise.”
‘I hope you’re right,” Natalie replied, smiling up at him.
Taylor leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Thank you so much, Natalie.”
“For what?”
“For being so understanding,” he said. “I’m not stupid enough to think that just any girl would be happy with this sort of arrangement. Nor am I rich enough to believe you’re only humoring me to get at my money. Especially now that it seems I will not, in fact, be heir.”
“I never cared whether you were heir or not,” she said. “You know that. You know I only care for you. I adore our friendship, and I know that friendship is a lot more than many couples have, even ones who have been married for decades. Why shouldn’t I want to marry you?”
“I can think of a few reasons,” Taylor remarked. “But thank you, again, for not seeing them. Thank you for accepting me—in every way.”
“You’re welcome,” Natalie replied, smiling up at him.
He gave her hands a squeeze, then turned them loose and lead her back toward the castle grounds, where he knew a picnic luncheon awaited them. It might not have been the right time to announce their plans, but as they approached the party, Taylor decided he hardly cared. Why wait?
“Mama; Papa,” he said, as they approached his parents. “Can you gather everyone around? Natalie and I have something to say. That is, I have something to say. About the two of us.”
Natalie giggled softly, and Taylor decided it truly was a good thing he was only the second son. He wasn’t cut out for the spotlight at all. He felt his cheeks growing red as his family and hers gathered around, everyone eyeing him curiously.
“Ahem. Thanks, all. Natalie and I—well, we just wanted to announce that we’ve decided that we’ve delayed long enough. We’d like to be married this year at Christmas.”
A cheer went up from the crowd and glasses were clinked together, but Taylor couldn’t help noticing that not everyone was celebrating. Zac sat alone, not having even bothered to join the group for Taylor’s announcement. His gaze was trained on Lady Kathryn who also looked as though she’d just eaten something terribly sour.
And Nicholas…
Taylor could hardly judge the expression on his face at all, as he spun around on his heel and walked speedily away from the group. Taylor did not know what to make of that at all. He wanted to chase after him, yet he knew that he couldn’t. He was stuck, surrounded by praise and excitement, while his heart walked away.
Zac had been paired with an impossibly boring local girl for the shooting, and at least twice he had been tempted to turn the gun on himself. At least that might have made her scream if he’d threatened it, and god knew that would have been the most excitement he’d gotten out of her all day.
That night at dinner, his white jacket had been more stifling than usual. He knew he’d had too much to drink the night before, and he supposed that was as good a thing as any to blame for his bad mood. But he knew the truth.
Lady Kathryn.
The truth was that Lady Kathryn was making it impossible for him to have a good time. He’d found a little cheap thrill with the new ladies maid, and Kate had managed to ruin even that. Zac could not rid himself of the mental image of her face as he’d turned away from his dirty deed. Nor could he stop himself from wondering just how much she had watched.
He wondered if she had any clue the spell she had him under. A part of him was sure she did, and that it amused her to see him suffer so.
Then again, she too seemed to be suffering, and Zac knew why. Still, his brother’s indiscretion was no reason to lash out at him; he wasn’t responsible for Isaac’s behavior. Zac sipped his drink bitterly as he watched her flirting with yet another handsome, able-bodied suitor. He wondered if this one even noticed how dead her eyes looked. He wondered if he even cared.
Zac supposed this was his big opportunity to prove that he wasn’t completely worthless. While a part of him wanted to rebel against that and be as worthless as humanly possible, he knew what he had to do.
With some effort, he pulled himself from his chair and walked over to where Kathryn stood talking to whats-his-name. He cleared his throat loudly and said, “Lady Kathryn. I hope you haven’t forgotten that you promised to show me your favorite painting here at Longford. I’m sorry I waited so late to take you up on that offer.”
Kate eyed him closely for a moment, then quickly adopted a smile that nearly hid her confusion. “Oh, yes, of course. And I am sorry I got so caught up in talking to—er—”
“Lockwood,” the young man said, holding his chin obnoxiously high. “Viscount.”
“Yes, course,” Kate said. “I did so enjoy hearing about your new rifle, but I fear did make plans with Captain Hanson here. You’ll excuse me.”
“Of course,” he replied, although he looked very much like he wanted to try said rifle out on Zac.
Zac gave him a wide grin, then took Kate’s arm in his and led her away. With the room so full of guests, it was easy enough to slip away unnoticed, and the two remained silent until they were well away from the party, walking down a hall that was, indeed, lined with opulent paintings, most of which appeared to be centuries old, like the castle itself.
“I would say thank you, but I am not at all sure what that was about,” Kate said.
“You mean you’d rather spend your evening with Viscount Chinless than with me?”
“I am not going to dignify that with an answer,” she said, turning up her nose at him.
Zac eyed her, and in only a matter of seconds she dissolved into laughter, her haughty demeanor fading away.
“Oh goodness, did you hear him, though?” She asked. “I don’t think even a soldier like you could care that much about a gun. I’m not sure why he was even bothering with me; he’s clearly already in love with his weapon.”
“Most men are,” Zac shot back.
“Mmm, well, you would know,” Kate replied, her laughter fading away.
“I am sorry that you saw that, you know,” Zac said softly. “I don’t know what else to say, other than to implore you again to keep my secret.”
“And I must ask you again: why should I?”
“You know I don’t have a good answer for that,” he said. “But what good would come of talking about it? It was one drunken indiscretion. The things I’ve seen, the things we did in France—this wouldn’t bear speaking about if you knew any of that.”
“Then I’m glad I don’t know any of that,” Kate said, and Zac was sure that he saw her eyes flicker down to his left leg for just a moment.
He cleared his throat. “That isn’t quite my point. All I mean is that it would do neither of us any good if you were to talk. You would hardly make yourself look good. And as for me, I think my reputation is already set. I think it would be more of a shock if I didn’t cause some sort of family scandal.”
“You could choose not to be like that, you know,” Kate replied softly.
“As could you,” Zac countered.
“And what, exactly, am I like?”
“Aloof. Unreadable. Pretentious.” Zac tilted his head to the side. “Actually, I suppose it’s all exactly what you’re meant to be. But god, is it boring.”
“I did not know I was here for your amusement,” Kate replied, just the tiniest hint of a smirk on her lips.
“Someone ought to be,” Zac said. “You’re as good as anyone else. Better, in fact. Because you are quite an enigma, and I am determined to figure you out.”
“Should I be flattered by that?” She asked. Without waiting for an answer, she added, “And what if I don’t want you to figure me out?”
“You should know that only makes me want to try harder,” Zac replied. With a soft sigh, he added, “Whether you believe me or not, this truly isn’t a game. I don’t, in fact, enjoy seeing you in pain. Whether it’s because of Viscount Arsehole or whoever.”
“Your brother, you mean,” she said softly.
“Or whoever.”
Kate glanced down, and Zac took a big risk. He reached out his hand and put it gently on her arm. She was even thinner than he imagined, but nowhere near as fragile. She didn’t even tremble at his touch.
“Kathryn,” Zac said softly. “I can’t pretend to understand what you’re going through right now, and I know you won’t tell me a thing about it that I don’t already know. But I swear to you, I am being sincere. I want to break through your façade, and not purely for my own amusement, though I admit that was how it began. Only it seems to me that you need a friend now. Someone who has seen and heard it all, and who is therefore incapable of judging you.”
“Someone like you,” she replied.
He shrugged. “I’ll step aside if you find someone better suited for the job.”
“I simply don’t understand why you care,” she said.
“Neither do I,” Zac admitted. “But what does that matter? Why do we feel anything that we feel? Whatever passed between us when we were kids, however much we tormented each other—we are part of each other’s lives. Part of each other’s stories. This is just… a new chapter. And we’re writing it now, however we like.”
“You assume I’m going to like what you like,” Kate replied, although Zac was certain he could hear her defenses lowering as she spoke.
“I assume nothing,” Zac said softly, reaching his hand up to brush across her cheek. “I’m only presenting you with an option, which I assure you benefits you far more than it does me. I only want to—well, to be your friend, honestly.”
“Honestly,” Kate echoed.
Zac nodded. Did he want more than that? In truth, yes. But Kate did not need to know that. Kate was not yet free to give him more than that, and so he would not ask. Maybe he was capable of changing after all. She did not need to know that either.
“I suppose that would be… acceptable,” Kate replied. “On my terms only.”
“Of course. Your terms.”
Kate nodded, a faint smile on her lips.
“To friendship,” Zac said, raising an invisible glass in a toast.
Kate chuckled, but mimicked the same movement. The two shared a laugh, and Zac could not remember the last time he had been so happy. The freckles on her nose were even more noticeable when she smiled, and her eyes sparkled in a way that did something to Zac, right behind his ribcage.
Before he could stop himself, he’d cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. She made a soft whimper, but did not push him away. After a second or two, she relaxed, but Zac did not push his luck any further. He kept the kiss as chaste as possible, his hands staying planted on her face even as he finally broke the kiss.
“That was not at all friendly,” she said breathlessly.
“Indeed it was not,” Zac agreed. “I offer my apologies.”
“They’re not necessary,” Kate whispered.
Zac stared at her, hardly believing he had heard her correctly. He face had gone unreadable again, and he took a step back. Kate nodded slightly, then gathered her skirts and turned away. As he watched her walk away, Zac realized he had no idea at all what had just happened.