The Wrong Time, The Wrong Place
All my crazy reactions over my ex
Maybe you played way too hard to get
So I kept it moving to another one night stand
I promise I will treat you right, treat you right, babe
‘Cause that’s all I wanna do, oh
I promise I will treat you right, treat you right, babe
So that’s what I’m gonna do
It took Carolina nearly an entire week to begin to feel normal again—for whatever normal really meant, anyway. She had done some damage to herself, she realized. She wondered how long she could keep going like that.
It didn’t help that only a few days later she had a wedding to attend. She knew the bride, Adelle, from grad school, and thought they had been close, but she hadn’t been invited to be a bridesmaid, and that stung a little. She supposed she had brought it on herself; they had been close then, but had she bothered to communicate with her at all since graduation? Of course not. Because Carolina didn’t do that. She didn’t keep in touch with people. When her situation changed, she dropped the people who had been part of the old one, like they were old clothes that no longer fit properly.
She had, at least, somewhat managed to keep in touch with Isaiah and Phoebe, who were also both attending the wedding. They had been friends with Adelle as well, and Carolina knew that Isaiah in particular had grown close to her. That was why she had to bite her tongue the entire day before the wedding as she visited with them and pretended she wasn’t bitter about not being off getting manicured or whatever with the bridesmaids, all of whom she thought she had counted amongst her friends.
That evening, she received a text from Alana asking if she wanted to join them after the rehearsal dinner for drinks. It was an awkward and contrived invitation, but she accepted. What else was she going to do that night, anyway? Isaiah and Phoebe weren’t the drinking and partying types, so they were content to be left at home while Carolina dressed herself up in the outfit Taylor had liked. She had brought it along just because she liked it and she tended to overpack; she knew it wasn’t as though he would be there to see her.
She made it to the bar before most of the wedding party, which was fine by her. It gave her the opportunity to buy herself a drink first, which soothed her nerves. It was bound to be awkward, being the only one present who wasn’t part of the wedding. Everyone would think about it, wouldn’t they? Everyone would wonder. Then again, maybe she was the only one who thought about that sort of thing.
The wedding party filtered in and Carolina couldn’t help noticing a particularly cute groomsman. He was tall, with hair that nearly reached his shoulders and a well-groomed beard. He was exactly her type. Over her drink, she asked Phoebe, “Well, hello. Who’s the hairy one?”
“Umm, I think he was in a frat with the groom? I can’t remember his name.”
“He’s not half bad to look at,” Carolina remarked.
Phoebe eyed her. “I thought you had a thing with that guy in Los Angeles.”
“It’s not official or anything.” Carolina shrugged, hoping to dismiss the topic before Alana came near. She was trustworthy enough, Carolina thought, but she didn’t need to open her big mouth to anyone else.
As if on cue, Alana walked up and gave the two of them hugs. After their hellos had been said, Phoebe asked, “Hey, do you know the tall guy’s name? Carolina was asking about him.”
“Oh, that’s William. He’s pretty cute, huh? He’s in the wedding.”
“Yeah, if I play my cards right, maybe he’ll be in mine, too,” Carolina remarked, then took a sip of her drink as the other two girls laughed.
Was she really interested in this guy who she didn’t know at all, or only vaguely attracted to him? She was sure it was the latter. Being with Taylor had awoken a part of her that she had nearly forgotten and reminded her that she wasn’t dead yet. She was still capable of being attractive, and her sex drive wasn’t dead in the water, either.
Alana and Phoebe decided they should make their way closer to the group, and Carolina could tell that they were subtly encouraging her to talk to this William guy. They made quick introductions to her and the few members of the wedding party who she didn’t know, but William might as well have looked right through her when he said hello. A sharp pang shot through her chest at that, her inflated self-esteem quickly floating back down to earth.
That was fine, Carolina thought. It was fine. Not every guy had to find her attractive. She should just be happy that Taylor did.
After saying hello, William turned back to the rest of the guys and continued telling the loud, boastful story he had been in the middle of when the girls had walked up. The more he talked, the less attractive Carolina found him. That was a happy enough ending, she supposed. She didn’t need to think about anyone else, anyway. Taylor was enough.
The next day, Carolina let herself sleep in late. Phoebe had to be up early to join the wedding party, and Carolina didn’t really want to think about or deal with that for as long as she could avoid it. Isaiah had been given a list of errands to complete for Phoebe, and that left Carolina alone for most of the day. She typically would have liked it that way, but on this particular occasion, it just meant too much time alone with her thoughts.
She had brought her laptop, though, and knew she needed to be writing something. That ought to be a good distraction, at least, she thought to herself. If she could push past the ever-present writer’s block and immerse herself in one of her fictional worlds, she could avoid thinking about what was happening in her real world.
In practice, she found herself going online and opening her Facebook.
She had forgotten that Taylor was going to a wedding that day, too, a weird coincidence and twist of fate that she was forcing herself not to read too much into. The wedding was back in Oklahoma, and she scrolled through a couple dozen photos of Oklahoma landscapes, waiting to see his face.
She had it bad. There was no denying it.
At the end of the album, she finally found what she was looking for. He looked strange, dressed up and surrounded by relatively normal looking guys—his friends from back home, Carolina supposed. There was really so little that she knew about his life in between Hanson’s fame and her rediscovery of him. She didn’t want to admit that, though, or ask questions. Instead, she settled for examining these bachelor party pictures as though they contained some sort of clues about who he really was deep down.
When the pictures stopped holding her attention and she had no more answers than she had started with, Carolina went back to her profile and typed in a new status.
Carolina Bailey is ready to go catch another bouquet.
Not knowing what else to say or do then, Carolina closed her laptop. She knew there was a little deli around the corner, so she decided to walk down there for lunch. Just as she was about to leave the apartment, her phone began to ring. It was Phoebe.
“Hello?”
“Hey, umm, I’m really sorry to bug you, and maybe I should just ask Isaiah, but do you think you could bring me some tampons?”
Carolina rolled her eyes slightly, not understanding why Isaiah couldn’t just handle this himself. He wasn’t as squeamish as most guys. Of course, she couldn’t say that. Instead, she just replied, “Yeah, just tell me where you keep them? And where I need to go once I get there.”
Phoebe rattled off directions to both, and Carolina repeated them to herself in her head. She may have grumbled a bit, especially when she realized just how heavy traffic was that time of day in San Jose. Phoebe’s directions were detailed, which was helpful, if difficult to remember.
The wedding venue was ridiculously posh, a reminder that Adelle was very, very rich and about to marry into even more wealth. Carolina wasn’t sure why they had ever been friends in the first place, as different as they were, but Adelle seemed vary more down to earth than her circumstances would have suggested.
Carolina made her way through the maze-like venue, finally locating the room labeled as being for the bride and bridal party. She knocked softly on the door, the softly muffled sound of a familiar voice from within catching her ears.
You were my ten thousand roses, and I let you go…
Yes, that was definitely his voice, albeit a decade or so younger. She would know those songs anywhere. Was everyone in her life actually a Hanson fan in disguise? A bridesmaid opened the door, and Carolina pasted on the most fake smile she could manage; she was sure they would see through it, but there was no way she could manage anything real right then.
“Hey!” Adelle cried out, her hips still swaying a little to the music even though a hairdresser was circling her with pins and sprays. “What are you doing here?”
“Saving the day,” Carolina replied, her light tone surprising even her. She held up the box of tampons to illustrate her point, and all the girls in the room laughed as Phoebe hopped up to snatch them.
“Stick around for a while,” Adelle said.
Carolina shook her head. “I think I better get back. I need to grab lunch, and a nap; we kept partying for a while last night after y’all left.”
“Yeah, I heard,” Adelle said, her tone teasing. “I want to see some of those dance moves tonight, too.”
Carolina rolled her eyes but tried not to sound upset. “We’ll see what happens.”
She lingered awkwardly for a few minutes, just to avoid being rude by leaving so suddenly. Every second that passed only made her feel worse. Then again, it was clear that she didn’t know these girls all that well; they had inside jokes and subtle forms of communication with each other that she just didn’t understand.
Had she ever been part of a group like that, one that she so effortlessly belonged to and had no doubts about? She couldn’t say that she ever had. Maybe that was why she was so quick to embrace Taylor’s fandom, although she couldn’t rightfully say she had no doubts about them. She still wasn’t at home. She still wasn’t one of the group, and it wasn’t just because of the things she and Taylor had done.
With a mumbled goodbye, Carolina made her way out of the room and scurried out of the venue as quickly as possible.
By the time she made it back to Isaiah and Phoebe’s apartment, she was starving. She snagged a bagel rather than bother going back out and waiting in line for food. It wasn’t all that satisfying, but it was good enough, she decided. Her hunger somewhat stifled, she pulled her laptop out again and logged back onto the internet. A new Facebook notification awaited her. A comment from Taylor.
Taylor Hanson single groomsmen better watch out
Was there a note of jealousy in those few words? It was hard to tell. Carolina couldn’t help but read it that way, though she knew it was pointless to try to interpret anything Taylor said or did. Still, it gave her a little jolt of confidence, a twinge of… something… to imagine that he might be jealous. That wherever he was, he would be thinking of her and wondering if she was flirting with someone else—or more.