Dec. 4, 2013. The Blake, Charlotte, NC.
Taylor
Being on the road was usually a good escape from my problems. At least, it allowed me to pretend I had escaped from them. That was more difficult, though, when part of my problem was also part of my band.
I felt like Zac’s eyes were on me constantly, full of judgment. I was becoming paranoid, I knew, but knowing that didn’t make the feeling go away. For all I knew, Natalie had enlisted him as a spy to ensure I didn’t step over the line in the sand she had drawn for me. Even though she was hundreds of miles away, she had me on a shorter leash than ever before.
With all of that pressure on me, I couldn’t sleep at all. I felt like a zombie, laying awake in bed at all hours of the night, surfing the internet aimlessly just to try to occupy my mind with something, anything, other than how my life was spirally out of control.
I nearly jumped off the bed when Skype began to ring out of nowhere. Who could be calling me this late? Of course, it was earlier in California, and sure enough, there was Scott’s name on the screen. I ran a hand through my hair and sat up in bed, trying to look a little more human, then pressed the button to accept his call.
“Hey, babe,” he said, giving me a surprisingly wide and genuine smile. “Finally got this stupid thing set up. Can you hear me okay?”
“Yeah, I can,” I replied, nodding. The last time we’d talked, he had mentioned finding an old webcam he wanted to hook up in place of the busted one on his laptop. Apparently he’d managed to do it. Returning his smile, I added, “You’re coming in loud and clear.”
“It’s good to see ya. How you holding up out there?”
I sighed softly, knowing there was no point in trying to hide the truth. “Tired, can’t sleep, everybody hates me. The usual. But better now than I can actually see you.”
“Babe…” Scott’s brow furrowed adorably at my confession. “Sorry you’re having a rough time. But not everyone hates you. It’s good to see you too, though. Miss ya.”
I forced myself to smile, but it was a pathetic excuse for one. “I know, I’m just… feeling sorry for myself or whatever. How are you doing, though? How was the studio?”
“Really good,” Scott said, grinning. “It’s gonna take awhile to get it all down, but it was a great first day. Can’t wait to have something to play for ya.”
“Well, now that you’ve joined the twenty-first century, I’m expecting a live performance.”
He rolled his eyes, but there was a grin on his lips. “Maybe later. Was kinda hoping I’d be the one to get a show, actually.”
I glanced down at my dirty, wrinkled clothes. I had showered after the concert, but the clothes I’d put on afterward really should have been in the laundry bag. In short, I was a mess and I didn’t know what Scott saw in me at all, but especially right then. I glanced back up at him and stared for a moment, hoping he’d get my point. “Yeah, some show. Sorry, it’s been a long night.”
“Still sexy to me,” he replied, chuckling. “Even with the specs. Which, by the way, I didn’t know you wore.”
“What these old things?” I wrinkled my nose, making the glasses bob up and down. I had actually forgotten that I was even wearing them until he mentioned it. “Yeah, I don’t need them all the time, really. Not yet, at least.’
“Well, I like ‘em. Kinda gives you the whole ‘sexy nerd’ thing.”
I rolled my eyes ever so slightly, hoping it wouldn’t be enough to earn me a punishment. “Yeah, really hot. Counteracts the ‘dumb blonde’ thing pretty nicely, huh?”
Scott laughed loudly. “Well, you’ve always been a walking contradiction anyway, so why not go all out with it, right?”
“Sure, why not?” I snorted. “Anyway, I’m glad you at least think it’s a good look for me.”
“I think any look is a good look for you. You know that. But yeah, maybe I’m digging the nerdy thing a little.”
“I’ll keep that in mind….” I replied, smirking a bit.
“Anyway,” Scott replied, returning my smirk, “you been bein’ good?”
“Define good,” I said, trying to hold my smirk in place. It was quickly overtaken by giggles; I really had no poker face at all. “Yeah, I have. I’ve just been keeping to myself, mostly. Just trying to get through the tour in one piece.”
“You’ll survive,” Scott replied. His voice a little softer, he asked, “Anyone notice the new jewelry?”
I shrugged; the only person who would look that closely was Zac, and he was still trying to convince me that he didn’t care. “If they did, they knew better than to say anything.”
Scott glanced down, and although his hand was just out of the frame, I had a feeling I knew what he was looking at. He glanced back up and said, “I hope you don’t mind me wearing mine. I don’t wanna pressure you or anything, I just…”
He trailed off, shrugging as though what he had said was unimportant. It wasn’t, though. It was a big deal that Scott was wearing his ring around; it was likely to garner even more questions than another necklace hidden amongst the half a dozen I already wore.
It was a big statement, and I hoped Scott knew that I wasn’t taking it lightly.
“No, I… It’s fine,” I replied. “I like seeing it on you. Can’t wait to see it in person.”
“Yeah, same here. Can’t wait to see you wearing it. The right way.”
“Soon. I hope.” I smiled weakly, knowing that it wouldn’t be so easy this time. Still, I would have to find a way to see him again, whatever it took.
“I hope so too, babe. Again, no pressure, but…” Scott trailed off and sighed, giving me an intense stare that gave me the shivers. “I really miss you. I want you here. With me.”
“Can I just come and stay with you?” I asked, pouting. It was a joke, but at the same time, it wasn’t a joke at all. If I could stay with him, permanently, if I were free to do that… then all my problems would be solved. But of course, I wasn’t free.
Scott gave me a serious look. “You need to ask?”
I laughed softly. “No, I guess I don’t.”
“You don’t know how hard it is…” Scott looked away, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know what he was thinking right then. I was glad his eyes weren’t on mine in that moment; things were getting more intense than I could handle so late at night. He turned back to face me. “Trust me, If I didn’t think it’d get you into more trouble, I’d just fly to… wherever you are now, and make damn sure everyone knows who you belong to.”
“Yeah,” I said, giving a soft snort, “I’m not so sure that would help. But I can’t say it isn’t appealing.”
“If you ever wanna say fuck it, just say the word.” There was a dark grin on his face that told me there were multiple shades of meaning to his words.
“Fuck it?” I grinned back.
“Don’t tease me, babe.”
“I’m not trying to, I swear. I just… this is good, you know, but it’s still not the same.” Not caring how stupid I looked, I reached out and caressed the image of his cheek on my laptop screen.
Scott pouted slightly. “I know, babe; I know.”
“Sorry I’m no fun tonight,” I replied, my own pout rivaling his.
“It’s alright,” Scott sighed. “You know I’m here for whatever you need.”
“I know, and seriously, thank you. I’m not sure I deserve it, but thank you.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t start that shit again. I’m the fuckup, remember?”
“And the one who got his ex-girlfriend pregnant, married her and has now spent the last decade repeatedly cheating on her isn’t a fuckup?” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, trying to catch my breath. “Sorry, I just… I’m not any better than you, Scott. I’m not. I don’t belong on any kind of pedestal.”
Scott frowned, then sat his laptop down and stood up. I opened my mouth to ask where he was going, but he vanished from the screen before I could form the words.
Had I screwed up that badly? I knew I had rambled, but I didn’t think I said anything that would make him walk away without even saying goodbye. Finally, he came back into view, settling himself back onto the couch with a guitar in his lap.
“Look, just… listen and don’t judge too harshly, okay?”
I nodded, and he began to play.
My life was a joke, and you were the punchline
So I looked you up, cuz I needed a smile
But when I tried to cut you down, you were already sinking,
So I said let’s get away for a while
We’re so much more alike than I ever thought we would be,
Like looking in a fun house mirror,
I’m a little more twisted, you’ve been stretched too thin,
But the parallels are ‘coming clearer
And I can give you want you need if you’ll give it to me,
If you trust me to lead, can I trust you to follow?
Tune out the haters that don’t understand
The world can wait until tomorrow
So we had some fun, we took each other to the limit
To see how far we wanted to go
But we found so much more than a skin-deep release,
Found what we didn’t even know that we’d been looking for
And I can give you want you need if you’ll give it to me,
If you trust me to lead, can I trust you to follow?
Tune out the haters that don’t understand
The world can wait until tomorrow
Cuz it’s not just a game that I’m playing
I’ve been burned too many times to stick my hand in the fire
But you say you’re for real, and for the first time I feel
Like I can put myself out on the wire
I’ve got my demons, and you’ve got your baggage
I know it ain’t as simple as we wish it could be
But every day I find another reason
Why it’s worth fighting for you and me
I’m just a man who’s been dealt a shitty hand
But you’re holding it anyway
You’re just a man who’s done the best that you can
And I just wanna tell you it’s okay
And I can give you want you need if you’ll give it to me,
If you trust me to lead, can I trust you to follow?
Tune out the haters that don’t understand
The world can wait until tomorrow
Yeah, the world can wait until tomorrow
He sat the guitar to the side and stared at me, obviously waiting for some sort of response. I realized, belatedly, that I had fogged up my glasses. I took them off and wiped my eyes, then gave Scott a nervous laugh. “That was… I don’t even have words, Scott. I hate you a little bit right now. But not really.”
He rubbed at his own eyes, not nearly as inconspicuous and casual as I was sure he thought he was being. Clearing his throat, he said, “Yeah, well. Same here. Your fault I’m feeling all this shit.”
“I’m not sorry,” I replied, giving him a pathetically sappy smile.
Scott gave a shaky sigh, loud enough for the emotion in it to carry even through the laptop speakers. “I love you. So fucking much.”
“Love you, too, Scott,” I replied, putting my hand up to the screen again. I didn’t even care that tears were flowing freely down my face; it was clear now that Scott wouldn’t judge me for my emotions.
Scott put his hand up to the screen as well, so that we were virtually palm-to-palm. “You’ll be home soon.”
“I will,” I replied, nodding. “As soon as I can possibly get there.”
“I should probably feel bad about being a homewrecker, but I couldn’t fucking care less. I just need you here.”
I laughed weakly. “It’s not like there’s much left to wreck. And I need me there, too. I would say more than you know, but I think you do know.”
Scott nodded. “I do, Tay. I really do. If it wouldn’t get me arrested, I’d probably take you right on stage.”
“Well, it makes for a good fantasy, at least,” I manage to say through loud giggles.
His expression turned darker. “Bent over Zac’s drums.”
I groaned, almost hating how quickly Scott could go from sentimental to completely dirty. Not that I minded, of course.
“Then again, it might be better to have you face the crowd. Show ‘em all how good you look when you’re getting fucked.” Scott reached down to adjust himself, not even attempting to disguise the motion. Apparently I wasn’t the only one affected by his words.
“You’re killing me, Scott.” I smirked in spite of myself.
“You love it.” He winked.
“I do,” I shot back, giving him a serious look to let him know I meant it in every sense of the word.
Scott chuckled, obviously not done with his train of thought. “Wouldn’t wanna subject Ike to that, though.”
“Way to ruin the moment–mentioning Ike.” I snorted, scrunching my face up in disgust.
“Sorry,” Scott replied, laughing. Lowering his voice, he continued, “Just picturing you, bent over the piano… my tongue all over you…”
I groaned and collapsed onto the bed, not caring that I was probably completely out of the frame, giving Scott a very exciting view of the hotel headboard. “Why aren’t you here right now?!”
“Just use your imagination, babe,” Scott replied, chuckling. I could hear rustling through the speakers, and when I sat back up, I saw that Scott had a tight grip on what was a very noticeable erection.
“Are we really doing this?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You got your live show,” Scott replied, a familiar, serious expression on his face as he popped the button on his jeans. “My turn.”
Scott
“Mm, this seems like a bit of a show for me, too. But if you insist…” Taylor remarked.
I set the laptop off to the side and pulled my shirt off, standing up to kick off my jeans and then laying back down. When I looked at the screen again it had been moved, giving me a good view of Taylor. He took his sweet time peeling off his shirt, smirking at me the whole way.
“Dirty little tease,” I said, chuckling and wrapping a hand around myself.
“Mm, then what does that make you?” He’d already stripped down to his boxers, and as I watched he pulled his dick out, stroking it slowly. I felt my mouth water and I licked my lips, moving my own hand in time with his.
“I’d say pretty damn lucky. You gonna be a good little cam girl for me?”
“Girl?” He echoed, cocking an eyebrow and stroking himself to his full length.
“Alright, fine,” I laughed. “You gonna be a good little cam boy for me?”
He leaned his head back, batting his eyelashes. “What do you want your camboy to do, then?”
“Hmm…” I tilted my head, thinking of what to command. An idea popped up, one thing I’d always had a bit of a weakness for, and I smirked. “Got any smokes?”
“Um… yeah,” he said, his hand slowing and his brow furrowing. “I picked up a pack the other day.”
“Why don’t you go get one?”
He raised an eyebrow at that, but leaned over and reached off the bed. His muscles stretched and flexed as he reached for the pack, and I sank my teeth into my lower lip.
“Okay, now what?” he asked, twirling a cigarette between his slender fingers.
“What do you think?” I said, snarling a bit for effect. He could be such a sassy little bitch sometimes, but honestly that was part of why I loved him. He could be such a perfect sub, but he knew when it was okay to push me just a little, too.
He grinned and grabbed his lighter from the table, flicked it to life and took a long, slow drag of the cigarette. As he tossed the lighter aside he leaned his head back against the wall, his half-closed eyes on me as he slowly exhaled.
“Yeah, that’s it,” I sighed, groaning and biting my lip. Somehow he made the simple act of smoking so sexual, and I loved it. “Shouldn’t have to stop the one to do the other though, right?”
“You’re really overestimating my ability to multitask,” he said, mumbling around the cigarette hanging from his lips. “But, only for you.” He took another drag, his other hand running down his chest before wrapping around his length again.
“I know you got this. And damn right, only for me.”
Taylor slowly found a rhythm with his hand, while also making a show of smoking his cigarette slowly. I loved the way his cheeks hollowed with every drag, the way his lips wrapped around it. I stroked myself a little faster, heat rising in my chest.
“Fuck, that’s hot, babe… sexy little twink…”
He raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t say a word. His hips lifted off the bed a little as he jerked himself faster for me.
“Got something else I’d love you to wrap that pretty little mouth ‘round.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” he asked, managing to look mostly innocent.
“Pretty sure you know,” I shot back, angling the webcam for a better view as I stroked my cock.
“Maybe I do…” he purred, leaning over to stamp out the finished cigarette.
“Still playin’ innocent? Why don’t you tell me what you think?” It wasn’t just a suggestion, and he knew it, but apparently not being face to face gave him balls to be even more of a cocktease than usual.
“Hm, let me think…” He smirked a bit as he slipped one finger into his mouth and sucking it. I moaned as I watched him swirl his tongue and drag his teeth, before pulling the finger from his mouth with an audible pop. He trailed his hand down his chest and stomach.
“Dirty fucking tease… Lucky I ain’t there, or I’d make you pay for it.” I was panting a little now, jerking myself faster. He gave a breathy laugh, trailing his hand further down and readjusting his position, giving me a full view of what I really wanted.
“Maybe that’s exactly the idea…”
“Oh fuck, babe,” I moaned. “Gonna give me a real good show tonight.”
“Mm, that’s the plan.” His head fell back and he let out a soft moan as he slipped his finger inside himself. I growled as I sped up my stroking, my other hand gripping the sheet.
“Really wishin’ I was there now…”
“Yeah… wish this was you instead…”
“Damn right. I’d bend you over so fast you’d get whiplash.”
“Yes,” he moaned loudly, his back arching as he added a second finger. “Please, Scott…”
“Yeah, you want me to fuck you good, don’t you?”
“Yes, please,” he whimpered, thrusting his fingers into himself. “Fuck me, Scott.”
“Maybe I’ll just show up at your next show. Grab you backstage.”
“Yeah? Take me right there, in the green room?” He shivered, pausing for just a moment. His skin held a light sheen of sweat, and I wanted so bad to be on top of him then, licking every inch.
“Fuck the green room. I’ll take you right off-stage. Shove you up against the wall.”
“Oh, fuck!” he gasped, adding a third finger and thrusting hard. “Please, Scott. Make me scream.”
“Yeah I’ll make you scream, make you scream my name. Make sure everyone knows who you need.”
“You, Scott,” he gasped, his moans raising in volume. “Need you.”
“Fuck, Tay… I wanna see you come for me.”
“Almost there,” he moaned, wrapping his other hand around his dick, panting heavily. “S-so close for you…”
“Same here, babe. Such a fucking good lil twink, making me so hard…”
“Fuck, Scott!” Taylor yelled, his hips lifting off the bed, and a second later I watched as he shot all over his stomach. I shivered hard, hanging right off the edge myself.
“Shit… Now be a good boy ‘n lick it up.”
His eyes were on the screen as he licked his hand greedily, moaning as he dragged his fingers through the pool on his chest until he’d lapped up every drop.
“Fuck…” A loud growl ripped from me as I came hard, coating my hand and chest. I shivered a little as I started to come down. I watched Tay as I licked my own hand clean, grinning as he trembled and whimpered.
“Shit…” He was still panting as he reached for another cigarette and lit up.
“Not bad,” I chuckled as I wiped my hand off on the bedspread and grabbed a smoke for myself.
“Not bad? That’s all you have to say?” He pouted and I laughed out loud, shaking my head.
“Oh babe… You’re the best lil camboy a guy could ask for,” I told him, winking for good measure.
“Thanks?” he said, smiling a little. “That was… I think that was actually just what I needed, though.”
“I know. That’s my job, afterall.” I grinned, and he gave a contented sigh that quickly turned into a yawn.
“And you do it so well. Seriously. I love you so, so much.”
“I love you too, Tay. My little twink,” I added, chuckling.
“I think I might actually sleep well tonight, for once.” He stretched, then curled up as he yawned again.
“That’s good, babe. You gotta take care of yourself when I can’t.”
“I know, I know,” he said, nodding and taking a lazy drag of his smoke. “I am trying, I just… It’s just been a lot lately, and knowing most of it is my fault… doesn’t really help.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, frowning. Once again I felt a slight twinge of guilt. “I know I kinda screwed up your whole life. I just hope you think I’m worth it.”
“No, Scott, no,” he replied, mirroring my scowl. “I didn’t mean that at all. I love you, and I’ve never… No one else I’ve been with before, none of the other guys, were worth the trouble, you know? Like, I could just have my cake and eat it too, but this time… All I want is you, and I’m just trying to get there. To where it’s just us.”
I looked down at my hand, twirling the red and black ring on my finger. The symbol of everything I never thought I deserved, but here he was, willing to give it all up to be with me. I looked up at him again and smiled.
“I know babe. And I know you will. Like I said before; you’ll be home soon.”
“Just not soon enough,” he sighed, a tear rolling down his cheek. I felt one on my own face, and nodded. I needed him, needed us. But he was more than worth the wait.