Dec. 9, 2013. Acacia Ave., Glendale, CA.
Scott
The last few days had been pretty hectic. I’d spent most of my time in the studio, laying down demo tracks. It felt good to be recording again, almost like the good old days, with my brothers. My brothers…
I felt like shit that Tay and Zac were fighting. They had their reasons, both of them screwing up one way or another, but still. I knew I was at least partly to blame for their falling out. Not as much as I was for losing touch with my own siblings, though.
Sure, it wasn’t totally my fault. There’s only so much you can do to come back from the shit we all got into. Running a train on a guys ass changes how you look at him; and vice versa, I guess, though I’d never been on the receiving end.
Dave. My little brother, the biggest cockslut of us all. I’d always been closest to him, a lot like Zac and Taylor were before things went to hell. Maybe that’s why he was on my mind so much now. I wondered what he was up to.
My phone rang, shaking me from my thoughts; for the briefest instant, I thought it might actually be Dave, unlikely as that was. Still, I smiled when I saw Tay’s name.
“Taylor, hey.”
“Hey Scott.”
“How’s it going, babe?”
“Pretty good actually,” he said. “Surprisingly.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, things with Zac… have umm, been a lot better. Kind of a sudden change, but it’s good, I think.”
“That’s really good. I’m glad you’re working it out.” I felt a lump in my throat even as I smiled.
“Yeah. It’s been… interesting. I wasn’t sure we were going to at first.”
“So what happened?” I asked. “Did you talk to him?”
“Well I tried to at first, but he was… kinda mean. I deserved it, though, what he said about me.”
A spark of anger flared. Even if Zac was a hundred percent right, that didn’t stop me from wanting to punch him for hurting Tay.
“What did he say.”
“Just…” Tay sighed, and my protective side wanted so bad to hold him right then. “Just some stuff about how I was treating Natalie. And that his new Domme was way better than me.”
I paused, not sure I heard the last part right.
“He’s got a new Dom?”
“Apparently.”
“Is he being safe? Where’d he meet him?” I knew Zac was new to the lifestyle, and so I couldn’t help being just a little worried.
“Her.”
“Oh.” Well then. That was something I hadn’t expected at all.
“And um… She’s a professional Domme. So I guess she does know what she’s doing better than I do.”
“Good for him,” I said, chuckling. I guessed I didn’t need to worry about the kid after all, if he had the smarts to go a pro. “Don’t worry, babe; he’ll be okay.”
“Yeah. I think he will. Physically, at least. I think he likes her, though. I mean, likes her.”
“Oh. That’s… complicated.”
“Yeah. You should see the way his face lights up when he talks about her, though. I just hope she feels the same.”
“Yeah, that could get… messy.” Once again, I was reminded of my brothers. Messy was putting it mild when it came to the tangled web of emotions there. That was a big part of why we all split off, really. Clint and Bob had always been joined at the hip, but Dave and me… it was almost scary how similar my past with him was to the mess Tay and Zac were in, wives and boyfriends aside.
“But anyway, how are you?” I asked, needing a distraction.
“I’m good,” he sighed. “I’m glad that Zac and I talked. At least I’m not gonna be totally miserable for the rest of the tour. He, um… he had some other news for me, though.”
“Just full of surprises, ain’t he?” I chuckled.
“You can say that again. He and Kate filed for divorce six months ago.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. They didn’t tell anyone. I don’t think Natalie even knew.”
“Again, wow.” From what I’d heard, Tay and Zac’s wives had been bffs since they were kids, so to keep a secret like that must’ve been a big deal.
“Yeah… So he wasn’t being that much of a hypocrite for judging me, I guess.”
“Still not right,” I told him, the protective Dom in me wanting to keep him safe.
“Well, he apologized. And I think he really meant it, too. He wasn’t just being nice because his Domme told him to.”
“That’s good. I can tell you guys are really close.”
“Yeah, we are. It’s strange how there’s so much we didn’t know about each other even though we’re so close, but yeah. And I think it’s gonna be okay.”
“That’s really good, babe.” I felt the lump in my throat again, memories of just how close Dave and I used to be.
“Yeah,” he sighed, sounding sincerely happy. “Yeah it is.”
“Miss you,” I said softly. Even though I was always the one in control, right then I really needed him there.
“I miss you too. I hope I can come see you as soon as possible after the tour.”
“You better,” I said with a dark laugh.
“I will. It’s just, you know, I’ve got some… unfinished business… to deal with first.”
“Oh?”
“Like talking to my wife?”
“Oh yeah, that,” I said sourly.
“She’s been pretty upset with me since I visited you.”
“I’d say sorry, but I’d be lying.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, laughing softly. “She doesn’t know about you, exactly. But she’s good at assuming the worst, so she knows I’ve been… unfaithful. Again.”
I let out a heavy sigh, but he spoke up before I could say anything.
“I’m not really sure how I’m gonna explain it all to her, but… I know I need to. I need to talk to her.”
“And then what?” I was almost afraid to ask, but I had to.
“And then… Then I hope we’ll be getting a divorce, too. I can only imagine what she’ll say if I suggest it, though…”
I held my breath. We’d danced around it, but hearing him flat-out say it was something else.
“You’re really gonna leave her?”
“I…” Tay started, then let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Tay.”
“What?”
“I love you.” I’d never said the words without meaning them, but I’d never meant them this much. I didn’t know how else to express the overwhelming, almost frightening surge of emotion. I just had to pray he understood.
“I love you too,” he said softly, and I had a feeling that yeah, he understood perfectly.
“So, if you get divorced, does that mean…”
“Does it mean what?”
“Does it mean I get to keep you?” I didn’t know what it was about my love for Taylor that turned me into such a cheesy sap. But he seemed to enjoy it, so maybe it wasn’t so bad.
“Yes, you do.”
“Good.”
“I mean, it’s gonna be… probably kinda messy for a while, but I’m yours, Scott. That’s not gonna change.”
“I’m yours, too, Tay,” I told him. I looked down at the ring in my finger and smiled. I’d never wanted to be anyone’s before, never wanted to belong to anyone. But that was then, and this was now, and I was happy–proud, even–to be Tay’s.
“Good,” he sighed. “I’m glad you’re willing to put up with all my shit.”
“You’re putting up with mine,” I pointed out. “So I guess I can put up with yours.”
“I guess we’ve both got a little baggage, huh?”
“I don’t mind sharing.”
“Me either. But hopefully I can… get rid of some of my baggage soon. That sounds bad,” he added after a moment. “I’m not gonna kill her, just divorce her.” He gave a nervous laugh, and I smiled.
“Hey, whatever works.”
“Yeah, yeah. Okay. She’s still gonna have to the in my life in some way, though. I mean we have five kids.”
“Right, of course. I’d never try to take that.”
“I know. I’d like for you to meet the kids though. At some point.”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Eh, I don’t know. I’m not really a kid… person.” Or a person that should be allowed anywhere near kids, I thought to myself.
“Aw, but my kids are the best,” he said, and I could hear him grinning. “Much more awesome than normal kids. Not that they’re not normal. You know what I mean.”
“Okay, I’ll take your word for it.” I chuckled, his fatherly pride sweet.
“You’ll like them, I promise. I can’t guarantee Penny won’t try to put makeup on you…”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.” I laughed, thinking back to one particularly crazy weekend in New York.
“That sounds like a story I need to hear.”
“Maybe.” I chuckled.
“Okay. Penny’s all about the makeovers though. I played a show with pink nail polish on last year thanks to her.”
“Nice,” I laughed, trying to picture it. I had to admit, with his looks, the thought of Tay in drag had crossed my mind once or twice. I wondered if he was sub enough to put up with that.
“Yeah, I totally forgot about it until some fans noticed. That was fun.”
“I’ll bet,” I said, a little distracted by thoughts of Tay all made up.
“She’s great, though. She’s a little princess. Not too happy about sharing that position with the new baby, though. I think she’d much rather be the only girl.”
“Shell get over it.”
“Maybe. She’s got a little diva in her. And Ezra’s just my mini-me. It’s kinda freaky.”
“Bet he’ll be a heartbreaker.”
“Probably,” Tay chuckled. “River and Viggo are great, too. They’re all pretty awesome. I’d… I’d really like for you to meet them.”
It was clear how happy his kids made him, and it made me love him just a little more. Maybe the idea of kids wasn’t so bad after all.
“I think I’d like that too.”
“Good. I don’t know when, but we’ll make it happen someday.”
“Good.”
I sighed. I was getting used to it, but all the heavy emotions were still exhausting, made worse by the distance. “I wanna see you soon, babe.”
“I know. It’ll be soon, I promise.”
“Oh, hey. I’m going into the studio again next week.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. Bringing in a few session guys, trying to round out these demos. Try and put something together I can actually start shopping around.”
“Wow. Scott, that’s really good. I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, well… I’m not getting my hopes up yet it anything. But it feels like…” I sighed again, and leaned my head back. “Like I’m finally doing something again. Something that means something.”
“I’m sure it’ll sound great. I can’t wait to hear it.”
“This us all your fault, just so you know. You make me want to get my shit together. To be something.”
“You are something, Scott.”
“Yeah, yeah… Something more than a washed-up teen idol.”
“Hey, that’s all a lot of people think I am. But… you’re more than that. Most people just haven’t gotten the chance to see it.”
“Haven’t really wanted to show anyone else,” I said softly.
“Well I’m glad that I’ve been lucky enough to get to see you.”
“Me too.”
“I love you Scott,” he whispered, and it felt like all the scars on my heart were finally starting to mend.
“I love you too, Taylor.”