Every Planet Has A South

It was a fake. It had to be. A good fake, but a fake nonetheless. After a year of training at U.N.I.T., Zac was fairly certain he could tell a real TARDIS from some fake prop cluttering up the streets of London.

“Oi,” he said, the word having found its way into his vocabulary even though he still had an Oklahoma twang. He rapped on the door. “Anyone in there? Filming some TV bit about the Doctor or something?”

The door flew open and a wave of bright red hair came out. After a moment, Zac was able to focus on the face attached to it, and the big, curious brown eyes in it. “Hmm? The Doctor? Oh, I’ve just copied his little police box gag to blend in a bit more. Go unnoticed. I mean, he pops up everywhere, doesn’t he? Who even notices The Doctor anymore?”

“Oh, this is rich,” Zac replied. “Amy Pond cosplay? But if I didn’t know better, I would say you’re American, too. Southern, in fact.”

“Every planet has a South,” she shot back. “Is Amy Pond that little ginger he was traveling with? People are always saying we look alike. Personally, I don’t see it at all.”

“You’re prettier,” Zac blurted out. So much for all of that military training. He was still a bumbling idiot when he met a gorgeous woman; how did he ever expect to stand up to aliens and everything?

“Thanks,” she replied, leaning against the open door and sticking out her hand to shake his. “The Professor. And you are?”

“Corporal Zac Hanson, U.N.I.T.” As he shook her hand, he peered over her shoulder and saw that her police box was, as expected, bigger on the inside.

“Well, Corporal, you might want to duck,” The Professor replied, a giant grin on her face.

“Duck?”

“Duck.”

A loud screech pierced the air, and Zac spun around, instinctively pulling the ginger timelord down with him. A massive animal, that Zac could only describe as a jetliner-sized dodo bird, was careening through the air. Whether it was that or proximity to The Professor, who by all rights shouldn’t exist—U.N.I.T. files were very clear on the fact that only one timelord remained—making his heart beat faster, he wasn’t entirely sure.