Under Your Skin
“What’s going on here, gentlemen?” A police officer asked. His deep, authoritative voice snapped Zac back to reality, although he had no answer for him. A second officer stepped between Zac and Devin, his presence enough to stop either from swinging again.
“This man is trespassing here,” a voice said. Zac followed the source of it and saw his downstairs neighbor, Susie. He didn’t know her well, but she had helped him fix a flat tire back in the winter. “I’m the one who called, when I heard stomping and yelling, and I saw him chasing the other guy out of the apartment. He doesn’t live here, and he clearly doesn’t belong.”
“Is that true?” The officer asked, turning back to Zac and Taylor.
“I just got here—but I saw the same thing she saw, and I told him he needed to leave.”
“It looks like you did more than talk,” the second officer said, eyeing Zac.
“He wouldn’t take no for an answer,” Zac replied, his voice sounding dull and dumb to his ears. He gestured toward Taylor. “Look at him. Does he look like they were just talking? He chased him down, and he probably would have done more—he gave him the black eye and the split lip Saturday night.”
“Do you have proof of that? Witnesses?”
“We were all drinking,” Taylor admitted, his voice soft but stronger than Zac had expected. “But, umm, everyone at the club saw it. I don’t know all the guys, but I can give you a few names.”
“And you didn’t report it then?” Office Two asked.
“Like I said, we were drinking,” Taylor said softly, glancing down. “I thought—I don’t know what I thought. But I have… there a report from the ER. From the—the last time.”
Zac felt himself growling before he heard it. He realized too late that everyone was staring at him. He stared back. How could these officers hear everything they had to say and do nothing? Devin wasn’t even trying to defend himself, just glaring resentfully at the officer who now had a strong hand planted on his shoulder.
After jotting down a few notes in his tiny notebook, the officer turned to Devin. “Anything to say for yourself?”
Devin just glared and made an abortive effort to struggle away from the officer who was restraining him.
“Okay, then,” Office One said. “Take him over there and get his information. Maybe he’ll talk once he’s away from these two.”
Zac watched, staring blankly. He chanced a glance at Susie and she gave him a weak smile.
“Alright,” The office said, turning back to the brothers. “Look, it’s your word against his, but he doesn’t live here, and I assume you two do?”
Zac nodded. He figured it wasn’t the time to mention that Taylor wasn’t on the lease.
“So, it looks like we’re at least talking about trespassing. It’s up to you whether or not to press charges, and I can’t say that there’s much of a case here. But it’s up to you. You can come down to the station or give us a call if you decide that you want to go that route.”
“And if I don’t?” Taylor asked. “What happens then—he can just keep coming back, keep—”
“What’s your relationship with the, uh—gentleman?”
“He’s my ex,” Taylor said weakly.
The officer gave a short nod, as though that had confirmed the suspicions his brain had already been turning over. “Well, you also have the option of a protective order. You don’t have to press charges for that, if you chose not to. Those do expire, but can be extended, depending on the circumstances. It would give you time to decide if you want to press charges or make any changes to your living situation, and so forth, so he can’t find you once it expires.”
“So, he could still come back.”
“It’s not a given that he won’t,” the officer admitted. “There are limits to the law, and as I said, the evidence here and the fact that you didn’t press charges before—it doesn’t look great. I’m not trying to discourage you, but you do need to know.”
“Thank you, officer,” Taylor replied, the words dripping with sarcasm. “Are we done here? Is there anything else you need from me?”
“Names and contact information,” he said. “We’ll make sure he leaves, but I don’t think we’ll be booking him for anything, so chances are we won’t have any reason to get back in touch. But just in case.”
Zac swallowed hard as Taylor rattled off his information for the officer. He pulled out his wallet and wordlessly handed over his license. If the officer had any particular thoughts about the fact that they shared a last name, he didn’t show them.
He was just doing his job, Zac told himself. Whatever the officer personally felt about all of this… it was impossible to tell. Still, Zac couldn’t help feeling lucky that they had somehow landed a police officer in Texas, of all places, who didn’t seem to let his prejudice—if he even had any–stand in the way.
He rattled off his phone number, then focused his attention on Taylor as the officer moved on to Susie.
“I’m going to ask a stupid question,” Zac said softly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m really, really not. But I don’t have much of a choice but to be, so I guess I’ll have to figure it out somehow.”
Zac nodded. “Order a pizza and binge watch some movies tonight? Whatever you want to watch.”
“I don’t know if I can eat,” Taylor replied. “But cuddling on the couch sounds like a good plan.”
A moment later, the office turned back to them and handed Zac a card. “If you need to get in touch, here’s my information. You can press charges at the station, or file the protective order at the courthouse. Your choice.”
“Thanks, officer,” Zac managed to reply, stuffing the card into his pocket.
There were a few more formalities, then finally, the police left, following closely behind Devin. Zac felt Taylor exhale shakily. He started to say something to him, then remembered that their neighbor was still standing there.
He turned toward Susie. “Umm, thanks for stepping in. You really didn’t need to do… anything like that.”
“I didn’t have to, but I felt like I needed to,” she replied. “It isn’t easy—I didn’t have much support when I was your age. So if I can be there for some people who didn’t have that, then I will be. That’s all.”
She walked away then, and it took Zac far too long to process her words and realize exactly what she meant. He gave Taylor a look, and Taylor nodded. With an arm wrapped tightly around his waist, he helped Taylor walk back up the stairs to their apartment.
As soon as they were inside, Taylor collapsed onto the couch. Zac started the coffee pot, then called his favorite pizza place. Once the call was placed, he sat down next to Taylor and put a hand on his thigh.
“I don’t—I don’t even know what to say,” Zac said softly. “I want to say it’s all over now, but I know it’s not.”
“No,” Taylor replied, shaking his head. “It’s just starting. It’s going to—I mean, it could get so much worse. I don’t even see a way out of it right now.”
“Well, you can get the protective order, right? You can do that. Surely that will help.”
Taylor scoffed. “Sure, if he follows it. But anything—anything we do, any legal steps we take—it could reveal who we really are to each other. Right now, Melissa is the only person here who knows the truth. But it’s not like we can lie about our legal names. I just don’t see how… how there’s anything I can do that won’t put us at risk.”
Zac felt the blood drain out of his face. “I hadn’t—I hadn’t really thought about it that way.”
“I guess I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we would make this work—if it was even possible. How we could keep the secret and be—be together, for real.”
“And is that why you—why Devin was back in your life? Because you didn’t think this could work?” Zac regretted the question as soon as he had asked it; it sounded far too much like an accusation.
“I don’t know,” Taylor replied, sighing. “I ran into him—I thought it was random, but now I wonder if he hasn’t been keeping tabs on me somehow. It’s so hard… to just let go of someone like that. I don’t know how to explain it. They get their claws into you, they get under your skin, and there’s always some part of you, deep down, that buys into the things they tell you—about your relationship, about yourself. I’m not proud of myself, Zac. I’m not proud that I let myself believe for so long that he was the best I deserved.”
“Sometimes I forget that you’re not flawless,” Zac said, then quickly added, “I mean, I see you as being so strong and so perfect, but you’re human, too. And I think you forget that, too. You have no reason to apologize or feel sorry or beat yourself up—pun not intended—for falling for someone like him.”
“But I had you here. And I let him back in anyway. Knowing that something better was waiting here for me to get my head out of my ass.”
“Well, is it out now?” Zac asked.
“Yes,” Taylor replied, a hint of faux annoyance in his voice.
“Then that’s good enough for me,” Zac replied, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on Taylor’s cheek.
The sound of the doorbell stopped him from saying anything else. Both brothers tensed, even though realistically Zac knew it must be the pizza delivery. He gave Taylor a pat on the thigh, then stood and walked to the door. He peered carefully through the peephole to confirm that it was, in fact, their pizza before he opened the door just enough to accept the box and stuff a few bills into the confused looking delivery boy’s hand.
Neither of them spoke again until Zac returned to the living room with the pizza, a couple of plates and a fistful of napkins. Zac watched in silence as Taylor took a few bites, just to be sure that Taylor was physically okay, even if he knew that emotionally okay was going to take a lot longer to achieve.
The damage Devin had done to him… it went so much deeper than Zac had ever realized. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what would possess someone to cause physical harm to someone like his brother. He hated to think it, but perhaps some people, people so gentle and kind, attracted that sort of thing; their parents’ emotional abuse would certainly back up that theory.
Zac shook his head, then forced himself to shove a few bites of pizza in his own mouth. Once he had chewed and swallowed them, ignoring how uneasily they settled in his stomach, he spoke. “So… what movie are we going to watch?”
“Are you just going to ignore our problems?” Taylor asked, his tone more curious than accusatory.
“For tonight I am,” Zac admitted, then shrugged. “There’s nothing we can do right now. Whatever you’re going to do, I don’t think you’re going to make a decision or act upon it tonight. And whatever you decide, we will deal with it then. I will deal with it.”
“If I choose not to do anything?” Taylor asked.
“Well, I won’t be happy about that, but I’ll support you. I would still strongly suggest the protection order, though. At the very least.”
Taylor nodded. “No, you’re right. It’s a good idea. It will at least give me some kind of legal—something. I don’t know. Just to put it out there, make it known that I’m not going to let him just get away with it any longer. I think that’s important.”
“That makes a lot of sense,” Zac replied. He wiped the pizza grease from his hand and placed it on Taylor’s leg again. “And for what it’s worth, I am proud of you. I wanted to be angry that you—that you went back to him. But I think I understand, in a weird way. All I want is for you to be happy… and safe.”
“With you, I am,” Taylor said softly. He smiled the first genuine smile Zac could remember seeing from him in weeks.
“Me too,” Zac replied honestly. “Me too, Tay.”