Cheesecake
The next morning, it was like nothing had happened. Deep down, Zac had known it would be that way. Yet he still found himself disappointed when Taylor went back to sleeping in the guest room and all but ignoring him. If anything, Zac, realized, they had managed to make things worse.
At least he had his job to keep him busy. Unlike sitting in endless lectures, working actually meant working. It meant being on his feet constantly, answering questions and trying to remember the exact sequences necessary to operate the cash register. It left almost no time to actually get lost in his thoughts. Nearly every second was occupied with making sure he was doing the right thing, leaving no room for anxiety and thoughts of Taylor.
When he went on break and got a text from Melissa, he realized what he had been missing from his life. Of course—she had been so busy with her final exams and he had been so busy with work, that they hadn’t spoken at all. Zac wished he had been the one with enough sense to bridge that gap, but either way he was happy to hear from the one person in his life guaranteed to brighten his mood.
Zac knew it was sad that he only had two people he felt he could really count on, and right then, he wasn’t even sure about one of them. But there were other times to worry about that. Instead, he just focused on replying to Melissa.
Zac glanced up at the clock. His break was nearly over. It hadn’t been long enough to have grabbed lunch with Melissa anyway, but it wouldn’t be long before he was off for the day.
Zac put his phone away and hurried back to his post at the checkout. Knowing that he would get to see Melissa in just a few hours had improved his mood more than he probably would have admitted to anyone. It made the time go by so fast that when he saw her walk through the door, it gave him a start. Was it really time to clock out already? A glance at the clock behind the counter told him that it was.
He gave a quick wave at Melissa, gesturing toward the back to let her know he would be back as soon as possible. Aliya gave him a look, and he murmured something that he hoped sounded like a decent goodbye.
In nearly record time, he was out of his apron and officially clocked out. He grabbed his hoodie—he didn’t like walking around in his uniform, even if it was essentially regular clothes—and made sure his phone and keys were still in the pocket before throwing it on. Feeling much more like himself, he made his way out front, and was somewhat surprised to see Aliya and Melissa happily chatting at the counter while there were no customers.
“Hey,” Zac said. “You ready to go get some lunch, Melly?”
“Melly! That’s adorable,” Aliya said. “Your girlfriend is precious, by the way. Such a sweetheart.”
“Oh, gosh—no, we’re not. Umm.” Melissa stuttered out, her eyes wide.
Zac scurried around the counter and put an arm around her shoulders. “What she means is, we’re just best friends. I keep trying to make an honest woman out of her, but apparently I’m just not her type.”
“Yeah,” Melissa replied, still blushing but rolling her eyes. “That’s the problem.”
Aliya looked between them, clearly trying to find the joke that it was obvious she was missing. After a moment, she smiled again. “Well, either way, I hope you guys have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow, Zac.”
“Later,” he replied. “Don’t work too hard while I’m gone.”
Aliya just responded with a groan and an eye roll, and Zac smiled.
Once they were out of earshot, Melissa said, “Oh, she definitely has a crush on you. You are going to break her poor little heart. You know that, right?”
“You say that now, but you didn’t see the way she stared at Taylor when he came to check on me my first day.” Zac almost stopped in his tracks at his brother’s name, which he realized was stupid–he was the one who had mentioned him. “Anyway, I was thinking—I got my paycheck the other day, so Cheesecake Factory on me?”
“You’re not going to be very good at budgeting, are you?” Melissa teased.
Zac shrugged. “Probably not. I still have some savings from the odd jobs I work during the summer, and the money from the art show. I know it won’t all last forever, but with Taylor helping with the bills, I think we’ll be okay.”
He had done it again—mentioned his brother’s name. The context this time was especially bittersweet, when it seemed they were anything but okay. Zac tried to paste on a smile for Melissa’s benefit, but he was certain she could see right through it.
Melissa deftly shifted the topic to all of the shopping she had done that day, even though Zac was sure she knew he wasn’t interested in her new clothes. Still, he played along, because what else could he do? It wasn’t until they were settled in and waiting for their food to arrive that she gave him that look that meant they were about to have a serious conversation. He knew that look. He didn’t like that look.
“Okay,” she said. “You need to tell me what the fuck is actually going on between you two. I tried to talk to him at Sephora and he refused to say anything that wasn’t about my new mascara. Which, admittedly, makes me look fucking fantastic, but that’s beside the point.”
“I’m sure you’ll look great.”
“I do,” Melissa said, fluttering her eyelashes exaggeratedly. “But don’t think you can distract me like that. What. Is. Going. On. With. You. And. Taylor.”
“I. Don’t. Know.” Zac echoed her. He ducked the balled up napkin she tossed at him, then leaned over to pick it up. “You shouldn’t litter, you know. But okay, seriously, I really don’t know. I could tell you what happened the other night, but you probably won’t believe it.”
“Then I definitely want to hear all about it.”
Zac glanced down, feeling himself blush. “Well, he wanted to like… I dunno, congratulate me or whatever after my first day at work. So we got Chinese and we were going to watch a movie. I fell asleep though, and because you know, it’s me, I curled up in his lap in my sleep.”
Melissa smiled. “That’s adorable. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, well, I made it less adorable pretty quickly. Umm—sparing you the details, unless you really want them—things got kind of hot and heavy, right there on the couch.”
“I’m not saying I do want the details, but I’m not going to stop you.”
Zac blinked. “Are you kidding? I hope you’re kidding.”
“I don’t know,” Melissa replied, shrugging. “You’re both hot. So I can only imagine that anything involving the two of you two together would be pretty hot, too.”
Zac stared at her, head tilted, trying to determine if there was a joke that he was missing. “You know you’re weird, right?”
“Mmm, no, first time I’ve ever heard that,” Melissa replied, then burst out laughing. “Of course I am. It’s part of my charm.”
“Yeah,” Zac replied. “I guess it is.”
“So that’s it then? You guys fooled around or whatever and… then what?” Melissa asked.
Zac shrugged dismissively. “That was it, really. He said he was going to bed, and he did—but for the first time in days, in my bed. Just for that night, though; he’s been back in the guestroom since then. And it wasn’t like we cuddled or anything. It wasn’t… like there wasn’t anything romantic at all about it for him.”
Melissa frowned. “Well. I mean, he probably was pretty conflicted about what happened. You guys are on a break, you’re supposed to be taking time to figure out what you really need and want, and then… you jump each other’s bones. There’s a little bit of a conflict there.”
“I know, I know,” Zac replied. “Like, I get it. I just wish—I know I’m the one who asked for the break, but it’s not really what I need. I know that now. But it’s like Taylor has decided that what I say or think doesn’t matter and the break is like permanent or something.”
“Or it’s as long as he needs it to be, even if you’re ready now.”
Zac looked down. Once again, Melisa had cut right to the core of the matter. The fact that it was blunt and painful to hear didn’t matter; it was the truth. She knew it and Zac knew it, even if he didn’t want to admit it.
“But, I also think it’s possible that what you have said isn’t enough. You need to really show him that you’re ready, and I don’t know that what you guys did the other night does show that. You need to show him that you’re all in, emotionally.”
“And how do I do that?” Zac asked, raising his voice enough to scare the waitress who was just delivering their dessert.
Melissa waited until the waitress had walked away. “I don’t know. I think you’ll know when the moment is right and when it is, you’ll know exactly what to do. Or maybe it’s going to be a slow buildup of little things that all come together to show him that you’re genuine and invested. That’s probably more likely, really. So, what you’re going to do right now is eat your fucking cheesecake. And then you’re going to go see him when he gets off work. Because I guarantee that will make his face light up the way yours did when you told me about him coming to see you—plus, he gets off in just about twenty minutes. So eat up.”
“Better idea,” Zac replied, motioning the waitress to come back. “Can I get a to-go box for this, actually? Surprising him with desert. This just happens to be his favorite too. At least, I remember him loving red velvet. It’s what he always wanted for his birthday cake.”
“See? It’s remembering those little details about him that show me that you really do love him. He’ll see it in time, too.”
“I hope you’re right,” Zac replied.
The two fell into silence as Melissa hurried to eat her cheesecake; to Zac’s surprise, she managed to down enough of it that she didn’t bother with a to-go box. She could pack away more food than Zac expected for someone of her size, and he never knew whether or to be impressed or concerned.
More concerning right then, though, was how Taylor would react to seeing him. Once he had packed up the cheesecake and paid for his meal, there was nothing left to do but to find out. Melissa bid him farewell, assuring him that he needed to and could do this alone.
Zac wasn’t so sure, but he knew he didn’t have a choice.
As he rounded the corner and neared the Sephora, he immediately saw a familiar figure outside of it. He didn’t recognize the taller, dark hair man standing far too close to him, though. From the way they stood, it was clear that Taylor knew him—very well.
Zac froze on the spot, nearly crushing the box in his hands, despite how hard they were shaking. It could have been nothing. It was probably nothing. Taylor was too kind to tell anyone to leave him alone. He probably wasn’t interested in—the guy he was now walking away with, never having seen Zac at all.
Not knowing what else to do, Zac turned and walked away in the opposite direction. Thankfully, his car wasn’t parked very far away and was nowhere near Taylor’s. He sank into the driver’s seat, breathing shakily. He didn’t cry. He thought he might, but it was as though he had nothing left to give, not even tears.
Instead, he dug a pack of plastic silverware out of his glove compartment and opened the box of cheesecake. Alone in his car, he ate the entire thing, pouring all of his emotions into it. Taylor never needed to know the damn cheesecake had existed, Zac decided.