Sell Out
All too soon, Zac found himself stuffed into his new outfit, on his way to the gallery opening with Taylor and Melissa. Taylor had offered to drive, and Zac supposed that was the first of the favors he was trying to repay. That, or he just felt guilty for being half the reason Zac had to dress up and go to this thing in the first place.
There was no way out of it now, Zac realized, as they walked from their parking spot to the gallery, which was already teeming with people. The crowd, Zac noticed, was an odd mixture of hipsters and college professors, and some who might have been both. Taylor blended right in, but Zac couldn’t help feeling that he, and to a lesser extent Melissa, stood out like a sore thumb.
And then there were the paintings.
There were a wide variety of them, from abstract to realistic, and even a few sculptures and installations which Zac had to laugh at Melissa for eyeing curiously. He found himself draw to some of the collages, and wondered if he could incorporate some of that into his next pieces, perhaps with clippings from the sort of fashion magazines he used to tease Taylor for buying…
“Oh, wow,” Taylor breathed out, suddenly appearing by Zac’s side and grasping his sleeve.
Zac followed his eyes and realized he was staring right at Zac’s series of five paintings. They hadn’t truly been meant to be a series, but Zac had to commend Melissa for picking pieces that went together so perfectly.
They all had one thing in common: Taylor.
One of the paintings was too much of an extreme close-up to be obvious, and the other portrait featured Taylor in full drag. Rounding out the set were two still lives with makeup and a rather racy one of legs in fishnets. It was a pretty revealing set of paintings, all things considered, but Zac had to admit it was some of his best work. He didn’t know what else he would have chosen if it were up to him; these were the only things he had been inspired to paint in months. And they truly were, if he were being honest, some of his best work.
“Those are… wow, Zac,” Taylor said, giving his arm a squeeze.
Zac glanced at Melissa, whose face was unreadable. Surely she had made the connection before? She knew Taylor. She had to have realized who Zac’s muse was; perhaps that was why she had connected the dots so easily about their relationship. He glanced back at Taylor nervously, unsure if Taylor would realize that Melissa knew their secret.
Before he could even dare to ask, he heard someone call out his name.
“Zac, man!” Shaun called out, clapping a hand onto his shoulder. “And Melissa, looking beautiful.”
“Hey,” Zac said, forcing a smile. It turned a bit more genuine when he saw his other friend looking a bit sheepish by Shaun’s side. “Hey, Drew.”
“What’s up, man?” Shaun said. “Oh, Drew, have you met Zac’s girl, Melissa? And…”
Zac opened his mouth to say something, either to correct Shaun about Melissa’s status or to make up some lie about who Taylor was, but all that came out was a pathetic squeak.
“Jordan,” Taylor said, holding out his hand to Shaun. “Zac’s new roommate.”
Shaun turned back to Zac, his hand remaining in Taylor’s for just a moment too long. “Oh, man, we really need to catch up. When did that happen?”
“Couple weeks ago,” Zac said dumbly.
Drew was strangely silent, his eyes fixed on a point over Zac’s shoulder. It only took Zac a moment to realize what he must be looking at, and his fears were confirmed when Drew looked at Taylor, then at him, his eyes growing wide.
“I… uh… I need some fresh air,” Zac stuttered out, a faint buzzing in his head drowning out whatever small talk Taylor and Shaun were now making.
He ignored Drew’s open mouthed stare and Melissa’s fingers grasping at his arm. His feet propelled him quickly through the crowd, all of whom were faceless to him. Zac could not focus on anything until he made it outside, a rush of surprisingly cold air hitting him as soon as he was through the door.
Zac gasped for breath, but he could still hear and feel his heart beating in his temples.
Not only had Melissa discovered them, but now Drew had, too. Of course Drew would remember the crossdresser named Jordan. It might have disguised his true identity, but it didn’t hide the fact that Zac was involved with another man. That would be enough of a hurdle for his friends to jump over.
And the rest…
If they ever discovered the rest of the truth, Zac didn’t know what he would do. He couldn’t even imagine one second into the future, let alone if the inevitable happened. And it was inevitable, wasn’t it? If Melissa could figure it out, it couldn’t be nearly as secret as Zac had assumed.
It was only a matter of time. And right then, time felt like it was standing still.
“Zac? Are you okay?”
He spun around, suddenly realizing how far he was from the gallery when he saw Melissa practically sprinting toward him. He didn’t remember walking so far, but he supposed he had—or perhaps he had run, judging by how out of breath he suddenly realized he was.
Melissa stared at him, wide eyed. “Of course you’re not okay. I’m sorry. That was a stupid question.”
“Everyone… everyone’s going to know,” he breathed out.
“No offense, Zac, but your friends are really not that smart.”
Zac stared her down. “You were.”
“I am clearly the exception,” she shot back. “But honestly, how would they know? I don’t think Shaun even connected the dots and realized that was who you had painted. I’m pretty sure he thought you had painted me, judging by the way he kept leering at me. I’m going to need at least two showers tonight, by the way, to wash that off.”
“They were at the club,” Zac said. “You know, the Electric Ballroom? Where we picked him up that time? That was… that was where we met. I mean. Where we found each other. Again.”
“You can tell me the whole story some other time,” Melissa said. “But I mean, you were all drunk then, right? What’s the chance they even remember?”
“I don’t know,” Zac replied honestly. “Drew does. He… he knew. I mean, he figured out that the girl I had been flirting with was a man.”
“But Shaun didn’t?” Melissa asked, and Zac shook his head. “Okay. That’s not so bad then. I like Drew; he seems like a good guy. And anyway, neither of them know he’s your brother, right? Especially since he just covered both of your asses by using his first name.”
“He did.” Zac realized. “So much for those favors he thought he owed me.”
Melissa tilted her head to the moment, then shook it, evidently deciding that wasn’t worth questioning. “So I don’t know why you’re acting like it’s the end of the world. Do either of them even know your brother is back? I’m assuming no, since they didn’t even know you had a ‘roommate.’”
“They don’t,” Zac said. “So maybe… maybe it isn’t so bad. I don’t know. I just don’t know how much longer we can do this. Keep it a secret. I mean, how can it be? We’re so obvious.”
“You’re obvious because I know you both and I saw the paintings. Your friends only know you, and honestly, I’m wondering how well they know you. No offense. I’m really flattered that you have gotten so comfortable with me and shared so much with me, but you’ve known those two so much longer.”
“I have, but after this last semester, it feels like I don’t know them at all.” Zac sighed. After a moment, he added. “Like I don’t even know me at all.”
Melissa leaned against the side of the building. “Okay, I lied. Can I get a summary of the story?”
“Umm,” Zac said, leaning next to her and letting out a long sigh. “Well, we were at the club. They were trying to cheer me up, you know? And I met this girl—only she wasn’t a girl. She was—you know. He realized it first, but still too late. And it probably doesn’t matter, but yes, that was the first time I’d been with a guy.”
Melissa nodded. “You don’t have to justify any of it to me.”
“Don’t I?” Zac asked. “I mean, for god’s sake, he’s my—how can you be okay with that? How can I be okay with that?”
“It helps that I had some time to think about it,” Melissa admitted. “I mean, I saw the paintings, and then I saw the way you looked at him. And, well, I have a lot of academic journals at my disposal. So I did some research. There haven’t been that many studies, probably because they can’t find people who would be open about it even under the promise of anonymity. But anyway, what I found was mostly about siblings who weren’t raised together, for whatever reason. They called it genetic sexual attraction. It’s apparently a thing. Some of them didn’t know the other person’s real identity when they met; some of them did, and they fell in love anyway. I know it’s different with you two, but you were apart for a long time. Time when you both grew and developed a lot. So if you didn’t recognize each other but you did feel something—that’s understandable.”
“If you say so,” Zac replied. He took Melissa’s hand in his. “But leave it to you to find an explanation for something I’m still so confused by. I know what I feel, though. But just… thank you so much. I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t understand. So seriously, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,’ Melissa replied.
“There you two are,” Taylor said, practically jogging down the sidewalk toward them. “Is everything okay?’
“Yeah,” Zac said. “In case you weren’t aware, Melissa is pretty dam awesome.”
Taylor looked confused, but smiled. “Well, so are you. All of your paintings sold, and the gallery wants more.”
Zac tilted his head to the side. He had heard every word Taylor said, somehow they didn’t seem to make sense in the order he had said them. “They want… more? More what?”
“More of your work!” Taylor exclaimed. “Zac, you’re popular. Successful, even. I told you that you could do it. This is your thing. And this is your chance. They’re going to give you a call in a week or so to talk about it; I told them you’d need to think it over. Maybe that’ll get you an even better deal.”
Melissa squealed, squeezing Zac’s hand. “Zac, that’s so great!”
“Yeah… yeah, it is,” Zac breathed out.
She stared up at him, then slowly turned to Taylor. “Why don’t we go get some drinks to celebrate?”
“I could definitely use a drink,” Zac replied.
Taylor still had a hint of confusion in his eyes, but he stepped in and brushed his hand against Zac’s arm. “Congrats, Zac. You deserve it. So much.”
Zac smiled. “And just so you know, you don’t owe me a damn thing.”
Taylor laughed, and Zac couldn’t resist laughing along. Melissa joined in, even though Zac was sure she didn’t understand the joke. It didn’t matter; they were just enjoying the moment.
As the three of them walked arm in arm down the street, Zac finally felt himself relax. He knew he still had a lot to answer for, including blowing off his other friends, but this felt right. After everything, he decided he owed it to himself to finally follow his heart and not his mind.