Every Possible Way
A few hours later, Zac found himself stumbling back into his apartment. He had been largely silent during his dinner with Melissa, which he knew made him horrible company, but he couldn’t risk revealing who the object of his affections was. Likewise, he tried his best to play it cool as she drove him home. Of course she knew he wasn’t getting along well with Taylor, but he dreaded the day she put two and two together.
For now, though, he was in the clear, at least where Melissa was concerned. Taylor was another story. As soon as Zac managed to unlock the door and stumble inside, he was aware that every single light in the apartment was on. It took him only a moment to locate Taylor, sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee.
“I stayed late on campus,” Zac mumbled, feeling stupid for even assuming he needed to explain himself to Taylor. The look on his brother’s face said that it was necessary, though. “Then, uh, I had dinner with Melissa.”
“Your girlfriend?” Taylor asked.
“No,” Zac replied, the word coming out with more force that he had intended. “No, I… we’re just friends. That’s absolutely all. I couldn’t date her.”
Taylor raised an eyebrow. “Why not? She’s cute. Even I can see that. I wouldn’t do anything about it, but I can see it.”
It was now or never, Zac realized. He took a few steps across the tile toward Taylor. “It wouldn’t be fair to her. Not just because I’m not really into her like that, but because… well, I am into someone else. I mean, I… god, I’m so tired of fighting this, and I know you won’t believe that, because all I’ve done is fight it.”
“Fight what?” Taylor asked, standing up and walking toward Zac.
“This.” Zac motioned between their bodies. “You and me. I know it’s wrong, I know it’s fucked up, but knowing that doesn’t make it go away. I know my actions haven’t shown it, but the truth is that now that I have you back in my life, I want you to stay there. And I want you there in… every possible way.”
“Every possible way,” Taylor echoed, his voice soft and low.
Zac nodded. “Without you, I haven’t been alive at all, Tay. And god, it hurts to come back to life, but I swear I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“Oh, Zac,” Taylor breathed out, closing the distance between them with a hand pressed to Zac’s chest. He stared intently at Zac for a moment before saying, “You’re drunk.”
“I had three beers, that’s all. Maybe four. I know what I’m saying, Tay. I mean every word of it.”
“And if you wake up in the morning and realize you don’t mean it? That you regret it?”
“I won’t,” Zac replied, placing his hand over Taylor’s. “It’s taken me too long to work up the nerve to admit it. I can’t go back now. I won’t.”
“I don’t think there’s any going back for either of us now,” Taylor replied.
“Good,” Zac said, moving his hand to Taylor’s cheek.
He leaned in, intending to kiss his brother, but missed the mark a bit. His lips landed on Taylor’s jaw instead, and it made Taylor let out a ragged gasp. Zac rested his head in the crook of Taylor’s neck, breathing in his scent. Taylor didn’t smell like any other guy Zac knew, although Zac had to admit he hadn’t spent a lot of time smelling the rest of them. He smelled like some flowers Zac couldn’t identify and vanilla. He had always used vanilla scented body wash, Zac remembered. When he had curled up in Taylor’s bed as a kid, the sheets always smelled like vanilla. As cheesy as the thought was, that scent was home for Zac.
“Zac,” Taylor breathed out, his fingers hooked in Zac’s belt loop like it was an anchor. “I feel like a broken record, but you know there’s really no going back now. We can’t keep going back and forth, and if we… if we take this step, I won’t go back. I can’t.”
“Go back to what?” Zac asked, the words muffled by Taylor’s hot flesh. “Being just brothers? Pretending I’m not in love with you?”
Taylor’s body stiffened at Zac’s words, and Zac held his breath. He had certainly gone too far this time. It was one thing, he realized, to admit a sexual interest in someone he had fooled around with before realizing who that someone was. It was another entirely to suggest that love was possible between two brothers.
“I’m sorry, Tay, I’ll… I…” Zac stuttered out, pulling away from Taylor quickly.
He stumbled out of the room before Taylor could say anything else. Whatever Taylor was thinking, Zac was sure he didn’t want to know. He made it all the way to his bedroom before he realized Taylor was hot on his heels, flinging the door open behind him.
“Will you stop fucking running away from me?” Taylor screeched. “God, do you think I’m as scared of your emotions as you are? Is that it? Have you ever stopped to think I’m feeling the exact same things? God knows I have more reason to be scared.”
“Why?” Zac asked. “Why would—why would you be scared?”
“Think about it, Zac,” Taylor replied. “I’m your older brother, Zac. I’m supposed to be a good influence. I’m not supposed to fall in love with you. It’s not like anyone could have known or predicted, but I just keep thinking—they told me, they said they couldn’t risk my influence on you, and I just—I—”
Taylor’s voice caught in his throat, and without him saying their names, Zac knew he was talking about their parents. Anger bubbled up inside of him. As if everything else they had done wasn’t bad enough, how could they have actually implied that Taylor might be a child molester, too? Of course it had stuck with him, as untrue as it was, and of course it would be at the front of Taylor’s mind now that it had, in a way, come true.
But it hadn’t. Zac hadn’t been coerced or forced, and Zac was an adult capable of making his own choices. Taylor had to see that.
Zac stepped forward and grasped Taylor’s shoulders forcefully, pushing him back against the bedroom door, which slammed with enough force to make the two of them jump. After a little nervous laughter, Zac said, “I love you, Tay. And yeah, maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe we shouldn’t. But it’s too late to change that; you said it yourself. We can’t go back. But this is… I know my own mind, Tay. This is my choice, and I’m tired of fighting it and pretending it’s not what I want.”
“Me too,” Taylor replied, his lips slowly turning up in a smile. “I love you too, Zac, I swear. I always have, even before it became this kind of love. All I ever wanted was for your life to be easier than mine and for you to be happy.”
“I’ll be happy,” Zac replied, “if you’d shut up and kiss me.”
Taylor let out a hiccup-y little laugh, then leaned in and pressed his lips to Zac’s. That one little motion seemed to open the floodgates, and Zac decided he didn’t care how needy or desperate he looked. He grasped Taylor’s hips and pulled him backward, never breaking their kiss except to laugh when they fell into an awkward heap on the bed.
Zac rolled them over so that he was on top, but Taylor obviously had different plans and soon Zac found himself pinned against the mattress. He was fine with that, really, even if it didn’t leave him many options but to wriggle around and paw at Taylor’s clothes until Taylor got the hint and began to undress. It wasn’t much of a strip tease, something Zac was sure Taylor would have excelled at, but under the circumstances he couldn’t complain.
It wasn’t as though Zac were all that skilled in bed, anyway, a fact he was sure Taylor was figuring it. He struggled to pull down his own pants and free himself from his shirt, feeling like a total idiot. A part of him wondered what Taylor saw in him at all, at least on a purely physical level, but this wasn’t the time to worry about that. Not when Taylor’s practically throbbing erection was right there in front him, obvious proof that Taylor did find him attractive.
Without really thinking about what he was doing, Zac wrapped his hand around said erection and nearly pulled Taylor on top of him with his tight grip. Taylor caught himself at the last second, propping himself up on his elbows while Zac finally found the presence of mind to move his hand. It was almost too obscene to think, but Zac had to figure that given that they were brothers, Taylor’s preferences were probably similar to his own. With that in mind, he adjusted his motions, his grasp still firm but his rhythm slow and steady. Judging by the whimpers and whines coming from his mouth, Taylor liked it just fine. That gave Zac’s confidence such a boost that he couldn’t resist smiling, which caused Taylor to look at him a bit quizzically.
“What is it?” Taylor asked, his voice low and breathy.
Zac shook his head. “Nothing. Just… happy. Glad I’m not, you know, horrible at this.”
“Surely you’ve had plenty of practice at this,” Taylor replied.
Zac blushed, and Taylor just giggled. He flashed Zac a surprisingly innocent looking smile before ducking his head downward and planting a less gentle kiss to his neck. His lips quickly moved downward, and Zac wanted to protest that Taylor had done this for him enough, that it ought to be his turn by now, but he found himself incapable of speech once Taylor’s lips found their ultimate target.
In any case, if he were honest with himself, Zac wouldn’t have minded at all if he never did anything else for the rest of his life except watch Taylor suck his dick. He didn’t really care how pathetic or depraved that made him; it was a simple fact that he couldn’t ignore. His brother seemed to be made for sucking dick. For one thing, he looked like a porn star, his pink cheeks all hollow and his long bangs tickling Zac’s thighs. For another, he was about to get Zac off in record time.
Zac probably should have been ashamed of that, too, but he was far past the point of shame, he decided. Instead, he just buried his hand in Taylor’s hair as a sort of warning and wrapped his left leg around Taylor’s waist as if to anchor himself.
In spite of said anchor, he still felt himself being pulled under all too soon, his entire body seeming to vibrate as his orgasm overtook him and filled Taylor’s mouth. Taylor, true to form, swallowed every drop of it.
Almost every drop, Zac observed, as he watched Taylor crawl back up his body. One stray droplet clung to Taylor’s bottom lip, and before he could think better of it, Zac darted his tongue out to lick it up. It was tangy and not altogether unpleasant, if Zac ignored the fact that it was his. It only made him want to taste Taylor’s even more, to see how similar they were in that respect, too.
With that thought in mind, he trailed his hand between their bodies again, taking his time to feel the faint hint of stubble re-growing on Taylor’s chest and the closely groomed hair that lay just above his final destination. Said final destination was throbbing intently now, and that made Zac smile against Taylor’s lips. He wrapped his hand firmly around Taylor’s cock and stroked quickly this time, not sure he had the patience to draw things out much longer. He wanted to have the same effect on Taylor as Taylor had on him. He needed it, needed to know that his brother was as completely undone as he was.
He gave a flick of his wrist and regretted it, as Taylor clamped down on his tongue suddenly.
“Shit,” Taylor breathed out, pulling back a bit. “Sorry. I just—that. Whatever that was, that was good. Really good.”
“Yeah?” Zac asked, needing to hear it for himself even if Taylor’s reaction had confirmed it.
“Yeah,” Taylor replied. “So, so good. So close. So fucking close, baby.”
The pet name nearly set Zac over the edge again, and gave him the push he needed to get Taylor the rest of the way, too. With a few more practiced flicks of his wrist, he felt the tell-tale pulsing of Taylor’s cock. Even though this was all still so new, he knew. Sure enough, only seconds later, a tremor went through Taylor’s body and a steady stream of warm come filled Zac’s hand.
He kept us his rhythm for a moment, effectively milking Taylor for all he was worth. Carefully, so as not to make a bigger mess than necessary, Zac lifted his hand to his mouth and let a few drops fall onto his waiting tongue. Tangy, but almost sweet–like Taylor, Zac supposed. He lapped it up eagerly, aware of the way Taylor groaned at the sight.
“I did say ‘every possible way’,” Zac said, grinning sheepishly up at his brother, who looked on the verge of a second orgasm.
“God,” Taylor breathed out. “If I didn’t already love you…”
That broke the tension of the moment, both of them dissolving into a fit of giggles. How they could go from that to a laughing fit seemed impossible, but then nearly everything about their relationship was. Zac opened his mouth to say something of the sort, but found he had no sufficient words. Instead, he pressed a soft kiss to Taylor’s cheek and smiled.
“Love you,” Taylor said softly, running a hand through Zac’s hair. “God help me, but I do.”
Zac smiled up at him. “Love you, too.”