March 2008
Before Avery could say anything to Paisley though, Paisley only heaved a sigh before uncrossing her arms and shaking her head.
“You didn’t have to stop swapping spit just because I cleared my throat,” she spoke sounding angry. A tone that Avery hadn’t heard from her before and again before Avery could say anything Paisley turned quickly, leaving the dance floor and Avery just looked back at Carol.
Giving her an apologetic smile before moving to go after Paisley even if maybe she should have stayed and tried to explain things to Carol. But truth be told she wasn’t sure how to do that.
Not when she wasn’t entirely sure where she stood with Paisley feelings wise on Paisley’s end. Though the reaction tonight sure seemed like one of a jealous lover and again Avery had some hope that Paisley could like her like Avery did her.
Her mind being quick though to dash those dreams and remind her of Ellery and how Paisley was sleeping with her again probably though.
“Paisley,” Avery spoke once both she and Paisley had made it outside and she was close enough that maybe the other girl could hear her. “Please stop rage walking,” she muttered out when Paisley picked up her pace after Avery had said her name.
Paisley seemed to stop at that as she turned on her heel and faced Avery, the glare still ever present on her face.
“I’m not rage walking,” she defended as she crossed her arms over her chest again. “I’m just very gay, very pissed off and a bit short so I’m making my legs move faster.”
Rolling her eyes at that Avery now crossed her arms too, “Which is basically rage walking,” she defended with a shake of her head. “You’re rage walking and you’re pissed off and I just want to know why?” she asked feeling a bit nervous at whatever would come out of Paisley’s mouth.
“Why are you angry at me for?” she asked another question this time her voice cracking slightly as a few tears threatened to come out and go down her cheeks.
Paisley heaved a sigh as she looked down and away from Avery’s gaze, “I’m not angry at you,” she spoke her voice sounding so soft. “I’m just angry at myself okay?”
“Angry at yourself?” Avery asked confusion laced in her words. “Why are you angry at yourself?”
“Because I fell for you Avery,” Paisley blurted out in a huff as she looked back up at Avery. “I fell for you knowing that I shouldn’t and it hurt to see you in there kissing someone who wasn’t me and I know it’s my fault. I mean it’s not like we’ve really talked about my feelings for you since I gave you that letter and told you to listen to that song and we should have because if we had I wouldn’t have had to see you kissing a girl who wasn’t me.”
Listening to Paisley as she ranted, Avery stayed silent as she took in her words. Her heart beating a tiny bit faster at the revelation that Paisley did indeed have feelings for her too.
That she felt the same way as Avery and it wasn’t just one sided because Avery as bad as it was to think wasn’t sure she could be like Cordelia. She couldn’t just stand by and happily take it if the person she liked didn’t have feelings for her too.
She wasn’t that strong which she did have to give Cordelia credit for being that strong and for trying to still be her friend and also to date girls who weren’t Avery.
“But Cal thinks you’re sleeping with Ellery again and Junie said that Ellery was helping you with that project tonight,” Avery spoke before she could even stop herself.
Hating that she had to bring up a subject that made her jealous. But she wasn’t stupid just because Paisley had feelings for her and didn’t want to see her kissing someone else didn’t mean that she wasn’t doing the same.
People after all could be hypocrites.
Paisley’s eyebrows knitted at that as she shook her head, “I’m not sleeping with Elle again,” she said as she laughed slightly like the idea was funny to her. “Yeah she did help me tonight and yeah she wants to get back with me but I don’t want her. It’s not her that I have feelings for anymore and I haven’t sleep with anyone since I started sleeping with you.”
Avery couldn’t help but smile at that knowledge, “Really?” she asked with a bit of glee in her voice even if they hadn’t resolved Paisley’s feelings over Avery kissing Carol.
“Really,” Paisley responded her voice coming out soft. “I’m head over heels gone for you Avery Hanson and I don’t think any girl could do for me right now,” she said as she stepped a bit closer to Avery. “I guess I’m just not sure the same could be said for you too since you know you were kissing someone else and that’s why I’m angry. I went and fell without even knowing if you felt the same. Even told you not to fall for me.”
“But I do like you,” Avery confessed as she kept her smile. “I only even talked to Carol and let her kiss me because I was jealous over the possibility of you and Ellery.”
Again Paisley laughed at that, “Well there is no me and Ellery and there never will be again,” she told her as she came even closer to Avery and even though Paisley was shorter than her, Paisley cupped both of Avery’s cheeks with her hand.
Avery’s eyes fluttering shut briefly at the contact.
“I only want you right now Hanson,” Paisley smiled and as Avery opened her eyes she saw Paisley leaning in for a kiss.
A kiss that Avery returned without even caring that they were on a sidewalk in the middle of downtown Tulsa and could be spotted by anyone.
Pouting when Paisley pulled away, Avery only looked at her wishing she hadn’t though she knew in all likelihood they couldn’t have stood there all night kissing even if the idea wasn’t so bad to her.
“Come home with me,” Paisley spoke as she kept her hands on Avery’s cheek. “Want to be with you all night,” she added on her voice going all low almost in a bedroom like fashion which matched the bedroom eyes she was giving Avery right now.
Avery felt herself blush before chewing her lip because she knew if she stayed out all night again she’d get in trouble. All she had told her parents was that she was going out with Juniper for the night. She hadn’t asked to stay out and she knew from last time she pulled the staying out and not telling her parents how well her mom had taken it.
But the offer and Paisley were both oh so tempting and she really didn’t want to say no.
“Okay,” Avery agreed knowing there probably would be hell to pay when she went home tomorrow but right now hell be damned.
She’d take it if it meant spending more time with Paisley.
Paisley smiled at Avery’s words, leaning in to kiss her briefly before pulling away and this time when she did she moved her hands off Avery’s cheek. Letting one of her hands link with Avery’s as she lead the way to her car. Avery knowing that tomorrow she’d have to have Paisley drive her back down this way so she could get her own car and go home.
Following Paisley inside of her apartment, Avery stayed silent as Paisley turned on the lights. A new weird feeling building inside her as she realized tonight would be the first time they’d be intimate with each other since admitting their feelings and that made Avery nervous.
Feeling a whole new level of vulnerable because she had never truly felt this way for anyone. Paisley was the first girl that she truly loved. The first person that she truly loved and a part of her knew with this knowledge came the knowledge that Paisley could hurt her in the end or she could hurt Paisley and she didn’t want that.
But at the same time she wouldn’t change anything because despite still not coming out to her family she felt at her happiest. For the first time in a long time she was happy all because she was in love for the first time.
Words that scared her because maybe somehow they were moving too fast. Had only known each other a month.
“You okay Hanson?” Paisley asked as she came up behind Avery, wrapping her arms around Avery’s waist. “You’ve been silent ever since we left the club.”
Avery smiled as she turned in Paisley’s arms, “I’m just thinking,” she said deciding to be honest. “I mean do you think we’re moving too fast?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “We’ve only known each other for a month.”
Paisley pursed her lips slightly, “I mean we had sex the first day we talked so I don’t think fast is unusual for us here Avery. But sometimes when you know, you just know.”
Smiling more Avery nodded not even finding it weird that Paisley had just quoted what her mom said to her all the time. Heck maybe it made her feel a bit more at ease as well as have hopes that if she ever came out to her family that her mom would be happy for her.
Because Avery was sure if she could get past the gay thing then she’d like Paisley. Her mom had always said she wanted someone who made her kids happy even if they also had to meet other standards that her mom selfishly held onto and Paisley made her happy.
Paisley made her beyond happy and she just wanted her mom to meet her and fall in love with her and now would have been the perfect time to tell Paisley about her mom wanting to meet her. But Avery didn’t mention it. Instead she leaned in and kissed her.
The kiss a lot more passionate than the ones they had shared on the sidewalk and one in which they somehow without falling down made their way to Paisley’s bedroom.
A room that was becoming like a second bedroom to Avery as often as she was in it nowadays.
Pulling away from the kiss once she had hit the bed, Avery looked up at Paisley before slowly pushing up her shirt, “I love you clothed but I think I want you naked right now,” she spoke with a smirk on her lips. “Want you all naked and against me.”
“Of course you do babe,” Paisley replied as she helped her take off her shirt and after it was gone Paisley soon removed Avery’s shirt too as she winked at her. “Think I want you naked right now too,” she said as she leaned down to kiss Avery quickly. “Because you know as much as I loved you clothed you being naked makes it easier for me to be against you and all.”
Laughing Avery kissed Paisley again and this time as they kissed they took each other’s remaining clothes off until they were both naked. Paisley’s hand soon slipping between Avery’s legs and causing Avery to moan out loudly into the kiss.
“Fuck,” Avery muttered as she pulled away from the kiss when she felt one of Paisley’s fingers slip so effortlessly inside of her. Mainly because she was already so turned on.
The new feeling to tonight making her more heightened and aware of things even in the sexual department.
“Yeah, is that what you want Avery?” Paisley asked her teasingly as she began to move her finger in and out of Avery at a slow and very tortuous rate in Avery’s opinion. “You want me to fuck you?” she asked before leaning in and leaving a light kiss on Avery’s cheek.
Nodding her head Avery let her eyes fall shut as her hips began to match Paisley’s movements with her finger. Her body needing much more friction than what she was getting.
“I didn’t hear you Avery,” Paisley spoke again as she added a second finger inside of Avery and Avery shut her eyes tighter. “Do you want me to fuck you?”
“Please,” Avery whimpered as she opened her eyes, looking up at Paisley hoping she didn’t look as desperate as she had sounded.
Though if she did, Paisley didn’t let her know. Instead she slipped her fingers out of Avery which caused Avery to whimper.
“Shush,” Paisley stated as she put a finger against Avery’s lips to silence her. “Want to try something new with you tonight. Going to need to give me a few minutes.”
Avery nodded her head as she took in Paisley’s words. Her eyebrows raising when Paisley moved from the bed slowly. Going over to her dresser drawers and opening the top one, rummaging through it for a few minutes and maybe Avery wouldn’t complain about that.
No matter how turned on she was and how much she wanted relief because the view of Paisley’s ass was nice and maybe it was that knowledge that made Avery move some on the bed. Reaching over to the nightstand where Paisley kept her Polaroid camera.
Not the camera she used for when she wanted to take professional pictures but one she kept just when she wanted a random picture for fun and after it was turned on, Avery snapped a picture.
Giving Paisley an innocent smile when she turned at the sound of it, the picture coming out at the same time almost that she had turned around.
“I know you didn’t just take a picture of my ass,” Paisley stated as she pulled whatever she had been looking for out of the drawer.
Avery gave her another innocent smile, “I can’t lie and say I didn’t because I did,” she said as she pulled the picture out and laid the camera back down.
Shaking the picture some until it started to become clear and she just smiled at it, “Think I may even take this one home with me and put it in my shoe box of mementos,” she stated as she laid the picture down beside the camera.
Her eyes landing on what was in Paisley’s hand. A bottle of lube as well as a strap on.
Avery never really having seen a strap on in person. Just in a few short porn clips that she had been watching over the last month when she had been alone at night in her room and she needed to get off.
Paisley who had followed her line of sight, smirked slightly, “You said you wanted me to fuck you,” she told her and yeah Avery had said that but for some reason her brain hadn’t, had a dildo in mind when she thought of being fucked by Paisley.
Though maybe she should have had it on her mind.
“I did,” Avery confirmed as she watched Paisley put the strap on, on. “I’ve just never you know had one used on me before. Just like I’ve never used a dildo before either or any sex toy really,” she admitted knowing that compared to Paisley she was probably very innocent when it came to most things.
But then again she lived in a house with tons of people and very religious parents. How could she even fathom hiding a sex toy in the house? The thought of hiding the picture of Paisley was already confusing enough but she was going to try it anyway because she really did like that picture.
Paisley smirked more as she moved back onto the bed, leaning in to kiss Avery softly on the lips. “I know,” she spoke after pulling away. “I’ll make sure I don’t hurt you too much,” she reassured her and Avery knew what she was talking about.
Besides fingers Avery had really had nothing else inside of her before and it could potentially hurt if she hadn’t fully popped her cherry.
She’d really be losing her virginity via a strap on.
“O…okay,” Avery spoke her voice catching as she chewed her lip again, watching as Paisley soon applied some lube to the the fake cock part of the dildo. A part of Avery praying to whatever god she could that Paisley applied enough lube.
Avery hating to admit that she was scared of the pain even if usually pain was something she liked, like when she got bit or when Paisley sometimes would pull on her hair when she went down on her. But the thought of this pain really did make her nervous.
After Paisley had applied the lube, Avery leaned in to kiss her. Pulling her back down over her as the kiss deepened and maybe she also just wanted to feel Paisley close before Paisley slid inside of her. Wanting to know that she was close and be reassured again that Paisley wouldn’t hurt her.
She did trust that at least. Trusted that the girl who she was in love with wouldn’t hurt her if she said she wouldn’t. It was just nice to have that reassurance.
As they kissed, Avery bit down on Paisley’s lips as she felt her slip inside. Her nails instantly gripping onto the skin of Paisley’s back as a bit of pain hit her.
Not much pain but enough that she had to tighten her grip on Paisley and maybe she had tensed up some.
“You’re okay Hanson,” Paisley whispered into the kiss as she stayed still for a bit. Only moving once Avery had loosened her grip some and as she began to move Avery let her eyes fall shut.
The pain slowly giving way to pleasure. A different kind of pleasure than when Paisley used her fingers or her tongue or even when she rubbed her pussy against Avery’s. A pleasure that Avery found she liked more than she had expected.
Smiling some she opened her eyes and looked up at Paisley as he hips began to match Paisley’s movements. Their eyes locking and Avery felt her heart flutter some when Paisley smiled too.
“I love you,” Avery spoke before she could even stop herself. Hoping that it wasn’t too soon to say that but well it felt right in the moment at least.
“I love you too,” Paisley replied and after she had spoken she leaned in to kiss Avery.
Their lips moving together softly as Avery brought Paisley just a bit closer to her. Liking the closeness of her, liking having her closer than anyone else had ever been before.
Almost wishing maybe a bit foolishly that it could always be them forever. That she’d be like her parents and marry the first person that she dated. Even if she knew the odds weren’t in her favor…either of their favors anyway.
But for now she’d let herself picture it. Let herself imagine her and Paisley forever, one day getting married if gay marriage ever became legal or if not just being life partners and growing old together. Having babies somehow and a pet.
Owning their own house and both having jobs that centered on what they loved to do. Avery with her painting and Paisley with her photography.
Which was probably way too fluffy to be thinking of during sex yet here she was thinking about it and the more she did the closer she got to her orgasm. That familiar feeling building up inside of her slowly, her nails going a bit deeper into Paisley’s back.
Building up until she finally went over the edge. Her moans coming out loud as she broke away from the kiss and Avery was half sure that the upstairs neighbor named Bob who Paisley had told her about the first time they hooked up had heard her.
Would probably hate Paisley more than he already did. But Avery truly couldn’t help being loud because fuck her orgasm had felt so good but maybe not as good as the one she got when they were scissoring because the feelings of their pussies rubbing together was way better than a fake plastic cock inside of her could ever be.
Feeling Paisley pull out of her as she fell on the bed beside Avery both girls just laid there on the bed, catching their breath for a bit.
Though once they had Avery turned over, propping herself up on her arm, her eyes falling to the strap on that Paisley still wore.
“Take that off Pai,” Avery spoke half whining as she leaned in to kiss Paisley’s neck softly. “I really really want to eat you out right now and make you moan as loud as I did.”
Paisley only laughed though goosebumps formed on her skin under Avery’s kisses. “Aren’t you being eager right now,” she teased. “Figured you’d be tired and not wanting to move after officially losing your virginity.”
“I am tired but I want to taste you and make you feel as good as you made me feel,” Avery sighed as she kissed Paisley’s neck some more. “I do quite like the taste of you,” she revealed before slowly biting on Paisley’s neck.
Getting a tiny moan out of Paisley before Paisley gave her what she wanted. Took the strap on off so that Avery could eat her pussy.
Yawning as she curled into Paisley’s arm which was wrapped around her, Avery let her arms rest over Paisley’s. Both girls now well and truly spent and tired. Though neither were asleep just yet. They were just laying in the bed cuddling while naked.
Because they were way too lazy and tired to get dressed.
“Ellery was awful to me,” Paisley spoke which made Avery turn her head slightly to look at her. “Treated me like shit and always accused me of cheating on her. Whether it be with someone I spoke too once or Calliope. I was just always cheating somehow in her mind. Got to the point I couldn’t even go out anywhere without her and if I did she’d feel the constant need to check my phone just to make sure I wasn’t keeping shit from her. In the end it turned out she was the one cheating but somehow she found a way to blame me. I didn’t love her enough or make her feel valued enough. It was then that I broke up with her and I know I shouldn’t still be friends with her but she makes it so hard to cut ties.”
Nodding her head Avery couldn’t help but frown, “Do you want to cut ties with her?”
“Of course I do but like I said she makes it hard,” Paisley sighed as if she felt conflicted and maybe she would. After all Ellery was probably the first girl she had loved. “I certainly don’t want her back because I learned the first time I was with her and I just…I wanted you to know that.”
Avery kept her frown as she held onto Paisley’s arms a bit tighter, “I’m glad you told me,” she said and she was glad that Paisley had opened up to her.
Let her in slightly and told her about her and Ellery and maybe now would again be a good time to mention about her parents wanting to meet Paisley or even mention her maybe traveling this summer but instead she chose to stay silent.
Deciding that she’d mention one or the other or both when they were awake tomorrow.
Paisley only hmmed at that before kissing the back of Avery’s neck, “Night Avery,” she muttered out softly.
“Night Paisley,” Avery said as she yawned again, her eyes fluttering shut as she let herself listen to Paisley’s breathing which soon lulled her to sleep.
That and maybe the fact that she just felt so safe and secure in Paisley’s arms. Like it was where she was meant to be for now.