April 2008
Avery sat on a chair in her room. Paintbrush in hand as she sat in front of an almost blank canvas. Her eyes scanning the sketch she did of herself and Zac a month ago in Texas.
Finally deciding to turn the sketch into a painting. Especially since she had nothing else to do on this Tuesday night. Her parents were out on some last minute date night and Jessica who was home for once instead of out with Joe was in charge of everyone and Avery had opted to take a break from studying.
A part of her wishing she had decided to go out, after all it was a month exactly since she and Paisley had became official but Avery was afraid to test the waters.
Knowing how much her mom could be hypocritical and she felt if she asked to go out now she’d get the third degree. Her mom wanting to know if she was hanging out with her good gay friend or the bad one who she was in love with.
Who she was secretly dating and who she half wished she could be open about. Instead of still having to pretend she was dating Jeremy.
A rouse that she didn’t see how it hadn’t fallen apart yet because they rarely saw each other. Rarely hung out which made sense now that Avery knew about Tyler and how Jeremy had gotten himself a boyfriend.
Chewing her lip Avery soon began to apply her paintbrush to the canvas. Painting what she had drawn and adding each color as she vividly remembered it from her mind. The best she could anyway because the memory itself was an old one.
Even if it was one of her most cherished ones. One she always hoped to keep locked away somewhere inside of her because that day was probably one of her happiest days.
Though sometimes she doubted if it was one of Zac’s. Wondered how many happy days he had, had in the past few years anyway.
Then again the same could be said about most of her siblings except Mac and Zoe. Both of them at least in Avery’s mind were too young to be tarnished and tainted just yet. They still had a few more years until that happened or at least Zoe did.
Mac was fourteen now so Mac may have slowly began to realize that life wasn’t all sunshine and roses. That their family wasn’t all sunshine and roses either. That just like every other family they had secrets and cracks beneath the surface that burned and left ashes in it’s wake sometimes.
Which again maybe that was just a part of life too because life was fucked up and hard. Never guaranteed to be easy even if Avery wished it were.
Because if it were she wouldn’t have to keep her girlfriend a secret from her family.
Hearing a knock on her bedroom door Avery came out of her thoughts as she turned her head, seeing Jessica standing in the doorway. An amused smile playing on her sister’s lips.
“Man you really do check out when you paint,” Jessica said leaving Avery wondering how long she had been knocking on the door. “But I just came to tell you that I was going to start a movie with Zoe and Mac. Maybe pop some popcorn too in case you wanted to join us.”
Eying Jessica skeptically Avery stayed seated, “You mean you actually want me to be there?” she asked figuring Jessica was still upset about Avery’s upcoming trip this summer.
After all this was really the first time in weeks Jessica had spoken nicely to her.
“Yeah I want you there,” Jessica answered as a guilty looked passed her face. “I know I’ve been a bitch lately,” she spoke and maybe it surprised Avery to hear her older sister cussing.
It always seemed rare when she did.
“No kidding,” Avery told her with a tiny laugh. “I almost think that’s an understatement.”
“Maybe it is,” Jessica agreed with a nod. “But I know I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Should have been more upset with mom and dad since they are the ones who wouldn’t let me have more freedom and are okay with you traveling alone at seventeen. So I’m sorry and I’d love it if you joined our little sibling movie fest.”
Avery smiled some as she nodded her head, “Just let me clean up here and then I’ll be down,” she said agreeing to watch the movie with her siblings. “What movie is it anyway?”
“Dirty Dancing,” Jessica answered with a smile. “Figure Mac won’t like it but it’s payback for him making me watch The Goonies so many times last time we all went on a really long trip together.”
Laughing at that Avery shook her head, watching as Jessica left her room after answering her and once she was gone Avery began to clean her art stuff up. Glad that she got the painting at least started even if it wasn’t finished.
She could finish it sometime this week or maybe next….though in the end she knew it’d probably be sometime in May when she finished painting it since she had her last GED class this week and then the test at the start of next month.
Two things she was really nervous over and afraid she’d fail even if she was studying her ass off in hopes that she didn’t fail it.
Mainly because she really did want this summer trip and she really wanted to start college soon even if she wouldn’t be starting it this fall. At least she’d have a bit longer to decide what she wanted to study when she did go.
Only really knowing it’d be art related because art was in her blood. It was a language she spoke fluently.
Making it downstairs eventually, Avery paused when she went into the living room seeing both Zoe and Mac on the couch though Jessica was nowhere in sight.
“Where is Jessie at?” Avery asked curiously as she looked down at her younger siblings who were both for once silent.
A very rare occasion for either of them.
“In the kitchen with your girlfriend,” Zoe stated answering Avery first as her blue eyes locked with Avery’s brown and Avery was sure at her sister’s words her face had paled slightly.
“What?!” Avery questioned her voice raising some because surely her sister hadn’t meant it the way it had sounded to Avery like she had meant it.
Mac laughed softly as he shook his head, “What our dear baby sister meant is Jessie is in the kitchen with your friend who is a girl,” he spoke with a smile that resembled Zac’s. “I believe her name is Paisley and she’s the one our mom doesn’t like for odd reasons.”
Avery visibly relaxed some as she heard Mac’s words, though she was still on edge with the way Zoe had worded things.
But then again Avery was sure lately she had been on edge with Zoe a lot which was sad because she didn’t want that. Almost sometimes wished that she and Zoe could have been as close as her and Jessica were even if sometimes she and Jessica did have disagreements or even if Avery felt sometimes she had to strive to please Jessica.
Yet deep down she feared she’d never be as close to Zoe. Not like she wanted and especially not if Zoe still blamed her for stuff that was going wrong with their family.
Nodding her head Avery turned and left the room, heading towards the kitchen where she indeed found Jessica and Paisley fixing two bowls of popcorn.
“Paisley?” Avery questioned because she was surprised to see Paisley here in the kitchen. Surprised to see her at the house at all.
Almost expecting that after her first disaster of a visit here she’d avoid the place like the plague or something. Avery would have if she had been in Paisley’s shoes.
At her words both Jessica and Paisley turned to look at her, equal amounts of amusement on their faces.
“Oh yeah maybe I should have mentioned your friend was here too,” Jessica spoke as she picked up the bowl of popcorn she had been fixing. “My bad,” she shrugged her shoulders innocently before leaving the kitchen.
Though as she left Avery got the feeling that Jessica hadn’t told her on purpose which made Avery cross her arms as she gave Paisley a skeptical look.
“Hey now,” Paisley finally broke her silence. “Don’t look at me like that okay.”
“Look at you like what?” Avery asked as she kept her arms crossed over her chest.
“Like I kicked your best friend or your favorite pet or something,” Paisley answered as she walked closer to Avery. “I just wanted to surprise you and so I told your sister not to mention that I was here,” she explained before reaching out to rest her hands on Avery’s crossed arms. “I just wanted to see you today and all. I mean it’s been a month since we became official.”
Avery uncrossed her arms after that, “I get that,” she nodded her head. “I guess I’m just surprised you’re here is all. I mean after last time you know. I’d have avoided this place like the plague.”
Paisley laughed at that, “I thought about it. Trust me I thought about it but the need and the want to see you won out.”
Smiling softly Avery moved a bit closer to Paisley, “I feel kind of flattered knowing you wanted and needed to see me bad enough that it won out over you avoiding my house like the plague.”
“You should be,” Paisley told her as she leaned in to peck Avery’s lips. “You’re kind of worth it.”
Avery felt her smile grow at that before pecking Paisley’s lips back. “We better go join my siblings for the movie,” she spoke knowing they shouldn’t stay in the kitchen alone much longer.
Afraid that one of her siblings would come looking and maybe see or hear something they shouldn’t see or hear.
“Wait,” Paisley told her as she reached into her pocket briefly before pulling out a necklace. “I sort of got this for you.”
Taking the necklace from Paisley, Avery smiled more as she saw the tiny art easel and paintbrush pendants on it. “You didn’t have to do this,” she told her knowing that she hadn’t gotten her anything.
Hadn’t expected to see her at all today either but maybe she should have known Paisley would find a way to see her. That her girlfriend was just that stubborn to find a way when there didn’t seem like one.
“I wanted too,” Paisley told her before leaning in and kissing her again and this time it was much longer than a peck.
Avery letting her eyes fall shut as she returned the kiss. Forgetting briefly that they were in the kitchen of her parents house. At least until she heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen and she quickly pulled away right before Zoe and Mac both came to a stop in the kitchen doorway.
“Can you two come on already,” Zoe spoke her voice sounding all whiny as she looked from Avery and Paisley. “Jessie refuses to start the movie without you guys in there.”
“We’re coming, we’re coming,” Avery plastered on a smile even though she was nervous because that had been close.
After saying that to Zoe she pocketed her necklace and moved to leave the kitchen, watching as Paisley went to grab the bowl of popcorn and as all four of them walked back towards the living room Avery let her arm go around Zoe as she pulled her younger sister close.
Listening as behind them Mac began a game of twenty-one questions with Paisley. Starting with what her favorite video game was because he truly was Zac’s little brother.
It was something that amused her but also something that made her hope that when she came out maybe some of her family would be accepting. Especially if she was still dating Paisley when she came out to them…if she ever did.