July 2010
Waking the next morning to the sound of her cell phone ringing Avery opened her eyes as she sat up in bed groggily. Reaching for her phone where she saw the name of her girlfriend staring back up at her and all she felt was guilt.
She was guilty because she hadn’t called her to cancel their skype date like she had wanted to do after kissing Ethan and she was guilty for kissing Ethan and having liked it.
She hated herself for last night and allowing it to happen. Wished she had been sober because at least then she’d have an excuse for what happened. She’d have an excuse for being weak as well as an excuse for liking the kiss she had shared with a boy…man.
Avery once again hating that her mind had corrected her because up until last night she had only seen Ethan as a boy who was her friend. But now after that kiss, after the way he had set her body on fire and sparked something inside of her to make her feel alive there was no way she could use boy to describe him.
He was a man who in the span of just a few hours had knocked her whole world upside down.
Coming out of her thoughts though Avery answered the phone, putting it to her ear but before she could say anything Cordelia started speaking.
“So you’re answering me now?” she asked sounding irritated. “You leave me with a fucking text last night saying you have to run an errand and then you just ignore all my texts after that. Not even having the decency to officially cancel our plans last night to Skype.”
Avery shook her head almost regretfully even though she knew she couldn’t be seen. “I’m sorry Cordy,” she offered because sorry was all she had.
It wasn’t like she could admit that she hadn’t had the nerve to text because she had an internal dilemma after kissing Ethan. That would only make things worse with Cordelia and hadn’t she learned from all the shit with Paisley to avoid that with Cordelia?
Maybe but then again maybe she’d learn not to kiss other people when dating Cordelia too.
At least she hadn’t had sex with Ethan again. Even if last night the thought had crossed her mind. How she would have let him take her there in her car if he had wanted too.
“Sorry doesn’t always fix everything Avery.”
Sighing Avery knew Cordelia had a point but again it was all she had to offer.
“I know that,” she told her sounding genuine. “I can make it up to you if you want,” she spoke feeling like she owed it to Cordelia to make it up to her.
Sadly that seemed to be a running theme in their relationship. Avery feeling like she owed Cordelia and she knew it all stemmed from the fact that she still wasn’t in love with her.
“And how are you going to do that?” Cordelia questioned Avery hearing the doubt in her voice. How she sounded like she didn’t expect that Avery could.
Maybe Avery never really did make things up to Cordelia right and Cordelia just never had the nerve to tell her.
“We can Skype tonight and even have sex over skype. I don’t have to work today and so I’ll be free all night.”
“No last minute errands will pop up?”
Avery once again shook her head again knowing she couldn’t be seen. “No,” she said honestly because she doubted after last night that Ethan would feel up to going out today.
His liver probably needed a break.
“I’ll pencil you in,” Cordelia spoke as a smile sounded like it was making its way on her face. “But I am having dinner with Jane tonight so it will have to be after that.”
“Jane,” Avery spoke feeling something in her stomach tighten and she knew it was jealousy though she had no reason to be jealous. Cordelia would never cheat, that was Avery’s speciality. “The same Jane who is your ex?”
“That would be her,” Cordelia answered as if she didn’t hear the jealousy in Avery’s voice or maybe she didn’t care. “She actually showed up at my parents Fourth of July thing last night. I guess she is mutual friends with one of my cousins or something and we talked. Agreed to have dinner tonight. It’s her last night as she is flying back to Nashville were she is going to school at.”
“Oh how nice,” Avery muttered out her voice clipped because besides jealousy she was also angry. Knew if she wanted to have dinner with Paisley that Cordelia would blow a lid.
Then again she had cheated with Paisley and Cordelia had never gave her a reason to think she’d cheat. Even if she’d have every right to do so.
“Yeah, I just hope it isn’t too awkward,”Cordelia continued again acting as if she didn’t hear the change in Avery’s tone. “Do you think it will be?”
“I’m sure it will be great Cordy,” Avery told her faking mock confidence for her girlfriend. “I’m just going to go now. Text me when you are available,” she told her hanging up before Cordelia could even say goodbye.
After she hung up Avery slipped out of bed. Getting some clothes together because what she wanted was a nice long shower.
To get over the anger at her girlfriend as well as trying to forget the weird confusing feelings she had on kissing Ethan.
Leaving the bathroom after she had showered and changed into some comfortable clothes Avery was in the process of pulling her hair into a wet bun when spotted Ethan in the kitchen. He was wearing only his boxers and his head was resting against the kitchen table where he sat in a seat in front of it.
A tiny snort of laughter escaping Avery’s lips. An action that had Ethan lifting his head as he gave her a glare.
“Don’t laugh at my misfortune darling,” Ethan muttered out sounding like he looked which was like shit. “And my head hurts.”
“Well,” Avery started after she had finished fixing her hair. “Maybe this will teach you not to drink so much.”
“We both know it won’t.”
Humming in agreement Avery only smirked when Ethan glared at her again though she didn’t respond right away. Instead she went about getting things ready to fix breakfast. Her back turned to him as she worked.
But the moment she had the stove ready and the eggs in the skillet she turned back to him. “Do you need me to get you some medicine after I fix scrambled eggs?”
“Please,” Ethan spoke sounding desperate. “Anything to get rid of this headache will work.”
“Then I’ll get you some once breakfast is ready,” Avery told him as things fell silent between them and it wasn’t a bad silence. It was a good silence which felt nice after last night especially seeing as they had kissed and Ethan admitted to finding her pretty.
A kiss that shouldn’t have happened and she had to tell him it wouldn’t happen again. Just now wasn’t that time. She’d tell him after he had food and medicine in him. Figured it would go better then even if things were going well now.
Biting her lip once both she and Ethan were done with breakfast and he had taken the medicine for his headache, Avery tried to ignore the way her stomach kept flipping at just the closeness of him as they both stood at the sink doing dishes.
Not just this mornings dishes but dishes that had accumulated over the last several days and they hadn’t had a chance to do with both their busy schedules.
The simple task feeling much more domestic than Avery liked. Especially again after the kiss that had made her feel things she hadn’t felt in so long.
“We need to talk,” Avery finally started deciding to just go ahead and get this conversation over with. “About last night,” she added on as she turned her head to look at Ethan. Watching as he turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow.
At least he had the audacity to look confused. That or maybe he really was. Maybe he didn’t even remember the kiss at all and if that was the case then things were going to get really awkward now.
That would be just Avery’s luck in the end.
“About last night?” Ethan questioned and again he was acting so confused.
Nodding her head Avery had to look away from him. Focusing her eyes on the water in the sink instead.
“About the kiss,” she sighed still unable to face him even with the words out of her mouth.
Ethan let out his own sigh, “I was hoping we could just avoid that,” he told her. Which let her know that at least he remembered. He hadn’t been that drunk that he forgot all about it.
“Because you know it shouldn’t have happened?” Avery asked him as she finally chanced a look at him. Seeing a weird look on his face.
It was a look she couldn’t read which concerned her because usually she was good at reading Ethan.
“Because I don’t regret it.”
After Ethan’s confession Avery sucked in her breath, not even sure why she was shocked by it. It shouldn’t have shocked her to know he didn’t regret the kiss even now that he was sober.
Which only made Avery wonder just how long he had less than friendly thoughts about her. Her mind going to New Years Eve especially.
Some of the pieces starting to fit together but maybe not all of them made sense because she still didn’t know everything. She couldn’t read his mind even if she wanted too.
Looking away from him again she shook her head. “Well regardless of you not regretting it, it can’t happen again,” she told him sounding firm. “I have a girlfriend and the kiss was just me appeasing you because you were drunk and annoying.”
Ethan let out a small chuckle which made Avery raise her eyebrow though she refused to look at him.
“You didn’t have to kiss me so intensely if that was all it was to you Avery,” Ethan countered and Avery felt her cheeks getting hot especially when he moved his hands from the sink.
Avery watching from the corner of her eye as he wiped them off on a dish towel.
“The kiss was so much more than that,” he continued, his hand going to rest on her arm softly. Enough though that her skin once again felt on fire. “But fine it won’t happen again,” he agreed but even as he said those words he leaned down getting closer to her.
Close enough that his lips were resting on her cheek.
“Just know that I’m eventually going to wreck you Avery Laurel Hanson,” he muttered as his breath hit her skin. “I’m going to make you crumble and fall apart and you’re going to let me,” he said so matter of factly.
Avery’s eyes closing when he finally leaned in to leave a kiss on her cheek. Goosebumps forming on her body and maybe he was right.
Maybe he would wreck her.
Opening her eyes when Ethan moved away Avery just stayed where she was as he left the kitchen. Her body still trying to recover from just a simple cheek kiss as well as his words.