March 2008
Avery nervously fidgeted with the heart ring that she wore on her right hand. A ring that had been a birthday gift from her father the year she turned sixteen and one she rarely took off. Mainly because it meant a lot to her as it was the first piece of jewelry she had gotten from anyone.
Now though she was finding that it was a perfect tool to ease her nerves because she was standing outside her mom’s room and trying to get up the courage to go in and beg for forgiveness. But her nerves were winning and she was about to chicken out and not do it.
Just run back to the hotel room which she shared with Zoe and let the anger between her mom and herself linger. But she knew better than that. Knew it wouldn’t do any good so she stopped fidgeting with her ring and looked up.
Raising her hand she knocked hesitantly on her mom’s bedroom door. Not having to wait long for her mom to answer it.
“Avery,” Diana spoke with an expectant tone to her voice. “I take it you are here to talk about how you acted today?”
Avery nodded her head as she felt a lump in her throat, tears soon coming to her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she apologized finally breaking down and the moment she did her mom put an arm around her and ushered her inside. Shutting the door behind them.
“I’m sure you are,” Diana told her as she rubbed her back. “That was so unlike how you usually are Avery Laurel,” she continued to speak as she walked them to the bed and once they were there she sat down on the side after pulling away from Avery.
Patting the spot beside her for Avery to sit down which she did.
“I know it was,” Avery acknowledged as she reached up to wipe some of her tears away. “I just I guess I had a lot on my mind and I just snapped,” she spoke not wanting to admit that most of the reason she had went off is because she was sleep deprived and she did truly think her mom’s new rule was bullshit.
Diana’s face softened some as she reached over to move Avery’s hair out of her face, “What all has been on your mind Avie? You can tell me I’m your mom.”
Avery looked away from her mom, knowing that she could tell her mom almost anything but she couldn’t tell her everything that had been happening lately.
“Just my friends are all going to leave Tulsa by the end of the year and I’m going to be all alone,” Avery told her mom as her voice went soft. She knew Paisley may still be in Tulsa but again it just wouldn’t be the same without her two friends. “Cordelia got into college in San Francisco and Juniper’s moving to North Carolina with the person she’s dating.”
Diana took in what Avery said, her face staying soft, “I didn’t even know Juniper had a boyfriend,” she smiled and Avery knew she couldn’t correct her mom. Not when everything was so fragile. “But I do get how you feel. You’ll feel lost without both of them right?”
“Yeah,” Avery confirmed as she felt more tears going down her cheeks. “Almost wish we could see about me getting my GED when we get back to Tulsa so I can finish school early.”
“And what would that accomplish Avery?” Diana asked with a tiny laugh. “Your friends will still be gone and you’ll still be stuck in Tulsa without them.”
“I know but I could graduate early and maybe travel for the summer,” Avery suggested with a smile. “Get to see the world some more. I mean I have money saved up from baby-sitting jobs I’ve done for friends and also Nikki because she pays me whereas the other wives don’t.”
Diana sighed at her words, “You really want to travel all summer? At seventeen?”
Avery nodded her head, “Just the states and maybe France. I mean if you and dad will let me,” she spoke knowing she was testing her luck on an idea that had just really came to her now.
One that made her nervous because how could she even tell Paisley this? Though why would Paisley even care? They were just friends with benefits after all.
“I’ll talk to your father about it,” Diana told Avery with a smile that let her know that maybe her mom was warm to the idea. “But I still want to meet this new friend you have Avery,” she finished and Avery looked away from her mom.
Having hoped that her mom had forgotten about that.
“I’ll talk to her when we get back and maybe you can meet her then,” Avery said already dreading telling Paisley that too.
Diana smiled even more at that before pulling Avery into another hug, “Good,” she whispered as she rubbed Avery’s back again. “I’m glad things are okay between us again Avery. I hate it when I argue with any of you kids and I swear you all get your ability to want to test me from your dad.”
Avery laughed at that, the tears she had from before slowly going away. Feeling a bit better now that she had talked to her mom.
Just a bit because she still hated that her mom wanted to meet Paisley and she was also worried that maybe eventually once her mom talked to her dad that she wouldn’t get to do what she wanted about her schooling or even leaving Tulsa for the summer.
Already deciding that if she did get to travel for the summer she’d see about enrolling in a school in the fall of 2008 or maybe even in the spring of 2009. Whichever one felt better for her.
Though she’d wait until later to reveal that to her parents. Maybe after her trip if she got to go on it.
Going back to the room she was sharing with Zoe, Avery stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Soon going to her bag to grab her pajamas to change into after she showered.
“Someone came by looking for you while you were gone,” Zoe spoke and Avery could hear her sister moving towards the end of her bed so she could be closer to where Avery was bent over her bag getting her clothes out.
“Someone came looking for me?” Avery asked as she turned her head to look at her sister. Seeing a CD case as well as a folded up piece of paper in her hand.
Zoe nodded her head looking at Avery as if Avery were slow. “Blonde girl, hipster wanna be, wears reading glasses for fun,” she told Avery as she described who had came by and Avery hoped she was able to keep her composure because Zoe had just described Paisley.
“She left these for you,” Zoe finished as she handed the folded up paper and CD to Avery.
Reaching out Avery took the paper and the CD from Zoe, “You didn’t read this did you?” she asked her voice sounding like that of a scared child.
But again she knew how her sister was. Had even caught Zoe once going through Jessica’s diary so it wouldn’t have been above her to read whatever was in the letter that Paisley had written to her.
Which was scary to think about because she wasn’t sure she wanted Zoe knowing about Paisley and her just yet. Zoe wasn’t the ideal candidate she wanted to come out too first in her family.
“No,” Zoe answered with a shake of her head, her face remaining neutral. “Who was the girl though? I’ve never seen her before.”
Standing up once she had her clothes, Avery tightened her grip on the CD and the letter, “Just a friend,” she sighed afraid to reveal too much.
“The one mom wants to meet?” Zoe questioned again and Avery only remained silent as she left to head into the bathroom.
Once she was inside, she shut the door behind her and locked it. Laying her clothes down before unfolding the letter and reading what Paisley had written.
My Dearest Avery,
Pathetic opener I know but forgive me I wanted to sound like one of those people in those books you read at the record store when you think I’m not looking. I think the first time I saw you, you were reading Pride and Prejudice instead of actually drawing anything.
Again probably pathetic that I am mentioning that or even that I paid attention to you so much before I decided to speak with you. But I really don’t regret choosing to speak to you.
I don’t regret propositioning you with sex because you took me up on that offer and it’s been the best few weeks of my life. You’re the moon to my sun and I just love spending time with you and I woke up kicking myself for not saying that to you last night on the balcony when you came to my hotel room.
I think that’s one reason why it was so hard being away from you these last few days while stuck with Junie and Cal. They reminded me of what I miss in you. Just your simple company.
Though I guess if you have this letter it means I missed seeing you in person. I had to maybe beg Cordelia for your hotel room number and I still swear she hates me and maybe she hates you too cause she didn’t sound too pleased when I mentioned you.
I guess I’ll see you when you come back to Tulsa though but until then I left you with a CD I bought you this afternoon when Junie drug me around downtown Austin. It’s Tegan and Sara and I own all their albums so far even this one. The song Downtown describes better how I feel about you better than I can.
Listen to it and think of me.
Your Sun, Paisley.
P.S. When you get back to Tulsa I’m literally going to drag you to my apartment and take you back to my room and fuck you for hours to make up for lost time. Then I’ll buy you tons of vegan tacos to build your appetite back up.
Laughing at the last line Avery folded the letter back up and she slowly put it in the pants of the jeans she had on. Before undressing in a hurry to get a shower. Wanting to listen to that CD as soon as she could.
After she got done in the bathroom Avery left it, putting her dirty clothes in the side of her suitcase for the clothes she needed to wash when she got back home.
Then she moved to her bed, reaching for her laptop which she turned on. Opening the CD player on it and before finding her earbuds which she plugged in so that her music wouldn’t disturb Zoe.
Once her earbuds were in she opened the CD case and took the CD out, slipping it into the player and closing it. Waiting until after it loaded on her Itunes to find the song Paisley had mentioned and clicking play.
A smile playing on her lips as she laid back on the bed and took in the words of the song. Took in what Paisley was trying to say to her through music.
If you’re gonna get up, you might as well get up with me
If you’re going downtown, I might as well be on your way
And I sit all night, I sit still all night
I won’t tell one soul, I won’t tell one soul
I just can’t get it straight you see and oh well
That distraction inside of me, oh well
I just can’t get it straight you see and oh well
Is fine by you, I am fine by you
I won’t tell one soul, I won’t tell one soul
If you’re going downtown, take me with you
I don’t care if I’m gonna get up, I’ll just admit it
I only get up for you if I’m going to get up
I’ll just admit it I only get up for you
And I sit all night, I sit still all night
I won’t tell one soul, I won’t tell one soul
Her smile soon growing even more once the song ended. Her feelings for Paisley maybe growing just a bit more because maybe she couldn’t help but think or hope that Paisley maybe was starting to develop feelings for her.
That or Avery was just really delusional and wanted it to happen that bad. Which with her luck was probably the case.
But even if Paisley was developing feelings for her Avery almost was scared to try a relationship. Not just because she’d have to keep it a secret but because obviously Cordelia was still angry and upset over things and Avery hated that her best friend, the first girl she had really had a crush on was angry at her.
Because this kind of anger felt different than it usually did. Which made Avery scared that their friendship may never be the same and was Paisley worth ruining that over?
Even if she really was beginning to feel deep and scary feelings for Paisley. Feelings she hadn’t had for anyone else and feelings that wanted to break to the surface yet not at the same time.
Something that Avery was afraid was love because it couldn’t be love. Not yet, it was too soon. But her mom had always told her sometimes when you meet someone you just know. Then again that was coming from the woman who had met her future husband in middle school.