February 2008
Frowning as she looked at herself in front of the mirror Avery knew she was being pathetic. Worrying over what to wear to go to Paisley’s for a..well more than likely a booty call but here she was standing in front of her mirror worrying. Much like she had worried mere days ago when she had went on her first date with Jeremy.
But this wasn’t a date. It was sex and Paisley wasn’t her girlfriend. She had only known her for five days so Paisley was just her friend if even that, that she liked to fool around with. Even if her liking that meant opening a can of worms Avery was still afraid of because she knew when she opened them she’d have to eventually decide stuff.
Do things she still wasn’t ready for because there were people in her life she cared deeply for that she was afraid she’d lose if she was honest with herself. People who were her own flesh and blood. So for now maybe she’d live in blissful ignorance. Pretend to be happy with Jeremy and in some ways she was happy.
Just not as happy as she could be and if she was a normal girlfriend she wouldn’t be dreading the double date they had with Jessica and Joe coming up this weekend. Nor would she be cheating on Jeremy and if he knew the truth he’d probably be devastated.
Hating her for cheating and hating her for not being happy and just using him to stay in denial. Even though maybe she did love him in her own right but not like he deserved. Not like he needed.
Coming out of her thoughts Avery only shook her head before throwing her hair into a tight ponytail and turning to leave her room. Nerves building in her stomach as she went downstairs. Hoping that she could avoid her family because she really didn’t want to explain to them why she was wearing makeup and a nice shirt just to go visit Juniper.
Which had been the lie she had made up to get out of the house this time. That she was going to visit Juniper and luckily her parents had fell for it and well she would be close enough to Juniper that maybe it wasn’t a total lie. She’d be at the same apartment complex anyway.
Avery wasn’t almost in the clear, having just stepped outside to head to her car when she heard a car door in the driveway and she turned her head seeing Zac get out of his car and she paused in her tracks to give him a look.
There was something off about him from the last time she saw but she couldn’t tell what but it was there. Something different in her brother even in the way he walked and carried himself. Like maybe he wasn’t all that happy even with the upcoming birth of his son which should have made him happy but then again it also had to be bittersweet too.
With Kate’s past miscarriage and so maybe that’s what it was. His whole mood was just off because of things bothering him. The new life changes he had happening.
“Hey Avie baby,” Zac spoke as he got closer to where she was still standing on the porch and of course Avery rolled her eyes at the nickname he used. One which had been given to her in childhood and one she hated. “Hot date tonight?” he asked her with an eyebrow raise as he stopped on the porch and Avery blushed at the way he examined her.
Shaking her head no she looked away from his gaze, “Just going to visit Juniper. Her parents are out of town and it’s just her and her brother Wyatt there tonight and she’s bored out of her mind,” she said continuing the lie she had told her parents. “Don’t really have a hot date until Friday night,” she admitted having realized that she hadn’t told Zac yet that she was even dating Jeremy.
Though maybe he already knew word did travel fast in this family and sometimes it seemed almost hard to keep a secret yet here she was lying nowadays like it was the easiest thing in the world knowing somehow and some way it could all get exposed.
“Friday night?” Zac asked sounding almost amused. “Who’s the lucky man..I mean boy he better be a boy and not a man,” he spoke though there was still an amusement to his tone even after he had corrected himself on his wording.
“Jeremy,” Avery confessed blushing and she was a bit thankful she had put some blush on. Maybe her own blush wouldn’t be as noticeable. “Had our first date on Valentine’s day.”
Zac seemed to fall silent at that and his silence almost made her nervous. “Always figured he was gay,” he finally spoke and his words made Avery laugh some because surely she’d know if he was gay. “But I guess it makes sense. You two have always been close and he’s Joe’s brother and Mac’s best friend.”
“Yeah, it does make sense,” Avery agreed almost feeling with the way Zac had worded it he had made it sound like she was just settling for Jeremy and hell maybe she was for now.
He was safe and brought less damage than who she’d really rather have deep down which was Cordelia.
After speaking an almost awkward silence passed for a few minutes before Avery inhaled deeply before giving Zac a tiny smile. “Well I better go,” she said as she made to move off the porch finally. “Don’t want Juniper waiting too long,” she spoke as she moved past Zac on the way off the porch.
Though before she made it fully to her car she turned back, seeing that Zac had just put his hand on the doorknob to go inside. But she called his name out before he could open the door and she watched as he turned to face her. Obviously confused as to why she wanted his attention.
“I just…I wanted to say I love you Zac and yeah,” Avery muttered just wanting him to know. Especially since he had seemed off earlier as he had walked to the porch. “You’re my big brother so I have too I guess but I wanted you to know,” she said with a tiny laugh and slight shrug of her shoulders.
Zac smiled at her words. Not a big one and it didn’t quite reach his eyes but it was enough it seemed. At least Avery hoped it was.
“Love you too Avie baby,” Zac nodded as his smile faltered some. “And tell Jeremy if he hurts you I’ll gladly kick his ass. I’m pretty sure I could rough him up pretty well.”
Avery laughed though she had to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying that she doubted he could do much harm to Jeremy. Not when he looked like sometimes a gust of wind could come along and blow him away but then again she was sure in a few weeks or so he’d gain some weight, that’s how it always went with Zac but of course it was just the strict fasting he did.
At least Avery hoped it was just because of the church and the fasting and it wasn’t like he was that skinny even if he looked like a gust of wind could blow him away. There were no bones coming out and wasn’t that when people should get worried?
“Yeah, yeah I’ll tell him,” Avery smiled knowing her smile probably seemed much more genuine than Zac’s smile from just moments before and a part of her wished she could take whatever was nagging Zac away from him.
But she couldn’t and she wasn’t sure even if she did what she’d do when she had her own shit to deal with and sort through.
Turning back around Avery finished walking to her car. Getting in and starting it up before driving to the apartment complex where both Paisley and Juniper lived.
The nerves from earlier coming back and settling inside of her stomach but she hoped they’d go away before the night was up.
It wasn’t like everything tonight would be new to her. Paisley had been between her legs the last time though if Paisley kept her word and let Avery between her legs well that would be new. Something Avery hadn’t ever done before and she hoped she’d be good at it.
Had maybe watched a few porn videos when she got home just to maybe get some tips as well as to help get her off and god had it gotten her off. Watching two women go at it with each other and get off. It had been some of the best orgasms she had given herself especially with the added of images of Paisley in her head while also watching the porn.
Arriving at Paisley’s, Avery parked her car in a parking space and got out of her car cautiously. Looking around just in case Juniper was out, afraid of being busted by her friend because again that was something she didn’t need. Not now when she still felt so conflicted and confused.
Knowing there was no way she’d be able to explain her reason for being here at the apartment complex. Not when Juniper had maybe saw her last time if the text after was anything to go by.
Feeling like she was in the clear Avery finally began to walk towards the building where Paisley lived. Her nerves now getting much worse. To the point where she almost contemplated turning around and going back to her car. Getting in and driving off and pretending again that she was fine and sane and that she didn’t want a girl to get her off.
Pretend that she didn’t like the feel of another girls mouth against her own or the feeling of that same mouth against her wet pussy as said girl used her fingers too, to get her off.
But deep down Avery knew she’d never be able to pretend that she didn’t like it or want it and wasn’t that why she had really ran to Paisley after seeing Jeremy today? Not just because she was confused but because deep down she had wanted the sex again.
Wanted the feeling of Paisley’s lips and fingers on her. Making her moan as she got off and forgot all of the issues plaguing her life. Forgot that she was trying and failing to be a good christian girl and a good girlfriend to the first boy she had ever really dated.
Making it to Paisley’s apartment, Avery came out of her thoughts long enough to raise her hand and knock on the door. Biting her lip softly as she waited for Paisley to answer the door. Though when the door did open Avery paused her heartbeat coming to a stop as she came face to face with Calliope.
Juniper’s girlfriend and the girl who was Paisley’s friend and fuck this wasn’t what she had planned on happening.
“Avery?” Calliope asked with a raised eyebrow as if she too was surprised that Avery was on the other side of the door. “What a surprise,” she spoke sounding truly and utterly surprised just like she looked. “When Pai said she was having a friend over I didn’t expect it was going to be you,” she laughed softly almost like she was used to Paisley telling her about her sex life and maybe she was.
Avery was used to hearing about Cordelia and Junipers or more so Juniper’s because Cordelia seemed to have a lack of one. Much like Avery had, had up until a few days ago when she had first had sex with Paisley.
“I knew you gave me gay vibes the other day,” Calliope continued in Avery’s silence. “God Junie is going to love knowing she was right about her in denial best friend being a lesbian.”
“I…” Avery started wanting to deny Calliope’s words. Tell her that she wasn’t a lesbian but no denial came. Instead she just stood there after only saying I, her heartbeat beating a bit faster as her palms began to get sweaty and she was half afraid she was going to have or was already having a panic attack.
She’d never had one before but surely this had to be how one felt. Like she was about to literally die and she was because this wasn’t how she wanted to be outed. Not by Juniper’s girlfriend and not just because she was having sex with Paisley.
If she was gay then she wanted to come out in her own way and not be forced out by someone else.
“She’s not a lezzie Cal,” Paisley’s voice sounded from behind Calliope and Calliope moved out of the way slightly, giving Avery a glimpse of Paisley who was clad only in a towel, her hair wet with water droplets still on her body slightly and Avery did her best not to stare. “She’s just confused,” she shrugged though as she talked she gave Avery a look.
A look that said she knew her own words were a lie but they weren’t. Avery was confused about her sexuality still or so she swore.
Calliope raised her eyebrow as she looked at Paisley curiously, “You said you’d already hooked up with the girl coming over tonight when I was giving you shit for wanting to kick me out of your house so you could shower. I think one hookups enough to know things,” she stated and her words made Avery blush though she did finally find the strength to step inside the apartment.
Doing her best to look away from both Paisley and Calliope once she was inside.
“Yeah well Hanson over there is still confused,” Paisley said clearly sounding annoyed now. “Also like you just said I was trying to kick you out while I was showering and you had promised to leave. Go see your lover girl or something as you put it,” she continued and her annoyance faded some but not much.
Calliope only snorted, “You’re trying to drop the subject for now as well as my grilling of Avery,” she said and her words made Avery look up at Calliope. “Just know this isn’t over and I will grill you the next time I see you.”
“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” Paisley told her any traces of annoyance now gone completely. “Now get out of here you annoying twit.”
“Yeah, yeah going now Pai,” Calliope relented walking out of the still open door and once she had left, shutting the door behind her Avery let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she had been holding inside.
“She’s going to tell Juniper,” Avery spoke as she looked over at Paisley. The same panic from earlier now taking hold in her and this time she felt tears beginning to form in her eyes. “This isn’t how I wanted things to go and she’s going to fucking tell Juniper who will tell Cordelia and I don’t want that. Not yet,” she muttered almost speaking in one big breath as the tears began to go down her cheeks.
Her heartbeat still just as fast as before and her hands slightly shaking.
Before she could say anything else though Paisley had walked over to her and enveloped her in a hug. Which shocked Avery some and also caused Avery to bend down some because Paisley was short. Shorter than Avery’s five foot eight anyway and Avery buried her head into Paisley’s shoulder as she cried more.
Still feeling so scared and afraid that Calliope would out her from the closet she was in. A closet that she wasn’t sure if it was labeled bisexual or lesbian though deep down she had a feeling what it was which scared her.
“Cal won’t tell,” Paisley spoke softly as she just held Avery. Her words sounding so sure and Avery wished she could be that sure but she wasn’t because obviously she had only met Calliope this past weekend. “Cal’s just forgot what it was like to be young and scared and in the closet. But eventually she’ll come to her senses she always does when she acts like an idiot.”
Avery laughed softly at Paisley’s words though she didn’t budge from moving her head or removing herself from Paisley’s embrace because it felt good. Felt right.
“She’s your best friend, pretty sure you shouldn’t call her an idiot,” she said as she calmed slightly though a part of her would probably be on edge for a while unsure if Calliope would tell or not.
Paisley laughed as well after Avery spoke. “Her being my best friend means I get to call her an idiot whenever I please,” she defended as she loosened her grip on Avery some. “I mean you’ve never called Cordelia or Juniper idiots?”
“Okay maybe you have me there,” Avery sighed as she lifted her head slightly blushing when she realized how close she still was to Paisley. “You’re sure Calliope won’t tell?” she asked her voice going all soft and low because yeah the fear was still there.
“She won’t tell,” Paisley said as she locked eyes with Avery. “Trust me on that Hanson,” she spoke in a reassuring tone as a smile played on her lips. Lips that Avery wanted to kiss. An urge that she blamed on the close proximity between them right now.
“I do trust you,” Avery stated because fuck she did trust Paisley. Had trusted her with so much already and again she’d be willing to trust her again if she said her friend wouldn’t out Avery.
After all she probably knew Calliope better than anyone just like Avery knew Juniper and Cordelia well even if Avery now suspected that Cordelia did like someone and was deliberately keeping who it was from Avery.
Though with all the secrets Avery had she had no right to question Cordelia or pester her about it.
“I trust you,” Avery reiterated before deciding to prove her words by leaning in to kiss Paisley with a force and passion that hadn’t been there with Jeremy earlier today.
May never be there with Jeremy no matter how much she wanted it too and when Paisley kissed her back all of the sparks her kiss with Jeremy lacked where there now. As if being reignited again after just a short time of being out.
Deepening the kiss Avery moaned out softly into Paisley’s mouth as Paisley slowly walked them both down the hall and into her bedroom. Luck being on their side as neither ran into anything which was well yeah it had to be luck because on the way to the bedroom Paisley had shed her towel as well as somehow undoing Avery’s pants.
Pants that Avery stepped out of when they reached Paisley’s room and she pulled away from the kiss long enough to remove the pants as well as her panties. Acutely aware of the fact that she was naked from the waist down while Paisley was completely naked and it was enough to make her blush as she went in for another kiss.
Her mouth opening instinctively as Paisley’s tongue brushed across her lips wanting an entrance she let it have and her legs too let Paisley finish the walk to the bed. Where Avery finally took over when they reached it. Pushing Paisley down gently before falling over her.
The kiss getting a bit more frantic when their hips ground into each other and Avery felt herself getting wet as her skin was met with the other woman’s smooth skin. A part of her almost wishing that her pussy could have brushed across Paisley’s. Giving herself a friction she wanted and needed.
Biting down on Paisley’s lip gently and briefly Avery pulled away from the kiss again. Long enough to shed out of her shirt as well as her bra. Leaving herself as naked as Paisley was now and again Avery blushed at that fact. Her eyes slowly taking in the other woman’s body because last time she hadn’t been nearly as naked.
Because somehow Paisley had kept on her pants and panties so tonight was the first time that she was seeing her naked and god was she beautiful.
Beautiful in a way Avery hadn’t realized existed and god now that she did she wasn’t sure she wanted to forget it. Forget the image of the naked woman beneath her or the way that she felt like this was right. Oh so fucking right.
“Like what you see?” Paisley asked her slightly cocky voice bringing Avery out of her thoughts. Drawing Avery’s attention to her face were she wore a mischievous little grin. “Does my naked body get you all hot and bothered Hanson?” she asked as she leaned up slowly, her face stopping mere inches from Avery’s as she reached for Avery’s hand.
Slipping the hand between her legs were Avery could feel a wetness, knowing that she was the cause of it. That somehow she affected Paisley as much as Paisley did her.
“See what you’ve done to me?” Paisley asked still sounding a bit cocky though she had a more seductive edge now. “You and your body and those fucking lips on mine. Lips that I keep imagining on the place where your hand is,” she continued and Avery just listened a moan coming out at the last bit because god did she want that too.
Biting her lip Avery closed the tiny gap between them before kissing Paisley again. Her hand slowly moving of it’s own free will against Paisley’s wet flesh, much like Avery would move her hand against herself when she masturbated.
A thrill taking over when Paisley moaned at what she was doing. The other woman getting wetter as she continued to move her hand for a bit longer before finally slipping a finger inside.
Paisley letting out an audible gasp at the intrusion of Avery’s finger. Though she didn’t complain. Instead she instructed Avery to move her finger inside of her fast…faster than what she was and of course Avery complied because in this moment she’d probably give Paisley everything she wanted.
She’d finger her fast before eventually going down on her and then she’d let Paisley return the favor and go down on her. Eat her out like she had days ago.
Give Avery an orgasm better than Avery could give herself.
“This what you want Paisley?” Avery asked softly as she continued the fast pace of her finger, adding a second finger inside as she spoke and instead of Paisley verbally speaking she just moaned and Avery took that moan as a yes.
That this was exactly what she wanted but of course Avery wanted a verbal answer. Not just a moan.
“I didn’t quite hear you,” Avery continued as she slowed her fingers down to tease Paisley. “Was that what you wanted Paisley?”
Paisley nodded her head quickly, “Y..yeah,” she muttered out through a moan as her eyes fell shut tightly. “When did you become such a fucking tease Hanson?” she questioned though she didn’t sound angry.
More than likely she was probably surprised at how bold Avery was being because after all this was Avery’s second time with a woman and yet she was taking control like it didn’t bother her. Though being in control here was nice because at least it was something she could control while the rest of her life seemed out of control.
“Maybe I already was and I just hid it well,” Avery replied back with a smirk before leaning in to kiss Paisley again and as they kissed Avery slowly slipped her fingers out of Paisley’s pussy. An action that caused Paisley to whine into the kiss though the whine died down as Avery broke away from the kiss.
Slowly letting her lips trail down the other woman’s body. Wondering if she was making Paisley’s skin feel as if it was on fire the way Paisley did her anytime they touched now.
Reaching her destination which was between Paisley’s legs Avery looked up at Paisley with a tiny apprehensive smile. Hoping that the porn videos she had watched today did her well and even if they didn’t she hoped Paisley lied at least.
Didn’t make her feel bad after it was all done and over because the last thing Avery needed was a hit to her confidence and ego.
“You’ll be fine,” Paisley spoke as if she had read Avery’s mind though then again maybe her face showed her true emotions. “Just relax Hanson,” she said before reaching down and letting her hand run through Avery’s hair slightly. Causing Avery’s eyes to flutter shut briefly as she took a deep calming breath.
Opening her eyes again she finally leaned forward. Her mouth leaving a light kiss on Paisley’s wet flesh which earned her a tiny moan and the moan alone was enough to urge Avery on.
Her tongue slowly coming out and working at licking and sucking on every bit of flesh she could find which again got Avery more moans from Paisley and the more Paisley moaned the more Avery felt herself relaxing and growing confident in what she was doing.
Even being surprised at how natural this felt. How right it seemed to be going down on another woman. Tasting another woman on her tongue. A taste that she wasn’t opposed too if she were being honest.
Hearing Paisley’s breathing getting harsher Avery slowly looked up, watching the way her face twisted some and her eyes fell shut which made Avery get the distinct feeling that Paisley was close.
Close to her orgasm and Avery wanted to bring her over the edge so she kept her tongue moving for a brief few seconds before her mouth found Paisley’s clit which she soon latched onto. One of her fingers slowly moving back inside of Paisley working it for just a few minutes more than likely, as she sucked on Paisley’s clit.
Feeling a bit proud when Paisley let out a string of curse words as her body went a bit lax.
Avery had just given another woman an orgasm for the first time and god did it feel really good and the fact that she could get used to it scared her a lot. Way more than she liked because again she knew what it meant and again she was way too afraid to admit what it meant out loud.
Moving from between Paisley’s legs Avery slowly moved back up, “Well how did I do?” she asked softly as she laid beside Paisley.
“Did better than I thought you would for your first time going down,” Paisley answered as she turned to look at Avery. “If I were grading you I’d give you a B plus,” she teased which made Avery blush slightly. “Maybe that grade can be changed the more times you go down on me though,” she finished sounding so sure that they’d be doing this again.
Which Avery wouldn’t be opposed to. After all it was no strings attached and it was experimenting while she teeter tottered on the edge of being bisexual or not.
Though Avery didn’t voice her words. Instead she leaned in to peck Paisley on the lips, “Now I think it’s time you return the favor there Chambers,” she smirked as she pulled away and locked eyes with Paisley.
A part of her hating the way her stomach did about a million somersaults and hating the way that Paisley just already felt like home and as if she was important to Avery.
It was much too soon for that and Avery’s life was much too complicated as well. Not to mention she wanted Cordelia…had, had a crush on her before she even realized she really may have liked chicks. But yet here she was feeling for Paisley almost exactly how she felt for Cordelia.